SMALL BUT MIGHTY

Child Star-Turned-Sexy Go-Go Boy Blake McIver Demands Respect For All Pocket Gays

Screen shot 2014-07-21 at 9.19.00 AMBlake McIver’s resume just keeps on growing. From child star, to go-go dancer, to pop vocalist, to his latest career move: essayist/pocket gay activist.

The former Full House star has penned an article for the Huffington Post titled “The Trails and Travails of Life as a Pocket Gay.” In it, he ruminates on the struggles he’s faced as a result of his short stature. From the adjectives people use to describe him:

I truly do not understand that just because of something as simple and inconsequential as height, I’m suddenly described in an entirely different set of terms than men all of two inches above me. I hear cute, adorable, precious, and sweet. Why can’t I be handsome, attractive, rugged or heck, even pretty?

To the dangers of being in a crowded gay bar:

A person of average height walks in, surveys the territory, checks out the crowd and elbows his way to the bar to get a drink. BAM! I am now splayed out on the floor because that elbow lined up with my face and now I must pick myself up off the sticky bar floor. The only silver lining here is that I didn’t have far to fall.

But perhaps the worst offense of all, Blake writes, is being physically transported against his will. He calls it the “Pocket Gay Pickup.” He recounts an incident at Here Lounge in West Hollywood in 2012:

I was standing near the bar with a friend, enjoying a cocktail and having a gay ol’ time when suddenly I was hoisted in the air, moved six feet away from the bar, then dropped and discarded like a rotting banana peel. I’m telling you people, it happens. ‘Sir, just because I am small does not mean you have the right to pick me up and move me. Have you ever heard the phrase Excuse me?’

Ultimately, Blake, who doesn’t reveal his height in the essay, says what he wants is respect:

Drunk straight girls and drunk, tall homos, respect your pocket gays. We are people too. And in the event of an emergency we can dodge our way through a crowd to get to the exit before you even knew the building was on fire. Trust me, you’re going to want us on your side.

So there you have it, folks. Be kind to those travel-sized pocket gays. Fight the urge to pick them up or pinch their cheeks. Remember that they are people, too. Oh, and don’t forget to Blake’s new album.