Were you aware that gay civics classes are an evil trick of Satan designed to turn school children gay and send everyone to Hell? It’s true. Well, it’s true if you’re a cartoonist working for Chick Cartoon Tracts. Chick tracts are these freaky little comic books that reveal how the devil is behind all of homosexuality, Catholicism, Harry Potter, and certain types of Middle Eastern food. In one Chick tract, a doctor convinces his alcoholic friend to stop raping his elementary school-aged daughter because God is love, you cynical fucks. And just in case you forgot just how evil you are, let the Professor Brothers teach you all about the poo-eating, angel-humping degenerates in the town of Sodom—a place God turned into a “fucked to death pile of burning caa-caa.” See? And you were worried California’s queer history classes were gonna be boring.