Congress To Mull More ‘Mo Rights

While New Jersey Catholics are trying to pray the gay away, more liberal-minded citizens are hoping Congress will finally make some head way for the gays. Three major bills are on the docket, all of which will significantly change the face of American politics.

One of these bills, of course, hopes to overthrow the military’s discriminatory “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. That measure will be introduced on Wednesday. Further down the line, politicians will battle it out over the Employment Non-Discrimination Act and a new hate-crime law that will protect gays nationwide from homophobic violence. While gay rights activists have applauded these moves, people on the right aren’t so cheerty. Of ENDA, Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins laughably commented:

I’m sure there’s probably a case here and there. But I’ve seen more discrimination of people of religious faith than I’ve seen of gay people in the work force.

Oh yeah? We’d like to see those figures.

As for the proposed hate crime laws, Perkins mused: “It’s taking us to the point where anyone who opposes the sexual behavior of homosexuals will be silenced”. We don’t mean to picky (okay, yes we do), but offering someone protection from violence hardly constitutes a violation of free speech. You can say whatever the fuck you want. Just no hitting. Sticks and stones and all that…

It’s unclear whether the bills will pass, although many believe the Democrat majority will help things on their way. Even if they do make it past lawmakers, President Bush has the power to knock them down. Will he use his executive power for good or evil? We’re not holding our breath…