coming clean

Chely Wright Is Sorry She Ever Tricked Men Like Brad Paisley Into Dating Her

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Chely Wright finally landed the big kahuna on her coming out tour: Oprah. Yesterday the country singer, joined by her (accepting and wonderful) father, gave the daytime queen the chance to make her cry, and audiences weren’t disappointed.

It was actually a really terrific interview, as most of Wright’s chats have been. She’s known she is gay since her teens, but yes, she was among those who would say demeaning things to other gays just so she could fit in. It was easier to choose homophobe over homosexual. How terrible.

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So why is she coming out now? For her own sanity really, but also for a noble purpose: So young kids don’t have to deal with the shame that she went through. It’s too bad, then, that “just two” other country stars have reached out to her to wish her well since she came out.

But most remarkable about this interview — besides getting the chance to hear from her father Stan, who’s been loving and accepting — and what she writes in the book, is her apology for the men she quote-unquote tricked into dating her. They include mega country stars like Brad Paisley, whom Chely dated and slept with knowing full well she could never love them.

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And you better watch this last clip, where she mentions one of her “biggest fears” about coming out: not being able to do anything with the military again. And then she “ran into about 12 military men last week, and they were all in uniform,” and they told her, “You were there for us, we’re gonna be there for you.”

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  • troy

    Saw the show. Excellent excellent interview. Oprah did a fantastic job.

  • AlwaysGay

    I’m glad Chely came out. I hope she can someday soon talk about her homosexuality with confidence and happiness. The boyfriends and anti-gay bigotry were apart of her heterosexual cover.

  • edgyguy1426

    @troy: Troy, good concise post. Why the thumbs down? I just don’t get it.

  • Jon (one of the other ones)

    Gawd. I feel terrible about dissing this woman. This is class.

  • NAP79

    Why again should I care about this starved-for-attention celebrity?

    And who is this CRAGER asshole? If that nonsense is real I’m guessing this is one of these religious idiots who visits gay websites in order to “save” all of us.

  • Whitney

    @NAP79: While he sits alone wishing someone could love him and wondering why they can’t… It’s sad really.

  • Queerty is obsessed with Jarret Barrios. ZZZ. (John from England)


    Because it’s not THAT great.

    Have you never heard of anyone coming out?

    Why is this news!?

  • Queena

    Your the one that’s going to HELL Crager. You’re just too stupid and ignorant to see that. If you only knew how ridiculous you sound. You are wasted space on this earth.

  • Jon (one of the other ones)

    @crager: this may very well be my last comment/response because a profanity filter. . .but, FUCK YOU “CRAGER”.

  • Chris

    I loved it but it’s so sugary too, it made me kind of uncomfortable at times.

  • shea

    My god, if there’s any one thing to admire about this woman, it’s how upfront she is about what she’s pulled in the past to prevent herself from being outed. I like how she just copped to it immediately when Oprah asked her if she’d ever been outwardly homophobic in an effort to prevent herself from being outed (first video clip). It takes some serious guts to just be upfront about *everything* you’ve done, and I respect her for that.

  • s_b

    @shea: Definitely. I’m really impressed with her willingness to talk about just how damaging the closet is, not just to gay people, but to the people who end up as collateral damage. (It seems like most celebrities who come out are so worried about being the-gay-actor/singer/whatever, that they don’t really want to talk about that kind of thing.)

  • whatevah

    Powerful stuff. Love the dad’s response.

  • jason

    Oh, puh-lease, give me a break. No-one forced her to have long, flowing hair. No-one forced her to wear a short dress showing off her legs. I’m not falling for this “poor Chely Wright” notion.

    The woman has all the hallmarks of an Anne Heche type. Don’t like her at all. Go away, Chely.

  • jason

    Why did Chely “trick” Brad Paisely into dating her? If she’s capable of that, she’s also capable of tricking us into thinking this is a genuine coming out story. I’m not falling for it.

    I’m basically sick of women doing this. Women are harming our GLBT cause by using their sexuality as a marketing ploy. Go away, girls.

    I can only implore the GLBT community to not allow itself to be tricked by self-promoting women.

  • shea

    Blah blah blah, my name’s Jason and I have a small you know what. Blah blah “women are evil” blah misogynistic-blah.

    You go away. I’m perfectly happy to welcome Ms. Wright as a fellow lesbian.

  • Tessie Tura

    @jason: Now that she’s a lesbian, do you expect her to dress like a bran muffin in sweats? I don’t think so. What say you about Portia de Rossi?

  • That Bitch Téa Delgado

    Totally agree with shea and s_b: watching this, I was truly overwhelmed by her soul-bearing honesty. To have someone say these things–using homophobia as a defense, using another person to hide, explaining that she’s doing this as much for young people as for herself–I actually became quite emotional, and that rarely happens to me.

  • shea

    P.S. Two men dated (and slept with) my partner through college, and she’s gayer than me (a gold star lesbian). Difference? She grew up in a religious, heteronormative environment and I was lucky not to. She actually believed she was just asexual before she figured out she was gay. Dating and sleeping with men does not mean a woman is not a lesbian.

  • jason


    When judging people, you shouldn’t allow identity to trump honesty.

    I have a real problem with women who “trick” men into dating them. I also have a real problem with these so-called “bisexual” women who go on air and say “I kissed a girl” for the purpose of getting attention or increased sales on their records.

    I also have a real problem with women who accept cash for the purpose of performing lesbian acts for the benefit of straight male voyeurs. It’s highly disrespectful to the GLBT cause.

    Frankly, I’m sick of these women, and so should you be.

  • jason

    Soul-baring honesty?????? LOL!!!!!!

    I think you might find a carefully orchestrated marketing campaign behind Chely. Soul-baring, my foot.

    Reading some of these comments on queerty makes me realize that there are still gay men and women who fall for the female victim card time and time again. Wake up to it, guys. With female entertainers, there’s almost always a marketing ploy attached to their “coming out”.

    Women tend to use their sexuality as a ploy to obtain benefits that are unrelated to sexual fulfilment. Don’t ever forget it.

  • jason

    I encourage people to give a thumbs down to my comments. It just makes readers even more curious as to the contents of my posts.

  • shea


    Huh, wha? Oh I’m sorry. I’m allergic to ignorant and misogynistic drivel…

  • Tricky

    Okay, now that I have “met” her and have decided that she is sincere and I actually like her music. Now I am impressed. And I take back everything else I said. I know, that is terrible right?

  • DK Sayfeld

    As someone who struggled with the closet and found love–and an amazing one at that? My heart was touched by this woman and her ability to articulate this struggle. If she can write music as well as she can voice her right to love and be whole? Her albums must ROCK.

  • jason

    I really don’t care what you think about me. I’m an independent thinker. I don’t belong to the collective.

    Too many of you are swayed by marketing ploys and orchestrated presentations. A lot of these events aren’t ad-libbed or random but, rather, carefully thought out and tailored prior to going to air.

    When will the stupid gays wake up to it? You’re a community that is so easily manipulated and cultivated by the powers-that-be. Just look at how you got tricked into voting for the Democrats at the last federal election.

    You truly need to wake up and stop being the useful idiots. Be especially aware of women. Women, by nature, are sellers. They sell. Therefore, they will also use their sexuality as a marketing ploy for reasons that have everything to do with money and little to do with morality or principles.

    Don’t fall for it.

  • $0.02

    Jason dear you need a hug, it’s going to be alright man.

    I did not know her before this but I do now and I’m proud of her. I’ll definitely be watching for her from here on out. This interview was well done, informative and very honest as were others. What she described was what I and many of my LGBT friends went through before we stopped running, trying to hide from and lying to ourselves and our family and friends. I’m glad Ms. Wright is one of ours, happy to say that. I don’t believe she is doing this for shock value because she can lose her career over this, rather to finally be true to herself and those surrounding her, be open and honest and I applaud her for that. She, lke others who are brave enough to do so, will lead the way for others, in and out of the “lime light” to come out, be out and be proud. Kudos to you Ms. Wright, class indeed.

  • Dennis


    “Don’t fall for it.”

    Bitch, please. The only thing that fell is you…on your head…many times, apparently…leading to unrepentent misogyny, an abundance of twisted logic, and some clear ‘female trouble’ issues in your headspace.

    Get thee to a therapist’s office, quickly. You’re embarassing your fellow gay (non-female hating) brothers with your unresolved mental issues and projections.

    Attn: Lesbian/bi/queer/gay friendly women…please disregard this moron, most of us gay men appreciate, respect, and honor you as our friends, and allies.


    @jason: Why don’t YOU go away?! You always have something bigoted, negative, or just plain ignorant to say…and judging from how your comments are usually voted down, from the looks of it, few readers here value your “input.” For all intents and purposes, you are a troll, and I wish Queerity would do something about you.

  • Queert is obsessed with Jarret Barrios. ZZZ. (John From England)

    Lol, you commenters need to get a life.

    Has she fought against the Khemer Rouge?

    Where were all you ‘Cheryl’s sooooo amazing and BRAVE’ on the Malawi thread over the two guys who’ve just been imprisoned? OR the threads about Iranian gays being killed?

    Or another gay bashing story?

    You’re all so sick and twisted. This is stupid non story. Pretty girl comes out after she’s not so famous and just in time to bring out an album.

    Uh huh.

  • jason

    John From England,

    You’re so right. There are so many dopes in the GLBT community who are suckers for some seemingly orchestrated publicity ploy enabled by everybody’s friend in times of distress, Poprah.

    This whole thing reeks of “marketing ploy”. Unfortunately, the dopes in the GLBT community think it’s some breathtaking breakthrough on a par with the moon landing. Puh-lease, Louise.

  • terrwill

    @jason: Jason, I couldn’t agree with you more! Very well said! I do wish the dopes would see this for what it truly is : a marketing ploy to revive a dead carrer. That’s all it is!

  • jason

    I am no more proud of someone who is gay than of someone who is straight. You need to look at the overall character, and not simply the narrow, although important, concept of sexual orientation.

    Look at the whole person is what I’m saying. Don’t automatically be proud of somebody simply because they say “I’m gay”.

  • terrwill

    @jason: Jason, I think you and I are the only ones who see this for what it really is : a marketing ploy, pre and simple. And the fact that our comments get such low ratings only goes to show the level of gullibility and naiveté of the people who fell for this crap. To say nothing of their stupidity! I mean, any moron can see that this is nothing more than a publicity stunt!

  • jason


    I totally agree with you. Unfortunately, our GLBT community is replete with the greatest concentration of dopes this side of the Dixie line. No wonder our naivete is exploited so frequently!!! If you want a test-tube example of gullible specimens, look no further than the GLBT community.

  • terrwill

    @jason: Exactly! Remember when it was “leaked” that it was her who was coming out? Virtually everyone here was saying a resounding “so what”! But out comes the Oprah interview, the sweet talk, the very obviously orchestrated publicity, and all of a sudden she’s put on a pedestal?? And everyone here who said previously said “so what” are now praising her? I think naiveté is actually an understatement! Manipulation galore!!

  • Joey O'H

    Wow. I am taken back by this woman’s courage and strength. Her father is amazing! And her take her relationship with Brad Paisley was handled with class and sensitivity. I’m sorry now that I doubted this woman’s motives. I have respect for her.

  • terrwill

    @Joey O’H: Another fine example of gullibility! Are you retarded?

  • joey o'h

    @terrwill: Yes, I am.

  • WTF?

    @terrwill: Of course, I’m still trying to figure out who she is.

  • Queert is obsessed with Jarret Barrios. ZZZ. (John From England)



    It’s absolutely mind bogling. Literally. I don’t know what else to say.

    It’s like how many times do you need to be kicked in the teeth? And just because a somewhat pretty mainstream FEMALE singer comes out JUST before her album, people are going gaga!

  • Queert is obsessed with Jarret Barrios. ZZZ. (John From England)

    @joey o’h:

    You seem full of heart and hope. Seriously, save it for a much better candidate that has really put themselves out there in terms of coming out and risking their careers.

  • Jeffrey

    Gotta admit that Oprah does so much to educate daytime TV viewers about LGB issues—i’m really not a fan of hers otherwise. She doesnt shy away from the topic & asks all the questions that others might think of but be afraid to ask.

    Even peoplewho didn’t know or care who Chely Wright was were able to “meet” a gay woman and hear her story –plus see her dad ‘s acceptance. She was very forthright & believable .

    If that helps a parent of a gay man or woman –or teen–to deal with their own homophobia, then O has done us a good thing. So has Chely…

    If that helps a bigger celeb to mosey out of the closet than this was a good step to having more role models for LGBs in varioius fields.

    My very traditional Latina aunt got over her own outdated beliefs on the gays partly from watching Oprah. And also from that Cuban talkshow host from Florida called “Cristina.” I’m glad that her & my other aunts watch those shows instead of listening to conservaive talk radio !!

  • drums

    I agree with certain points made by both sides of the debate in the comments so far.
    On the one hand, yes, it’s just a publicity stunt by a glitzy popstar which doesn’t actually mean much to the world in terms of politics or real life impact. She’s rich, she’s beautiful, she’s selling her products, and her father loves her, her life isn’t in danger. We should definitely remember these things and not be dazzled by her glossy PR sheen.
    On the other hand, it is a very good story, no matter how fabricated and commercialised. The country music scene is incredibly homophobic, and it’s brave of anyone to come out in it. No, it’s not going-to-jail-in-Malawi brave, but just because her situation wasn’t as bad as that doesn’t mean it wasn’t bad at all. She was at the brink of suicide, but she pulled through and now she sharing her experience. Her unique position as a celebrity allows her to share her story in ways everyday people can’t, but if we just look at her as an everyday person (which is the way her father sees her and how she sees herself, I’m sure), her story is very relateable. Someone who felt as shitty as she did when she almost killed herself might be able to see this and feel hope.

  • declanto

    The homophobic defence mechanism is real. How many of us have caused collateral damage in our struggle to come to terms with our own sexual identity? I am guilty. I’ll remain guilty. But Chely’s reason for coming out, to show younger people it’s possible, was also what pushed me out of the closet. I am humbley happy to say that some of my nieces and nephews have taken courage from my final honesty and have followed bravely. Chely Wright may be a marketing whore, but then again she could be an icon to young gays. Time will tell.

  • emily

    I didn’t even read any of your comments… The only thing I have to say is, you people need to get a life! Chely Wright has a RIGHT to be happy, man or woman! Just because she dated a cute famous guy back in the day doesn’t make her a bad person. She is a beautiful, amazing singer. There is no right or wrong answer to this situation, but you have to be a strong enough person to except everyone for who they are. Let her live her life….. We all deserve that!

  • Jonathan

    @Jon (one of the other ones):
    @Cragen – your comment is typical for one who’s already in hell. YOU. What a poor POS. You gave up your mind and compassion to condemn a person just because you don’t like gay people. Guess what? We could give a shit. Crawl back into your pathetic pew and piss off.

  • Jonathan

    My above comment wasn’t @JON(one of the other ons) It was the poor fool Cragen who thinks we’re going to “burn in Hell. Your God didn’t give you intellect, and all hatred is self-hatred. You might want to consider that.

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