Darren Criss is pretty hot, right? He claims to be completely heterosexual, but that doesn’t mean we’ll ever stop drooling over his shirtless photos and that legendary sweaty shower scene.
Don’t you just want to grab his face and lick it?
You’re not the first one, apparently. In an interview with Cosmo this week, the 20-year-old actor dished on 101 sex tips to make your man say ooh la la his craziest encounter with a “Gleek gone wild”:
Cosmo: Have you ever had an encounter with a Gleek gone wild?
Darren Criss: A guy licked my face—straight up grabbed my head and licked my face.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Hot!
And because it’s Cosmo, they had to reassure readers that he isn’t gay in real life:
C: You’re not gay; you just play gay on TV. Do you ever feel the need to assert your heterosexuality?
DC: No. I know who I am. I feel bad for guys who have to flex their muscles. But hey, if that’s the way to make yourself feel comfortable as a man—as long as it isn’t antagonizing anybody—go for it. I’m okay with your getting a Miata to feel like a dude; just don’t be a dick about it.
Now if only we could get him to use “dick,” “muscles,” and “lick” in the same response, the world would be a much better place.
[Photo: Cosmo]
Palmer Scott
Face? Face? What piker is going to grab that man and just lick his face!?!
Hillers
Why would he mind? He lets Ryan Murphy lick more than that.
#aaaaaaandscene
dewin
A Miata doesn’t make anyone a “dude,” dude. It’s a girly car-
JDJase
@dewin: That was the joke.
MK Ultra
He handled that well. If a stranger licked my face, I’d be a little horrified. I don’t know where that tongue’s been!
lailaichong
I don’t think he is hot enough to make everyone want to lick his face.
Humberto Agostinho
O Darrem Criss é um homem muito lindo, mas além de lamber seu rosto eu adoraria lamber também seu cuzinho e encher seu saquinho de beijos. E penetrarmo-nos um ao outro dos jeitos mais deliciosos.
hyhybt
@Palmer Scott: One who doesn’t want to be injured or arrested?
I’m just trying to figure out what the blue animated monkey has to do with any of this.
BECQueerty
No. 7 Translation: The Darrem Criss is a very lovely man, but in addition to lick your face I also love to lick her ass and fill her purse with kisses. And penetrarmo us to one another the most delicious ways.
BECQueerty
Use English. Remember, it’s the language of commerce (B5).
Yvonne
he isn’t a poor man
Polaro
I think he is very talented. He must be a really great actor, because I would have sworn on a stack of Bibles that he was gay. (I’d swear to lies on a stack of Bibles since its just a book, but I digress.) If he is really straight, then it is more evidence we are winning the war.
Palmer Scott
@hyhybt You do realize I was joking, don’t you?
hyhybt
@Palmer Scott: Of course.