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Check In To This Scary Hotel With The Sexiest Guys Of American Horror Story

For Season 5 of his television anthology of terror, Ryan Murphy books us a room at the murderous American Horror Story: Hotel.

Hotels are sexy — on the Strip, Grand, or by the hour — so this 13-part tale set in a 1930s L.A. art-deco brick pile called the Cortez is already turning us on. Add Matt Bomer and we’re calling down for a late check-out because he definitely likes to cuddle.

The Cortez begins life in 1930, built by psychotic and brunette Evan Peters to accommodate his mass-murdering habit; in the present day, Lady Gaga freshens the place up with some Arne Jacobsen egg chairs and a menu of ancient blood virus.

Along with shout-outs to Barton Fink, The Shining and those Cosmopolitan “just the right amount of wrong” ads, look for creepy blonde children, Darren Criss in a Silver Lake hipster cameo, and body-accommodating trash chutes. For serial-killing Peters, size matters. 

Look as well for more man-time in the latest installment. With muse Jessica Lange back on Broadway, Murphy makes Hotel his muskiest AHS yet.

Here’s a portrait in some exclusive portraits of the sexiest staff and guests, plus one drill-bit-dildo-wielding Addiction Demon.

American Horror Story: Hotel premieres Wednesday, October 7 at 10pm on FX.

Enjoy your stay…

1. Matt Bomer is Donovan

matt bomer

Pretty boy Bomer plays Gaga’s longtime lover, and both draw blood with some Daphne Guinness-inspired chain mail gloves. The handsome one will need his platelets when a younger and, if possible, prettier rival shows up. Kathy Bates works the front desk as Bomer’s mom.

kathy bates

2. Finn Wittrock is Tristan Duffy

finn wittrock

Hypersexual male model Tristan gets with Gaga at a Cortez fashion show. What about Matt?! Hello, blood-draining polyamory.

3. Evan Peters is James March

evan peters

Peters gets the hair to go with his noirish, mass-murdering March, modeled on H. H. Holmes AKA America’s First Serial Killer, who built a so-called Murder Castle at Chicago’s World’s Fair in 1893. Look for more serial killers like Aileen Wuornos and John Wayne Gacy at a dinner party in 2-part Halloween Devil’s Night.

4. Cheyenne Jackson is Will Drake

cheyenne jackson

You’ve already seen Jackson in one self-directed hotel production. This time, Liz Lemon’s dumb boyfriend plays a New York fashion designer looking for inspiration. Check Sarah Paulson’s room for heroin chic.

sarah paulson

5. Denis O’Hare is Liz Taylor

denis ohare

O’Hare tests your beer goggles as cross-dressing Liz Taylor, a fixture at the hotel bar.

6. Max Greenfield is Gabriel

max greenfield 3
The formerly-fat New Girl star plays a platinum blond Hollywood junkie, and apparently lost 30 more pounds for what Murphy describes as the series’ “most disturbing” scene yet.

7. Wes Bentley is Detective John Lowe

wes bentley 1Handsome Bentley moves into the Cortez on the trail of a Ten Commandments Killer. Wife Chloë Sevigny gets addled by harsh lighting.

chloe sevigny

8. The Addiction Demon

addiction demon

The Addiction Demon, first seen in an early and super-creepy teaser, has no eyes or mouth, but does wield a “nasty, conical drillbit dildo.” Call down for more batteries.