“Office” and “romance” are two words that when combined make any HR representative flinch and/or cringe (Diane, for instance).
But falling for someone you work with is pretty inevitable — you spend (way too much) time with your colleagues, and try as we might, it’s nearly impossible to stop that rush of excitement you get around a crush once it starts brewing.
Equally inevitable is an office romance crashing and burning. Casualties are to be expected.
So why are they such a good fantasy?
We wanted to hear from guys in various forms of workplace passion, so we asked Whisper to see what they could track down in the ‘ole filing cabinet.
Here’s what they found:
galatians328
Most of these people appear to lazy (daydreaming at work), thieves (‘stealing’ office resources), trespassers (sex in the office during or after work hours), sexual predators (admitting to sexual harassment of others at work, admitting to sex with those they supervise, etc). Hopefully they’ll get fired. They might even get some jail or prison time – where they might get all sorts of sexual action (otherwise known as prison rape) – or become homeless – through which they could get well acquainted with what it means to respect having a job.
Arcamenel
@galatians328: All of this.
Giancarlo85
@galatians328: Agreed. This is a terrible article and I hope these guys get fired or even prosecuted. There are many people who I am sure would appreciate having the job. The work place is where the utmost professionalism must be maintained. Your coworkers are to remain your professional colleagues.
And the way this said it is inevitable… Absolutely not. Some of us want to keep our jobs.
enfilmigult
@galatians328: Wait, who “admitted to sex with those they supervise”?
enfilmigult
(And it’s not trespassing to be in another part of the office during a party or to be in the office after hours, sheesh.)
onthemark
Oooooh… I guess you prudes are getting your sewing kits together to make Scarlet Letter A’s for all these fornicators. Jail, really? Are you guys living in the 17th century? What could you possibly throw them in jail for?
Seems to me the worst one is: “I slept [sic] with my boss in his office.” And that’s obviously the fault of the BOSS, not the guy writing in!
“Just had awesome sex with a coworker in the supply closet during an office party.” Office parties are contrived, enforced convivial bullsh*t that everyone is pretty much required to endure whether they want to or not. At least he had some actual fun!
“My straight coworker always acts gay towards me in a joke type way….” Hardly HIS fault in that case.
“I have a coworker who says he isn’t gay but flirts with me all the time….” Hardly HIS fault in that case.
The guy who says “I sexually harass my boss” was engaging in hyperbole (get a dictionary and look it up) because he immediately adds that his boss “thinks it’s a joke.”
The last guy – his boss flirts with HIM even though the boss is married.
Most of these are totally innocent. Do you think heterosexual people never get interested in each other at the office? HR does have rules about such things, but it’s almost never prohibited entirely.
Giancarlo85
@onthemark: Totally innocent? Oh please. And we are the prudes? Yes, you always have to be right. Do you realize some of us actually value our jobs? These guys obviously don’t and engage in sexual harassment. Maybe you’re the one who needs to get a dictionary… and probably a thesaurus while you are at it.
Giancarlo85
“HR does have rules about such things, but it’s almost never prohibited entirely.”
Aren’t you self employed supposedly? When was the last time you even had sex with a guy?
First off, in places I work you can’t be having sex with co-workers. Sorry, but it’s not allowed in most professional environments. It can screw up working relationships. And what happens when the sexual relationship/affair goes south and you still have to work with the guy every day?
Glücklich
Jeez! Really surprised at the strong reactions!
I haven’t engaged in a full fledged “romance”at the office – I came close once and we still date – but I mix business with pleasure with a (probably) unusual degree of frequency and it’s an open secret where I work.
Luckily I’ve never done any of my reports or my bosses, past or present, but I’ve hit the sheets with a few clients.
onthemark
@Giancarlo85: I had office jobs for many years. Have you EVER worked in an office? You drive around reading gas meters or something like that, by your own description, with hardly any human interaction (lucky for them), so what would you know about any of this? And I blew a guy last night, why do you want to know? 🙂
onthemark
@Glücklich: “Luckily I’ve never done any of my reports…”
I want that report “done” first thing in the morning!
Glücklich
@Giancarlo85
At the risk of raising your ire which I genuinely don’t want to do because I normally respect what you have to say, I’d encourage you not to engage in the argument I can already see brewing in the above comments. You’re SoCal, right? I’m sure it’s a lovely day out. Kinda overcast and muggy here.
Please don’t take this as patronizing as I don’t mean it as such, but you know the old axiom about negotiations, where whoever speaks the least is in control? It applies to arguments, too. Whoever walks away first wins, not whoever has the last word.
onthemark
@Glücklich: Hey, don’t say that! It’s raining HERE and I want some fun!
@enfilmigult: Yeah, I’m wondering if Galatians328 ever had office jobs at all (I know Giancarlo hasn’t), or ever worked past 5 at any point.
If your boss asks you to work late on an urgent project, that’s not “trespassing.” If the company entrusts you with keys, that’s not trespassing either in a legal sense, even if you were to go there after midnight specifically to have sex. (Probably against company rules, but why the hell would the legal system care? They wouldn’t.) And it’s clear there is no real harassment going on even if ONE whisper-er used the word ironically. Even if someone has sex with a married man (gasp!), well since it’s not the 17th century that’s not actually illegal either. So I wonder where the hysteria kicks in about throwing these guys in prison?
NoCagada
@galatians328: THEY SHALL BE WEATHERBOARDED IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST!
NoCagada
@NoCagada: WATERBOARDED
ANd, yes, it’s a joke
Glücklich
@onthemark:
Never had a desire to fuck anyone who reports to me. I don’t know if it’s a psycho-professional block or what but probably for the best. Most of ’em were assigned to work for me; I’ve hired only a few people from outside the company and they’re women so no problem there.
onthemark
@Glücklich: I agree with the boss angle. In my case it was always co-workers on the same level. (Personally I didn’t find this to be complicated, just fun.) But sure, can see how it might have been very different with a boss, and that’s generally what worries HR departments.
Bauhaus
@Glücklich:
In other words, you’re not a creeper.
Giancarlo85
@Glücklich: 97 F. So I’m staying in with the A/C on. There is only so much I can take of overcrowded beaches and the mall.
So I’d rather argue with you guys lol.
@onthemark: No I don’t. You really don’t have a clue what I do. You haven’t had sex in decades. Get real.
Giancarlo85
@onthemark: And I can’t believe you even tried that shit with me. You don’t even know what my job is because I never specifically brought it up. Get a life dude. You are utterly pathetic. You’re on here all the time.
onthemark
@Giancarlo85: I’m just going from what YOU have officially told us many times. (When for instance I pretended not to believe you even have a job. When I do believe it.) You’ve told us you drive most of the day in your job. You don’t work in an office. Yesterday was Providence Pride – no rain, fortunately – and yes, I blew a guy afterward because I’m a slut!
onthemark
“You’re on here all the time.”
I urge anyone here who’s bored enough to Google that one. I skip many days, and Giancarlo out-types everyone here by a long shot!
Sansacro
This f*&king whisper thing is totally B.S. made up by a guy with pathological phantasies that straight men are secretly gay.
Glücklich
@onthemark:
It only got complicated once because, although he wasn’t *my* boss, he was a peer of my boss and we were keeping it quiet. The rumor mill was already spinning anyway and then someone saw us out together…that’s an embarrassing conversation to have with one’s boss. It wasn’t against the rules or anything but it was one of those “it’s nobody’s business but make sure it doesn’t become a problem later.”
The rest is fun. It’s fun to have a little secret like that in the office even if everyone suspects something more is going on than collegial admiration.
“Mad Men” character Bobbi Barrett put it best, though I tweak it a little: It’s fun to go out and be bad, then go to work and be good.
SportGuy
If this is true, what I find most disturbing is that alot of these guys are partnered and cheating on their bf/husbands!!
McShane
@Giancarlo85: Really? So it’s 97 degrees outside, right now? At ten in the morning, ninety seven.
https://www.google.com/search?q=los+angeles+weather&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8
Ditamo
@Giancarlo85: If I ever fall in love with a coworker, and that person falls in love with me, there is no set of company policies in the universe that will make me not pursue that interest! No company will ever have that power over my personal life. Hopefully it won’t happen though.
onthemark
@McShane: LOLOLOLOL! Damn, that’s a good call.
Where did he get 97 from when it’s not even 80? I’ve wondered in the past if he suffers from Vitamin D deficiency. He says he uses a lot of eyeliner so maybe he’s afraid it will run?
@Ditamo: That’s a healthy attitude imho.
Sweetie Pie
@Rafa Sanam: Your mom must be a on-cam stripper…
Giancarlo85
@onthemark: I drive sometimes. It’s a mix of tasks. You don’t know everything and you do not know me. Stop pretending please.
@onthemark: Smart ass back at it. Again, I don’t even post in most of the articles. And I disappear for days.
@McShane: Well it was yesterday. Ooo… I didn’t realize I lived in Downtown. Another smart ass hit and run troll.
http://www.weather.com/weather/today/l/USCA0171:1:US
It’ll be about 93-94F today. Not quite the 97F it was before. But it’s already hotter than what it says. How do I know? I live here. You live out in the fucking boondocks.
Giancarlo85
@onthemark: I don’t live in downtown LA. Do you realize in the Valley and further in land (like in Pasadena) it gets a lot hotter?
Damn you guys try to be smart, but you end up looking so fucking stupid.
Nice one… but a total FAIL.
Giancarlo85
I meant it was 97F yesterday. I don’t live near a coast. Everybody goes to the coast in the hot weather and it’s father day weekend. No thanks. And I’m not going to the mall.
And vitamin D deficiency? Coming from a pasty ass white guy that’s hilarious. Yes I wear eyeliner… lolllll…. I wear bras too… lol
Bob LaBlah
To hell with Diane in HR. I want to hear what ol’ Nosy Edna from the lock “Adult Store” knows about them.
@Giancarlo85: I hear you also wear dirty panties. How long are you going to hang out at that McDonalds using their free wi-fi today?
Giancarlo85
@Bob LaBlah: No. I only wear clean panties… lol. I don’t do McDonalds… so you won’t catch me there while you eat those three big macs you ordered.
Giancarlo85
I found a pic of offthemark when he was younger:
http://immodiumabuser.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/sunburn-from-flash.jpg
McShane
Oh, I’m sorry, I’m allergic to bullshit apparently. Please, by all means, medicate me with some actual fucking sense.
Giancarlo85
@McShane: Then go get some actual fucking sense you idiot. Not everyone who lives in LA County lives near a coastline. But then again the closest you been to water was the local lake in whatever landlocked state you live in.
I have an outdoor weather station. It already saids 90F. So spare me the bullshit.
martinbakman
I was always a bit conservative. When married guys at work showed interest in me, I always was either confused or a little creeped out. I just didn’t understand as much about fluidity of sexuality as I do now that I read Kweer-Tea. Probably for the best I don’t pursue such interactions.
As far as actual office romances, my best fried met and married his wife at work and they later divorced. Had to be uncomfortable. Work might not be the best place to introduce love and sex dynamics. I don’t blame Diane for cringing at the idea.
onthemark
@Giancarlo85: It’s easy to look up these things, you know. Right now it’s 85 degrees in San Bernardino (!) and 87 degrees even in f*cking Palm Springs (!!!). And not expected to get much hotter than that. Downtown L.A. is nowhere near the coastline, everybody knows that (except you apparently). And your thermometer may not be properly set in the shade. This is so typical of the bullsh*t way you go about pretty much everything. Anyway it’s stopped raining here and since it’s the longest day of the year, I’ll go out even if you won’t, poor kid. If you’re agoraphobic and afraid to go outside, just say so, we’ll understand. 🙂
onthemark
@onthemark: Pasadena 85, expected high 90… etc.
Glücklich
Can all the Willard Scotts on here wrap it up? Either get back to the topic of this “article,” e.g. pros & cons and your personal experiences with office romance or take it to Weather Channel.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5FFOAlhhx8
Giancarlo85
@onthemark: My local weather station is up to 92F. It should go up more by the time it is 4PM. I don’t live in San Bernardino. Canoga Park is very hot.
http://www.wunderground.com/cgi-bin/findweather/getForecast?query=canoga+park%2C+ca – This agrees with my local weather station.
Downtown LA is close enough to be cooler than the San Fernando Valley (again you show how much of a moron you are).
You’re stupid. You think you have all the answers. My weather station is in the shade. You always think you have all the fucking answers. You are a moron with no understanding.
Giancarlo85
Wow offthemark is off again. Full of bullshit foaming at the mouth.
You are so FULL OF CRAP. In every sense. You lie ABOUT EVERYTHING. You don’t know everything. You live on the East Coast. You don’t know anything about LA.
I just smashed you with my last link by the way. The San Fernando Valley is significantly hotter than downtown LA, Santa Monica and San Bernardino.
In addition… Palm Springs:
http://www.wunderground.com/cgi-bin/findweather/getForecast?query=palm+springs%2C+ca – Palm Springs is 111F right now.
Do you have any other stupid shit you want to say, offthemark? Any more verbal diarrhea?
Giancarlo85
87F is not much hotter than 101F (oops I said 111F in the last post, well it could get to 111F in Palm Springs in a few hours lol)… you can’t make this shit up.
But I guess 100+F isn’t much different than 87F.
Offthefuckingwall lol.
Bauhaus
If you can’t beat ’em… Georgetown was hot and humid, but that didn’t keep the hotties from hitting the streets. Conservative men galore (if that’s your thing), artists, politicians, students, and hot men from all walks of life.
MarionPaige
Is there some kind of “hijack a topic” contest going on?
TWO THINGs
1. In New York City “HR” is an EEO Job for White Women. Everybody in HR in New York City is White, has no penis, lives on Long Island and ends up being killed by their husbands. In NYC, when we hear on the news that a White Woman is missing on Long Island, everybody knows that the b is dead and that her husband killed her. What is really, really, hilarious is when you go to a German based company or Japan based company in NYC and everybody is German or Japanese EXCEPT for the dumb White B who is head of HR.
2. I lusted after this fellow temp who temped at the same company I was temping at for years. I figured out years later that I had slept with the guy but didn’t remember it.
Chris
How a thread involving romance in the office morphed into a weather report is beyond me, unless it’s raining men.
But what I read is not that different than what happens with heteros — according to my straight family who work in the business world, they have sex in stairwells because of the thrill.
Anyways, humans are humans and they do what humans want to do. We all know the consequences of non-HR sanctioned forms of interactions; however, most places do not forbid these romances. They require disclosure and put in place boundaries to insure that no subordinate/boss things go on. And some smarter HR office require both parties to sign a statement that theirs is a consenting relationship and that if (when?) it goes south, both parties agree to hold the work place innocent.
Titillating because this is seemingly “forbidden.” But really, rather common if HR has policies in place.
Now if something involves a non-consenting adult — un autre chose, entirely.
Giancarlo85
@MarionPaige: You watch too much hallmark tv movies. Get back to reality.
Anyways, offthemark called me a liar, when he is the ignorant liar. Doesn’t surprise me he took off after making up those temperatures. Lol. Owned.
Bob LaBlah
@MarionPaige: “In New York City “HR” is an EEO Job for White Women. Everybody in HR in New York City is White, has no penis, lives on Long Island and ends up being killed by their husbands. In NYC, when we hear on the news that a White Woman is missing on Long Island, everybody knows that the b is dead and that her husband killed her. What is really, really, hilarious is when you go to a German based company or Japan based company in NYC and everybody is German or Japanese EXCEPT for the dumb White B who is head of HR.”
Before I get to your quote I ask all who are reading this: isn’t it awful how damn near every job in NYC and the surrounding area is a temp position? To give you an idea of how bad it is I used to drive a tractor-trailer seasonal (mid sept-dec 24th for five years) for UPS. I could NOT believe they actually got their union to go along with offering those positions to regular guys who drive the hustle trucks (the brown trucks that bring the packages) until eight years of service. The majority of those drivers burn out after three-four years and quit or get fired. As you can guess the tractor-trailer job is $80k per year with benefits so there is the incentive to bring me in at $1200 per week, no benefits till they no longer need me. The thing is they have drivers who are temp doing the same job for the same pay $1200 and have been there NINE years with the only option is IF YOU DONT LIKE IT THEN QUIT.
As for your description of the Long Island white woman who not only DOESNT make what she dresses like (Chinatown knock-offs are rampant) but seems to be totally alienated to public transit such as the LIRR. One dummy said it was too inconvenient for her not to drive while complaining about the backed up, hour plus long traffic jams. I tell you they simply don’t teach common sense to those people out there on Long Island. And lo and behold when they caught my southern accent. I had to tell one strait out “ma’am, I didn’t grow up on a plantation”. Quite a few others noticed my “funny accent” but couldn’t quite place it. Yes, I decided to do myself a favor and keep my ass in the truck. Freight don’t talk back.
Glücklich
@MarionPaige:
Oh my god. Generalize much?
Clearly you’ve never step foot in Nomura, Mitsubishi UFJ, Deutschebank, or Allianz to name just a few.
By your logic, everyone in BNP Paribas’ and Crédit Agricole’s NY offices is French.
Only CITIC, ICBC and the like are as you describe. They’re all Chinese, all imported from China.
TrueWords
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKIyFm0Pgfg
enfilmigult
@MarionPaige: I’m fascinated by “I figured out years later that I had slept with the guy but didn’t remember it,” ha ha. Do you mean before that job started, or during?
ggggb
@galatians328: Some of these comments seem genuinely unhinged. Doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. Jail time. Fired or even prosecuted? What are you people, crazy?
onthemark
Awwwwww… Giancarlo complains when I’m here, but he also complains when I LEAVE! (because unlike him I actually have a life?) – Go figure. Everything with GC becomes a personal opinion including demonstrable FACTS like the weather. I’ve never admitted this before on Queerty, but I had the misfortune of growing up in Southern California (inland!) and I know L.A., and its weather, quite well. In the ’80s I moved to the east coast because I like civilization.
Downtown L.A. is nowhere near the coast and is pretty FAR inland. Everyone knows that (as the Geico commercial might say). It’s funny that Giancarlo is so geographically “challenged.” Perhaps his GPS will direct him to drive off a cliff in the foothills.
onthemark
@MarionPaige:
@enfilmigult:
Yeah – “I figured out years later that I had slept with the guy but didn’t remember it.”
Keep a diary – you’ll always have something interesting to read.
Somebody famous said that, and it probably wasn’t Eleanor Roosevelt. Maybe Oscar W.
onthemark
To get back to the ACTUAL SUBJECT OF THE ARTICLE…
If we assume these “Whisper-ers” are for real, there is nothing illegal happening here. All the pearl-clutchers clucking about “prison” can get their smelling salts and take a nap.
Even in the HR sense of impropriety, it’s almost all quite innocent. At least, if you’re not living in Iran.
Giancarlo85
@onthemark: Well you’re the guy who said it wasn’t supposed to get any hotter than 87F in Palm Springs. Dude, what time of year is it? It’s June. Summer time. In fact it’s June 21st today, and Palm Springs has a 10 day forecast of no less than 105F. I’ve demonstrated facts. Pure simple facts.
You don’t know shit about LA apparently. Downtown LA is NOT that far inland. Drive a bit and you’ll end up in Santa Monica. It isn’t that far. There is also a reason why Downtown LA is often 15-20% cooler than REAL INLAND areas like Pasadena and the San Fernando Valley. Oh and before you asked, I have a three day weekend… so don’t bitch lol. You’re mentally challenged. I’m not. I know my facts. You’re just a moron who doesn’t know anything about California, its weather or how to google anything. 87F in Palm Springs in the middle of June lol… at what time? 9 or 10PM lol?
http://www.johnnyroadtrip.com/cities/losangeles/maps/losangeles_anaheim.gif – By the way, if you notice downtown LA isn’t all that far from the coast. Now if you get stuck in traffic it is (time wise, not distance). But I don’t think offshore flows give a shit about traffic. If you want an area that REALLY IS INLAND it’s called Pasadena, El Monte or even Monterey Park. I was just at Monterey Park recently by the way. So I think I know LA quite well, unlike Mr. Know-It-All dipshit who can’t get his numbers right.
How does it feel to be 0-6 against me? Offthemark again.
Giancarlo85
@onthemark: And what weather report was I lying about? Is weatherunderground not reliable all the sudden? Do you realize weatherunderground is one of the most reliable websites on the internet and the Weather Channel agrees with it?
onthemark
@Giancarlo85: Damn that National Weather Service website, they must have been lying to me.
But okay. Suppose I agree with you about the weather.
The weather in Los Angeles totally SUCKS!
I’ve never heard that opinion before, especially from somebody who actually lives there, but okay… if you say so! The weather in Los Angeles totally SUCKS!
So-o-o-o-o-o – do you have any other bitchy comments about the actual subject of the article?
Or is your avoidance of that a tacit admission that you know nothing about the subject?
Giancarlo85
@onthemark: You made that up too. You never checked The National Weather Service website. You lied. The National Weather Service website agrees with me.
http://forecast.weather.gov/MapClick.php?lat=33.83029809600049&lon=-116.54528724899967&site=all&smap=1#.VYhmuEXVGUk
98F in Palm Springs right now according to the National Weather Service website. They predict no less than 109F for the next five days.
So what is lying? My website? Why?
You totally suck and your understanding is garbage. You are just backing off because you know you were wrong. I guess this is just you realizing you’re wrong. Now you need to attack LA… for no real reason. You live on the East Coast. You want shitty weather? Move there.
Giancarlo85
I remember visiting a certain town in Connecticut. Mystic I think it was called. Goodness me… that part of the US made me want to go back to California for the weather.
JAWIWA
@galatians328: Go sit in your cave and read your bible, freak. Stay out ofr gay spaces with your ratched hatreds. No one gives a damn what your micro-penised, closeted, homophobic self has to say about ANYTHING. Now, begone before someone drops a house on you.
onthemark
@Giancarlo85: Hey, I already agreed with you about the sucky weather in L.A. Stay inside in the A/C or in your A/C car until October. Nobody wants your mascara to run. Ooooh, nobody wants to see that.
It’s 83 in Massachusetts right now – absolutely awesome & beautiful.
So-o-o-o-o-o – do you have any other bitchy comments about the actual subject of the article? Apparently not?
Giancarlo85
@onthemark: Rather the weather is nicer than the nasty east coast. And I am outside plenty douchebag.
McShane
Holy crap balls, this is still happening? Obviously this is all my fault. I should have kept my fat f*ckin’ mouth shut.
@Giancarlo85: All you had to do was, basically say, “No it’s not 97 degrees right now, it’s forecast to be 97 degrees later today, don’t be a jerk.” I honestly would have dropped it, in a heartbeat. But for what ever reason you would much rather go full on DEFCON 5.
Giancarlo85
@McShane: Oh look the liar again. I said it was 93f. That was my local temperature. In Canoga Park. Not 80. I then gave you a geography lesson. Now disappear.
McShane
@Giancarlo85: FUCK THIS NOISE. You… I swear to god. I would much rather blow jasonsmeds and post it on YouTube, than deal with your ridiculousness.
onthemark
Hmm – I should have realized that the first poster in this comment thread is a right-wing Christian, sex-negative, homophobic loon. (Look up his moniker/Bible verse, Galatians 3:28.)
So it’s no surprise that our resident PRUDE and self-hating homophobe, Giancarlo85, immediately agreed with Galations328!
@McShane: Well, thanks for trying.
Glücklich
@McShane:
Actually it’s my fault. In an attempt to quash an argument early on I suggested going outside and enjoying the day. Knowing Giancarlo lives in Southern California, I assumed it was nice weather. I went on to say it was muggy and gray in New York. Thus providing the opening for an argument about weather. I take full responsibility.
Giancarlo85
@onthemark: You little nasty miserable bigot. Don’t even try to turn this around on me. How the fuck am I a homophobe? I am proudly gay and I don’t accept the constant fem bashing on here.
Giancarlo85
And I did not realize that guy was a homophobe or a bible nut.
I still stand by my original thought… The workplace is for professional relationships. If a sexual orientation goes south imagine having to work with the person. That happened to my friend and eventually he quit his job because his coworker was unbearable. I retract my idea for any form of prosecution. That wad a bit knee jerk on my part. As far as firing that is within the scope of company perimeters… Or possible reassignment to a different work site if the company is large enough (different office).
onthemark
@Giancarlo85: Thanks for a sensible comment!
“And I did not realize that guy was a homophobe or a bible nut.”
I didn’t either and I wish I had right away.
Giancarlo85
Don’t even try to thank me. I am not explaining anything you and I’m not making that statement to you. You called me a self hating homophobe which is a pile of steaming bullshit. I have little to no respect for someone like you.
Giancarlo85
@Giancarlo85: I meant to say sexual relationship. That was dumb autocorrect error.