Hungry for seconds? The Bottoms Digest’s very own Alex Hall is back and here to spread the good word: BOTTOM’S STOP STARVING YOURSELVES!!
Whether you’ve been naughty or nice this year, no one should ever go hungry. In our latest conversation with Chef Alex, he reiterates just that, as well as offers tips and mouth-watering bottom-friendly recipes that are so good they’ll definitely be making this year’s naughty list.
So whether you plan to spend your holidays with friends, family, or someone else’s dad, know there are resources. Bon appétit… part two!
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QUEERTY: So, based on our last conversation, now that we know what entails a bottom-friendly meal, I wanted to ask if the same thing applies to holiday dishes.
How about we take this to the next level?
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HALL: Of course! We all have different holiday rituals and whatnot, but absolutely the same “rules” apply to holiday dishes. Some people don’t go home for the holidays and they may plan on getting freaky with their partner later or even planning a holiday hookup situation, so this is especially for them. It’s all about balancing fiber in your food before, during, and after your holiday meals, and staying away from foods you know make you gassy, bloated, and uncomfortable. That’s the secret to bottoming and still having your actual cake beforehand. No need to starve, you just need to know your body.
When I think of festive foods, a lot of sweet dishes come to mind. Since some sugars and obviously creams can be not so bottom friendly, what alternatives would you use?
Maple syrup is a great way to sweeten things without increasing the FODMAPs (pesky bloat-causing sugars) in the dish you’re making, and the cozy flavor it adds feels like holiday cheer. White sugar can be okay in moderation, but maple syrup is a great replacement for honey, agave, any kind of syrupy sweetener.
As for dairy, we are so lucky to have so many products on the shelves that replicate the real deal. My favorite plant-based milks are Ripple and NotMilk. They’re both thick enough to imitate milk and NotMilk even has a little fiber per serving. I’ve baked countless treats with both and no one ever notices the difference when I do. If a recipe calls for heavy cream, you can blend two parts plant-based milk to one part neutral-flavored oil like canola or vegetable oil and it’ll do the trick. I make a crème brûlée using this heavy cream method that’s gag worthy of the original recipe.
What are your favorite dishes and comfort foods to make around this holiday season?
Real tea: If I’m around my family for the holidays, I’m not in the mood. Sometimes you just want to let loose and live it up for the holidays and that’s 100% okay! If I’m living life, I’m not going to be bottoming, and don’t have a reason to care about bloating, then I’m a slut for all the cookies.
Growing up, my grandma made amazing Russian tea cookies (a.k.a. snowballs) and I would just sit there and double-fist them. But I also grew up in a house where we didn’t have traditional holiday meals. My mom is also an incredible cook, and some years we had tamales, and some years we had lasagna. Trust, none of it was bottom-friendly, but that wasn’t the priority.
Now that I have my own traditions and I’m not always home with my family for the holidays, I may be looking to find my way onto my husband’s naughty list. The last few years, I’ve made oven-baked “fried” catfish with collard greens and dairy-free cornbread. My family is from Louisiana, so this is legit comfort food for me and a perfect holiday treat. As a bonus, I know I have zero issues with this dish and can have raunchy sex afterwards.
Finally, what’s a favorite holiday memory of yours?
Christmas 2020. The first one during the pandemic. I couldn’t travel to my family’s home and had to stay put, so I made up my own holiday tradition with just me and my husband. I don’t think we give romance enough credit around the holidays. It’s always GO, GO, GO. It was so intimate to get to share the holiday with just one other person and do whatever we wanted to, cook whatever we wanted to cook and open each other’s presents whenever we wanted to open them.
Scroll down for some of Alex’s favorite bottom-friendly recipes to make this time of year…
(These recipes and all additional recipes can be found on thebottomsdigest.com)
Bottom-Friendly Lasanga
@bottomsdigest I’m not saying my lasagna is better than your momma’s…wait, yes I am. Something I love about developing bottom-friendly recipes is to make the dish taste as close as possible to the original, but it’s healthier than you would ever imagine. That’s where this vegan lasagna comes in. Lasagna is legit comfort food but it can be really heavy on your gut and your butt, sending you into the depths of a fiberless food coma. Well not here betch. It’s time to wake up and make this stunnin’ recipe. The star of the show here is the homemade dairy-free ricotta which is just a blend of cashews, lemon juice, nutritional yeast, salt, and water. Seriously it’s that simple. I also love to find ways to mix pasta and veggies together that disguises the veg. Every other layer of noodles is actually a layer of thinly sliced zucchini. This ups the fiber and nutrition intake in the recipe and if you’re a big portion bitch like me, you can GO IN. #lasagna #lasagnarecipe #foodie #foodporn #guthealth #ibs #ibstok #veganrecipes #veganlasagna #dairyfree #queertok #bottom #bottomingtips #foodtok #cookingvideo #pastarecipe #mealprep
Bottom-Friendly Shepards Pie
@bottomsdigest
Bottom-Friendly Crème Brûlée
@bottomsdigest We took the cream out of creme brûlée cuz this is The Bottom’s Digest, duh, and the lactose intolerant girlies need dessert too. Recipe linked above caption! NOTE: This recipe is not high in fiber but that’s not the goal with this one. This recipe’s main purpose is to dodge all the discomfort that comes with dairy loaded desserts, so make sure you get plenty of fiber in your other meals the day you plan on enjoying this one! #cremebrulee #dairyfreerecipes #dairyfreedessert #desserttiktok #foodporn #sweets #simplerecipe #guthealthtiktok #ibstok #bottomingtips #bottoming
Related: Chef Alex Hall offers expert tips and recipes for a bottom-friendly Thanksgiving
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QJ201
More like lactose intolerant vegan recipes marketed to bottoms
bachy
Stop Playing Poop Potluck with Rectum Resuscitating Recipes!
jsmu
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a f*cking NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
straightupgay
yawn
Joshooeerr
This is an entirely invented “problem” from a cynical douche (since that’s almost literally what he’s aiming to be) who is building a profile for himself (and presumably making money) out of peddling misinformation and unhealthy attitudes to both sex and food. And the briefest glimpse at some of his videos will tell you he’s also a lousy cook (if you beat mashed potato like that they’re going to be disgustingly gluey). Wake up guys; this creep does not have your best interests in mind.
jsmu
LOVE IT. A cynical, opportunistic See You Next Tuesday with zero culinary skills!
QuentieC
Except his videos talk about food positivity, and not regularly eating “bottom friendly” food too.
jonchavez2003
Lordy.
I have LONG AGO perfected what works. I gotta say it’s pretty surprising to still see these basic techniques discussed in big comment threads. Fiber? Really? I saw someone say “eat lots of salad?” What the heck?
The key is colonics, every four days. I’m clean for three days. And take Imodium to slow down the bowel pulsing. Yes, all our bodies are different. Totally. What works for me, may not for others. Fine. And I only eat one big meal a day with lite snacks any other time. But aside from the clean out window of a couple hours, I’m clean and I eat what I want. Yes I try to stay away from gassy foods but otherwise, it works. Been doing it for 20 years. No issues. No problems. No messes. No limits. 🙂 Perfectly healthy.
Ronbo
Sick of these types of stories. Maybe instead of changing your life and trying to force your needs on everyone around the holiday table…Take a shit people!
barryaksarben
I haven’t ever complained about any story on this site as many there is an audience for every article but I too am sick of these types of stories. I bottom and I top and I eat whatever the F**k I want. If you dont k now how to make sure you are clean then you should just find something else to do. You do not have to have anal. Im not against it trust me, I love it both ways but stop with making it about your entire life, diet, sleep, whatever
QuentieC
“force your needs on everyone”
Except he doesn’t say to do that.