That's So Gay

Dear Straight Girls: Stop Collecting Us

Non-sexual gay best friends are hotter accessories than labradoodles! We know how to dress our straight girl friends, console them, teach them how to give BJs, and deliver witty punchlines they’ll butcher when repeating them to their straight girlfriends. Watch Bryan Safi insult any girl who still thinks it’s trendy tobe able to say she “has gay friends.”

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  • edgyguy1426

    Wow. This was cool. I feel so USED!!!!!!!!!!

  • Cam

    Another thing. Remember when you come into a gay bar, that the men in there don’t want to sleep with you. Therefore the usual overly loud obnoxious, vomitting messlily in the bathroom, way you act in the straight bars is not as forgivable to a group of gay men. Straight men will forgive you anything if they think they will get laid. When you go into a gay bar try to hold it together please.

  • Mike

    Wow, a switchhitter on both Housewives and Degrassi. Come on Marco, who are you kidding?

  • sparkle obama

    when your ass drops you will need those girls.

  • ggreen

    Welcome gays to Stepin Fetchit land. Brought to you by Will and Grace, Queer Eye and the Bravo Network. This is why you can not meet men in gay bars anymore.

  • dgz

    yeah, who needs friends?

  • goony tunes

    actually, i collect them

  • DaveO

    And the straight boys – either put out or get out.

  • F123

    LOVE IT! More of this please..!

  • Bitch, please!

    I blame the gays who bring those girls into OUR bars. Hello! We go to a gay bar so we can be among our own kind and away from straighty! And why are those straight-hags (nelly queens with their fag-hags) always dancing with these girls? If I wanted to be around that, I would go to the real deal–a mucho macho straight bar, and not be around a bunch of nelly queens who think they look butch because they are dancing with girls. Queens, get a clue, you don’t have to pretend you are straight in a gay bar–we knew you were a sistah as soon as you sashayed in.

  • jason

    Oh, please, give me a frikkin break. The main reason we go to gay bars is to pick up. We’ve built a community based on a sex act.

    Yes, we do also go to gay bars for our protection. But my point is that we should be insisting on protection in mainstream bars.

    The gay community used to make a big deal about breaking down closet doors. Why, then, do we insist on building new closets in the form of segregated gay bars?

  • scott ny'er

    ok. that was funny. Not laugh at loud funny, but still humorous.

    I missed that Marco episode, can’t watch Degrassi, everyone is very “i told you so”.

    man, i think i need to hook up with a straight girl and become her gay friend.

  • alejandro

    he was so bad ass :D loved the vid!

  • Ima Peccable

    My fave part is the “half gay, half boner” stuff! Bi guys are the best!


    That is right we only want imitation women in our clubs! What is hysterical about this post and video is that both are boo-hooing over Tiffant Theisen saying that she doesn’t want to sleep with gay boys. THIS is what is making the queens so upset. Newsflash – the only people who fetishize males are gay men. Bitter queens suffer from narcissist fantasies that the whole world wants them. So go boohoo Queerty that women don’t find gay men sexually appealing. You sound like bitter teenage boys that hate girls because they can’t get a date. Maybe you prefer straight men to gay bash you. Gays sure love the straight men who would bash your head bloody on s curb and leave you for dead but just because you are socially inept and hate women because you envy them you spread divisive hate. Ick

  • ChristopherJ

    This was hilarious and witty. Ha!! I want more…

  • anyway

    Where can we get more of that host? Witty, gay and cute as a button? And he’s not Ellen. Sign me up.

  • Cam

    @jason: You said …No. 11 · jason
    Oh, please, give me a frikkin break. The main reason we go to gay bars is to pick up. We’ve built a community based on a sex act.

    Yes, we do also go to gay bars for our protection. But my point is that we should be insisting on protection in mainstream bars.

    The gay community used to make a big deal about breaking down closet doors. Why, then, do we insist on building new closets in the form of segregated gay bars?

    We don’t have segregated bars, we have bars that cater to people of similar interests. It would be like people complaining that a Martini bar only caters to people that like martinies. Straight people go to sports bars, biker bars, champaigne bars etc… are those bars segregated too? No, they are catering to people that have those tastes.

  • soccerchick

    I think this video is funny, i laughed (out loud even!) But it kinda makes me sad… gay men not want female friends? should we just avoid you at work and not be friendly incase we are seen as that annoying GBF portrayed in the video? I dont know i love my gays as people not as accesories and im pretty sure they love me back.

  • JF

    Not all gay men hang with straight women. I don’t go to bars and I find most straight women illogical. I’d much rather be with lesbians or even straight men who don’t have problems with gays.

  • jason

    I don’t agree with the notion that gay bars are justified on the basis of bringing together men with similar interests. What similar interests are you talking about? Sex? If that’s the case, then that merely confirms what I said in my previous post: that gay bars were established mainly for sexual pick-ups.

    If you want a gay community built on sex acts, that’s fine. But don’t pretend that this is what gay rights is about. A gay male community built on sex acts is no more about gay rights than a straight male community built on the Playboy Club is about straight rights.

  • WTF?

    Jason: MOST bars are a prelude to sex. Let’s not delude ourselves.

    JF: Yeah, I grew out of most of my hangers-on some time ago. Oddly enough, straight men are breaking even with gay men in my friend ratio these days. And those remaining gay friends are pretty much straight guys in most every way (except THAT one). As I get older, I have very little need for gal pals in my life. I’m just not there any more. Yeah, I have no clue about fashion anymore, or pop music (been living out of the country for a couple of years), and I don’t have the patience for any woman who could be described as a fag hag.

    None of this is a decree on how anyone should live their life. I’m simply stating my view.

  • meme

    perhaps straight women idealize gay mens’ appreciation of pleasure in life: pleasure in humor, fashion, sex, and cultural activities. it is likely that these women find these “pleasures” to be dulled and “functional” in their own lives. so the relationship becomes less about having the accessory than it does about worshipping the gay man’s lifestyle/pleasure in life.

  • taoofthemachine

    In my city there’s a designated area of town, pride square, in which all the gay bars within the city are located. To me this has always felt like a form of segregation.


    ok so this was a total no brainer to me, i totally agree and hate how gay men are the new sought after accessory.. especially since i have gay friends and absolutely love them to death. i actually feel closer to them than some of my best gfs because theres no jealousy and competition involved, and i’d like to think i give a different perspective on their lives as well. and so when they invite me to gay bars, i love going! and i cant see why it would bother gay men? we’re just there to party and have fun too, isnt that the point of clubs, besides the obvious being there to pickup..

  • Chloe

    As if. Straight women aren’t collecting you. It’s a two-way street called FRIENDSHIP and obviously people go out to bars, clubs, whatever with their FRIENDS. Get over yourselves. Sloppy drunk messes span the spectrum of sexuality and gender. Does it make you feel better about the stereotypes projected onto your community to reinforce the stereotypes projected onto others? Yeah, why don’t you hate on your straight allies and isolate yourselves…that’s definitely what gay rights and lgbt tolerance/acceptance needs. This is a disservice not only to the gay community, but to the furthering of tolerance/acceptance in general. Dislike.

  • Del

    Interesting. Comments like those from No.8 & 10 kill me from the sheer hypocrisy of it all. Perhaps we should start throwing gays & lesbians out of restaurants frequented by straight people. How about the local grocery stores too? Oh and the U.S. military should reinstate its complete ban on gays serving. I mean it’s been long established that they aren’t wanted there, right? (<-sarcasm)

    When you talk spit about how you don't want straights around you and how you hate straight women, please don't come out of your face later on asking for tolerance,acceptance,or even an open mind from heteros when you don't even have one yourself.

    Now in reference to the the clip above, perhaps on TV this GBF accessory thing is very in but in reality I don't know . . . I work in a place that brings both gays and straight women together and from my experience I have honestly never seen the women go out of their way to be friends or buddy buddy with the gay men. They pretty much treat them normally.

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