Crazed Conservative Calls DNC’S Gender-Neutral Bathrooms “Rape Rooms”

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Today, or at least for the next half hour before slithering onto something else, the Internet is intent on dissecting the DNC’s “gender-neutral bathrooms,” with many praising their presence as “a sign of the times,” while inkier voices suggest the whole thing is a nefarious publicity stunt, or a very real danger to society at large.

One writer goes so far as to refer to these bathrooms as “rape rooms” and “unrest rooms.”

Related: Anti-Trans Activist Encourages Men to Chase Women into Bathrooms

Let’s start with him. We hadn’t heard of Matthew Vadum up until today, but all good things come to an end. Some exceedingly light Google research reveals he’s “an award-winning investigative journalist at a conservative watchdog group in Washington, D.C.”

Related: The Best Bathroom Panic Memes And GIFs (So Far!)

In his op-ed piece published today in The Canada Free Press, Vadum spills bottles of ink on the “all-gender” restrooms at the Wells Fargo Center, which he claims are indicative of the “Left’s crusade to include ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE in everything everywhere at all times without regard to public safety, appropriateness, decorum, or common decency.”

Throughout the piece, he refers to the W.C.’s as “unrest rooms,” “everything-goes facilities” (!) and “rape rooms,” since they allow “big, strong men… to relieve themselves alongside little girls and women.”

Related: What’s Going On In Public Bathrooms That Has People So Terrified?

He thinks that’s bad news indeed, whether these people choose to identity as “men or women or octopusses [sic].” Or misspellings.

Such bathrooms, he argues, “present a standing invitation to those seeking to commit sexual assaults.”

“They paint a target on those who cannot defend themselves.”

Meanwhile, radio host Jason Rantz suspects the whole thing is a publicity stunt engineered for maximum impact. “All of the other bathrooms in the arena appear to be more traditional, split by the sexes,” he notes, demonstrating unusual powers of deduction. “Is it a coincidence that the all-gender restroom is right by the press booth?”

So he digs deeper and actually dares to go inside this unsettling new fortress where people of all genders are invited to relieve themselves, and presents his subsequent findings like a bombshell: “It appears that it’s just a women’s bathroom with the new sign on it.”

Of course, more level-headed denizens of the Internet were supportive, or, more appropriately, utterly unfazed by this controversial collection of toilets and sinks and paper towel dispensers: 

We look forward to a time when we’re not being asked to think about public restrooms everyday.

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