What is it like to hook-up with your roommate? Basically, it’s all the feels.
Vice wanted to know what the realities of look like when you, as they put it, “swapping spit with the same people with whom you split the cable bill,” so they found people who had tried it and asked them to report their experience.
Since, as they point out, more young people are living with others due to a more difficult financial landscape than that of their parents’ generation, they had no trouble finding individuals who had made the transition from roommates to roommates with benefits, including two members of the LGBT community. Below we highlight those stories.
Notably, they were the only two who had overall happy experiences to share.
At 19 Heath moved from Kentucky to Portland and used the gay hookup app Scruff to meet people. One of those people ended up being Chris, a man 26 years older than Heath.
When we first hooked up, I wasn’t experienced, so we just made out and went slow. At the time, he was partnered to a guy named Lance, and the three of us messed around together. Then they told me, “This home is your home too.”
Eventually, Lance left him, and I ended up moving in with Chris. I’ve been living in his house in a separate room for almost five years. We don’t have sex anymore—we stopped three years ago. But we have a lot in common.
I’m transgender and transitioned freshman year of high school. I faced hardcore bullying. My hair was set on fire. I was punched in front of teachers who did nothing. Death threats galore. I needed a safe space, and Chris provided one. Chris just got married less than three months ago, and we’re all looking for a house with a basement I can live in. He still wants me in his life. I grew up with a single mother, so he’s like the dad I never had.
Heath is working on getting a bachelor’s and has started dating, this time more with an eye toward a peer with which to grow old.
Scott also took to a gay dating app, in his case Grindr, to connect with others. He met someone and they hooked up. Scott wanted to date the man, but he wasn’t interested. Instead, Scott ended up with a new friend and roommate for six months after he learned that his new acquaintance needed a place to stay.
Once he moved in, we agreed the fooling around had to end.
He was from Pakistan, and he cooked delicious meals almost every day, which was certainly nice for me. After dinner, I would make us a pot of English tea, and we’d watch his Pakistani soap operas on YouTube. I couldn’t understand a word, but I knew exactly what was going on. Then I would give him a foot massage, and he’d be off to bed. In some ways, we were like a married couple, without the sex. It was a sweet, nice relationship, but without sexual tension or any stress.
On the whole, I really enjoyed it, and I miss him today. Once he moved away, I went back to living alone. It was one of those rare, special experiences that occasionally come along in life. I gained a lovely friend—we still stay in touch and have warm memories of our time together.