Could Phil Robertson Be The Advocate’s Next Man Of The Year?

Phil_RobertsonYou can already predict the scenario for the coming year. Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson reappears on A&E. To placate everyone Robertson insulted with his remarks in the GQ interview, A&E makes sure that Robertson is shown in warm family situations, talking about how he doesn’t have a problem with any of God’s creatures (except ducks). As a topper, Robertson appears in a carefully scripted PSA in which he talks about how different people can have different views, but we all respect one another. (He won’t mention the bestiality link in the PSA.)

Which makes Robertson the perfect choice for The Advocate’s next Man of the Year!

Having set the bar so low this year by honoring Pope Francis for his kind words, the magazine has vastly expanded the pool from which to draw future honorees. Under the new standard, Robertson’s predictable rehabilitation would make him an ideal candidate for the next year-end honor.

But why stop there? There’s a vast array of options to choose from under the new standard. Here are some possible candidates.

Paul Ryan. In 2013, the GOP Congressman and failed VP candidate showed just how progressive he is by proclaiming his comfort with gay adoption. Maybe ENDA will follow. Based on that timeline, his embrace of marriage equality can’t be more than 20 years away.

Peter Thiel. The PayPal founder and multimillionaire gay, so that would be a change. And just because he happened to provide the money that enabled Ted Cruz’s ascent and empowered the GOP shutdown caucus doesn’t mean we should penalize him.

Cardinal Timothy Dolan. True, his boss won the honor this time out, but imagine the setback to homophobia if the New York Archbishop just kept his trap shut.

Rand Paul. So what if the Kentucky Senator and presumed GOP presidential candidate thinks that marriage equality means you can now marry animals. As a libertarian, he’s so opposed to any government intervention that he’ll allow that as well.

If the list of people isn’t long enough, The Advocate can honor whole institutions. How about the Mormon Church for not pumping millions of dollars into stopping marriage equality the way it did in California? Or the Boy Scouts for allowing gay troop members, even if it still bans gay troop leaders? I mean, half a loaf is better than none, right?

Really, the possibilities are endless. We really look forward to seeing what The Advocate can produce in 2014. We know it will be hard to top.

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  • the other Greg

    Good ones! How about if Rev. Phelps has a stroke tonight and can’t talk or tweet for the entire year of 2014, that ought to qualify him for Advocate Man of the Year too.

  • Kieran

    I’m not a big fan of the Advocate or Time magazine and personally could care less who they choose as “Man of the Year” but I do think they both got it right on this one.

    When the head of the largest Christian church in the world (the Pope) says publicly, “Who am I to judge gay people?” and to state that some in the church are too obsessed with homosexuality rather than opposing poverty, wars, oppression and econmoic injustice….that person deserves to be honored.

  • AuntieChrist

    @Kieran: That is just one small comment by the pope. His stance on marriage equality has not changed nor does he advocate same sex couples adopting children….Despite his July comments, the pope has a long history of being against gay rights. He has come out strongly opposed to same-sex marriage and called it “a destructive attack” on God’s plan.

  • Cam

    Maybe they could nominate Maggie Gallagher for saying that maybe she might bake some gay person a cake sometime.

  • bmwblonde

    @ Kieran: Being the “head of the largest Christian church in the world” only means he’s the current leader of one of the most evil and utterly hypocritical institution in Western history: The Inquisition, condemning science (see: Galileo ~ oh right they fixed that), stupendous persecution of other religions (see The Crusades), utterly crass, venal and disgusting internal Italian-macho politics masquerading as “religion,” a thorough-going HATRED of women and the feminine (see the Immaculate Conception and Virgin Birth — both CRAY CRAY), plus being a HUGE contributor to the world’s possibly-terminal over-population.
    I.e., the “biggest” Christian church is also the most hellishly EVIL one. So Kieran, either you’re brainwashed, ignorant or just stupidly young. Good luck with your “tolerance” for the Catholic Cult Freaks and their new PR tap-dancer.

  • dougmc92

    Francis as Time’s pick- fine, no problem…as the Advocate’s- nope, epic fail.

  • Merv

    @Kieran: Why should someone be honored for appearing to reach the same conclusion that all thinking people reached years ago? Is it kind of like praising a mentally challenged thirty year old for learning to tie his shoes? While it may be a relatively positive development, it doesn’t deserve the covers of magazines.

  • bmwblonde

    Merv ~ Right on. That’s like “praising” the nut-house Catholics for finally “forgiving” Galileo, whose life they turned into living hell for “upsetting them” with the idea that the Earth orbits the sun. These people are CRAZY. Putting lots of CRAZY people together, all with the same insane beliefs just makes them the equivalent of an insane asylum, in which all the inmates — being crazy the same way — believe they are not only “sane,” but also “superior” to everyone else. And this is supposed to be “spirituality.” Happy New Year everyone!

  • Wilberforce

    The pope’s comment was about queers in the church, of which there are tons. So it was basically a pr move to legitimize his employees.
    All of the oppressive doctrine aimed at the rest of us is still firmly in place.

  • balehead

    If gays are going to acknowledge stupid and stupid people..they deserve all the fall out they get….

  • jimbryant

    The Advocate is laughable. It seems to have been taken over by the celebrity-promoting set, sort of like Perez Hilton’s site.

    Any site which promotes celebrities at the expense of ordinary gay men’s rights is NOT a friend of the gay community.

  • RomanHans

    Actually, I’m a big fan of Phil Robertson now. All these Christians came out of the closet to defend him, saying he was a hero, a beacon of traditional values, a role model. And then the next day we find out he’s anti-woman and anti-Asian and anti-Muslim and the Christians have all gone verrrry quiet again. What was that, 250,000 people who signed the petition to reinstate Duck Dynasty? It sounded either like “Never mind!” or “Boy, we look really stupid now!”

  • Derek Williams

    His comments equating gays with zoophiles, saying blacks were better off as slaves and that girls should be married at age 15 aren’t ‘religious freedom’, they’re outright redneck bigotry and A+E should have stuck by their original decision to let him go.

    By reversing their decision, they’ve caved in to mob rule and effectively declared that gays are zoophiles after all, blacks were really better off as slaves and that pedophile marriages are the way forward.

    What is most shocking is that these views are wholeheartedly supported by their American audiences. Just when I thought we were turning the corner into enlightenment, we discover massive mainstream support for opposite sex pedophilia, racism and homophobic vilification.

    It is the right of A+E or any company to terminate a contract if the person with whom they hold that contract holds and publicly expresses opinions that are in direct conflict with their LGBT, Gender and Racial Equality policy.

    At first we were given to believe that A+E were horrified by his equating gay people with someone who has sex with animals, alongside his claim that African Americans were far better off as slaves, but now they’ve changed their mind, and support his making these statements on their watch after all.

    One can only presume therefore, that these policies of A+E have been torn up. Money and the Tyranny of the Majority are impossible to resist for all but the most conscientious.

  • Mike

    He told men to marry 15 year old girls, but only if they can cook, and the ones who can clean the ducks are even better. He’s a redneck white trash pedophile!

  • jbakid

    I’m actually glat that A&E is not firing him. I think that the only thing worse than dumb people talking shit about gay people is dumb people talking shit about gay people being taken seriously.

  • Vartan X.

    Haha.. Queerty failed miserably at attacking the Advocate. Pope Francis, being a leader of an inherently homophobic institution, actually said something encouraging and might have a change at influencing the church’s stance on homosexuality. In contrast, the Puck Dynasty, or whatever the hell the name of that show is, didn’t say anything positive. Fail, Queerty. Boo!

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