Did you know that Jesus will come and reclaim all his followers this Saturday? Did you know that Jesus plans to reap all their souls at 6pm EST because He despises Eastern Standard time the most? Did you also know that God will completely destroy the Earth and the universe five months later on October 21 (one day after my birthday—thanks God!). Did you know that it’s pretty much the fault of teh gays? Do you ever wonder why religious bigots blame everything these days on us?
If you have not yet heard the good news, you should listen to Harold Camping, the nutty 91-year-old President of the evangelical broadcast Family Radio. He previously predicted that the Rapture would occur in September 1994, but he has improved his biblical math skills since then, so this time he’s really sure it’s gonna happen you guys! And while it might be a bummer to lose some of our cooler Christian friends, we are pretty hyped about a world without evangelical persecution! Just imagine—with them gone it will be much easier to build a world based on loving your neighbor, treating others like you want to be treated, and other worthwhile biblical teachings that anti-gay Christianists tend to ignore!
Of course, Camping is not the only one to have wrongly predicted the end of the world. Just in case though, you might want to attend the Facebook event for Post-Rapture Looting.
John
Actually it’s likely that some big doo-doo will hit the fan sooner or later:
The Threat From Within: Dominionists Taking Over America:
http://www.politicususa.com/en/dominionists-over-america
The total collapse of the U.S. economy is inevitable – Here’s why
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnteMtJt73k
http://www.usdebtclock.org/
Hyhybt
@John: Those things won’t happen if the world ends Saturday, though.
I wouldn’t particularly mind if it did. Even if Dufus happened to pick the right date, he won’t be the one deciding who winds up where 🙂
Kmid
2:17 pickles???? in the flower garden. Yep, definitely a sign of the rapture.
Ray
I hope the old fool dies Saturday at six so all the other chritians think they got left behind.
Katlego
Hahaha, dats funny, im really n0t w0rried, it d0esnt matter when the rapture wil happen, we all g0ta be ready at all times anyh0w
dollyknockers
Any idea what time this is going to kick off? It’s just that I want to see Britains Got Talent and I’m not sure if I should watch it….or can I SkyPlus it to watch later?
Tiqueboy
So when this does not happen, and it won’t, can we then say the bible is trash and this “creepy Old Dude” will be a fool!
Sidi
The bible is n0t trash, the creepy dude will have made a mistake, a dumb 1.
TomMc
Matthew 24:36
Hamburglar
@TomMc: Exactly. If *Jesus* doesn’t know when he’s coming back, how can anyone else claim to?
Jeffree
I’m participating in a flashmob event: we’re going to release big mylar balloons at 6p local time, and spread out old clothes on the steps of some places of worship.
Goal? So it looks like the people who got raptured ascended into the heavens without their outer- or underwear!
(all in good fun, of course)
Shannon1981
@Jeffree: LOL please youtube this and post the link here.
Jeffree
@Shannon1981: I believe the woman who organized it does plan to capture the “results” for a video. So if she youtubes it, I’ll let you know.
Similar flashmobs will be happening across the country.
Shannon1981
@Jeffree: Thanks! I can’t believe people actually are believing this BS. As a side note, why hasn’t Harold Camping given away his fortune, since he won’t need it after tomorrow?
John
As a supplement to the link I posted in comment #1, I’ve assembled all the video & article links I currently have re the International Transformation Network on a Facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150188577491386&set=a.423943556385.199974.660216385&type=1
I urge everyone to check them out as they outline what the ITN is all about: a global network which aims to transform the world into an extremist ‘Christian’ dominionist theocracy which regards gays (and anyone else who opposes them) as being demons who must be eliminated before the Second Coming of Christ can occur.
Uganda is their first target followed by the rest of Africa. They’re also in Hawaii, Alaska, California and New Jersey as well in Argentina and the Philippines etc. Even the evangelical right is worried about the rapid growth & reach of this recent menace.