Learning to accept an LGBTQ family member can still be a process for many people, but one dad would be wise to speed up his timeline if he wants to keep his family.
Writing into the popular advice column Dear Abby, “Supportive Mom in New York” opens up about her less-than-supportive husband who’s been acting like a toddler in a temper tantrum ever since their son, “Greg,” came out.
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“My husband can’t accept it and refuses to meet Greg’s boyfriend,” she writes. “Our other son is getting married (to a girl), and Greg will be bringing his boyfriend. My husband says he won’t come to the wedding because our son’s boyfriend will be there. He says it would ‘make a mockery’ of the wedding. He has not told them yet.”
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And here’s the real kicker… Supportive Mom has laid out the stakes for her spouse, telling him “this will destroy our family and marriage.” His response? “He said he doesn’t care!”
“He finally admitted he just doesn’t want to see Greg’s boyfriend,” she adds. “I told him he doesn’t have to talk to him, but no argument works. I know our children will never speak to him again. I cannot stay married to him if he does this. I have no idea what to do.”
It sounds to us like she’s done a good job trying to convey the implications of her husband’s immature behavior, but Abby recommends laying it all out in crystal clear detail for him one last time.
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“Tell your husband, as calmly as possible, that the wedding isn’t the only milestone in his sons’ lives he will miss unless he has an attitude adjustment. Skipping the wedding will be just the beginning of his isolation because he will be absent from other important family milestones — celebrations, christenings, birthdays, sporting events, recitals and graduations.”
And “if that doesn’t wake him up,” she adds, “nothing will.”
She stops short of advocating divorcing the Neanderthal, recommending a marriage counselor instead. But we certainly wouldn’t take that option off the table.
rikard_pearson
the debate has happened. i say call his bluff and move his stuff out on the lawn.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
This noxious pernocious puddle of puke won’t change. And if it does slither to the wedding will invariably have a negative impact. Move on and of course periodically send pictures of the milestones in the couples lives. Such as seeing the Grandchildren they will never expose the hate-filled old smcubag to…
He made his shiit bed, now he should wallow in it….
Trekbike
I highly doubt this is the first time old sad sack has acted like this. I’m sure he’s been emotionally abusive to his entire family for years. I too think she throw his belongings into the street and refuse to let him come back until he can grow up. I’d for once make life a hell of a lot harder on him than the rest of the family for a change. I’d make him put up or shut up.
radiooutmike
Just put the guy out already. If he can’t come to terms that his own flesh and blood son is gay; let him reap what he has sown.
sillyme
I say move his sorry ass out of the house and file for a divorce and let him get served with that and take his sorry arrogant ass to the cleaners then see if that will wake him up and snap him out of the shit he put himself into and then let him stew in that shit pot for a long time.
Mattster
“Family values” at their finest!
He isn’t even boycotting a same-sex wedding! The mere presence of a homo at a wedding is too much for him? Ugh, someone enlighten him he’s probably never been to a wedding without gay people in attendance, whether he knew it or not!
AND he is too chicken even to say this to either of his sons, what a coward.
Boston495
He has been to a wedding with a gay person at it. He has been to the supermarket, with a gay person inside. He has been in a locker room with a gay person. And I will bet that a gay person has seen him naked and he lived. He needs to get over it. If he does not like same sex partners, then he just should not get one for himself. His wife should set her requirements as clearly as possible. But then she needs to have the courage to act. I think she is better off without this Neanderthal.
MrMichaelJ
Gee, you think dad is just mad Junior has the balls he never had to admit to it?
Thad
People can change. Even set-in-their-ways people can change. It’s dad’s loss if he doesn’t.