Pride season is upon us! In cities across the world LGBTQ people are coming together to celebrate. Of course, one of the things we love most about Pride is the wide range of people and personalities it attracts. Freaks, geeks, queers, dykes, outcasts, hotties, snotties, heteros, you name it. Everyone is welcome at Pride! (Yes, even those ridiculous street preachers with their crazy signs… because they’re always good for a laugh!)
Scroll down for seven of the most common types of Pride goers…
The virgin
This is usually a young thing, barely 18, clad head-to-toe in rainbow gear. He’s so here and he’s so queer that he doesn’t even mind the long lines at the port-a-potty, the mediocre fried food, the shoulder-to-shoulder crowds, or the bad drag performances.
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The activist
She’s not here to sing or to dance or to act a fool in the street. She’s here to march and to chant and to carry to torch once held by previous generations of LGBTQ activists. She’s here because she knows there’s still work to be done, and she won’t stop until full equality has been achieved.
The circuit boy
He’s been drunk since yesterday. He can’t find his shirt. He just made out with his ex-boyfriend. And he’s having the time of his life. You can judge him if you want, but nothing’s gonna kill his vibe.
The PFLAG mom
She used to be a soccer mom… until her kid told her he was gay and had absolutely no interest in sports, then she joined PFLAG and has been a card-carrying member ever since. She wears her purple PFLAG shirt. She has a PFLAG bumper sticker and a PFLAG sign. She has more Pride than her gay child. And we love her for it.
The thirsty politician
Every smart politician knows the best way to court the LGBTQ vote is to march in a Pride parade. Either that or make an appearance at an HRC gala or a GLADD fundraiser. Is it calculating? Sure. But that’s the nature of the beast, so we don’t mind. Plus, we can use as many politicians in our corner as we can get.
The lost tourists
Generally speaking, this is an older couple who took a wrong turn and somehow ended up into the middle of everything. They have no idea what’s going on, they’re slightly uncomfortable, but they don’t want to appear judgmental or homophobic, so they smile awkwardly as they frantically search for a coffee shop to duck into.
The antigay street preacher
This is the Bible-thumping hate monger who believes all queers are headed straight to Hell… yet somehow he still never seems to miss a gay event.
Did we forget anyone? Add more types of Pride goers in the comments…
Sapphireone
Don’t forget the “straight allies” – you know, the Herero couples who come to “show their support” and because “it’s cool” but who spend the entire parade physically wrapped around and clinging to each other for dear life just so that there’s no “confusion” about their orientation.
jorgecruz
Don’t be too hard on our straight allies that aren’t 100% comfortable at every gay event. They still support us and without these gay allies we never would’ve gotten the right to get married.
ChrisK
Tweaked but not drunk. Circuit boys don’t drink unless it’s laced with GHB.
jorgecruz
What about the normal every day gay person that enjoys these events, doesn’t do drugs and isn’t there to protest or perform on a stage? Most gay people just go about their lives like everyone else and that is what the rest of America needs to see, not the bad drag and the god hates fags signs.
asby
The messy drunk gaggle of straight girls…The tunnel and bridge folk…
asby
The day drag folk…That shouldn’t even do night drag……The super butch suburban Lesbian folk…The Queens who think underwear is an outfit….The dumb folk who bring their dogs…..The people who bring their babies
Terrycloth
I marched in the late 70”s NYC…I was embrassed with the display of guys in chaps with their assses showing ..bumping grinding pretend giving blowjobs…no wonder we got such a bad name..one guy was dressed as a penis…please wear a t shirt and jeans and march..there are children looking along the parade root..have PRIDE..it’s not a circus I vowed never to march again..and havent
Bob LaBlah
Good thing you weren’t at the Pride parade of 2005. A guy walked in the parade with an American flag sticking out of his rear end and smarted off with every other parade watcher when he was booed and hissed. Nearly everyone who witnessed it thought that was bad taste but clearly there are no dress standards for gay pride parades in the big cities. They really do need to take a look at just how they are coming off to other gay people. Many lesbians are turned off to this bare buns business regardless of how round and bubbly a few of them are.