Dear Gay Sperm Donors: Please Don’t Stalk The Lesbians Who Conceive Your Child

Karen B., a writer in Los Angeles, found her sperm donor using Craigslist. She eventually settled on Daniel C.’s baby makers, and they signed a gentleman’s agreement that he would be able to visit this child he had little involvement in creating. “But as the pregnancy progressed, Daniel interjected himself into the couple’s life, telling the doctor he was Karen’s husband, even though he was gay.” Uh oh!

Karen, who is a lesbian, and Daniel, who is gay, entered into the most unlikely of parenting arrangements, relays ABC News. Namely, says Karen, she was stalked by her sperm donor who became way too involved in her life.

After the birth, Daniel insisted Karen get a passport for the boy, so he could visit his native Brazil. When she refused, Daniel sued her for joint legal and physical custody.

Creepy! But after a $60,000 legal battle, Karen has some good news:

The courts eventually ruled in favor of Karen, allowing the sperm donor to visit twice a month, but Daniel’s involvement in her son’s life has continued to be problematic. In July, the Superior Court in Santa Monica, Calif. rejected Daniel’s claim under the California’s Sperm Donor Statute, even though his name was on the birth certificate. The court ruled that semen for use in artificial insemination or vitro fertilization for a “woman other than the donor’s wife” is legally not the “natural father.”

And while these outcomes can vary by state, because there’s no widespread legal policy about whether sperm donors enjoy full parental rights (even if everything is spelled out in a contract), it should go something like this: If you jerk off into a cup to give some random stranger the chance to have a baby, and at the time you agree to let that woman raise the child as her own, GET LOST.