Canadians Adam Grant and Shayne Curran were happily married when they decided to get a divorce.
The couple first met in Nova Scotia six years ago and were legally wed in 2011. A year after saying “I do,” they met Sebastian Tran at nightclub while searching for someone to join them in an innocent threeway.
“We never intended it to be anything serious,” Adam tells the Daily Mail. “We were certainly never planning on taking on a full-time third partner. It was just bit of sexual experimentation.”
Related: Sister Wives Family Cite Gay Marriage Ruling In Polygamy Case
But after brining Sebastian home, Adam and Shayne quickly realized he was more than just another notch on the bedpost.
“The three of us sat out in our back garden together, talking for hours about our lives, ambitions and dreams,” Adam recalls. “Sebastian was different to anyone we had ever met. There was something about him that Shayne and I couldn’t explain, but it was like meeting our life partner for the second time.”
Sebastian was equally as surprised by how well the three of them got along.
“At the time, I didn’t think I was ready to commit to anyone, so it was a surprise when I fell for both Adam and Shayne,” he says. “I didn’t think I wanted one boyfriend let alone two!”
As a result, Adam and Shayne decided to legally dissolve their marriage so the three of them could make a commitment to each other as a trio.
“We didn’t want Sebastian to be excluded or feel like the third wheel in our relationship,” Adam explains. “So Shayne and I decided to get a divorce so that we could make a renewed commitment between the three of us instead.”
“We’re the happiest we’ve ever been,” Shayne adds. “All our dynamics and personalities work so well in a relationship. The three of us bring out the best in each other.”
Now, the guys say they want to start a family.
“We definitely see kids in our future,” Sebastian says, “and we have a plan on how we’re going to make that happen.”
Related: If You’re For Consenting Adults’ Committed Relationships, Do You Support Polygamy?
“I have two sisters who have both offered to carry our children for us as surrogates and are willing to donate their eggs as well,” Shayne explains. “My sisters actually argue over which one them will carry our baby first. I feel very lucky! Meanwhile Sebastian’s sister will probably donate her eggs, too, so we can keep it in the family.”
He continues: “We want to mix our genes enough so that our kids are as genetically close to us as possible. But we are open to adoption, too. Children are a huge part of our future plans.”
As for people who may want to criticize their relationship or who feel it’s counter-productive to the fight for LGBTQ rights, they trio says they really don’t care.
“Love is love,” Adam explains. “It should be multiplied not divided. It shouldn’t matter if you’re in a three-way or a four-way relationship.”
What do you think? Is Adam, Shayne and Sebastian’s story counter-productive to LGBTQ rights? Vote in the poll below.
Grant Mealey
As long as it’s working for them…..all that matters ð???
Daniel Salmeron
More power to them
Ken VanArsdale
poo
charlie_jackpot
They got married before it was cool and this is the next hipster step
Cam
Another year, another “Throuple” story from Queerty.
Ian Reeve
If this doesn’t legitimize gay marriage, I don’t know what will. You should see the things straight people get divorced over.
Stephen Meeks
Works for me
Craig Houghton
Are these people important or something? I’m only asking because I really don’t understand the purpose of the story if they aren’t.
alphacentauri
@Cam: Indeed; but these types of “relationships” are not healthy and do not last. Just ask the multitude of people who have been in one.
Charles Sherwood Morrill
It goes to show why straight people have been fighting against gay marriage.
Wil Cohen
I don’t understand why they would need to get divorced to include a third… I know of at least one married couple that has a third.
J.T.
Weird, just weird all around.
Taskebab
Oh look! Seems like the Republicans were right that homosexuality leads to polygamy…
redcarpet30
3 way relationships, if thats your thing, go for it. Can’t say I’ve seen many examples of it lasting though. I’ve seen people do it more for cool points than authenticity.
I never thought of kids as part of a 3 way relationship. Can’t say i’m not weirded out by the idea.
Glücklich
The community property section in their pre-thrup must’ve been a nightmare to hash out.
Seriously though, as someone in an open marriage, I can’t imagine wanting to add an ostensibly permanent maintenance issue to my husband’s and my situation, let alone complicating it with kids.
No no, we’ve never been into sharing like that.
Avery Alvarez
Well, it’s not for me, but they’re all adults seemingly involved under their own volition, so if it works for them, then have at it.
Shanestud
Seems these recently divorced guys really know all about commitment. So now they are no longer two but three where they will all be loved equally and there will be no jealousies or power plays. Let’s revisit them next year with their two surrogate kids and see how it’s working for them.
J Stephen Lafayette
Fucking perpetuating the stereotype that “NOTHING IS EVER FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH” for the LGBT community
Adam Boulton
Vomit
Jeremy Coburn
If it’s one thing that we should lean from our recent huge win with marriage equality is that we should not have to live our lives according to the beliefs and ideals of others. If they are happy, not hurting or affecting anyone else than good for them. It’s about ones own happiness and fulfillment. I don’t understand why anyone would hate on them unless maybe they are a bit jealous because they themselves may not be desirable for even one guy?
DCFarmboy
I don’t believe a word of it.
lauraspencer
Adam and Shayne couldn’t have been very happy together if they felt the need to not only look for a third as a play thing but then to invite him in permanently. What happens when they get bored with just 3 of them? Do u take in a 4th? Where does it stop.
As for plural marriage in the Mormon faith at least they have “regligion” to fall back on as a reason for multiple spouses. Not sure what is driving these guys other than boredom.
Steven Best
hahaha! good luck guys – you must really know yourselves well. I look forward to seeing how this turns out – *hint* the guy in the back gets voted off the island.
Rogelio Lopez
This almost never works out. Good luck!
notevenwrong
@lauraspencer, there may be reasons other than boredom, but even if that was the reason, what is wrong with changing your life to avoid boredom?
Rodney Fletcher
I can’t think of a better way to live life. I’ve known men before in 3 and 4 way relationships and they are just as happy as couples.
Being in a long-term, open relationship myself, I will agree, it takes work, just like any relationship, but, IT IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE to make happen.
Brian
Three ridiculous queens who need to get a life. Oh, and they’re from Canada. Kind of explains everything. The land that gave us Bryan Adams and Justin Bieber…sheesh.
Arcamenel
If everyone is fine with it more power to them.
Gerald GeeLocke Panuthos
idiots. smfh.
Marshall R. Krug
so much for fidelity
Glücklich
@Brian:
What land or planet saw fit to curse us by exiling you?
DarkZephyr
Why do we have to hear about it? Do we get a news report every time a regular gay man off the street gets just ONE boyfriend? If we don’t care about that then why are we supposed to care about this?
Gerard Sikora
Triads work
Baba Booey Fafa Fooey
Why is this news other than to show Americans this is what happens with gay marriage. Are those three even real people or just plants for agenda?
Raddy McNeelster
to each their own, so good luck with it LOL but…i still have to say….UGH. That’s all.
pjm1
The thing about group relationships is that the law has
no real way to deal with them. I suppose they could enter into
some complex contracts about property rights etc., but, there would
be no tax advantages. The legal issues with parental rights could
be a mountain. Perhaps it all works out well. But what if it doesn’t and
there are kids involved. Custody? Child support? etc. etc. hmmm, wish them
well and it may all work out . . . but once kids get involved there are going
to be some serious legal issues to work out.
Fred Alan Wolf III
It’s all wrong and selfish in so many ways…..AND I’m a very liberal person !!
Jorge Albertto
Oh come on you know gay is not the issues here. The problem is man,
And sone man are just pigs.
Alex Hawkey
I don’t know why it’s anyone else’s business but their own. It’s hardly news. And the fact that it’s the Daily Mail who’ve published it…honestly that terrible site are only after ‘shocking’ stories to generate clickbait. It wouldn’t be my preference, but good luck to them.
Scott Redner
Typical gay sluts, wanting to keep there cake, eat it too and have sex with the people that made the cake…
Chris Hilton
Jacob Walker Tyler Wallace
Danny Ray
You got to be kidding me?
Glenn Cheatham
IDIOTS!!! That sure feeds the bigots that are trying so hard to prevent Our People from being able to marry!!!!
Jack Kear
historically bad decision
DutchGay
Weird but then – who am I to judge. The 3 of them are happy and that’s what matters. It’s unusual and probably unique but if it works for them then why not.
DutchGay
@Glücklich: Canada as he said 🙂
Cagnazzo82
Reading this story is like driving past a car crash. I prefer to keep on going and not slowing down to look at the mess 🙂
Daniel-Reader
Two tops get married then divorced so they can share a bottom. Not very original. Straight people do stranger things.
Ruhlmann
@Brian: Says the man from the country that gave the world the Kardashians, the Tea Party, fucked up religion, Vietnam, Iraq, Guantanamo Bay and so on and so on….
Ruhlmann
If they’re adults fine but don’t bring kids into this mess. That would be a step too far.
Steve Villasenor
That’s their business, we all want other people to mind their own business, so don’t worry about it with your opinion . Let people live their own lives the way they want to. BITCHES !!!!
Jason Frost
I just can’t see this type of story helping our cause here in Australia.
scotty
Mr Tran is exceptionally beautiful. they all look nice and happy. stay happy guys, we (most of us) wish you the best.
Hussain-TheCanadian
This resembles a polygamous marriage; I personally don’t see anything wrong with it as long as they all agree to the terms, and truly love each other – I imagine they do since the initial two men got a divorce. The issue with polygamous household is the jealousy issue.
Also, when it comes to taxes and benefits, how is this going to work? In Canada, we have “Common Law” laws, but it only applies to two people.
It’ll be interesting to follow.
Edgar Marroquin
Personally I don’t understand it, I don’t agree with it, and I would never be in that situation. That said, I doesn’t concern me and they can do whatever they like.
ric
I’m sorry. But if my man even suggested a three some. I’m gone. And it would bring into question his love for me. If I married you than you are the one i love not someone else.
Jim Philbrick
Ok….yuck
Chris Etter
Don’t care. Their relationship has no effect on me. Why should I care.
I thought this is what we fought for. If it doesn’t affect you, butt out.
Billy Budd
I dont see anything wrong in what theyre doing.
Tom McEntee
Oh, come on Queerty. Good looks, hot bods and young. Sell, sell, sell.
Phillip Mayes
My problem is that with more and more and more 3way and open relationships it’s more the norm and if ur wanting manogomy it’s harder to find. Why would someone wana be manogamous when they can say they love whoever and fuk everyone else on the side.
Will Moor
“Love should be multiplied”. Don’t tell the rest of us what we SHOULD do, assholes.
@ric: I’m with you. Hell to the no. “
ric
Yo. Where in my comment do you see me telling anyone what to do? Reread it again. Or do you have a problem comprehending what you read. And stop calling yourself an asshole. Because i know you weren’t calling me one.
Anders Spegel
Such a sweet couple !
M J Martinez Crogan
The sanctity of marriage
Amaurys Arias
Ridiculous.. Gay men, sometimes..so this two were sick of each other.. They are in there late 20’s ..Let see how long this stupid patch last… is all fun and games now, would love to be there when the reality of this actually hits them…gay men can be so capricious silly and unthinking.
Giorgio Alexander
Charlie Tao
sportsguy1983
To each his own but they make mockery of marriage and are an embarrassment
enlightenone
@Steve Villasenor: “BITCHES !!!!”
Really? If it is their “business” we would NOT have heard their GETTING A PET story rather than purchasing sex toys. You moron!
Carl Menefee
Idiots!!
Aunduh Estémated
By you guys reporting this you’re helping to support the already skewed views against homosexuals. They aren’t the first or last couple to do this. Triads work, and can be great, but they don’t need to be waived around in public
amaurys
Ridiculous… So they got sick and tire of each other. Late 20’s …Let’s see how long this last… Gay men sometimes can be so capricious, silly and unthinking.. Can wait to see how this blows up in this twink faces
amaurys
Ridiculous… So they got sick and tire of each other. Late 20’s …Let’s see how long this last… Gay men sometimes can be so capricious, silly and unthinking.. Can wait to see how this blows up.
B Stallone
If that is what you want to do, ok but do NOT bring children into the situation. If one gets tired of the situation, who gets the kids? Trifle with your own lives, but not those of innocent children. You are being way shallow if you bring children into the equation.
Allie Pocket
thirst always causes divorce–more money or dick.
Carter McCallister
ð??ð?»ð??ð?»ð??ð?»
Martin Ramage
See this is what pisses me off about marriage! There’s no “real love” or commitment! It’s all about communication and working through problems, ma parents like lots of other couples have been married for 55yrs but these days it’s like a throw away commodity! A believe people should be together for at least 5 yrs before they’re “allowed” to get married! X
seaguy
@Craig Houghton: It is not an everyday occurrence and is likely the first such time this has happened in Canada or the USA so that makes it newsworthy.
seaguy
@B Stallone: @B Stallone: I agree. If things sour down the road the kids will be in the middle of a possible three way battle for custody and that is not fair to them. If anything they should foster or adopt first.
seaguy
@Wil Cohen: They want each party in the relationship to be equals with one another in the eyes of the law. It would also be adultery in the eyes of the law if they remained married and had a three person relationship.
imperator
That’s pretty much how it happened with my partners and I– two of us were a couple for ~9 years before we met our other dumdum one night through our roommate/friend; talking led to joking flirting, led to not-joking flirting, and we invited him to fool around with us sometime, and once he started coming over almost every weekend feelings developed and after a year we had a talk and all agreed out loud that he’d become part of our relationship- just as loved, just as valued- and we’ve been a trio for the last ~3 years. No marriage, no plans for kids, but it works for us, we’re happy, and if as adults we should have the liberty to form a relationship between two of us, why the hell shouldn’t we have the liberty to form one with three.
seaguy
@Brian: And is also the #1 trading partner and a reliable ally for the USA. You must be a Trump supporter the way you talk about Canada.
o.codone
why’d they have to get divorced? That’s an undue burden. let’s litigate so gay’s can marry as many people simultaneously as they want to. equal protection. if one person can do it once then i can do it twice or three times. who are they (the state) to say i can’t? and, let’s not overlook that i love my dog and i really love my horse. i fact i really love both my horses. i really do. stay out of my personal choices or i’ll go back to the supreme court.
BigG
@B Stallone: oh shut up
BigG
Good for the rice queens! It Wouldn’t work for me, but more power to them. Love is love
Josh447
No doubt the haters in here are loser republican porn addicts with little dicks. Just a bit of frustration projectile at these awesome lovers.
Fabulous is s fabulous does. This relationship is fabulous. Bring polygamy people. We are free spirits, get used to it. I can’t find one reason polygamy is constitutionally illegal. It had to be jealous right wing Christian bigots, like the haters on here.
You go guys, and have a fabulous life! And lots of kids!!!
youarekiddingme
@o.codone:
You are truly a right-wing religious, republican lunatic! Your bullshit “marrying animals” analogy was the same shit that was brought up by the right-wing relgious nuts during the SCOTUS arguments. Wtf would possess you to make such fucked up statements in a forum like this? You are seriously deranged!
Do you have anymore derisive comments to make against the LGBTQ Community you unbalanced sociopath?
Kangol
HOT!
And this was what gay liberation was all about, NOT about mimicking straight heteronormativity!
I hope they have a long happy life together, with a few friends joining in now and then.
jorgecruz
I have known quite a few couples that have decided to have sexual relationships in threeways etc. The only one that I know that is still together is the one that went through an extremely difficult time and figured out that they had to eliminate that from their relationship to have true trust. I just don’t see how you don’t have any jealousy. i do know some straight guys that are going to try this one on their wives, but I don’t think women are dumb enough to fall for it.
alphacentauri
@Glenn Cheatham: Well said. If they wanted 3 ways why did they get a divorce and then publically anounce that they’re inviting some 3rd random guy in?
@jorgecruz: Exactly. I even know people who were not in a 3 way but their partner had a live in lover/another partner move in, and of course it did not work out or last and fighting/jealousy happened. It’s this way with pretty much anyone of any sexual orientation/gender.
Seann Skelding
Who cares? Honestly. Is this really worthy of an article? I just unfollowed you because of this.
alphacentauri
@Kangol: Yes that is true but a lot of men who were into the whole “have ‘relationships’ with 3 people, and sleep with as many men as you can” died of AIDS or are now walking Petri dishes of HIV and other STDs.
Kevin Wotipka
Is this why we pushed for marriage rights? Is it really so easy to throw away?
Ives Meagher
How queer, Mormons?
DonW
@alphacentauri: “a lot of men who were into the whole “have ‘relationships’ with 3 people, and sleep with as many men as you can” died of AIDS or are now walking Petri dishes and other STDs.”
What makes you assume these guys are sleeping with as many men as they can? If they are only sexual with each other, and hence at zero risk of STDs, does that make or OK with you?
enlightenone
@DonW: “…If they are only sexual with each other,”
The article SAYS they do threesomes w/strangers, this guy happen to be their most recent toy that turned out to be a their pet worthy of a divorce!
Phillip Mayes
How can u really say u love someone and show the intimacy of romantic intimate love if you’re spending your time trying to find someone else to have sex with? Who wants to have a partner that says I love you and adore you but spends thier time trying to find someone else? Show of hands??
Montey Dunn
Ridiculous. Why’d they get married in the first place? We fought for the right to marry but we treat it like a matter of convenience. Sure, they aren’t hurting anyone else except all of us who get caught in the stereotype this is creates that men can’t have a lasting monogamous relationship and unselfish love. There is as much proof that we can as there is that we can’t so make your own damn destiny. Without rules there is only chaos.
Cobalt Blue
They need to be taught that civilized people don’t live this way. Sad and disgusting.
martinbakman
Well their marriage lasted longer than some of the Kardashians.
Now that threesome, that’s gonna last, at least until Davey Wavey or someone like that comes along and they decide to try an innocent 4 some.
alphacentauri
@DonW: If that’s the case more power to them; but I have yet to meet anyone that’s in a 3 or 4 person ‘relationship’ who did not cheat or break the rules so they could sleep with whoever they wanted to. I know very few people who are in open relationships where one or both people have not cheated on each other.
Chad Dexter
Id invite them all into my bedroom- yow!!!
jerkinns
It’s a ticking timebomb (cliché I know). Eventually one of them will say something to the 2nd about the third, then the 2nd to the 3rd about the 1st, etc which will destroy their relationship. It’s not a matter of if, but when.
Chuck Veit
Why are you allowing the words of a proven catfish bait hoax story get gays panties in a knot…i dont think anyone here is ever gonna be happy unless they are bickering or stirring a pot of drama…we all as a community need to grow up and not care about this crap.. So there are gonna be queens who will perpetuate a stereotype of what straight America thinks is the “Gay life”… Its been like this for decades before marriage equality… It will continue into the future.. It doesnt mean equality in marriage goes away.. Cant lose it… We need to stop fear mongering and beating each other up.. This is what kills our community.. Not the straight ideological beliefs… If that was the case the SCOTUS wouldn’t have come to their conclusion…stop letting Queerty get you so wound up.. Dayum …. #ByeFelicia
o.codone
@youarekiddingme: no more derisive comments for now, no. but if you could be my horsie for a night that might make me forget about my dog. haahahaaah.
Cam
The third, otherwise known as “The temporary break-up delayer.”
Cody Daigle-Orians
Heterosexuals have ordered their relationships (including their marriages) in nonmonogamous arrangements for a very long time. This isn’t some gay invention in marriage.
So all of you in this thread who are calling these guys sluts and considering them shameful to our community: what you’re really doing is aligning yourself with the people who have policed all bodies throughout our history, gay or otherwise. The people who have fought to limit the autonomy that all of have over our bodies and our relationships. And honestly you’re the ones who should be ashamed of yourselves.
Our equality movement has been about having choices to live and love as you want to. If this isn’t your choice, don’t be an asshole about it.
SportGuy
These are the types of people who should not be allowed to get married ever again legally! Gay or straight,idiots.
David Rogers
Yuck.
Ogre Magi
@Jason Frost: Just make sure no one in Australia finds out about it
Bobby French
Damn. When is 3nder going to finish their Android app so I can find the perfect couple for me?
onthemark
They sound like a religious CULT in the making! Next they find a gold tablet in their backyard with mysterious messages from God on it. Then they can start the CHURCH OF CUM.
Also, I wonder what kind of jobs they all have so they can so blithely discuss spending hundreds of thousand of dollars on surrogacy and all that b.s.
celuur
Most of the comments here are utterly gross. How many damn Mary Whitehouses does the gay community need? Apparently a whole bunch. A nasty lot of assumptions and any of you who identify as LGBT should think about why you’d like to help actual homophobes – who still exist in power – tear us down. Just like equal marriage didn’t force heterosexuals into getting gay married, a throuple/triad doesn’t force you into having a third or forth in your relationship. And whoever equated, once again, a consensual relationship between adults to bestiality, well, Rush Limbaugh called, he wants his metaphors back.
Full disclosure: I am in one of these relationships. Not one of the Canadian guys, though I wouldn’t mind looking like any of them :p. Have been for over a year now, it’s pretty much the same as a two-partner relationship with a lot more laundry. I didn’t think it would be for me at first, worked out fine. Doesn’t mean it will for everyone. Stop clutching your pearls.
onthemark
@celuur: And the difference is… YOU are not bragging about it in the news.
Glücklich
@celuur:
Congratulations. I hope your arrangement continues to work out for all of you.
Of the three I prefer the middle guy. Looks like Dan Stevens. Hubba hubba.
Cam
@celuur:
Oh stop clutching your pearls and get over yourself. Here is an idea, if you want to prove that these relationships work, then shut up and make it work.
If Queerty was EVER able to revisit one of these “Throuples” a few years later and have them still be together maybe people wouldn’t constantly roll their eyes every time one of these articles are posted where the three guys always pretend to have discovered something so new, unique and evolved.
It’s old news, the only thing new are the names every time one of these stories are posted. These guys want to do it? Fine, but thinking that it is interesting enough to give interviews about it? (Yawn).
celuur
@Cam: I’d give an interview about it if I got paid enough to clear my debts..
I don’t have to prove that it works, it’s working. In this part of the country there’s quite a few as well (also not giving interviews, mostly AARP members mind). The first one I read on Queerty was the one in Thailand, then Sweden, now this one, all in the last year-ish. It’s a bit soon to be demanding follow-ups, but you’re right. It will be interesting five years from now to track it.
youarekiddingme
@o.codone: So shallow you had to use the same word I use huh “derisive”…You are indeed a pathetic creature. Crawl back under your rock. Stop comparing gay relationships to “beastiiality”, you warped, demented [email protected]!
scotshot
@charlie_jackpot:
They’re Canadian and same sex marriage has been legal there since 2005.
But hey, thanks for the ignorant comment. We needed the laugh.
David Hough
Dirk Scheepers when one isn’t enough anymore ð???
Kangol
@alphacentauri: Your comments suggest that you are a deeply sex-negative hom0phobe.
You do realize that the vast majority of people today who have open relationships do not have STDs or die of AIDs, right? You do realize that there are things called CONDOMS, right? And dental dams, right? And now PrEP? Etc.
Try not project your fears about gay sexual pleasure onto others. Life is too short, and perhaps as you get older your fear of gay sexual pleasure will change and you’ll be able to enjoy some. Or maybe, as your comment indicates, you’ll remain as unhappy and sex-negative as many heteros and hom0phobes.
BRYANinSF
Something like this happened to my one-and-only ex and me back in the ’80s, long before anybody realized marriage was a possibility.
We had opened up our relationship of 10 years with the understanding that neither of us would play separately. It was adventurous and interesting and a lot of fun meeting other guys for 3-ways…but then it got kind of complicated. We met a very handsome man who, to everyone’s surprise, slowly started moving in.
I should have seen it coming, but I was the odd man out. I wasn’t that taken with the new guy, and the day arrived when he and I had an argument and he moved back to his place and, shortly after, my partner joined him.
I have this theory that there are nine possible relationships when three men get physically and emotionally involved. I wish the guys in the article the best, but, too often, love doesn’t last forever.
Cam
@celuur: said…..””I don’t have to prove that it works, it’s working……..but you’re right. It will be interesting five years from now to track it.””
Here is an article from Queerty about 5 or 6 years ago, this “Throuple” was so sure that they had discovered the next evolution in relationships they even made a film about it. They’ve all split up, and I believe one is a porn star now, so there’s that. So there is the follow up you wanted.
http://www.queerty.com/is-this-throuple-destined-for-happiness-or-is-a-3-way-relationship-doomed-20090916
Creig Stearne
Thanks for mocking every thing we have fought for. You want to have 3 ways, fine. You want casual sex, fine, you want to swing from the chandler, fine. What you do is no ones business, have fun. But this sorry you are no better then those straight nutters with 6 a dozen wives.
Chris Sledge
Who am I to judge how they want to live, life is to short for me to be trying to live someone else’s so if it’s three that make them happy by all means y’all enjoy because we only get one go around so make the most of it
Whitey Keeler
Pull off your tiaras ladies! If you whined about gay marriage you got it. If you’re a horny bastard claiming a triad or more you don’t deserve the benefits given to married couples. And keep your asses off adam4adam etc. Being gay is not being a promiscuous human being. That’s you! Wah wah wah!
alphacentauri
@Gerard Sikora: LMAO no they don’t. talk to anyone that has had the unfortunate experience of being in one.
AtticusBennett
@J Stephen Lafayette: calm down, Blanche. you’re perpetuating the stereotype that some gay men are so bloody insecure that they live their entire life worrying what Bigoted Straights Think.
they can make their own rules and have their own lives. how does it affect you? it doesn’t. so wash that sand out of your vagina before you go completely mad.
whenever these stories come out there’s a section of insecure wimpy gay boys who get terrrrribly upset. why are you upset? that there three found each other and nobody wants you? that these guys don’t live in fear of bigoted ignorance, and you DO?
MANY of us enjoy polyamory. your bitter rejections of the happy lives of others shows that your life ain’t as peachy as you’d like people to believe it is.
Grant Mealey
This is any of you alls or the “straight” community’s business because WHY??
moldisdelicious
Think that people need to start being realistic. This is what happens when someone lacks self control and principles. While there is nothing wrong with an open relationship if two people agree upon it, at some point you gotta remind yourself that your ass is still in a relationship. Even open relationships have to have rules as ND limits .
alphacentauri
@Kangol: Nope I’m not h0mophobic or “sex negative” or whatever other nonsense PC term you want to use. Condoms do break, and don’t protect against all STDs, and if you think PrEP/Truvada will keep you HIV neg and free of STDs while you bareback you’re delusional. I’ve experienced lots of safer sex but it was while dating and in a monogamous relationship.
AtticusBennett
@moldisdelicious: um…. how does THEIR relationship have to be affected by YOUR rules and YOUR limits?
you know what this comment section sounds like? a bunch of broken boys who are upset because these guy’s relationship is somehow going to make your own lives worse. what are you boys so scared of?
people saying “you have to have rules! you have to have limits!” – uh…why do YOUR limits and rules have to be followed by someone else?
alphacentauri
@jerkinns: LOL very true. Or the two men who are a “couple” will do or say something that makes the 3rd person jealous or left out.
alphacentauri
@Cam: Yeah a lot of people think that all of their relationship issues with a partner or ex who they pine for will be completely solved if they invite other people into their ‘relationship’ for sex; but it doesn’t work that way.
Cam
@AtticusBennett:
Hi Atticus, I usually agree with you, but I think we are coming at this from different points. These guys can be with, marry, have sex with who they want.
It’s the boring tone of the articles, every year or two the same article pretending that this is something new, something different, something that has never been thought of before, so enlightened etc….
That is where I’m coming from on it, if these three want to be in a three way marriage or committed relationship, good for them, I just think that recycling the same article every year is yawn inducing. Although the commentary is always good for a laugh.
AtticusBennett
@Cam: sure thing, HOWEVER – the incredibly negative response to this story, from guys who are upset about “stereotypes” or saying “there should be RUUULES! RUUUUUULES!!! i tells ya!!!’ speaks that this issue is something that needs more discussion.
the one thing i noted in this story that most don’t seem to be talking about is that the one guy is in his late twenties, had pretty much JUST COME OUT, and is now in this relationship. the newly-out jumping into committed relationships – that’s more likely to end in a break-up than simply being polyamorous.
Cam
@AtticusBennett:
Well I don’t get the over-whelming negativity. Whatever works for them, but I agree, just out and diving right in. That will not last long is my guess, but might be a good learning experience.
youarekiddingme
@alphacentauri: You know I agree with you…condoms do break. They don’t protect 100% of STDs. On the other hand….If you think being in a committed, monogomous relationship is a 100% guaranntee you are also fooling yourself. The rate of cheating partners in a monogomous relationship is extremely high.
I guess we can all just sit around in our rooms and masturbate all night or practice safer sex, using condoms, Prep, whatever (be in a monogomous relationship) or limited sex partners and try to enjoy life being as safe as possible? I lived through the pandemic just as you did. Lost lots of friends and loved ones. You can’t stop living and loving. I also don’t think that with the new technology you should be reckless either. Saying condoms don’t work against STDs is true…to a point. What is a young person going to do when they are experimenting with their sexuality? They’re hopefully going to be as safe as they can. Hepatits B series vaccinations are also available. You can sometimes be cautious to the point of paranoia. Maybe I’m misreading you. Please help clarify if I am. What do you suggest for young people, starting out, if not these precautions (I know abstinance–which ain’t happening).
I’ve been in a committed relationship for 24 years but understand the other side of the fence as well.
Nick Grillo
These 3-way relationships never end well.
GusBlogging
I mean this what tolerance is about, isnt it? If we claim that two dads are great, why shouldn’t three loving fathers be even better? Because it feels wrong to us, but only because we aren’t used to it. If we can’t accept this type of relationship just because it is different to what we are used to, how can we expect straight people to tolerate gay relationships in general?
Gus from http://www.gus-guyblog.com
AxelDC
Couple betrays marriage vows to sleep around.
The plot of every 1970s swingers flick.
Cam
@GusBlogging:
Yes, but your problem is, you seem to equate people saying things like “Oh, I’ve seen this before, the 3rd usually leads to a break-up” as attacking them.
Sure, they have every right to do whatever they want to, but I’m sorry, when you do an interview for a major publication, guess, what, you don’t get to then complain that not everybody thinks you’re the smartest person in the room.
They invited the world to judge them, and some people are gonna judge.
blackberry finn
Nietzsche said of innovations in morality: What’s new is always “evil”, but in time it becomes “progress” and “good”.
But only if it lasts…
mz.sam
With the Duggars axed this Menage-A-WTF should capitalize their 15 minutes of fame and do their own TLC reality show.
nathanmichaelblack
Love is sacred. I give thanks to God that you three were courageous enough to honor the love you discovered. Yours is a beautiful and powerful story– especially to the lgbt community whose acceptance has long hinged on the “acceptability” of our love.
If you’re looking for like-minded friends, check out: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GAYpolyamory/
rogerdodger7777
@alphacentauri: I decided to register because your answer really bugged me.
I’ve been the “third wheel” in a relationship for 6 years. We have a NORMAL relationship with romantic dinners, movies, laying cozy in bed in the winter, watching movies or tv shows laying on the couch, everything your relationship has, but with a perk. The sex has one person more.
What’s the difference? We’re happy as fuck, we love each other to death and we have couple synergy. We know our flaws, what to say, what not to say and I actually think OUR 3-Way relationship is way more stable than a lot of gay or straight relationships and marriages I see.
Everyday we see and talk to people who are not happy with their husbands or wives or everything and still talk trash about what we have. Talk about glass ceilings.
So please, before you talk crap about something you clearly don’t know, first try to understand this.
I relate more to this article than most of the people commenting, so yes, kudos for you guys! I’m happy for you and I hope you can AT LEAST outlast the people who talk shit!
Jim McHardy
I say good for them love is love and they do seem to have taken their time and are grounded. it will probably last where most Heterosexual marriages claps because they don’t have enough in common or get bored or sneak around and cheat. These guys are open and honest. Good for them
alphacentauri
@rogerdodger7777: LMAO it may look good now but it’s not going to last. Don’t kid yourself your two wannabe ‘partners’ are cheating on you, or you cheat on them.
DarkZephyr
@AtticusBennett: My biggest issue with this article is nt that they are together, its that I don’t know why the hell I am supposed to care about it in any special way. I’d feel exactly the same if this article was about a two way gay couple or a single gay man that has announced his lifelong commitment to bachelorhood. Who gives a crap? Great that they found happiness, but what am I supposed to do about it? I mean, ALL it is is a story about a new relationship. When I started dating my fiance, nobody came and interviewed us about it and placed our pictures on LGBT news blogs (thankfully, it would be a silly reason for a news story just as this is). Its the News blogs like Queerty that are making this more “out of the ordinary” and “unique” than it needs to be and are kind of sensationalizing it. I mean what have these three done other than start a new relationship? Nothing, really. And seriously, their relationship is *literally* none of my business and I would love to keep it that way. They don’t pay my bills and I don’t pay theirs.
tusgold
I am 57 and with my man for 28 years. We don’t need to be married and I do it the old fashion way my boyfriend is 25. My man is 44.
tusgold
You know why does anyone care? This is such a non story oh and by the way how many wives do morman have………………..TELL ME THE DIFFERENCE
whitakerk861
Wow. Thanks Queerty! Groundbreaking. A gay couple inviting a 3rd. Yawn. How about a story about a gay couple that’s monogamous? Pretty much every married gay couple I know has a third. Seriously, do a piece about a gay couple that has struggled but succeeded at being completely committed to each other and remained monogamous. They exist and I bet their stories are far more interesting. Marriage is not easy and I’d like to hear from them.
zeev87
Three guys and a horse were first.
chaqka
@rogerdodger7777: I’m glad that you’re in a happy relationship. Not writing to denigrate it at all. Instead, I am really curious, are there any issues regarding jealousy? I’m wondering because I’m trying to imagine myself in that dynamic and I wonder if my desire to have my “alone time/introvert time” would only enable the other two in the relationship to get closer and closer only to potentially bloom into a two person relationship leaving me – the third wheel to essentially be the duped fool.
chaqka
@rogerdodger7777: I’m glad that you’re in a happy relationship. Not writing to denigrate it at all. Instead, I am really curious, are there any issues regarding jealousy? I’m wondering because I’m trying to imagine myself in that dynamic and I wonder if my desire to have my “alone time/introvert time” would only enable the other two in the relationship to get closer and closer only to potentially bloom into a two person relationship leaving me – the third wheel to essentially be the duped fool.@chaqka: @chaqka:
Garth
@Kevin Wotipka: Exactly what I was thinking .
Glücklich
@rogerdodger7777:
Don’t waste time on a reply to alpha-analscentlover. That cretin is a yeast infection in the vagina of society.
Joe
Then don’t get married. Simple. I am married and I would never have thought to bring a 3rd man into our sexual relationship. It’s bad news and creates a whole dimension of the relationship.
bottom250
That is so romantic. Good for them. Live your dreams boys.
stranded
Good for them. But let’s be honest, the fact that they’re all hot makes this seem more newsworthy than it is.
I will say, while reading:
“I have two sisters who have both offered to carry our children for us as surrogates and are willing to donate their eggs as well,” Shayne explains. “My sisters actually argue over which one them will carry our baby first. I feel very lucky! Meanwhile Sebastian’s sister will probably donate her eggs, too, so we can keep it in the family.”
… it was kind of gross.
Paco
@Steven Best: I suspect that is usually how the story goes.
Cobalt Blue
@stranded: It’s terrible because these babies didn’t ask to live with such disgusting people. If they want to go in a twisted kind of ” family “, good for them but bring two innocents to this pigsty it’s a crime, a perversion. These kids will always have the other families to compare with ” theirs “.
Marky
Whatever floats their boat. I’m sure most of the hate is going to come from people with fragile relationships anyway–or that merely desire to be in one; criticism of their relationship should really be taken with a grain of salt. It’s a relationship, not a swingers party; this really isn’t going to damage the image of the LGBT community in any noticeable way. That’s left to people walking with half their nut sack hanging out in front of five year old children i.e. pride. Priorities.
moldisdelicious
@AtticusBennett:
No, YOU dont get it. Just in case you dont see whats happening here. Its a bunch of narcissists trying to act like theyre changing the world acting like they’re redefining love when all they want is attention and tv time. These guys legally are going to have a hard time convincing the court to even let them get married or even bring children into the picture. If they want to do that in their own world, that’s fine but in reality, good luck with that. I dunno if canada would allow that to stand legally.
Maybe you yourself should stop copying off these guys with the self importance, pretentious nonsense that you’re doing here too. I understand that you got your blog going on and etc where you want to be this voice among gay men but you know… there’s too many guys that want to be in the limelight and center of attention. They act like there’s a prize for it all. No sense of humility.
I’m not hating either. These guys don’t bother me. I am sick of folks like them trying to push themselves out there and act like people like me are supposed to care about what they do.
Garth
I’m guessing one of these guys got tired of the relationship and suggested an alternative approach . Can’t wait to see which one of the original pair gets dumped and sent packing .
moldisdelicious
Another thing that I’m also noticing too which I think is a bit disturbing is folks acting like a part of being gay is being sexually open or being loose or being different. Like open relationships, being in love triangles and etc is more normal than being monogamous. Shouldn’t it be someone just doing that because they as an individual want to do it. Not because of what they think their sexual orientation dictates or them stereotyping themselves and others who are gay like then. Think that it would be better for folks to go like… this is how I view love instead of being ready to go like “this is how gay people roll”. Queerty I’d guilty of doing this. Those guys represent themselves. Not all gay people.
jdboston617
@Ian Reeve: Legitimize? How? I would think quite the opposite to be honest.
SporteOne
This is a perfect example of what not to do – when it took us so long for gay marriage to come to fruition. Upstanding gay citizens for marriage equality. Phucking idiots.