Cheeky Bastard

David Beckham Reveals Bruises on His Butt Cheek

THE SHOT — Uh oh, is someone getting kinky in bed? Please, Posh Spice is too perfect to be manhandled. “Sex is so 2006, darling,” we can hear her faintly say. So then who is responsible for battering the buttocks of Mr. Beckham? Well, besides being a poster boy for all things gorgeous, David happens to be an all-star athlete. And they tend to get pretty physical out on the field.


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  • gregger

    I think of several ways that his buttocks would get bruised. None of it has to do with sports or women.

  • Jeffree

    Maybe he fell off a barstool or a bike?
    P.s. He’s just become a dad, again. The newborn girl’s middle name is “seven” which of course is the number on his jersey. How posh!

  • dvlaries

    We’re sure it’s bruises and maybe not another of his already-too-many tattoos gone bad…?

  • mdthom

    I wouldn’t mind kissing the bruises to make them feel better.

  • davidyu

    I don’t understand all the fuss with David Beckham. Gay people should really start paying more attention to the hotter David – David Villa. He is a World Cup champion. Beckham is not. ;)

    Of course, link to his hotness is included:

  • merrill



    david villa ain’t hot!!!!!!!!!

  • Jeffree

    @davidyu: Villa *is* hot but Becks his own charm too (but that “he’s-on-helium” voice of DB’s is a bone-reducer!)

  • Red Meat

    @davidyu: He looks like a prick but I can’t say he is.

  • davidyu

    I’m pretty much obsessed with a few of the Barcelona players. I want to marry this one the most:
    But my friends don’t think Xavi is as cute as Villa. Villa’s my husband #2.
    Messi is husband #3. I admit he’s not immediately eye-catching, but the way he dribbles and shoots makes me feel naughty down there. He’s only the best player in the world after all. :)
    Once again, pictures included:

  • davidyu

    @merrill if that’s “ain’t hot” I’ll take ain’t hot any day. Different tastes make the world go round.
    @Jeffree I’m not saying Beckham is not hot but there are just too many hot soccer players out there to be myopic

  • merle

    Those shorts are superfluous, please have them removed immediately.

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