A sexologist in Winter Park, FL says he could “literally work 24 hours a day, seven days a week” because of all the people cheating on their significant others thanks to websites like Craigslist and Ashley Madison.
Related: Antigay GOP Leader Outed For Having Ashley Madison Account, Says It Was For “Research”
“The volume is that great,” Michael Rothenberg, sexologist and owner of onlinesexualaddiction.com, tells the Orlando Sentinel. “It’s becoming easier and easier to find a sexual partner.”
Rothenberg says many of the patients he works with are closeted married men who use the internet to find other guys to hook up with on the DL.
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“I’ve had closeted gay men go on there,” he says. “Some people are on there because they’re curious, or curious to see if there are people on there that they know.”
Considering that a recent survey found 78 percent of Americans identify as heterosexual, but only 4 percent of that 78 percent said they were “100 percent heterosexual,” this doesn’t totally surprise us.
Related: Men Confess To Blackmailing Married Man Looking For Gay Sex On Grindr
Relationship counselor Tim Tedders agrees that these days it’s much easier than ever for married men, closeted or not, to locate hanky panky on the side.
“Way before technology, to have an affair it meant that you had to get into a car, go somewhere and hopefully you wouldn’t run into someone who knew you,” he says. “And now, it’s just waiting to be apart from your spouse and getting on your smartphone and going online and hooking up with someone.”
Rothenberg says he doesn’t believe the issue will be going away anytime soon.
“There’s a sense of everybody is doing this, so it legitimizes it,” he says, “and I don’t see signs of it lessening. I think it’s going to get worse.”
Worse? We suppose that depends on who you’re asking.
Related: Five “Straight” Guys Who Have Grindr To Thank For Accidentally Coming Out
h/t: Sioux City Journal
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diesel
I think you read that data wrong – 78% identify as a zero or completely heterosexual on the Kinsey Scale (4% said they were a one, or slightly bisexual but mostly heterosexual). Still it leaves 22% who don’t identify as completely heterosexual (which is still probably low) and therefore plenty of people to experiment.
Daniel Bujes
They also keep me working. #rentboy #lol #zing #jk
orrine
Sexual addiction?
There’s no sex addiction or food addiction. You can’t be addicted to the things you can’t live without. You can’t stop eating food or having sex. So you can’t ‘cure’ from it.
Patrick Crawford
I bet
Atomicrob
Oh, if I only had time to tell the stories of my encounters with closeted gay married men who adopt a rather thin veneer of heterosexuality to assist them in their career endeavors and “social standing” . . . it’s a definite syndrome.
Bisexual-Transwoman
Why does this site obsess over closeted gay married men?
David G. Abler
Joe
Windsor519
@diesel:
LOL no there’s not. For one thing, these experiments and surveys are looking at the LGBT community as a whole – not just gay men who fit our attractions and are within our age group and within a 20 minute drive. For the vast majority of gay men there’s hardly anyone out there. It doesn’t help that gay men are usually not attracted to other gay men – at all – ever.
I remember everyone jumping up and down celebrating when gay marriage was declared legal in all states. It hasn’t ended that way. We forget that being able to get married to each other won’t erase the fact that hardly any of us has any experience in a serious, gay long term relationship and that most of us won’t see a marriage happen personally in our lifetimes. We don’t even know how to talk to each other! We aren’t even interested in each other! How are we going to get married when the 3% that’s out there for us either we don’t want him or he doesn’t want us; or the relationship last anywhere from 6 weeks to 6 months.
NoCagada
@Bisexual-Transwoman: Because there are SO MANY OF THEM!
Arnold Stollar
Not funny
Brian
These are not closeted gay men. They are men who have desires for the woman they are married to as well as other men. Men have desires – deal with it. They are highly sexual creatures. Deal with it.
The idea that these are actually gay men suffering in a closet is not true. They are products of women’s rejection of homosexuality in men who are also attracted to women.
Bisexual-Transwoman
@Brian: Yeah men can be gay, married to women, and DL/closeted. A guy I grew up with his dad is gay and he married my friend’s mom and came out later in life after he had kids and they had gotten divorced.
onthemark
Bisexual, closeted, married (to women) guys are BORING! I don’t get why Queerty is so fascinated with them. But in case any of you normal, single gay guys aren’t aware, the eternally reliable giveaway clues are:
(1) “Sorry, I can’t host.”
(2) The invariably, annoyingly misspelled word “discrete.” (Which should be spelled “DISCREET” in this context. Does heterosexual marriage somehow have a negative impact on grammar?)
onthemark
@Windsor519: Speak for yourself. You seem awfully sure that YOUR personal experience applies to “the vast majority of gay men.” How do you know that? Especially since – by your own admission – you hardly even talk to gay guys. Read this site (just for instance) for a month, and count how many guys posting here have had a much different personal experience than you. There are lots of l/t relationships and even married guys represented here.
Personally I think that most gay guys don’t really start looking for a *serious* relationship until their 30s (or even later), and that’s totally normal and there’s nothing wrong with that, but that’s just my personal observation.
Karl Van B
Lol
Daggerman
…to be truthful here I don’t believe there’s anything surprising about all this. For example, how many men are shagging other men then go home to their wives?? Urm? Quite a few actually. I mean–really…
Sansacro
@orrine: cute, but actually that’s not true. If obsessive sexual activities or thoughts get in the way of one’s life–i.e., harm relationships, work, health, etc.–it’s sexual addition. It’s not about quantity but unmanageable impact on one’s well being.
bottom250
and those men are keeping me busy.