Coming Soon: Phallus-Shaped “Dickties” For Every Occasion

Are you tired of wearing the same old tie every day? Well, have we got news for you! A Kickstarter campaign has been launched to promote the Dicktie, a new phallus-shaped brand of designer neckties.

Made from 100 percent high-quality silk and available in three different colors, the Dicktie makes a bold yet subtle fashion statement. The ties are available in pink, black, and patterned, and should hit the market later this year.

These handmade ties promise “a raw sex appeal and representation of ascendancy to win you success in the bedroom and the boardroom.” Seriously, we can’t wait to order one in every color.

Check out the Dicktie promo video below. 

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  • Tackle

    I was thinking this was a gag gift, but I see that they are serious about this being a common fashion accessory. One would have to be very careful where they wear this.

  • TerrenM

    I’ve read many STUPID, worthless articles on Queerty; however….

  • blondeboyz

    I doubt you will find these at Wally World

  • hyhybt

    It would go well with those pants Queerty showed pictures of a few years ago that had a fabric one hanging off the front.

  • specialbottom

    This product reminds me of the “pet rock.” Worthless. The Dicktie is one of the most stupid products ever. It doesn’t even look good. I wouldn’t be caught dead with such a tie. I predict that the company will go bankrupt in two months. I can only see somebody buying this tie as a wise-ass joke gift.

  • hephaestion

    Unfortunately they are very ugly.

    Silly, bad idea. I hope they didn’t make too many of these.

  • Blackceo

    This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen in my life

  • hyhybt

    Targeting the overlap between “situations dressy enough to wear a tie” and “situations where references to bodily functions and/or genitals” is going to be tough…

  • hyhybt

    ^should include the words “are ok” before “is going to be tough.

  • hyhybt

    This tie should at least come with instructions, and enough extra length, to make a balls-shaped knot.

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