MARRIAGE NEWS WATCH

Come on, Hawaii, Quit Foolin’ Around

This could be the week that we win marriage in Hawaii! Or it could be the week that we listen to thousands of weirdos drone on and on and on at a microphone while bored legislators try not to get caught playing solitaire on their phones.

Hawaii’s Senate gave a big thumbs-up to marriage equality last month, and now it’s on to the House for a vote. But first, we have to go through a public comment process, and anyone who’s ever watchedĀ Parks & Recreation knows what that’s like.

And adding to the suspense: Hawaii is apparently very civic-minded, because there are thousands of people who want to have a say. That means everything grinds to a halt while people line up to babble into a microphone at a bunch of legislators who have already made up their minds. Fortunately, they only get two minutes apiece, but we could still be here for days. So, fix yourself a stiff drink and don’t make any immediate plans, is what we’re trying to say.