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Charlie Carver has said that a gay colleague in the entertainment industry once gave him a hard time, claiming he was “too effeminate”. The criticism culminated in the unnamed co-worker slapping Carver across the face at a post-Emmys party in 2015.
Carver recounted the incident to Variety yesterday. He was being interviewed to promote the new Netflix drama, The Boys In The Band, in which he features alongside several other gay performers.
Related: Out ‘Ratched’ hunk Charlie Carver on why he doesn’t only want gay roles
Recalling the night, he says the other person, who Carver had worked with (albeit not on screen), told him three times that his acting was effeminate. At the time, Carver was not publicly out.
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“I was told that I needed to ‘get it under control’ around people in the business,” says Carver.
Put out by the comments, later that evening, while Carver was waiting at the valet, he ran into the co-worker again and asked him what exactly he meant.
Instead of offering clarification, the man slapped him across the face.
“It wasn’t playful but intentional, pointed and meant to be instructive. A slap,” says Carver. “I told him that if he ever touched me again, I would name him.”
Carver decided then and there that he was not going to take the co-workers words to heart.
“That was the moment when I said to myself, ‘I can’t do this. I cannot police myself in that way.’”
In January 2016, he came out via Instagram.
Related: Zachary Quinto leaves Charlie Carver wearing absolutely nothing on stage
Carver, now 32, first came to widespread attention with a recurring role in Desperate Housewives, but it was his appearance in Teen Wolf that really catapulted him to fame.
This year, he’s appeared in two high-profile Ryan Murphy productions on Netflix: Ratched and The Boys In The Band. For the latter, he reprised the role that he played in the Broadway revival of the classic 1968 play. The award-winning, groundbreaking-at-the-time drama is centered on a group of gay men at a house gathering over the course of one evening.
Next year, Carver appears on the big screen in The Batman, opposite Robert Pattinson in the titular role.
Update: 10/1/20: Charlie Carver reached out to us to clarify that the person involved was not an actor or co-star, but was someone he’d worked with prior.
Harley
I don’t know about anyone else but Charlie Carver is one f###ing handsome dude.
FunInTheSack
Met him at the LA Fitness on Hollywood Blvd around 2011 or so. Him and his brother Max were students at USC.
He wasn’t out at the time. But was a damn good bottom.
EdWoody
Oooh, we need names. NAMES.
jayceecook
It could be anybody but I went straight to Russell Tovey.
LumpyPillows
Doubt it.
jayceecook
@LumpyPillows If they did work together then it is possible. Are you not familiar with Tovey’s past femme shaming?
TMBisAOK
Russell Tovey is out though.
jayceecook
And? It’s never mentioned the other person was closeted.
Donston
Messy. There are a lot of sociological, ego and sometimes financial/career advantages to being “straight passing”, even after you’re out. Femme-phobia, masculine insecurities and masculine pressures are very prominent among “queers”. They’re just as robust as internalized homophobia or gay shame. But also, Hollywood is all about putting on a veneer and selling a persona.
jjose712
Well, he is not particularly effeminate and even if he was it was only his business.
But it seems the guy is in the closet so probably he has some issues
Cam
In 2015 Teen Wolf was still running but Carver left it in 2014. So it could have been one of those actors. He was also apparently in a movie “I am Michael” with Zachary Quinto. But Quinto came out in 2011 so it doesn’t sound like it was him.
jayceecook
He returned to the show later on with Colton Haynes and their characters were now a couple. Which made no sense since CH’s character was straight. But when he came out to the 3 people in the world who didn’t already know they made his character gay too.
Raphael
I thought about Colton Haynes too, but then I checked, and they are friends on Instagram…
Donston
As far as I can tell he doesn’t say the actor was publicly closeted. So, it could be anyone. Being out does not mean that you don’t deal with femme-phobia. While if you’re a young, good looking actor you’re expected to appeal with a wide variety of women. Embracing a “gay” identify or coming off too into dudes hurts that appeal. But so does coming off like a “queen”. It’s all a part of the Hollywood game and manipulation of ego and sociology. Even many “gays” promote this kind of stuff.
Josh447
Charlie is the last actor I’d pin as effeminate. He comes off very str8 acting and Teen Wolf proved that out as do his interviews. Maybe it was more a jealous slap for some other reason.
Regardless, it’s awesome to see his career sky rocket. He’s a real sweetheart and kills it with his looks and acting style.
Donston
People can be “straight acting” or whatever but not really naturally be that way. And the facade could go away if you get too comfort or too buzzed. That’s fairly common. And if that side comes out there may be people ready to pounce. While gender fluidity or fluidity in expression or mannerisms are also a thing. But of course, you don’t have any real thing to say about toxic masculinity, femme-phobia and masculine pressures because you’ve denied they exist a multitude of times.
jayceecook
I do believe CC was talking about how he acts in his daily life. People can appear one way onscreen but very differently off. It seems this person was implying that CC acts femme or somewhat femme in his personal life and the other guy was chastising him for it. Even going so far to imply it is going to affect his career.
Josh447
Jay, I agree and would not only say it’s his personal life but also his business life. Maybe it was a Cher “snap out of it” slap. That’s a good friend.
But gotta say that in his interviews, I don’t catch one bit of stereotypical gay gestures. If he’s covering it up he’s doing a great job. That’s why it makes me wonder if the slapper was pissed about something else. Seems the only guy that might slap him for being too gay would be his manager/agent, who had a vested interested in how CC acts at all times.
Donston
If they work hard at it or spend their lives surrounded by “masc” guys, it’s not that difficult to cover up. It’s called “code switching”. While many guys become more overtly fem or “obviously queer” after they’re out. And there are plenty of guys who come out as gay/queer/bi/“a part of the LGBT community”/fluid/whatever who obsess with defending their masculinity and showing that they’re still “real men”. There are masculine or “straight passing” benefits even when you’re out. While as I mentioned, mannerisms and gender expressions can have fluidity. And these are actors after all. If you’re gonna be young and out in Hollywood you need to either be a flaming, entertaining “queen” or a sexy, masc dude. There isn’t any other way to market yourself.
It all goes back to how so many people (especially “queer” males) get caught up in sociological validation, where they “fit in” and how to present themselves to the world. It’s both an internal and social thing.
Jeepo1
I am guessing it was either Nathan lane or Jessie Tyler Ferguson
Cam
LOL!!!!!
Maybe Mario Cantone or Richard Simmons?
Josh447
But if course! Haha
Prax07
I’m picturing Leslie Jordan slapping him and saying “Butch it up queen”.
Jim
Pot, meet kettle. And Leslie is way too sweet to ever do something like that (I know him).
TheDefiler
As Addison deWitt would say, Leslie Jordan is “too short for that gesture.”
genial
The referenced Variety article says it was a co-worker, not specifically an actor. That could mean a director, producer, writer, etc…
jayceecook
Well a director, producer, and writer are not your coworkers. The first two are technically your bosses and the third is like somebody who works in your building but on a different floor.
LumpyPillows
You really shouldn’t slap or push or kick people you are hanging out with. Not defending slapping, but, um, isn’t he making a bit much out of this?
Raphael
No.
jayceecook
Given the time frame I’d say it was likely somebody from Teen Wolf, The Leftovers, or When We Rise. While he did Hawaii 5-0 and The League around the same time they seem less likely. He should name the guy anyway.
Sister Bertha Bedderthanyu
Sorry, Charley, but if you’re going to make an accusation like this you MUST name names. This is too serious of an accusation to publicly make without doing so. What next? The maniac pulls a gun and goes postal on a set because his tea wasn’t hot enough and he blames the gays on the set? His name and this incident is what should have been outed instead of how big you like your toys and where you like to put them.
CBHaynes
Sadly gay men have always nad often will always be our worst enemies. Same with women — my mom taught me that. This kids seems real grounded. I’m proud of him — and he’s adorable and perfect the way he is.
jayceecook
I have mostly female friends. My Mom had very few female friends. When I asked her at a young age why she didn’t have a lot of female friends she said to me, “Nobody knows how to tear down a woman better than another woman.”
I think the same thing can be said about the LGBTQ community.
Jim
Charlie is beautiful in all ways. You can never be too effeminate.
AxelDC
Was it Emory?
moretruth
He has the face of a sprite. Not my cup of tea. But he was good in Boys, as was the entire cast.
jayceecook
You need to be more specific. Are you saying he looks like a lemon-lime beverage made by Coca-Cola, a two-dimensional bitmap that is integrated into a larger scene, an off road British motor bike, or a folklore being like a fairy, elf, or pixie?
amanwithanedge
he should name the person.
boymikefl
The only way for “straight” boys to get their rocks off with another guy is through socially accepted aggression like wrestling or dominating (slapping). Sad they worry about society’s rules. Now who’s the p*ssy?
barryaksarben
HE is so cute. I hope he lets his femme flag fly. I am now 65 and grew up in a very butch farm town in Iowa and while not butch was not the most femme but still got bullied. There was another guy who was very femme and he was tortured. I am attracted to gay men. People who are just themselves not PRETENDING to be butch OR femme. a little natural femme is charming to me as I have expunged any self hatred a long time ago. JUST BE YOURSELF and you will be happy in life. And if I was 30 years younger Id be stalking this guy
barryaksarben
HE doesnt need to name the guy. It could be one of thousands and who cares as obviously the person has alot of pain being that self hating. May he wake up and embrace who he is and stop worrying about others and if he is afraid of not getting work go into a different direction , maybe broadway which is not so homophobic as hollywood
Miles
Slapping someone in the face is not the butchest move in the world. Given that the action was something out of DYNASTY I think the person doing the slapping was projecting.
nm4047
sounds like a good publicists story that has been made up. Put up the name of don’t just make unsubstantiated claims.
Donston
I would be more prone to believe it’s made up if the story wasn’t so cliche. Many actors have talked about the industry’s hetero pressures, closet pressures and masc/fem pressures.
Josh447
4047 Good point.
It could very well be just that.
Donston
The interview is pretty much admitting “I’m a big ol’ queen behind the scenes”. If he was just looking for sympathy points, I think he would have come up with a different story.
Some folks go to any extent to not admit that toxic masculinity, masculine pressures, femme-phobia are actually things despite the great amount you hear about them. Stay not wanting to talk about real shit.
yaletownman
I’ve never been slapped but if anyone ever did they’d never be able to slap another person again.
Yooper
Who slaps a person? Who takes a slap without responding with greater force? Any queen who slaps a person deserves a fist, and not where she wants it.