Oy! We’d hate to be in charge of Facebook’s PR department these days.
BuzzFeed News just published a damning investigative piece titled “Landlords Are Offering Young Men Free Rooms In Return For Sex And Facebook Is Letting It Happen” and it definitely doesn’t make the social media giant look good.
It all started when reporter Patrick Strudwick stumbled upon a Facebook group called “Gay Houseboy’s and those who hire them.”
The page describes itself as a “group for gay men seeking gay boys to work for them as houseboys, and for gay houseboys seeking employment” and claims to have a strict “No nude pics” and “no ‘hookup’ posts” policies.
But Strudwick quickly learned that’s not the case.
Related: Man served eviction papers for being gay, landlord cites her “Christian values”
He writes:
In multiple interviews with the men exchanging sex for rent and groups trying to deal with the crisis, BuzzFeed News also uncovered a spectrum of experiences that goes far beyond what has so far been documented, with social media, hook-up apps, and chemsex parties facilitating everything.
At best, impoverished young men are seeking refuge in places where they are at risk of sexual exploitation. At worst, teenagers are being kept in domestic prisons where all personal boundaries are breached, where their lives are in danger.
22-year-old Denholm Spurr is one of the young men who got sucked into that dangerous vortex, spending three years hopping from one sex-for-rent arrangement to another.
“I was really vulnerable,” he says. “I didn’t have the capacity to make decisions that were in my own interest.”
Often the arrangements also included participating in group sex and PNP parties, which he felt obligated to partake in.
Related: Gay landlord had sex in tenant’s bed and now he’s going to prison
“I would just go from one to the next because I thought if I leave I’ve got nowhere to go,” he says. “There were times,” he says, “I went under [lost consciousness] on G and then I woke up and someone was f*cking me.”
Spurr says he felt powerless to say no for fear he would be thrown out.
“I felt more worried about upsetting them than I did my own self-respect,” he says. “I didn’t have the strength to say no. I became what I felt people wanted. I branded myself as this ‘sexual being’ that other people fed off. I felt that’s what I needed to do.”
Strudwick spoke to several other young men who also found themselves victims in these arrangements and ended up “raped, beaten, drugged, infected with HIV and treated as domestic slaves.”
Buzzfeed News says that Facebook has promised that a representative would comment but, so far, that hasn’t happened.
Related: Couple Can’t Escape Homophobic Landlord From Hell Who Follows Them Everywhere
ChrisK
Kind of the way I felt when I moved to San Francisco. You move to cities like that and you better come with lots of money or be ready to whore yourself out. Just the way it is.
On Facebook. How would they know. I read it and it looked perfectly Legit To Me. Older gay men looking for “Houseboys” have always been in advertisements.
dwes09
WTF!? In no way is that “just the way it is”.
When I came to San Francisco I advertised myself as a housecleaner and in a very short time was making decent money. then after a few years went into business with two friends doing drip irrigation installation and landscape design. I knew nobody who “whored themselves out”, despite having a huge social group at that point in my life.
Clearly there are people who do sell themselves, but in no way is that a common scenario in “cities like this” unless preexisting or incipient drug abuse is an issue.
ChrisK
When did you come out to San Francisco though? Was it before the real estate prices went up into the stratosphere or after? When the average rent for a one-bedroom at $3,000/month it’s kind of hard to do that on just a house cleaning income.
CastleSF
I am socially conservative but I will never criticize anyone, esp. a young guy, for doing what he has to do to survive in a big city. It may not be something I would approve but it’s their life they are fighting for.
CastleSF
People who are unhappy with advertisements like this, unless they are willing to offer these poor kids shelters or are doing something that help the kids in a meaningful way, they have no business to complain. What these old men offer to the kids is far from ideal but at least they are getting fed and have a roof over their head.
Deepdow
I bet all the creepy guys that doing this are white :(
tham
Actually, sugar daddies comes in all colors, races and religions.
I had this NFL player who begged me to be his house boy…first, I don’t clean, second, he was like 15 inch’s taller than me (I mean I don’t have a height hang up, but still, too tall)…and..I like the privacy of living on my own.
Sugar daddies are mostly (mostly) about being lonely. And that can happen to any rich dude, regardless of color.
Larry
I guess the new thing on all the apps will be “No tall men.” Humans these days are just sad.
CastleSF
Larry, why did you take it so personally that tham is not attracted to real tall guys? It’s entirely his prerogative to choose what type of men he wants to be with.
MaxTaste
Sometimes being unattractive is a win. It forced me to rely on my intelligence and work ethic to make it. Nobody was ever going to hire me as a houseboy.
Lacuevaman
WTF? Having self respect is always a good thing regardless of your looks.
ChrisK
@Lacuevaman. Kind of a smug self-righteousness to look down on somebody doing what they have to do in order to survive. Not everybody was given the same opportunities in life.
tnguy222
That is exactly right.
I was a gawky, acne-faced, bony teenager. Therefore, I was deep in books, extra curriculars, and sports which did not require brawn.
Fortunately, I hit my second puberty, bulked up, face cleared up, and realized that I was attractive (or so I’m told). By then, I was in an excellent university and on a solid career path. I didn’t even lose my virginity until college.
It was the best hing that ever happened to me, It forced me to cultivate myself and my abilities.
CastleSF
The life trajectory for each individual is vastly different. Some are blessed with attractive looks, some are born with amazing intelligence and then a few are blessed with both. Everyone is useful and most everyone is given many second chances. Only a small number of men are lifelong tormented souls.
Kangol
This is what reporters like Patrick Strudwick are paid to do: investigate and figure out what’s really going on. I’m glad he’s called attention to yet another ethical and potentially illegal blind spot on Facebook’s part; maybe they’ll act to prevent yet another form of exploitation before government regulations force them to.
Aromaeus
So since craigslist personals and sites like it got shut down because of the new law in place shouldn’t facebook have to shut down these groups?
Kangol
I was going to post this so I’m glad you did. The federal whole attack on Craigslist and similar sites supposedly to stop sex-trafficking was not only wrongheaded but also set up to fail. Let’s see if Facebook comes under scrutiny for what Queerty’s reporting here.
Daniel-Reader
Good for the guys who don’t decide to voluntarily participate in these things since those who do had to seek this out and then repeatedly participate in it when they didn’t have to in the first place and could have stopped at any point. This just sounds like people not taking responsibility for their actions when countless other people take responsibility for their own actions all the time. Remember if you hook up with someone from an app and they stay over and you feed them breakfast you are giving them room and board for sex which according to this article is unethical and for some unknown reason illegal.
crowebobby
In the olden days (the 50’s and 60’s), guys just advertised for “roommates,” listing interests as bodybuilding. Same ploy but the applicants were out of there in 10 minutes or an hour depending on their response. I never had an apartment, I lived in furnished rooms, so I never got to even try this.
chris33133
As you know from an earlier Queerty article chastising us old farts on acceptable language to use when addressing 20 years olds, we’re not supposed to say “back in my day.” Would/could you recommend “in the olden days” as an acceptable synonym???
:-)
Bradsman
Are we going to pretend that sex isn’t a commodity? Always was and always will be regardless of laws and the judgement of others.
Kangol
Another sleazy thing that used to happen, before the federal targeting of undocumented immigrants, was that some landlords in places like NYC would allegedly demand sex from immigrant guys if they couldn’t pay up and if their papers weren’t in order. I know of one person from the Caribbean who said that when he first came to the US, he encountered several different landlords who figured out quickly what his situation was, and then wanted sex or were willing to take it in partial payment for his rent.
CastleSF
There is nothing sleazy about this situation. Both are adults and both got what they wanted or needed. It would be a different story if the immigrant was underage. My view is that the immigrant should be grateful that his landlord was willing to accept alternative payments.
DHT
You guys know this works both ways right? There are plenty of younger guys who try to move in who are doing so just to take advantage of a situation. There was one gay young man in my neighborhood, in retrospect I believe he was an addict, that I would try to give work to and I would pay him well so that he had some extra spending money. I never slept with him and I wouldn’t have. He had a troubled story about overly religious parents. Eventually they threw him out and I agreed to store some clothing here for him. He kept trying to move in but he had another place to stay so I wasn’t having it. About six months later or so his friend threw him out and he wanted to stay for the weekend, (I had let him stay off and on for a night or two in the past). I made it clear he wasn’t to live here but he could stay for the long weekend. He continually referred to my house as his “home”, I repeatedly corrected him and told him that wasn’t the case. He showed up after the long weekend and tried to force his way in. He asked the neighbors to call the police and when they arrived he maintained that he lived here. I could prove that he didn’t. He then tried to convince them I assaulted him and tried to get me arrested, which wasn’t the case either. The police saw right through the con and escorted him off my property. I’m just saying not all of these young guys are saints.
chris33133
This is sex work. Yes it is horrific for people who are as desperate as many of these young men seem to be. And that is precisely why we need to help them move onto better options. But we do them no favors if we condemn them for doing whatever they must do in order to survive and/or if make it impossible for them to work.
DHT
BTW, the GHB thing works both ways too. It’s not always about sex sometimes it’s about theft.
DHT
Actually, to be honest, I have other similar experiences. To the point that I will no longer will hire young gay men to clean my house or work on my yard. There has always got be some kind of angle in it with them. It’s unfortunate.
CastleSF
Have you ever asked yourself why you kept attracting these troubled souls to your existence? I am not trying to blame you for your experiences but it seems that there are always some particular types of men, the rescue type for example, that encounter these unfortunate problems.
DHT
To CastleSF. It’s mainly just outside of my experience, I am finding out about this later in life. I was out in my early 20’s, but knew nothing about this seedy underbelly stuff. I was fortunate enough to have had other options I realize, but the idea that so many of these young guys are just looking to prey upon older men is just beyond me. I do feel bad though because one of these young men was clearly interested in a relationship, I never engaged with him this way, and he eventually kind of blew up at me (several times). I now realize he took that as another rejection in his life and it makes me feel horrible now.
RexRed
Every city has shelters and social safety nets to aid homeless people. The only excuse for becoming a slave to sex is ignorance. There are teen and young adult shelters and teen centers with tons of money for housing. Many are ignorant of these services and some are addicted to substances and sex and think sex is an easy way to climb the ladder to success. Sex is an easy way to ruin your health and end up back on the streets fast with even less than what you started with. Get help at city services and go to school, learn a trade and save yourself for someone worth your love.
DHT
Sex is an easy way to ruin your health and end up with less than what you started even if you aren’t on the streets.
WindsorOntario
We are at a disadvantage because while some minority communities are often in lower income or smaller cities, the gay communities are still solidly within affluent and overpriced cities that, unless you have a lot of money and/or post-graduate degrees, you’re out of luck. Before, there was always the ‘Y’ or rooms to rent downtown. Today those have been converted into $4500/month lofts. There’s no place in big cities for gay guys with no money which is why you’re seeing more in places like Duluth, MN or Amarillo, TX.
There seems to be a fantasy of the gay community being one that will save each other or ‘we’re all in this together’ – that’s never been farther from the truth. There are no social safety nets in these affluent cities anymore – which is why the whole Craigslist thing has been such a serious crisis for these men who make money this way. You’ll never find a place to live in gay areas working minimum wage.
chris33133
Homeless shelters provide, at best, temporary housing and then they tend to favor single women with children. As far as I have seen, homeless shelters are ill equipped to provide the kinds of long term support and services that so many homeless gay youth and/or immigrants needs to enable them to get on their feet. In Miami, there are waiting lists to get into them. And the streets are full of people suffering from a wide range of mental illness. Facing such a frayed safety net and the possibility of being on the street with mentally ill folk, people who can engage in sex work will do so; and as some people have noted, they often engage in predatory behaviors simply out of desperation.
mhoffman953
If they’re consenting adults, I don’t see the issue.
I do remember in 2016, 4chan uncovered thousands upon thousands of Twitter accounts that were trading underage porn openly on their Twitter feeds. As well as Youtube accounts posting suspicious child videos. Everyone on 4chan reported it but nothing was ever done.
But don’t dare post a bare adult butt on social media or share an offensively funny meme or express your political opinion, because you’ll get banned and have whatever you posted removed.
I’ve had Facebook even ask me for a copy of my driver’s license twice for me to restore access to my account. That’s when I stopped using it. Social media is a joke anymore.
DHT
I tend to agree with you. Sounds like a nasty Facebook site to hang out on though, it must be rife with predators on both sides of the equation.
Raymond Saint-Pierre
That Facebook page is gone now! It disappeared around 3 AM EST! Quite the reaction by Facebook! Imagine if it had been for Russian oligarchs and houseboys? Lol