“In 10 years, there were maybe 25 days I didn’t drink. I remember when I started, it was a couple glasses of wine, and it regressed into really dark times. I used to blame it on my anxiety or depression issues, but really the root of all my problems was the alcohol and drugs.
I came out and, in a way, my downward spiral started. I felt extremely free but at the same time the amount of attention I was getting was making me spin out of control. I got married and that didn’t work out. That was extremely public and heart-breaking, and right when that was going on, my mom died.
At that point I fell apart. My brain broke. I was doing a massive comedy for a studio, showed up to work and got fired on the first day. They said I looked as if I had ‘dead in my eyes’, and I did. I got so heavily involved with drugs and alcohol to mask the amount of pain I was feeling that I couldn’t even make some decisions for myself. I was drowning in my own sh*t.
I ended up having two seizures. I didn’t know any of this was happening until I was sober enough to remember it.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
If anyone else had told me to get help I would be like ‘F*ck you!’. I had to make that decision on my own. I was ready to stop running from my own problems.
Once I went to treatment, I found this amazing amount of true love for myself, and started figuring out who I am without those vices, and recognizing the people in my life who lifted me up instead of tearing me down.
I’m always going to be in recovery. There are so many people struggling out there, but not a lot of them talk about it. Life is much more beautiful than I could have imagined. It’s just a different life now.
It’s the best gift I’ve ever been given.”— Actor Colton Haynes speaking to Attitude
Daggerman
..doesn’t he know complaining about having a hard life is what we need to hear??…just because he’s gay and OK looking why does Queerty tell us this???.. Get your shit together man and tell me something different…yes….
Vince
It’s the Colton version of a hard life. Imagine the horror of knowing no one knew who were, cared, or shudder the thought were just average in looks. It’s enough to send anyone off the deep end. This story needs to be sent to lifetime tv or somethin.
Johnne87
if you dont care dont read it, no need to be hateful, also why call out on looks when you dont post urs? hmmm
AnthonyS23
Try learning to write in complete, cogent sentences before commenting.
D_Bro
The whole point here is that he did get his shit together (or is working on it). Maybe if you read it without your self-righteous glasses on you would have seen that.
charles_bell
This is a gay website and he’s one of the more successful out actors in his age group. Why would Queerty not cover this?
fresnoman4man
In my younger days I had various relationships with people with alcohol and drug dependencies. At some point it dawned on me that I was drawn into such relationships as their fixer. All they needed was love to cure their indemic pain. Simultaneously I needed to feel loved to cure my indemic pain. It’s called codependency. I think public confession can be a good thing for both the speaker and those who are the audience. The message is worth hearing even for those who feign to be offended by the speaker’s sincerity.
NCSilverBear
@fresnoman4man Great observation. Wherever one finds an alcoholic/drug addict or anyone who is addicted to (name your substance/behavior), there will be a codependent(s). One cannot live without the other. Recovery is for both.
Vince
Oh so maybe that explains his obnoxious need for attention.
RExxx59A
You mean like almost every other actor, actress, singer, performer, director, producer, game show host, talk show host, untalented reality show family member, athlete, political candidate, elected official, need I continue?
Brian
What exactly makes that “incredibly candid” as opposed to just another Hollywood person telling the same cliche story we’ve heard a million times?
And didn’t he just split up with his husband less than a year ago? As far as addiction stories go, this one is pretty weak. He’s no Amy Winehouse.
djmcgamester
I think they were married about 5 minutes. Could be his addiction problems were part of the problem. Hard to say. Still, his problems in that area don’t need to be put out there like he made some major accomplishment. He stopped, and that’s awesome, but it doesn’t need to be made into a press release.
Jim
I so admire him for facing his demons and beating them. An amazing story and an amazing man.
RExxx59A
Thanks Jim for your positive support. Addicted is addicted. Recovery is recovery. Both are different for everybody. Anybody who is trying deserves credit. Even the person that’s been in and out of rehab 20 times! They just haven’t gotten it yet. They shouldn’t be vilified by anyone.
Nateman
I rarely comment on the malicious, mean spirited, bitter queens who think that shitting all over other people is a fun thing to do from the anonymity of their keyboard, but this…this takes the cake.
I work with people who struggle with addiction- it is incredibly difficult, and the fallout is devastating for addicts and their families. For this young man, who many young men, especially gay men, look up to to be so honest and open about both his addiction and the consequences of it is brave. And it gives those who may see him as a role model an inspiration, especially if they are suffering from addiction.
How about you guys stop being so nasty and acknowledge that just because someone is good looking and/or famous, it does not mean that they are not human. And that maybe by sharing their struggles, they could help others along the way? Sheesh.
Apolodorus
I’m with you on this. The bitterness in these comments is like a slap in the face.
I believe more and more these days that the internet brings out the worst in people.
Donston
I think you can admit both things and admit both things without being an a-hole. He is definitely a rather narcissistic man who feeds off of attention. However, mental struggles and/or addictions often connect to those types of instincts. I do hope he gets to a place of peace.
aussie bloke
Hear hear.
iamru2
But it’s ok for you to vent your hate towards others? So much hypocrisy in society today!
Juanjo
I see the same Negative Nancys are out in force today. These creeps [assuming they are not all or mostly sock puppets run by one troll] apparent had the traumatic experience of someone pissing in their corn flakes back when they were 5-years old and never recovered. Ever since then, they have spent most of their life pissing one anyone and everyone. Their obsession with Colton Haynes has been ongoing for some time. If his name appears anywhere, they flock to post negative comments.
The man has his own demons, including a mother who had a serious alcohol problem [and died of cirrhosis of the liver 9 years ago, has issues with severe anxiety for which he has been treated and of course, substance abuse. God help us all that a minor celebrity who happens to be handsome and have some talent should speak out in public in an interview concerning what has happened to him and what he is doing to deal with it. This has traumatized certain individuals to an extreme extent and we should start a gofundme campaign to give these tired queens a safe space where they need not ever be remotely tempted to click on an article concerning someone younger, better looking, and more talented than they are. It is simply too disturbing for them.
Chrisk
@iamru2) Ironically it’s the ones who are always hurling the bitter Queen insults at everyone that I’ve found to fit the definition the most.
Chrisk
@Juanjo. Oh please. I’d say you know allot about getting your cornflakes pissed on. It’s your whole commenting history. Pot calls the kettle black. 🙂 Lol
Tim212
I was just about to reply the same. Apparently, in order to post on Queerty, you have to hate your life so much that you would blast Colton for speaking his truth and sharing what was obviously a very difficult time. Every story on here has the same nasty replies… Don’t you people have something better to do than comment on why you hate everyone that Queerty posts about? Honestly, girl, bye.
Donston
It is funny how so many gays are quick to use terms like “queen” and “fag” as insults.
I do see Colton as a sympathetic figure, and yes, he has “demons”. But it does seem as if he is constantly in victim mode when he’s not is publicity seeking mode. The vitriol towards him is completely unnecessary.
AnthonyS23
Yep, 100% agree. Thank you for being a voice of reason and maturity.
jstone765299
Beautifully said, Nateman! I support Colton and am so proud of his honesty about his journey. I believe him sharing his story is going to change lives for so many, the lives of people who need help but are afraid to admit it to themselves and other. Much love to Colton!
Diplomat-G
@Imaru2
Where exactly did Nateman spew hate at others? Are you seriously going to tell us that Nateman telling some people here to be more empathetic and less judgemental is in your mind hateful?
NCSilverBear
Right. I also am a therapist who treats people suffering from addictions and particularly people who are also mentally ill. I can say that in my experience. it’s particularly difficult for GLBT people to find long term recovery. I think it has to do with a lot of variables not found in “straight” society. Not the least of which is peer support. We seem to exhibit such negativity toward each other. Not only has it been difficult to come out, it seems doubly difficult to remain in the “gay community” while doing so. We like so much to feed on our own kind.
iamru2
So his life was difficult because he was getting too much attention?
DCguy
Says the account that regularly defends bigots and people who physically attack LGBT people.
So lets see, somebody talking about a personal issue enrages you, but LGBT people being harmed is fine.
Ok, got it.
Chrisk
So let me get this straight. Anyone who questions Colton from now on is a bitter Queen. Okie doke. Lol
RExxx59A
In case you didn’t know it; anyone who is in recovery deserves respect and support. Fellow alcoholics and members of AA WANT YOU TO SUCCEED-NOT FAIL. Sounds like you and many others think all of this is one big joke. Death, Institutions, or jail are often the ending place for many. He deserves support and respect. Doesn’t matter if he’s a “STAR” or your brother. Either one could live out of a dumpster. Stick a banana in that hole of yours and find some compassion.
RExxx59A
I have to assume you know nothing about addiction and recovery. Forget that we are talking about Colton Haynes. What if it was your mother, or your sister, or your boy/girlfriend, or how about YOU? Recovery is a guided personal journey. No two are the same and MANY don’t make it. IT AIN’T EASY dude, so how about cutting people some slack. I hope you never have to go through what many millions of people are doing right this minute.
Chrisk
Nope I’ve experienced it myself and it had plenty of friends that did as well. Colton is a attention-seeking narcissist. I think people have the right to comment on that as well.
RExxx59A
Show me where it says you have to be sober for 2 or 3 years to “earn your ticket.” Screw you! 24 hours is amazing!! Anybody who shares their story of being to hell and trying to come back deserves their time and space. Do you go to AA meetings? Tell me how many times your eyes have rolled back listening to the same person for the 10th time. Get off your high horse dude! Congrats on whatever sobriety you have! Things can change. I’ve seen people with 30 years of sobriety go back out. CONGRATULATIONS COLTON-ONE DAY AT A TIME MY FRIEND.
Bunnco
Facing alcoholism and drug addiction is incredibly hard.
I hope he can stick with recovery.
sfhairy
And we care about this because…?
RExxx59A
Because ANYBODY who is trying to recover is quite possibly in the biggest challenge and fight of their lives. If they lose-they may well end up dead. Addiction does not have an on/off switch. Such well know people in the “entertainment/??????” business have more pressure because everybody wants to know everything they have done since their mother pushed them out. A friend of mine often uses the following quote “If you can’t/won’t help another alcoholic, DON’T hurt them.” If you can’t offer any support to someone who needs it, don’t make it worse for them.
sfhairy
And once again, we care because? He can go to AA or NA or SA just like everyone else. He doesn’t need to blast it on his social media channels.
AnthonyS23
It accomplishes a lot, actually. It helps people who are quietly struggling on their own to realize that they can get help, and that a better life is achievable. It helps to destigmatize an issue which destroys a lot of lives–especially the lives of people who’d prefer to sweep things under the rug, and especially people in the LGBT community who are disproportionately affected by addiction. Often, the culture of privacy/silence leads to a culture of quiet death. This can be avoided, and I see nothing negative about a person sharing their personal experience with a wider audience.
Johnne87
Whats with all the shitty comments? You were not forced to read this, I don’t recall anyone asking what you think of his looks or his story. Just cause yalls life didn’t work out the way ya hoped dose not give you a right to be nasty! get over your self.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
This site has become a cesspool of toxicity. There are so many loser trolls here it’s insane.
He has a disease and is being open and honest about it. If you can’t respect him for trying to stay sober take your freaking comments elsewhere. There are thousands of right-wing nutbag sites that welcome your venom ..
CobraPowers
“There are so many loser trolls here it’s insane” – Yes, you are at the top of the list.
Diplomat-G
@ plays well with others,
It’s interesting that Cobra self-identified as a troll and a rightwing nut bag without you having to say his name, LOL.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
COBRA: My last message to you. I was at the forefront of Gay rights. Marched for the Gay rights bill in NYC, participated in ACT UP protests when our community was experiencing carnage and we were dying by the thousands. You are a vile little pig troll who doesn’t deserve the right to spew hatred towards members of the Gay community …
This was once a peaceful, enjoyable online community. Find somewhere else to spew your toxicity. just remember Karma is a bitch, and Gay Karma is one nasty bicth. Beware…
DIPLOMAT: 1000%CO SIGN
Juanjo
what are his qualifications? What do you know YOU about the process and what qualifications do you have to judge what he has done or what he might do? What do you know about the various issues involved in substance abuse? Or the recovery process? Does everyone respond to severe trauma in their life by becoming a drug or alcohol abuser? No, but what has that got to do with anything? You trying to blame the addict for some moral failing? As for your comment about him waiting 3 months or so before saying anything, once again, that just shows your complete lack of understanding.
Thad
If Colton Haynes needs to post a recovery story every day to keep from addiction and deal with depression, I’m all for it. And if someone less famous needs to do the same, I approve. We’re here for each other.
RExxx59A
Nice Thad. I don’t know of any alcoholic/addict, especially someone who is involved in AA/NA wants someone else to fail. What kind of miserable human being wishes that someone fail at recovery? Because all of the attention isn’t on them about something like when they ate their last apple?
I’m all over this site right now-BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE. So if anyone wants a fight, BRING IT ON! (Namaste!)
Brian
The reason you’re seeing so many cynical posts is because we fully expect this revelation to be followed up by an Instagram butt pic of him naked on a snow covered mountain that says #missingmom #serenityprayer #onedayatatime.
If there is a gay slang dictionary, his picture surely appears next to the word “basic”. He just oozes insincerity and I’m inclined to think his addiction was about as serious as his marriage, which was not about a husband, it was about an Instagay partner.
jimontp
Shame on you. It is one thing to read your constantly bitchy comments, but totally beyond understanding how you can get in such a snide, inhumane and disgusting #missingmom reference to Colton’s dead mother. Have you no shame at all? Why aren’t you banned from this site? Divine would have shoved dog sh-t in your disgusting mouth.
iamru2
@jim sorry but you sound really hateful and cruel, I’ve read many of his posts and I don’t believe I’ve ever read one where he viciously attack’s someone here like you did to him!
RExxx59A
I can only imagine what “oozes” out of something like you!
Brian
Eh, that’s par for the course here. Both the complete missing of my point, and being 100 times nastier to me than I’ve ever been to anybody here, while telling me how horrible I am. Somehow it’s always justified for them to say things like “Divine would have shoved dog sh-t in your disgusting mouth”, and they never, ever, ever see the irony.
Also Jimontp, people exploit their dead relatives for attention on social media ALL THE TIME. Anyone who has Facebook must see a few posts a week. I just found one from yesterday on my feed – (3 broken heart emojis) Today and every day… (image that says) “Mama, I miss your voice, I miss your smile, I miss how much you loved me, I’m missing you today so much”. This is for her mother that died 8 years ago. But sure, I’m the monster for suggesting that this guy would do such a thing. He certainly wouldn’t have done it on Instagram on June 30, 2018.
If anyone listens to the You’re Making It Worse podcast, they talk about basically this very thing on the latest episode. Only in the example they use, it’s trans rights instead of dead mom. and instead of Queerty obsession Colton Haynes it’s former Queerty obsession Max Emerson.
But sure, I’m the monster for acknowledging that it’s a thing. Maybe Divine should also tar and feather me after she convicts me of assholism.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Jimontp: UNBELIEVABLE PERFECT SMASHDOWN
Chrisk
@jimontp. Yes you would know anything about bitchy comments jimbo. Lol There’s ways to make your point without your resorting to your nasty attack.
djmcgamester
Oh, yeah? Says who. 2 or 3 years mean nothing. None of the time means anything in the end because people with decades still end up drinking or drugging. Philip Seymour Hoffman was clean and sober for a long time but still ended up dead of an overdose.
If a person is present and sober they’re qualified to discuss their experience. I do agree that it doesn’t need to be so public. Nothing good comes of it, especially if they relapse.
Mack
At least he has accepted he has a problem. That’s more than most of you can do. You probably sit here and drink yourself to a stupor every night while denying you have a problem. I wish him much success, as there will be some failures along the way. But he has to be strong enough to pick himself back up and move forward. Take this from someone who has had a drug, alcohol, and gambling problem but I fixed myself the hard way.
Brian
You really think we’re all raging alcoholics?
DCguy
Don’t try to get the rest of us to carry all your baggage.
fpcinnyc
I just can’t imagine why so many people need to be so cruel. It’s mind boggling. We do not need to cannibalize each other.
RExxx59A
That is the only way they can build themselves up.
derek mcgillicuddy
He seems like a nice boy. What I do not understand is the animus directed toward him b/c he is talking about his struggles during his life. Do people mention his looks b/c of envy? Often, a troll tells more about himself than his barely cogent screeds. Here is a suggestion: before you write your calumny and insults, ask yourself would you say these things if he were standing in front of you? I doubt it — the internet is a toxic refuge for the coward (e.g. President Trump’s twitter account).
CobraPowers
A coward wouldn’t be able to withstand constant attacks from crazy conspiracy theorists like you, pink kitty hat.
Diplomat-G
@Cobra,
You would be correct, Cadet Bone Spurs trump is a coward, thin-skinned con artist. Did you have another truth bomb?
Billy Budd
Come on people, come on. Step down from your pedestals of perfection and ADMIT that we are all humans and imperfect. It is called the HUMAN CONDITION. We all have demons to fece and overcome. Poor Colton is cute and is struggling. It is nice that he is so honest about what he went through.
Apolodorus
I found my behaviour transformed when I go online in debates like this. I become a thoroughly vicious person. I think the majority of us do. And we are seeing it here.
Brian
I’d love to hear what all these pearl clutchers have said about the Kardashians, Octomom, Trump, Tom Cruise, Mama June etc. I’m not sure why Colton Haynes should be held in reverence on a gossip site. This is the kind of conversation these types of sites produce.
Queerty isn’t the Advocate, it’s Star Magazine. There’s no journalism here, their stories are designed to lure us in with exaggerated headlines, read a few paragraphs in a minute, then keep coming back to generate clicks while we are arguing. Just because it’s gay doesn’t make it noble. If you’re here you are perpetuating it. If you think you’re above it, you’re in the wrong place.
RExxx59A
Because people like you will always jump on the “kick-em while their down” bandwagon. Regardless of the type of site you claim this is-the issue of alcoholism and drug addiction are REAL. I’ve been to damn many wakes and funerals in the past several years. The subject WHEREVER it appears, keeps it fresh in peoples minds. It reminds them that there is help out there if they want it. The catty remark about Colton Haynes is being held in “reverence” is a comment I would expect from a real douche. I think you qualify.
Brian
We’re all douches in here dear. I think you qualify with the holier than thou, I’M THE EXPERT AND I WON’T LET YOU FORGET IT posts (lectures) you’re flooding this story with.
However, my mom died last year after an extended illness. JUST LIKE COLTON’S. So I think on the relatablity scale to this article, I win. Also? I didn’t use her death as an excuse to indulge my worst instincts. I dealt with it like a grownup. Because you know what? 100% of mothers die. It’s definitely sad when it happens to our own mothers, but it’s certainly not special. It’s just part of life.
Apolodorus
Sorry you went through a hard time Bryan.
I hope you are feeling better. But different people deal with things differently. I commend you for your resilience. You might say that he is attention seeking. I would that he is using his platform for good. There will. be people watching who will be inspired to seek help. And that has to be good :-).
CobraPowers
I hope he’s doing better, but some of us remember him from the MySpace days, and he was ALWAYS messy, into drinking and meth. I do hope he finds himself, finds Jesus and leaves all that garbage behind.
curiobi
CobraPowers. Finds Jesus. Are you joking? You think the hypocrisy and abuse of organised religion, especially towards gay people is what this man needs! No sir. Stop trolling.
CobraPowers
@curiobi – Having a personal relationship with Jesus/God has nothing to do with organized religion. I’m not talking about religion. If you think a life of vapid hedonism is preferable to a personal relationship with God, you’re not a troll, you’re Satan’s little helper. And if you were any dumber I’d have to water you twice a day.
Chrisk
@CobraPowers. The only evil is in your religious Looney head. Troll.
CobraPowers
@Chrisk – Except people like you are less likely to have a moral compass. Have several seats.
Bourgeois Pig
Wow! To those who post such hatred, thank you all for your deep concern. I hope you get more support in your time of need. I guess you would be happy for him if he wound up a completely broken individual, over a much longer period of time, on the verge of death before he sought help???
Understand that addiction is a symptom of a much larger problem. As an alcoholic who had arrested his disease, I know exactly what he is going through. Looks or education are irrelevant in regards to addiction. I volunteer facilitating a workshop on addiction recovery and I’ve seen what it does to people’s lives and their families (mine included). People can also be born with a predisposition to alcoholism. Unless you suffer from this disease you don’t understand the hold it has over your life. Self will has absolutely nothing to do with it. It is a disease that can kill. Alcohol consumption can and does cause seizure as well, I’ve suffered seven trips to the hospital as a result of them.
I’m so happy that he didn’t lose 8-10 years of his life as a result of it and is now seeking the help he needs. And those who may possibly be on that path, look for similarities and not the differences. His story might just be what you needed to make a change.
To those who can’t be anything but spiteful, does his story hit a bit too close to home? We tend to resent those who mirror qualities back that we dislike in ourselves. You spot it you got it!!!
RExxx59A
Spot on! Recovery is simple, but it sure as hell ain’t easy. I too have my own story. MY OWN STORY. Fortunately, I am not under the microscope like Colton is at the moment. He’s got a tough road and I really hope there are people around him that care and want to help him; and are not just trying to get in his pants. One day at a time. Best wishes.
RExxx59A
That doesn’t even cover it!! He probably runs some of those sex parties. And sorry dude, addictions have been classified as a disease. Just because they don’t meet your narrow definition of “disease”, doesn’t mean it’s not true. You probably don’t consider many mental health issues as diseases either, do you? No because, pompous, self-righteous narcissists like yourself are perfect. Since you will never get anything that isn’t “a socially acceptable disease”, you can waltz around town spreading your seed(s) of hate like so many others. You should send a job application to the White House. They love people just like YOU.
Desy
I’m sorry for whoever hurt some of you. But grief and trauma are relative to the individual. You don’t get to tell someone that their pain is not valid or falls below your self-appointed level of empathy. People talking about their struggles with addiction is good PERIODT
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
HEYWOOD: Please stop talking about something you obviously know NOTHING about:
“Many people don’t understand why or how other people become addicted to drugs. They may mistakenly think that those who use drugs lack moral principles or willpower and that they could stop their drug use simply by choosing to. In reality, drug addiction is a complex disease, and quitting usually takes more than good intentions or a strong will. Drugs change the brain in ways that make quitting hard, even for those who want to. Fortunately, researchers know more than ever about how drugs affect the brain and have found treatments that can help people recover from drug addiction and lead productive lives.”
DCguy
When you have the exact date down where it’s ok to talk please send those instructions to him. I’m sure he can’t wait to hear from you.
DCguy
Never been a huge fan of him, always thought he had a bad case of what Myrtle Snow would call “The Me Me Meeees”.
That said, some of that behavior was most likely do to his addictions and I’m glad he is feeling better and working on those issues.
For those wondering why there was so much animosity, you have to understand, at the same time LGBT blogs were ignoring literally every other LGBT actor out there, we would get 10 posts a week about Haynes, some obviously staged photo with he and his husband that was supposedly candid, etc… It’s backlash from feeling like his P.R. folks were paying to have him forced upon us.