Thomas Araguz III, a Texas firefighter who died battling a blaze on an egg farm, leaves behind more than just mourners: His transgender wife Nikki Araguz of almost two years is now battling his family, which wants to keep her from getting any of his (likely substantial) death benefits.
With the usual scorn so often levied against trans people, Thomas’ mother Simona Rodriguez Longoria says her son’s marriage to Nikki is invalid because she was born a man, and Texas doesn’t recognize same-sex marriage, blah blah. Eight days after Thomas died, on July 4, his family filed suit against Nikki, claiming further Thomas didn’t even know she was trans until after they married; Nikki says he was well aware she was born Justin Graham Purdue, and her non-fully formed male genitalia were removed in an operation after their wedding day. (That she might be intersex and not trans throws a whole other wrench into this charade.)
Not helping things: Thomas’ first wife Heather Delgado, and biological mother to his two children, is aiding the family in the battle against Nikki — who ordinarily would receive Thomas’ benefits along with his children. The family’s attorney cites a 1999 law that says even trans people who change their gender remain, under the law, tied to their biological sex. And of course there are the claims Nikki — THE SCARY TRANSGENDER WOMAN — “deceived” Thomas.
While Nikki and her late husband’s family head back to court on Friday, a judge granted a temporary emergency restraining order barring Nikki from spending any funds tied to Thomas or even removing any property from their shared home.
How about we take this to the next level?
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In the end, nobody wins.
[ABC News]
Daniel
…and this is why trans rights are gay rights, and gay rights are human rights. In the end we’re all fighting for the same thing: fairness, equality, and justice.
bluenosedive
This story pisses me off. -_- Its always sad to see families try and prevent mourning widows and widowers from healing by throwing bullshit like this at them. Just because they are queer.
Endless Men
so sorry for her 🙁
Amber LeMay
What’s even worse is I happened to be listening to Laura Ingraham (no that’s not the worse part)and heard her comments. Disgusting.
David
Dicken’s Beadle in Oliver Twist said it well; “The Law is a Ass!”
I’m 100% on the side of the lovely and charming Mrs. Nikki Araguz. And contrary to what anyone may say, ya can’t be married to someone for 2 years and not know that your wife is transgender.
Evidently, the previous wife was not as desirable as Nikki, and the fact that the husband was happy with his choice of help-meet is reason enough to presume they were a happily married couple.
I’ve lived here in Texas long enough to know that its rural areas, particularly in the eastern areas, are quite barbarous when it comes to social interaction. Also, rural Texans are as resistant to any sort of social progress as are the most virulant Taliban mullahs in Afghanistan. Unfortunately, our state laws frequently reflect those constipated social attitudes, and I fear that Mrs. Nikki Araguz will be the next person to suffer the consequenses of the fundamentalist Conservative Republican majority in this otherwise beautiful state.
If I was to be a member of the jury of the trial that this case will inevitably end up, I’d probably judge the law to be faulty, as many of our state laws are, and find in favor of Nikki and her adopted children.
JustPointingOut
It seems like she’s intersexed, not trans:
“Nikki says he was well aware she was born Justin Graham Purdue, and her non-fully formed male genitalia were removed in an operation after their wedding day.”
Obviously this case has strong implications for transgender people too, but there’s no need to erase her identity as a intersex person.
Regardless this is a sad story. I hope that his wife is recognized by the law.
The Bony Man
@Daniel: Exactly, which is why I am always angry when anti-trans activists start posting here.
edgyguy1426
I wonder if his parents attended his second wedding which they deem ‘invalid.’
Jason
You mean to tell me, there’s a Latino family that’s bigoted and homophobic enough to try to take away clear benefits of a trans person who’s husband just died in this mourning stage? SHOCKING! (rolling eyes)
Now all you extreme liberals go wave the “BRING ALL THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS HERE” flag. Your liberalism has blinded you to the REALITY of what that would entail…and I can assure you (when you take off your rose colored glasses) it’s more of this style of bigotry.
Meanwhile, FREE THINKING Democrat gays like myself will stand up and speak up today before our culture becomes more backward as a result of inviting more backward (bigoted) cultures in.
Thumbs down away, Manhatten gays (who’ve never left SOHO)
Jason
“Unfortunately, our state laws frequently reflect those constipated social attitudes, and I fear that Mrs. Nikki Araguz will be the next person to suffer the consequenses of the fundamentalist Conservative Republican majority in this otherwise beautiful state.”
how much you wanna bet this families as democrat/liberal as they come? probably view the arizona law as “racist” but have no problem with this type of prehudice. I gotta agree with poster above. why do all gays think homophobia is strictly the “rural, conservative, white, small town” nah, sometimes it’s the brown people too. actually, most times.
Read more: http://www.queerty.com/dead-firefighter-leaves-behind-transgender-wife-his-family-wants-her-kicked-to-the-curb-20100720/comment-page-1/#comment-325658#ixzz0uHTMrg7t
Mike L.
@Jason: Hey don’t throw all latinos under the bus w a blanket statement like that. Yes her in-laws are a bunch of bigots, but it would’ve been the same if they were white, black or asian conservative ppl.
I hope she get some sort of justice, but it sadly looks like Texas being Texas it may be a hard road, and sadly it’s probable that justice and equality will not triumph once more in Texas.
thematics
@Jason: have you heard about the large number of Mex-ican men who cruise adult bookstores late in the evening?
It’s simply shocking. You musn’t go to such places any longer
p.s. wal-martz has a cou-pon in today’s newspaper for aluminum foil, so you can make lovely hats to keep the angry voices in your head at bay!
Matt
Wow. Yet another reason for Texas to go fuck itself.
Oh, wait. That’s probably illegal there, too.
peteNsfo
So, never recognizing a gender change has got to be a TX law, right?
Well, first I’m sorry for the loss of Thos Araguz, who likely would be horrified, and for his family members, who are obviously in pain.
The judge should have taken a middle-ground here… why should his LEGAL wife be held completely hostage by these people, regardless of their motivation? The law just makes me crazy sometimes.
And, Jason… bigots come in all shapes & sizes; social classes, families of origin, etc… you need to find a kinder way to look at the world, ‘cuz it’s the only one you’ve got, doll.
Jane
Too bad his family is a bunch of ghetto thugs. I’d honestly investigate their status in the U.S if I were HER lawyers. If they want to make bigoted accusations in the court room, so should she, and the status on every single one of them.
Tom Sawyer
You are what you are born. You cannot change your DNA w/ an operation.
Kevin
How that a family isn’t willing to recognize their dead son’s wishes. Clearly he was aware that the death benefits would go to his wife, and he was fine with that. Clearly he was aware of her inter/trans status or else he would have divorced her between their marriage and his death. I mean, he obviously had no problem with divorce, having already had one. If his family wants to judge, that’s their right, but it gives them no legal standing. Complete garbage that the judge would even hear the case.
Noah
I am wondering where the statement “non-fully formed male genitalia” came from. Is there somewhere where she says this? That’s not what she said in the video. She says she had a birth defect, which is how many transsexual people experience their anatomy. It doesn’t mean she was intersex, however.
Tina
Way to go Queerty. You’re getting the hang of articles about trans folks that aren’t offensive 😛 Good journalism.
A. Smith
The more I read the background story on this the more it breaks my heart. Note: this woman changed her name 14 years ago and, with reports conflicted, had GCS. Then she had a magazine that was Chamber of Commerce certified and had ran for mayor.
Now in a time when mourning should be done over her husband, business like this is thrown out to discredit her totally forgetting that the departed had children. In most instances anyway the children get the inheritance anyway. However, to bring up someone’s past like this when it’s unnecessary is shameful on the accusing party and the Media for turning something personal into a feeding frenzy.
Hotlanta006
deport the family back to MEHICO where they can have all their antiquated wishes. they picked the wrong country to be bigots in- because we’ll fight back here.
Mike L.
@Hotlanta006: Dude how can you even make an assumption like that, oh yeah they’re hispanic so they must not be Americans.
I would expect more from my LGBT community seeing as we know a little bit about stereotypes and being demonized for political purposes.
I understand these idiots should be called out on their bigotry, as well they should be humiliated on national tv for their actions, but that was a tad racist.
I wish Nikki the best and to those two little kids I wish for them not to grow up to be bigots like their mother and extended family.
axos
I can’t see why the family has any stake in this, they are not heirs anyway. But more importantly: He loved his wife, he married her, and that should be enough. He was obviously physically attracted to her. They married, and the widow and the kids should be the beneficiaries. End of story.
How a grieving family could go against the dead person’s wishes is beyond me. They are beating his grave. Awful. No matter what their personal views are – he was the one who died, the money to inherit was his (he died for them), and they should show respect for him and his wife. Where is the love?
Ash
“claiming further Thomas didn’t even know she was trans until after they married”
What difference does that even make? He married/remained married to her, which shows that he was accepting that she was trans regardless of when he found out. Get over yourself, Woman, your son married this woman so she deserves everything that any other widow would receive.
And, yeah, Mother, why don’t you give this woman some time to grieve? Btw, shouldn’t you be grieving too, instead of attacking your dead son’s spouse?
Sergio
@Jason: You’re being ridiculous.
I don’t understand how half of these comments can be homonationalistic. If the family was white, would you be saying the same thing? Because they happen to be hispanic all hispanics (all immigrants from Mexico even) are bigots. This is the most ridiculous shit I’ve ever read. YOU’RE the bigot.
Michael
If death benefits were not involved, would the family be looking for return of gifts, such as the wedding toaster oven? Never fails. Money brings out the best in people. Might as well go for it, after all, their son won’t be complaining. Geez.
truthreller
@ jason #9.
FUCK YOU!
Are you aware Mexico city is the first city in Latin America to legalize gay marriage and Argentina the first country in the Americas to legalize it? The enlightened US just passed prop 8.
You are a racist who will use any opportunity to attack those scary brown people you hate so much. You are no different than haters who compare gays to pedophiles and junkies.
How do you jump from US citizens who happen to be Latino, in a dispute, to this?
‘Now all you extreme liberals go wave the “BRING ALL THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS HERE” flag.’
You do it because you are a racist, that’s why.
“Meanwhile, FREE THINKING Democrat gays like myself will stand up and speak up today before our culture becomes more backward as a result of inviting more backward (bigoted) cultures in.”
This culture is plenty backwards and bigoted and Latinos had nothing to do with it:
The Tea Party, Phelps, NOM, the Republicans, Don’t ask don’t tell, the ban on gay marriage, the closeted pols who fight against gay rights, the Christian right, Racists like yourself, homophobes, xenophobes, slavery, the witch hunts, prop 8, SB1070, the youth suicides all over the country, just to name a few things.
And some still wonder why Latinos don’t stand up for your rights en masse?
In second thought, you are probably a Republican homophobe passing himself as a Gay Democrat in order to inject your poison in the community to try and divide us.
shanelle
@Truthteller. Jason’s bisexual Mexican mom married a blackman, which helps explain why Juason possesses so many racistic biphobial xenophobical thoughts.
Severe organic brain disorders are known to cause such symptoms as well as being –oops– dropped on the head.
How can one person spend so much time hating so many people is beyond me!
lookyloo
@Jason: Jason, looking past your use of CAPS and your aggressive style, you actually have a good point. In general, Hispanics are strongly Catholic and have conservative ‘family values’. The Evangelical Christians and the Catholic church are not-so-hardcore regarding immigration laws as their right-wing friends because they want the rising Latino population (and money) in their pews and it won’t be hard to get them. So, while most Latinos lean Democrat, their views towards Homosexuality and Transgender-ism(?) is pretty conservative. If it’s easier for illegals to get legal/voting status, combine their already conservative views with pressure from their churches and it won’t be good for us. It would behoove the LGB(andT) community to start focusing on relating to and educating away the bigotry of these potential voters and campaign contributors.
jimmy
@truthreller: There is little to make sense of what jason says, except to a certain extent what lookyloo pointed out, but lets not forget that religious dynamics are far less limited to latinos are catholics, ok lets get some latino conservatives. The catholic church isn’t as powerful as it used to be, especially in the Americas were you can have a lot of disparities between factions, this is why the Americas are such fertile grounds for alternative religions, some more open minded, but especially some traditionally white and gender/sexual repressive like evangelical and Mormon churches. My advice to bigots that happen to be gay *facepalm* his to make a better job to bridge those social divides that your religious opponents are already doing and beat them at their own “game”. Look at how pitiful the westboro church is(they are a bunch of inbreeds).
eemne
That poor woman just lost her husband, why cant the family be more understanding? I believed since they has been married for 2 years, meaning they are truly in love, the family should learn how to accept her, even for the dead son sake.
Cam
Can you imagine how many families and ex wives would sue to stop a new wife from receiving benefits if they could?! This story is ridiculous. We get it, they didn’t like his new wife, so what, he gave you all the finger and married her anyway so fuck off.
gina
@Noah:
She said it on the long, unedited interview with the local ABC affiliate. Whether that means she technically Intersex or not is up to interpretation.
http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/video?id=7563539&syndicate=syndicate§ion&cmp=FB-news-7563539
Nila
@JustPointingOut: How can he be intersex when he never said what It had specifically. Their is no medical documented proof that he is an intersex person other than saying he had genital surgery.
As an Intersex person, I smell a transgender wannabe who’s trying to deflect responsibility for his transsexuality and all his lies. I think Nikki is using the Intersex card as an excuse or alibi for his transsexuality.
gina
@peteNsfo:
Actually, Texas law has been amended since the Littleton vs. Prange decision:
(I’m quoting Cristan Williams the head of Houston’s Trans Center)
“In 2009, lawmakers (in H.B. No. 3666) changed the Texas family code to permit an applicant for a marriage license to use a sex change court order to nullify the birth certificate gender.
Sec. 2.002. APPLICATION FOR LICENSE. Except as provided by
Section 2.006, each person applying for a license must:
(8) an original or certified copy of a court order
relating to the applicant’s name change or sex change;”
I suspect Nikki’s admission that her and her husband got married shortly before she had her SRS is going to sink her claim they were legally married. And yes, it’s a horrific story and my condolences on her loss and having to put up with this cr*p/
Nila
@JustPointingOut: Well, how can you claim he’s intersex when he never said up front what intersex condition he has said. I think he’s trying to use the intersex excuse to deflect the real truth and that is he’s a Transsexual who duped a fire captain into marrying him.
missanthrope
” How can he be intersex when he never said what It had specifically. Their is no medical documented proof that he is an intersex person other than saying he had genital surgery.
As an Intersex person, I smell a transgender wannabe who’s trying to deflect responsibility for his transsexuality and all his lies. I think Nikki is using the Intersex card as an excuse or alibi for his transsexuality.”
As an intersex person can you at least respect HER identity with FEMALE pronouns? As a trans person I smell someone with an axe to grind and who has no sense of respect for people.
In the big picture it doesn’t matter if she’s intersex or not, it’s none of our business. She’s been forced to reveal that PRIVATE information because the courts/media/relatives have outed her. Her status is not up to public debate.
Nila
@missanthrope:
No and as an Intersex person, I don’t respect anyone who plays the intersex card without having independent verification that they are real and Actually BORN Intersex. As an Intersex person, I am very much offended when I hear transsexuals and transgender people using the intersex excuse to deflect responsibility and not telling the WHOLE TRUTH. I am especially offended that someone like Justin aka Niki who would claim to be intersex without any documented medical proof.
The big picture is that Justin aka Nikki has no legal standing in Texas and in Texas he is not a Woman under Texas Law. So he has no right to the dead firefighters death benefits and they are not legally married because Texas dose not recognize Same sex marriages. On top of that Texas law see Nikki as a MAN because under Texas law, regardless of how many surgeries you have, You are still considered your birth gender and Chromosomes are the determining factor.
Jaroslaw
#17 Great points Kevin and I can’t agree more that his family DOES NOT have a stake in this. In fact, as others have said, it dishonors his memory. He loved who he loved and that should be respected.
However, if he did have a previous wife & kids I would think he would have, at the least, had child support obligations and therefore some of the money should be given to his previous family.
L.
They had it in them to go after this poor woman a week after their son died? Talk about brief grief.
I really, really hope Nikki will prevail. I wouldn’t bet she will, but I sure as hell hope so anyway.
Jaroslaw
Sorry – just watched the video – it wasn’t playing before. If she had the operation after they were married as she says, that seems easy enough to prove.
My question now, Nikki says she never considered herself a man – so it can be assumed she grew up as a girl?
axos
@Nila: I think that you, as an intersex person, should show some respect and empathy. You sound like a newborn Christian bigot, throwing an outdated law book at someone who has lost her spouse for something that does not matter.
BenR
In every state whose laws I’m familiar with, your sex is legally changed when you have gender reassignment surgery under the approval of a surgeon and a psychologist. You simply present a letter from your surgeon indicating that you have gone through an irreversible surgical alteration to bring you in line with your desired gender (which can be almost any transgender surgical procedure, genital or not) to a judge and the change is made. Many states even allow for the full amendment of the original birth certificate, thereby symbolically erasing the incorrect gender from the individual’s history.
I’m intrigued, therefore, to see this alleged Texas law to which the family’s attorney refers. I have never heard of such a law anywhere else.
axos
I’m intrigued by this crazy family behaving like Nikki was some kind of gold digger, marrying her fire fighter husband just to be able to reap benefits in the case he should die. It’s ridiculous.
Nila
@axos:axos, I think you should stop playing the Intersex card because that to me amounts to playing the Race card. Nikki is not an Intersex person and as an Intersex person, I am deeply offended that a transsexual would try and claim intersex to deflect their transsexuality and responsibility.
As an Intersex person, I am very much offended that any transgender person is trying to claim intersex. I have no sympathy for liars and transgender people like Nikki who Lied throughout his entire life. He deserve Nothing since he lied and under Texas law, his marriage is a SHAM. Texas dose not recognize him as a woman and as such, he is not entitled to womanhood.
I do not respect liars and frankly as an Intersex person Nikki doesn’t deserve any Respect from the Intersex community. Throwing out the Intersex card is in excusable and frankly is throwing lie after lie. It amounts nothing more than throwing out the Race card when someone is caught with a Lie.
Noah
Nila, are you familiar with the concept of horizontal hostility?
I understand that you are oppressed as an intersex person and that it is frustrating if a non-intersex person claims to be intersex when they are not experiencing your oppression.
However, your own oppressed status is no excuse for oppressing transsexual people. Referring to Nikki as “he” and calling her a liar is oppressive and has no place on this site.
If you cannot engage in a respectful discussion, please take your hostility elsewhere.
Brian in BK
@Nila: This is intended to be a legitimate question from someone who respects the intersex and trans communities but isn’t intersex or trans: Is it common for trans people to claim some intersex condition as a reason to have surgery and/or transition?
Also, I’m assuming that some of the flack you’re getting is because you don’t seem very sympathetic to this woman’s plight. I would hope you do have some and you’re just trying to make a broader point.
shanelle
Nile writes just like Jason. Hmmmmm. so do 9 other posters on this thread, possibly 11. Those posts usualy come one after another with a different name we never saw before.
I hope the widow gets every dime she deserves.
shanelle
I meant Nila.. I should not try to bake scones while typing.
Nila
@Noah: How would you feel if someone threw out any card on you such as Race and sex card, even though you have no natural birth right to claim it. That’s how I feel as an Intersex person when I here some transgender person trying to claim intersex. When they weren’t born an intersex person and doesn’t even have an Intersex condition to begin with. That’s like a white guy trying to claim native American so he can get a cut of the casino money.
missanthrope
“No and as an Intersex person, I don’t respect anyone who plays the intersex card without having independent verification that they are real and Actually BORN Intersex. As an Intersex person, I am very much offended when I hear transsexuals and transgender people using the intersex excuse to deflect responsibility and not telling the WHOLE TRUTH. I am especially offended that someone like Justin aka Niki who would claim to be intersex without any documented medical proof.”
Yeah some trans people use appropriate intersex identities (and it’s wrong) and some people are actually both trans and intersex.
However, that’s no reason to misgender someone, that’s stepping over the line no matter what a person does. And if really intersex, you’d understand that.
lol, medical records? Either your stupid or your just a troll. Why don’t you post your medical documents? Put up or shut up.
missanthrope
“On top of that Texas law see Nikki as a MAN because under Texas law, regardless of how many surgeries you have, You are still considered your birth gender and Chromosomes are the determining factor.”
Actually that’s not true. Lawerence v. Texas was overturned last year when the Texas legislature changed Texas Family Law. So Texas isn’t deciding sex upon chromosomes anymore.
axos
@Nila:
I don’t even know what the “intersex card” is, or why anyone would say she’s intersex if she’s transgender, and what “responsibility” she would then avoid. I suppose you would recognize both transgender persons and intersex persons the right to self-identify, would you not? Well, Nikki has self-identified as a woman, and you will have to respect that. As for medical records, she doesn’t owe you anything, like you don’t owe us anything.
Stop the hostility and harassment. Nikki loved and lost someone, and you are here nitpicking about labels. If you want respect and solidarity, you show that yourself.
Jaroslaw
Thanks Missanthrope & Axos. I really don’t understand why Nila is so bitter. Nikki did not marry this guy on the slight chance of cashing in on his benefits.
Jadis
Eugh, I’m intersexed (karyotype done and everything) and Nila doesn’t speak for me. People like that are usually insecure about their own identity and so have to kick down others to make themselves seem legitimate. It’s pretty sad, actually.
Nila, you’re nearly a laugh, but you’re really a cry.
Carlyloo
After reviewing the content of the interview I do not believe this woman specifically claimed either an intersex- or trans-identity. Also, as has been mentioned a person can hold both identities. I have a student who is medically considered an XY-female. Xe identifies as both intersex and trans as xe is comfortable with their physical body but feels both masculine and feminine at different times. Also, an intersex person can be raised as one gender/sex and then decide to undergo surgery, hormone treatment, and gender reassignment later. It is still a gender transformation often accompanied by physiological transformation. Either way the woman in this story is a externally physical female and woman now. Whether the state will recognize the time frame of that change for the purposes of marriage is unclear. In some states an offical gender/sex change can talke place before surgery takes place. I simply don’t know enough about current Texa law to speak to that. No matter what the parents and ex wife in this story are disgusting and disrespectful people.
truthreller
@lookiloo
You and Jason are two peas in a pod. Your choice of words seems less aggressive but the underlying message is the same. Hostile and Racist!
You turn this tragedy about a family into an immigration issue, when it has nothing to do with it, and you do that because of the ethnicity of the part of the family you disagree with. You conveniently ignore the husband was Latino!
How would you feel if the media who doesn’t like your side turned this story into “those predatory homosexuals and she-males who lie and take advantage of real men and their sinful way of life?”
That is what you just did to the Latino part of that family.
“If it’s easier for illegals to get legal/voting status, combine their already conservative views with pressure from their churches and it won’t be good for us.”
Illegals?
Not having documents is not an innate part of a person. You use the label, illegal, as an adjective to demonize “those” people and to make yourself feel superior to them. Also not having immigration documents is an administrative violation, not a criminal act.
Where is your proof this family are not citizens?
You write:
“It would behoove the LGB(andT) community to start focusing on relating to and educating away the bigotry of these potential voters and campaign contributors.”
I say, it would behoove the LGBT community to start focusing on education away the bigotry and xenophobia on their own who fancy themselves superior in intellect and status to Latinos because those gays damage the bonds amongst all cultures and divide us. Their ignorant bigotry make it impossible for others to support us.
Jadis
Er zijn geen onwettelijke mensen; er zijn alleen onmenselijke wetten
There are no illegal humans; there are only inhuman laws.
Margaret
Where is the progress we are suppose to have made since 1970? I am sick of fighting for my rights time after time, just to have some asshole tell me I can do it because I was male! I am a woman and I want to be given my damn rights guaranteed me by the constitution of the United States Of America. I fought for my country and I demand to be recognized as a full citizen of this land as the gender I represent. Enough! already. You right wing nuts are evil and I hope you all go to the hell you say exists for all the cruelty you have put on us GLBTQ people. We are no better then anyone else and we are no worse then anyone else. Who gave you the power to be A GOD!? If you don’t like us because we are different then fine, but stop this abuse! Nikki is a woman too! and she is a grieving widow! she deserves to be respected for who she is and give her what her husband wanted her to have. You sick people did this to others in our community also Mrs Capella Adams when her husband was killed in Ft Campbell, KY beat to death! some years ago! You can play your games over and over but it comes back to the fact we use to be a different birth sex. We just corrected what nature did by mistake. I hate bigots, I hate bigots! you mean people! I hate Christians! the more and more my rights are denied! You may not agree! but we are humans are deserve some respect!
Margaret
Where is the progress we are suppose to have made since 1970? I am sick of fighting for my rights time after time, just to have some asshole tell me I can do it because I was male! I am a woman and I want to be given my damn rights guaranteed me by the constitution of the United States Of America. I fought for my country and I demand to be recognized as a full citizen of this land as the gender I represent. Enough! already. You right wing nuts are evil and I hope you all go to the hell you say exists for all the cruelty you have put on us GLBTQ people. We are no better then anyone else and we are no worse then anyone else. Who gave you the power to be A GOD!? If you don’t like us because we are different then fine, but stop this abuse! Nikki is a woman too! and she is a grieving widow! she deserves to be respected for who she is and give her what her husband wanted her to have. You sick people did this to others in our community also Mrs Capella Adams when her husband was killed in Ft Campbell, KY beat to death! some years ago! You can play your games over and over but it comes back to the fact we use to be a different birth sex. We just corrected what nature did by mistake. I hate bigots, I hate bigots! you mean people! I hate Christians! the more and more my rights are denied! You may not agree! but we are humans and deserve some respect!
missanthrope
@missanthrope:
Opps, I made a mistake, the judgment in a court case that was contravened by a new law was the case of Littleton v. Prange. The decision made chromosones the determinant of sex in some parts of Texas for the purposes of marraige. It has been voided by an addition to the Texas Family Code.
Dawson
In the end, it all comes down to the law. You have to throw the emotions aside. Does Texas have a law that recognizes post op transexuals as the sex they desire to be. Doubtful. If she is still recognized as a man by Texas state law then the marriage is null, and the family has the legal right to challenge her receiving his benefits. Unfortunately, the law and justice don’t normally go together in social issues.
axos
@Dawson:
Sounds logical, alas. But several posters have claimed the law does not actually say that anymore. And – how did she get a marriage license in the first place? If Texas married them, it married them. Thomas Araguz believed himself to be a married man.
And regardless of that – ethically, the family’s decision to challenge their son’s marriage after his death is an act of disrespect for him and his choice and an attempt to enrich themselves at his expense. They have no business trying to get their mitts on his and his wife’s stuff. But I’m sure you agree on that.
Jeff Smith
she was his wife. end of story. she should get the benefits
BenR
Just to toss this in here… there are a lot of people, gender specialists amongst them, who believe that transgender identity is simply a neurological form of intersexuality. So many of us forget that the mind is a physical thing too, constructed or synapses and fibers and real physical matter, and that it is just as possible to be neurologically intersexed as it is to be genitally intersexed.
Noah
@Nila: I agree that transsexual people without a documented intersex condition shouldn’t refer to themselves as intersex because that denies the specific experiences that intersex people have.
However, transsexual people are born with a brain sex that does not match their physical sex. This is a physical condition that is as real as intersex conditions. “Birth defect” is a perfectly valid way to describe the situation.
When Nikki was talking about her underdeveloped genitals, I have little doubt she was referring to her lack of a vagina as opposed to an atypical penis. She did have underdeveloped genitals for her.
The fact that transsexual people describe the physical nature of their transness does not necessarily mean they are appropriating intersex identities.
When you call her a man and a liar, you are denying her lived experience and calling all transsexual people deceivers. To the extent that trans people appropriate intersex experiences, that probably has a lot to do with being sick of being called mentally ill “liars”. It’s frustrating to have a real, physical condition and have people tell you it’s all in your head.
ProudCanadian
@Truthreller
FYI, Mexico City was not the first city in the Americas to legalize same sex marriage, nor was Argentina the first country to legalize same sex marriage. That honour belongs to Canada. 10 out of 13 provinces legalized between 2003 and 2005, and same sex marriages have been legal nationwide since July 20, 2005. In fact, Canada retroactively recognized a same-sex marriage performed on Jan 14, 2001 in Toronto making it the first one in the world. Mexico City came on board this year, and Argentina only joined the party yesterday.
Marie
Thanks to all those straight heterosexual high and mighty folks out there, I’ve finally had it and I’m beginning to get angry… I am sick of Heterosexism.
Who is to say I can’t decide to go on the offensive:
This person is tired of HETEROSEXISM. I would like to officially lay the claim that oppressors of gay rights are no different from any pimp out there that forces any man, woman or child into the sex trade.
How and why is it that they can continually dictate who I, or anyone else for that matter, should sleep with. A person’s sexuality is not a ‘lifestyle” choice – it is strictly a given. How dare they.
Who are heterosexuals to label themselves the status quo / the cultural pillar / the antropological norm?
Signed,
Fed Up.
Zoe Brain
Nila by the way is noted troll and internet stalker “Nicky” AKA Nick K.D. Chaleunphone, AKA Komododragon, AKA several hundred sockpuppets. He makes it a career to denigrate Intersexed people, while claiming to be Intersexed himself. Sometimes it’s Kallman syndrome, sometimes it’s Klinefelter syndrome, sometimes he’s “a tomboy”. That is, when he’s not talking about manipulating his genitalia on his blog, or engaging his nappy fetish. Or threatening people with violent attack, as he’s done on some firefighter blogs.
He’s more than the usual troll – he has a clinical obsession with the subject, and may be quite dangerous.
james_from_the_great_city_of_cambridge
Congratulations Jason. You’re on your way to hating the entire human race.
Here’s a brief run-down of the groups you continually attack on Queerty (clearly some months ago you got lost on your way to Freerepublic and decided to stay).
1) Blacks. Your number one group for vicious attacks.
2) Women. All women, Lesbian, bi, straight. Close second in terms
of your vicious, irrational, attacks.
3) Now we can add Mexicans. Whose next? Asians? Dwarfs? Star Wars
geeks??
As you can see, nobody is buying your disgusting arguments (nor those of your alters revupman, alwaysgay, jesse helms (which you’ve abandoned recently). Nila is most definitely one of yours too. She has the same tone you do. You have to get smarter Jason because, in fact, all your aliases sound exactly the same. You’re not even smart enough to troll correctly; the trick is to make your aliases sound like different people. You Republican trolls can’t do anything right…
Cindy Capleton
@Zoe Brain: Zoe, your not even an intersex person either. In fact Zoe, your a Middle aged transsexual with an Identity crisis. The fact is Zoe Brain is actually Alan Brain from the UK who was born a MAN.
Zoe Brain is a Transsexual with an Identity crisis. That is because Zoe likes to think he’s an Intersex person and claims to be so much and have so much. Zoe likes to claim that he has spontaneous intersex, Natural intersex or even trying to claim he has an Intersex like condition. Zoe likes to claim intersex because Zoe thinks he can get away with claiming intersex when he isn’t one to begin with.
Zoe is an internet Troll and one who trolls the internet trying to validate his existence onto people. The problem with that is Zoe likes to cut and paste facts that suit his own agenda and not the the truth. The reason for this, if Zoe ever posted the truth, it would become his own inconvenient truth.
Syl
@Amber LeMay: What’d that hateful half-wit have to say? She and the family can all go to Hell-if it exists, it exists for hateful people like them.
Also, wtf, the comments on this article! Fucking trollercoaster!
oatc
@bluenosedive: “This story pisses me off. -_- Its always sad to see families try and prevent mourning widows and widowers from healing by throwing bullshit like this at them. Just because they are queer.”
That’s not helpful for this poor woman. This was a heterosexual couple, a marriage between a man and a woman. Terming it queer says she isn’t a woman. And clearly a woman is very much what she is.
The queer angle is surely that the family is trying to say the couple were queer in order to discredit (and hurt) the widow, which is hateful.
Daniel: “…and this is why trans rights are gay rights, and gay rights are human rights. In the end we’re all fighting for the same thing: fairness, equality, and justice.”
Err, no, some trans rights are gay or lesbian or bisexual rights, but some are quite different from gay rights (such as those of heterosexual couples, or the right to having ones body changed to end the terrible dysphoria of transsexuality). But all trans rights and all GLB rights are human rights. Isn’t it really that if someone struggles to access human rights they should support others accessing their human rights too, because all human rights stem from the same principles. But, all too often the opposite happens, with a hierarchy operating whereby some feel that getting their human rights depends upon there being lower orders who are deprived of rights.
missanthrope: “some people are actually both trans and intersex.”
Since no one has definitely ‘defined “trans”, that’s a pretty specious claim. Some define it as including intersex, so, then it would not be possible to be both trans and intersex. But most intersex people have no issues around their gender, so would not agree, would not consent. And if you look at the official definitions of the medical gender-related condition (transsexuality) which some place under the trans umbrella, it say that intersex is an excluding condition – you cannot be transsexual if you have an intersex condition – if you are intersex and need reassignment surgery its because you are intersex. That’s pretty important to most of those in that position because the intersex condition is the explanation for their need, and they shouldn’t have to go through the protracted verification process that is (still, despite evidence that we physically have brains of the sex of our identity) imposed on transsexual candidates for that surgery (letters from psychiatrists who have no training to justify that, six months or more living in “gender role” beforehand, and often several other truly crazy demands from those with the power (like being over 21, having a stereotypical name, or dressing in a stereotypical manner).
oatc
@BenR: “In every state whose laws I’m familiar with, your sex is legally changed when you have gender reassignment surgery under the approval of a surgeon and a psychologist. You simply present a letter from your surgeon indicating that you have gone through an irreversible surgical alteration to bring you in line with your desired gender (which can be almost any transgender surgical procedure, genital or not) to a judge and the change is made. Many states even allow for the full amendment of the original birth certificate, thereby symbolically erasing the incorrect gender from the individual’s history.”
I’m afraid that there are many states, and countries, where things are not that simple, or enlightened. Where no change can be made even. And then there are other aspects you don’t mention that deny human rights: such as that courts may require the applicant to place newspaper advertisements announcing their application, which denies the privacy medical conditions (and even more so medical conditions with sexual connections that are demonised by some pressure groups) should have.
oatc
At http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/video?id=7563539&syndicate=syndicate§ion&cmp=FB-news-7563539 Nikki Araguz says she had, prior to surgery, the genitalia of a two-year-old male. From her appearance, manner, and voice I would say that seems very likely to have been true. It would also not have been a condition that could have been “corrected” in the direction of making her a functioning adult male, even if she had wished that, which she wouldn’t. Most likely it would have been caused by either partial androgen insensitivity, or congenital adrenal hyperplasia, both of which are 100% kosher intersex condition. Either way she was never a “man”.
She also was very clearly (if you watch her eyes, swallowing and head movements, both being very honest and struggling to answer questions that cut right across how she has thought of herself for all her life.
It is very, very wrong that anyone should be placed in that position – on television, in the public eye, accused of dishonesty at the point of being widowed and grieving, for any reason. That a lawyer is doing that for a family simply intent of depriving someone they hate of a share in the death benefits the deceased must have explicitly signed to go to his wife should be, IMHO, illegal.
Kika
This puts such a bad light on Texas b/c in reality only a small percentage is really that ignorant and ridiculous. I’m from Houston so of course I’m being a little biased, but this footage hardly portrays how Texas feels about gays. We fight for the rights too. I’m a straight female, but like many others, very supportive of gay rights. This whole situation is ridiculous. If only the firefighter could defend himself and his wife. 🙁
Margaret
And from what I know of Nikki Araguz she was the bread winner of the family and now she can’t get to her own damn money to feed herself or pay her bills. If anyone can her with any amount of donation the Transgender Foundation of America has set up a fund for the support Mrs Araguz until she is able to stand on her own again. This is and out rage! that the judge has stolen her bank account. The money she receieved that was from the firemans fund was not to the beneficiary. We all have beenificiaries. The Judge out right stole from Mrs. Araguz and he should be filed on for thieft. The family is just a bunch of money brubing worms! And the ex is the worst of them all. I just wish you knew Nikki, she is a great person and a great friend! We are praying for you Nikki, We love you 🙂
mssanthrope
“Since no one has definitely ‘defined “trans”, that’s a pretty specious claim. Some define it as including intersex, so, then it would not be possible to be both trans and intersex.”
I’m talking trans mostly in a transsexual context, not an umbrella term in this specific case.
I can’t speak for intersex people because I not one, but I have known people with Kleinfelters, AIS, etc who have also identified as trans. I have also known intersex people who don’t have anything to do with anything trans. There doesn’t seem to be conscensious about it and probably varies person-to-person since it’s a very subjective thing.
So I’ll that speak for being both intersex and trans.
“That’s pretty important to most of those in that position because the intersex condition is the explanation for their need, and they shouldn’t have to go through the protracted verification process”
I don’t exactly agree with the SoC and I don’t that anyone, trans or intersex, should have to go through a “verification process” to get what they need. This is a non-issue since in the GID diagnoses itself it says that doesn’t apply to people with intersex conditions.
RealXXY
@Noah Mmmmm, guess what? Transsexuals are “Intersex” as they have a “Disorder of Sex Development” and that’s the official line.
Now I’m not “Intersex” but those mindless fools called the “Medical Profession” just happened to dump the disease I’m treated for under the heading of “Disorder of Sex Differentiation” which common folk call “Intersex” damnit!
However the new nomenclature for all these “conditions” uses the much more acceptable to me phrase of “Disorder of Sex Development” and in a not very surprising move includes ever possible “disorder” out there including Transsexual, therefore Transsexual are Intersex!
And Nikki in the YouTube video I saw stated she was Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (PAIS) and is therefore “Intersex” by two ways, if she’s indeed Transsexual?
Just in case you want to know?
Tammi lawinter
I think most people are being ignorant… Do to niki being a speciallady like myslf. She is a widow a the end of the day they are legally married anything else is blabla bla… Niki take your case out of texas… Oh &i remember you niki 20 years ago on jerry springer as a yung girl goodluck sincerely tammi lawinter stamford ct…
danielle severson
give her my story to use in court that’s bull crap nevada has the same as texas but because my drivers license said female and I was dressed female I could not marry a women even with my birth certificate that says male so that is bull that the law is clear!
Alexis
@Nila: @Nila:
Then again, you’re not in this case and you’re not the one looking at the documentation.
Think before making dreadful false assumptions about human beings.
And whether she is intersex OR transgender, she is still a she.
No one is an “intersex wannabe”.
Most of this BS is just intersex people who LOVE to gossip about other intersex people ‘really’ being a transsexual.
There are probably a few transgender people out there who DO call themselves “intersex” for fear of rejection, but that would be an extremely small number. And the fact that you keep calling Nikki a “he” is the very reason as to why there COULD be some transgender people out there who DO, SIR.