Some parents just “get it.” Steve Rudner is clearly one of them.
Rudner is a Texas-based attorney who sits on the board of directors of Equality Texas, a group that “works to secure full equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender Texans through education, community organizing, and collaboration.”
It’s easy to see why he’s involved with the organization after reading a recent Facebook post in which he argues from a parent’s point of view against laws like North Carolina’s HB2 that criminalize transgender people using their preferred restroom.
The post gets to the heart of the matter, putting things in perspective:
“I’m the father of a 21 year old daughter. There are lots of things I worry about. I worry about her being sexually assaulted, because that happens a lot. I worry about her being the victim of a drunk driver, because that happens a lot. I worry about her being the victim of gun violence, because lots of people die from gun-related injuries. Here’s what I do not worry about: I don’t worry about her being attacked in a restroom by a trans woman because (a) it has never happened; and (b) trans women are the most victimized group of people I’ve ever met, and the least likely to commit a crime of indecency in a restroom, because they are afraid of getting beat up when all they want to do is pee. And here is something else I don’t worry about: I don’t worry about my daughter being cruel and inhumane to trans men, women or kids, because my wife and I have raised her to have values and because she is a kind person. There are things to worry about. and then there are things people want you to worry about to conceal their agenda of discrimination and hate. Wake up.”
The message has now been shared over three-and-a-half thousand times.
If you have a friend or family member who could use some common sense nudging in the right direction on the issue, we implore you to open a dialogue by passing along his heartfelt words.
There are a lot of things to worry about in our wild world — where people pee is not one of them.
leobaga
Told you I was right about Trump. He will be the most gay-friendly Republican nominee for president ever:
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/23/us/politics/donald-trump-gay-rights.html?_r=0
Masc Pride
Arguing that people shouldn’t be concerned about things you don’t view as important can always be flipped: With sexual assaults, drunk drivers and gun violence, why are trans people so focused on not being able to use their preferred restroom?
Since trans doesn’t require any surgery, does this mean a male-to-female transperson can openly walk around “flapping in the breeze” in a ladies’ locker room? Lots of MtFs opt to keep their penises and testicles unaltered. If so, it seems like the argument would have to be for just making all restrooms and locker rooms unisex, which would be a really massive change to accommodate such a minuscule population.
DCguy
@Masc Pride:
No, actually what he did was provide a statistic to back it up.
What I notice is that you have been on here commenting every single time about this bathroom issue. So let me ask YOU a question….
Why do you think it would be ok for a Republican backed security guard at a bathroom to ask kids to lower their underwear so he can feel up their genitals?
Because thats what would end up happening if you put a law in place forcing verification of physical gender before bathroom use.
Masc Pride
DCGuy: Put your contrarian obsession aside for a minute. I said that if someone is arguing that others should be more concerned about other issues, people can just as easily argue that person should also be worried about things that are more pressing than what they’re arguing.
Also, in order to notice me, you would have to be in every single story on this issue as well. You have been commenting too (mostly just to insult others). Media is ramming this issue down our throats, so people are discussing it. You always opt for ad hominem instead of answering my questions, yet you expect me to answer yours? Totally in line with the rest of your entitlement issues.
AtticusBennett
the dad is spot-on correct. “masc pride”, as per his pathetic closeted worthless usual self, is dead wrong. must be friday.
Maude
It seems to me, as long as you are dressed appropriately, and you use a booth, who’s going to know?
But then again some of us, and not just a few, make very unladylike women……”Truck drivers in drag”……Truman Capote.
Bauhaus
Great dad – fortunate daughter – excellent message!
DCguy
@Masc Pride:
Yes, but I’m not the one taking issue with it every time. And instead of accusing me of using ad hominem attacks, please provide an example. I pointed out that you were on every posting, and gave a scenario where the GOP would require security guards to feel kids genitals before letting them into a bathroom.
You responded by refusing to deal with the scenario I laid out because you can’t dispute that that type of verification is not out of the rhelm of possibility when you are dealing with the GOP, and then claimed that I was lobbing personal attacks. (Which is what Ad Hominem means).
So again, please respond to my first post, AND please provide the supposed personal attack I directed at you in it. Otherwise your response seems like a calculated effort to deflect.
Masc Pride
@Maude: Whether one is passable or not seems to be a factor that comes up often in these debates. You can’t really say “just let the passable ones in”. What about those who don’t want or can’t afford elective surgeries? So basically, by the logic of those that oppose bathroom laws, even people who outwardly appear male should be allowed in women’s restrooms and changing areas as long as they identify as female in their minds.
Masc Pride
@DCguy: You repeatedly accused me of defending conservatives yesterday, yet couldn’t come up with a specific instance. I also very clearly stated the reason why I wasn’t answering your question, so implying that I can’t come up with an answer to the question is just further proof of your penchant for personal attacks.
Marky
We need to stop treating men like they’re going to rape every woman that they see. Quite frankly, everyone should be able to use a bathroom regardless of gender without making other people feel uncomfortable. If you can’t help but ogle and look, you have a problem and you need to speak to a therapist. It’s just like people who can’t help staring at everyone and hitting on everyone that they “meet” (encounter) while walking down the street. Only people that will present a problem are the nymphomaniacs posing as average people.
If you associate sex and bathrooms… you have an issue.
DCguy
@Masc Pride: stated: “”@DCguy: You repeatedly accused me of defending conservatives yesterday, yet couldn’t come up with a specific instance.”
_________________
You never asked me to provide instances. And again, that isn’t a personal attack. That is pointed out your actions. If you do not understand what you are saying just stick to clear language. My comment pointing out your other postings is a factual comment. An Ad hominem attack would be if I called you stupid, fat, ugly, etc….
For example, what I am about to say would be an ad hominem attack: You disagree with me, you are stupid. Again, what I did was point out your history. I’m sorry if you mistakenly thought you could use the words “Ad Hominem” to distract from the fact that you routinely defend anti-gay conservatives an dcan’t respond to my bathroom police comment.
Bauhaus
@Marky:
The folks with an issue seem deeply insecure and hopelessly repressed.
Masc Pride
@DCguy: False. I did ask you to provide an instance. You just never responded. Again, provide examples of all these times I’ve defended anti-gay conservatives (names, links to articles, etc.); is that clear enough language for you? And are you now claiming that you have never called me any names in the past?
DCguy
@Masc Pride:
Why would you lie when the post you reference is literally on this same page? you said you asked me to provide an instance. Here is your post cut and pasted.
—-
“”DCGuy: Put your contrarian obsession aside for a minute. I said that if someone is arguing that others should be more concerned about other issues, people can just as easily argue that person should also be worried about things that are more pressing than what they’re arguing.
Also, in order to notice me, you would have to be in every single story on this issue as well. You have been commenting too (mostly just to insult others). Media is ramming this issue down our throats, so people are discussing it. You always opt for ad hominem instead of answering my questions, yet you expect me to answer yours? Totally in line with the rest of your entitlement issues.””
—–
No, what you did was attack me and claim that I opt for Ad Hominem attacks. At no time in that post did you ask for me to provide an instance.
So lets review.
You lied about what you said. I pasted your comment and nowhere in it did you ask what you claimed you asked.
You claimed that my pointing out a fact of behavior was an ad hominem attack incorrectly,
And you keep trying to avoid talking about the fact that in order to apply the law the GOP would have to have official genital inspectors outside every bathroom.
Please, feel free to lie some more, cutting and pasting is an easy thing for me to do to easily prove your lies.
Masc Pride
@DCguy: Not in here. I asked you in the Curt Schilling story yesterday, and you never responded. You wasted all that time and hostility writing that essay reply for nothing at all. I LOL’ed.
Masc Pride
Though it should be noted that I did ask you again in my 2:45 reply…and still you’ve opted against producing any proof that I “defend conservatives”.
DCguy
@Masc Pride:
So again, you got caught lying, and are still avoiding responding to my comment on bathroom security doing genital checks before allowing people in.
If you are trying this desperately to avoid that topic it must mean that you can’t defend your opinion against it.
Oh, and I guess I don’t need to prove you were defending a right winger when you just slipped up and admitted you were posting on the Curt Schilling story.
You should remeber to keep your old lies straight.
So again, can’t defend against the bathroom police, claimed I said something I didn’t, claimed that my pointing out your behavior was ad hominem.
NY all means, keep lying and deflecting. I can wait.
Brian
Oh, please, this father seems extremely ignorant. What is so difficult to understand about the need for gender rules in public toilets? They have existed for centuries. Learn to live by the rules.
If transgenders don’t wish to live by the rules, just stop pretending that you are fighting for equality. You want special treatment, not equality.
Masc Pride
@DCguy: When you answer mine, I will answer yours. I haven’t lied about anything. In my posting in the Schilling story, I outright stated I was unaware of Schilling’s political affiliation and was only made aware long after my original comment. So apparently this one time where I agreed with someone that I didn’t even know (or care) was conservative is your sole basis for claiming that I “defend conservatives”, which suggests it’s something I regularly do. And you have the audacity to fix you fingers to type that someone else is a liar?
Also, agreeing that what Schilling said was biologically true and defending him as a person are two different things.
DCguy
@Masc Pride:
I love how you add in, that you haven’t led about anything. You still can’t point out where there was an ad hominem attack,
You can’t reply to the fact that the GOP, if they push their bills to the end, will require bathroom guards to inspect people before entering, And you are desperately trying to keep off this topic and talk about a completely different post.
This is why none of you, who support the anti-gay folks, can get any support when you comment. Because you can’t even admit when there is something wrong in your post, or when you made an error, or admit that there was no ad hominem attack and you either lied or didn’t know what that term meant, or even to support the fact that of course if you want to verify people in bathrooms they would have to have some sort of inspectors.
If you can’t do those simple things, there is no reason for any of your postings to be taken seriously, because you make it obvious that when you are called out on a lie or error you simply change the topic or lie again.
Masc Pride
@DCguy: Glad you love it. You’re welcome. I clearly stated I would answer all your questions as soon as you answer mine, and I did ask first. You’ve consistently shown extremely poor debate etiquette. Continuing to personally attack me and misrepresent what I’ve said certainly won’t get you what you’ve been begging me to do.
Louis
What a wonderful father I wish more parents could think the way he does.
This is the best way to raise a child to teach them empathy and to love others not hate them.