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Who didn’t feel for David Archuleta when he revealed he was on the LGBTQ spectrum in June 2021? Raised a strict Mormon, the former American Idol finalist clearly struggled for many years to accept and embrace his sexuality.
In coming out, he said he was attracted to men and thought he might be bisexual. However, he didn’t want to adhere to any particular label.
In subsequent interviews, he talked about previously experiencing suicidal thoughts, and about how his faith meant he was still waiting for marriage before having sex.
Related: David Archuleta says he used to pray to be straight and is still saving himself for marriage
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This week, in aninterview with People, Archuleta gave an insight into how things have been for him since coming out. He now identifies as queer.
Archuleta talked about the anxiety attacks he began to experience with his fiancée in May last year. He says they were prompted by thoughts of having to be intimate with her after they wed. He called off the engagement soon after.
In fact, it was the third time he’d broken off an engagement.
“No matter how hard I tried to marry a girl, it wasn’t right. And if you talk to my exes, they’ll tell you it was rough,” Archuleta said.
“I’m sure other people who’ve been in that situation can relate. People who are queer, who’ve tried to get married just to do the ‘right’ thing, it ends up not being a very good thing, and it’s not very healthy for either participant of the relationship.”
Accepting his attraction to men
Archulete prayed for help. He says his prayers were answered, but in a way he’d not previously anticipated.
“It got to a point where I was praying, like, ‘God, if you are really there, please take this away from me because I don’t know what else to do.’ And finally, there was just a moment where my understanding of God said, ‘You need to stop asking me this. You’re not supposed to change yourself because this is how you are. You are created to be this way’.”
He says he enjoyed his first same-sex kiss last year, at the age of 30.
“It felt effortless. I was like, ‘Oh, so this is what it feels like to like someone.’”
Archuleta says that after coming out, he tried to engage with Mormon leaders about the church’s attitude toward LGBTQ people. However, it proved fruitless, leading him to step away.
“For my own mental health, I can’t keep putting myself in a place where it’s so conflicting where they say, ‘We love you so much, but at the same time, you must change who you are. Oh, you can’t? Then we’re going to ignore this problem’.”
For the sake of his own “sanity”, he has taken a step back from his religion.
“It hurts me because my religion was everything for me. But you get to a point where you realize there are some things not right here. I need to just live my life, because I already know I’m okay how I am.”
cynthia_foxe
take a Big step away from religion….its good 4 the soul, dear.
m
Well said
ZzBomb
Freedom of Religion is Freedom from Religion. Glad you made it out alive!
cynthia_foxe
HE seems smart, never understood his obsession with that cult….
RyanMBecker
Cynthia,
Well, Mormon guys are pretty cute, no? Especially you like that innocent wholesome look.
DBMC
@cynthia foxe,
He was raised in it. When you are raised in a cult it is the only thing you know.
James
If lived in a woke state surrounded by woke people, none of ths would have been an issue for him. And he wouldnt have wasted the time of previous fiancees.
ShiningSex
This article wasted our time.
loren_1955
So many former Mormons can relate to his life journey. Myself, 40 years ago, was engaged to a woman and it felt so wrong. Went to the local bishop and was told to proceed with marriage, because marriage would make all the homosexual feelings go away, and…never tell her that I had those feelings. Basically the Mormon church was telling so many to enter into marriage as a fraud and lying. That ‘inspiration’ of Mormon leaders led to ten of thousands of broken marriages and families. To this day, no apologies, nothing. Seems just one of many definitions of an extreme cult. So glad I made it out alive…and my three sons love their gay dad.
humble charlie
but you have 3 sons who love you! and not mentioning your ex-wife who went through this painful journey with you is something you should address. she got you 3 sons and they are her sons also.
rand503
He says” “For my own mental health, I can’t keep putting myself in a place where it’s so conflicting where they say, ‘We love you so much, but at the same time, you must change who you are. Oh, you can’t? Then we’re going to ignore this problem’.” So basically, his religion is wrong about everything that concerns him.
Then we learn, “his faith meant he was still waiting for marriage before having sex.”
Now, it’s his decision whether or not to have sex, but if his faith was so wrong about so much, and has caused so much damage not just to him but to many others, why would he listen to his faith regarding sex before marriage? Until he frees himself completely from the thought control of the mormon church, and starts making decisions ON HIS OWN, he will never be happy or truly free.
If he makes the decision that it is best for him to not have sex before marriage, fine. If he has sex and realizes it was a mistake, at least it was his own mistake, and can begin to take responsibiltiy for his actions, and from that, he can learn and grow as an adult should.
I don’t blame him at all — religion wants to keep people controlled and infantile. I hope he can eventually lead the life he really wants and needs.
tjack47
I’m not a Mormon, but I married over religion. We were 18. We divorced at 20. We just communicated over Messenger this morning. Our divorce was in 1984. I had 2 longterm relationships with men afterwards. They may have ended, but everything about the love, affection, companionship and sex felt correct. I didn’t wait until I was 30. I was 21 in 1984 when I came out to everyone. I’m happy for him. I remember how protective his father was during his appearance on American Idol. Smothering is more like it.
bachy
David, you’re a beautiful, sensitive young man and a terrific singer. God is bigger than the fears and prejudices of any religion.
ShiningSex
He’s a loser.
He denied it for too long when we all knew.
He only came out after his career went NOWHERE!!! And nowhere it stayed.
Yawn!!!
Mack
ShiningSex thank you for your usual BS
Fahd
“Gay liberation” still has a long way to go, not only around the world, but in Utah and every other corner of America where homophobic religious nuts wield control — too bad that often comes down to family units.
God bless him for having the courage to be himself.
mz.sam
I’m familiar with David’s struggles since I’ve known strict and devout Mormons for years (who supposedly left the church but came back to their gay-denial ways) to the point I no longer have the patience nor sympathy for their brain-washed robotic upbringing.
Jere
The person referenced to whom Archuleta was engaged was female, so she was his fiancée, with two e’s. “Fiancé” with one e is applied to men.
ShiningSex
Girl…please! No one believes that was his FIRST time.
He’s so annoying!!! Go away!!!!
thisisnotreal
three comments on the same article, all hateful. we get it gurl, you dont like david. now pull your thong out of your bum and stop being such a hateful queen to one of our fellow homos.
linedrive
What’s wrong with you? How is he annoying you?
The real Bruce
The three comments that you have soiled this article with show you not to be shining at all and dubious of much sexual contact. Poor, bitter bore! It shows YOU to be the loser. One wonders what happened to you to turn you into such a mean spirit. Be happy for Mr. Archuleta that he is happy now.
LumpyPillows
SS is the one who should go away.
DBMC
Did he turn you down once? Why so bitter?
humble charlie
very sincere. very tragic. i hope he finds joy in his life.
The real Bruce
I am very happy that David has found his true identity within himself. It takes some people a lot of soul searching, prayer included, to discover what/who they are truly meant to be. I sincerely hope Mr. Archuleta finds someone who is out there just for him to be with. He is very talented and should be allowed to use his voice to better himself and the LGBTQ community, who should welcome him with open arms. Cheers.
LumpyPillows
He seems like a really kind soul. Best of luck.
Joshooeerr
The best thing this poor poppet could do for his mental health is STEP AWAY FROM THE GOD STUFF. It’s so sad reading about someone who has tortured themselves with “conversations with God” for a decade or more, until finally finding a way for “God” to tell them it’s okay to be who they are. This is pretty much the definition of mental illness, yet millions are still doing it to themselves every day. Just STOP!!!!!!!!
Tad
I feel sort of sorry for this poor schlub. I mean, he’s still brainwashed and clueless and it’s insane that he’s just now coming out when he’s been in show business, the most welcoming of industries, for a decade. He’s always going to be a niche artist and will end up doing the state fair circuit and small towns, but at least he may find happiness with another man and live a full, rich life. Or not.
RyanMBecker
“experience with his fiancé…”
I was confused by that. If he was still closeted, why would he marry a man? I think you meant, “fiancée.”
Cam
The bigoted Mormon cult almost claimed another victim. Too bad it took him so long to figure out their game, but glad he finally did. Hopefully he will live his life and be free of their brainwashing.
radiooutmike
I can identify with him a bit as a lapsed Catholic and a former member of an evangelical Church.
I never knew I had a lot Catholic guilt, until I finally came out. My times in that other church was more difficult because they were actively looking to see if everyone was a homosexual if you were a single man and to some extent even if you were a single woman.
I don’t regret my relationship with my ex-wife or my children. I was always falling in love with people I became emotionally close to. Maybe I was demi-sexual/romantic? But more likely, I was a just deeply wounded, closeted young man.
I think the only regrets I have were the two or three times when I was young that my sexuality was questioned. I wish I had just said yes. But I’d get a panic attack and imagine my life crumbling before me.
I am glad David has accepted himself.
strap2900
Religion, responsible for more death and despair everyday. How can anyone think that it is a good thing?
Josh in OR
Yet another example of why forcing your child into a religion before they are capable of thinking for themselves is child abuse.