BIEBER FEVER

Convicted Murderer/Belieber Planned To Kill And Castrate Justin Bieber

Dana Martin’s Bieber Fever got a hold of him and just wouldn’t let go.

The 45-year-old is serving 978 years in jail for the rape and murder of a 15-year-old girl in 2000, but that didn’t stop him from orchestrating an elaborate plot to kill and castrate Justin Bieber.

At the Southern New Mexico Corrections Facility, Martin recruited fellow inmate Mark Staake who in turn recruited his nephew, Tanner Ruane, to perform a series of murders, culminating in the killing and castration of the 18-year-old pop sensation and his bodyguard.

Staake, who was released in October after serving time for burglary, set off for Vermont on November 14 with Ruane to murder two unnamed victims. They were then to head down to New York to catch the Bieber between his November 28 and 29 concerts at Madison Square Garden.

Martin, according to a signed affidavit, wanted Ruane to castrate the Bieber and his bodyguard with Fiskars “Durasharp” gardening clippers, offering to pay him $2,500 for each testicle. Martin, being a sentimentalist (he has a tattoo of the Bieber on his leg) also wanted his victims strangled with his signature — a paisley necktie.

In the affidavit he refers to the murders as “the whole putting down of the ‘dogs.'”

But all dogs would be left standing after the murderous duo missed a highway exit in Vermont near the border crossing into Canada and got stopped by a border patrol agent. Though they apparently didn’t make much of the pruning shears in the back, Staake was arrested on outstanding warrants. Ruane was released only to be picked up by New York State Police after officials eavesdropped on his phone call with Martin in which they made reference to the murder plots.

When prison authorities confronted Martin, he provided them with a detailed plan and a hand-drawn map of Ruane and Staake’s travels. The three each now stand accused of two counts of conspiracy to commit murder and two counts of conspiracy to commit aggravated battery.

As for the Bieber, teenage girls and middle-aged men the world over breath a sigh of relief that nary a hair was harmed on his mop-topped head. His reps  responded to the murder/castration plot (which has been oddly popular this year) with a simple statement to  ABC News that theytake every precaution to protect and ensure the safety of Justin and his fans.”

(h/t: D-Listed)