COOKIE CRUMBLES

Daily News Columnist “Furious” Over Gay Pride Oreo Cookie

It’s something Kraft didn’t have to do, and it’s clever, when you think about it, to use an image as iconic as the Oreo to support basic decency.

That doesn’t change the fact I’m still furious.

When I saw the image of that Oreo, with all those layers of creamy filling, I thought wow, finally someone has gotten supersizing right.

This isn’t just double-stuffed. This is double-stuffed, then double-stuffed again, then double-stuffed again.

Say hallelujah. Say amen.

I’m not sure the colors of all this filling are found in nature. I’m quite sure I don’t care. What’s a little food dye when you’ve got all that tasty sweet stuff?

This is the Dagwood sandwich of cookies—something where you almost have to go to the jaw gym and exercise for a week before you can eat it.

I saw this picture and after a brief moment to appreciate its aesthetics and message, every other thought in my head was immediately overpowered by this one: Where can I get me a package of these?

It was only then that I read the fine print, which says this isn’t a real cookie. You can’t buy it. You can’t eat it.

It’s a statement.

And that’s okay.

But I also want the cookie. And now, I will never get it. It will join all those girls and all those cars and world peace among the many things that will, alas, never become more than a dream.”

—Journalist David Hinckley, discussing Nabisco’s recent Pride Oreo image, in the New York Daily News