Calvin Klein’s May/December ex-boyfriend, Nick Gruber, has been linked to Girls Gone Wild babe Chelsea Heath, at least in the New York Daily News.
Gruber, 22, had been on-again/off-again with Klein, 69, since 2010—and before that had appeared in gay porn—but in photos on the Daily News‘ Gatecrasher section, he’s “frolicking” with Heath on the beach in Marina Del Rey. The two kissed and held hands as the paparazzi snapped away.
The paper does say Gruber had recently gotten out of rehab, but we though it was for substance abuse, after he went bonkers and beat up a buddy. Maybe he was at one of those Christian retreats praying away the gay?
A source close to the blond bimbo (Gruber, that is) says the pair are “close” but “not in a relationship”—and “not exclusive.”
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
In May, after finishing treatment, Gruber posted on Facebook:
“I have learned so much about my self. I am so Thankful that I went [to rehab]. I am a different person. I don’t want to go back to my old self. I want to focus on my future on [becoming] a successful person on Education, Work and Bettering my self every day by day. No more partying. Time to be a grown man. Time to be a grown adult. Thanks to rehab and the people who love and care About me. I am now going to aftercare. I want to be better my self even more.”
Whether Gruber is straight, gay or bi we support his desire to get serious about his future. We’re just not sure how partying with Girls Gone Wild’s Hottest Girl in America is gonna help with that.
Torrie
Jesus, who fucking cares what or who this nobody does?
Macmantoo
Face it, Klein was too old for him. But in reality I think it was the money and the fame of being with Calvin Klein. Now he wants a little snatch with a little fame. Give it a month then he’ll be back swinging on the cock.
Colin
That picture of them above needs to be removed ASAP. Not all of us have strong enough stomachs.
Johnny
Sorry, but this kid is a mess.
He will be back in porn in less than 2 years when Daddy CK cuts him off and moves on to a younger, cuter party boy who isn’t damaged goods.
Palto
Right on Torrie. It’s like the money / fame whore that was shacking up with David Geffen. I still cringe at that photo of Geffen’s gigolo getting that photo op with Obama. Geffen has no shame.
s.b.
Whatever it seems like he was drunk when he wrote that
Aaron
Well of course he couldn’t just be bisexual. No, he’s obviously been brainwashed by the evil christians, or just faking it. Obviously.
But on a serious note…. what exactly has this guy done other than date somebody several decades his senior? Oh. Right. Nothing. No artistic worth, no talent, nothing. Why the hell should I give a fuck? Where’s a story about somebody with talent, like Mike White?
HM
The KID’S a mess?
How about that wrinkled old fossil? What a fucking embarrassment.
Moishe Ellis
Moishe,I think Nick Gruber is one unique sexy hunk and would not mind daiting him myself.
Adam Sank
I realize Queerty’s headline is meant to be tongue-in-cheek — much like the photo of Gruber’s tongue in Klein’s cheek — but it’s probably not a good idea for a popular gay blog to suggest that it’s possible for someone to drive a person to change his sexual orientation. Our right-wing enemies usually fail to recognize irony or nuance, and this is exactly the kind of ammunition they’ll use to “prove” that we can be “cured.”
dirty ole man
Calvin is exactly 6 days older than me. Wish I could get somebody the same age as our grandson…..NOT!
Max the Communist
Newsflash: Some people like pussy and cock. Get over it.
Plus, whatever sexploitational thing was going on between Calvin and Nick, I’m pretty sure both were conscious about it and didn’t rate the relationship for other than what it was. For those thinking (and writing) “what a disgrace to our community,” look in the fucking mirror and quit your own seedy behavior if you really care that passionately about it.
You know what I’d love? If Nick went on dating both Calvin and Chelsea and Calvin went on shelling out money for their big threesome foray–because he’s Calvin Klein and he can do that. That would make all y’all’s heads pop! Well, a girl can dream.
As for “But our enemies will use this against us,” of course, they’ll use bisexuality against you. They’ve always used bisexuality against you. Hitler did that. They always will do that. Are you going to freak out over every little sign or evidence of bisexuality because of the religious right? Or are you going to face the fact of life that some people like pussy and cock and get over your fears? Because bisexuality has existed since (before) the dawn of humanity and it’s not going away. Your only hope is to get over your fear of it so that the right cannot use that against you.
Sheesz!
‘
Dixie Rect
That picture just looks disgusting. Clearly this was a rent boy.
Wholly Mary
Y eee aaa hhh, right.
Cam
@dirty ole man: said….
“Calvin is exactly 6 days older than me. Wish I could get somebody the same age as our grandson…..NOT!”
_____________________
You can, just do what Calvin did….look on Craigs list and hire a hustler.
B
Maybe Calvin (or was it the other guy) wouldn’t be such a “mess” if his every move wasn’t the subject of public attention, or at least the paparazzi’s attention.
Aquarelle
I can’t believe how mean-spirited and judgmental some of you queens can be. I feel really bad for all the nastiness and bitterness all of you have in your hearts.
Brandon
This guy isn’t straight.
I’m gay and CKlein makes my stomach crawl. Even I’d make out with a woman if it made CK think I didn’t want him.
Steve
Some people like to have sex with other people of the opposite sex.
Some people like to have sex with other people of the same sex.
Some people like to have sex with other people of either sex.
Some people like to have sex with other people who have lots of money.
The fourth category overlaps with the first three.
Rick
I wish this kid the best. I also wish Calvin the best. That being said, I don’t understand why some older gays AND straights refuse to consider dating a person their own age.
gimmeabreak
“Mean-spirited and judgemental”? Give me a break. When someone FORTY-SEVEN YEARS OLDER than the twink they are dating, I don’t care if they’re straight, bi, gay or whatever. Yes, I do have a problem with that and find it to be exploitive and gross. Heck, I’m about twice this young man’s age and personally wouldn’t want to date him. Nice eye candy I suppose but to have relationship with? No thanks. I have not time for those with daddy issues. My God, I have family that young man’s age and the thought of them dating a granddad is repulsive.
dan
Journalism tip:
If your headline can be answered in the form of a yes/no question, and the answer is no, the article is not worth writing.
Andrew Rahn
Why was he frolicking on Dockweiler? I live right by it, and god could you not pay me to frolick on it.
James
Calvin Klein doesn’t *defiantly choose* to be attracted to guys younger than himself, he simply finds himself to be. It’s hardly rare, and there’s evidence that it’s genetic to seek younger, healthier mates. And it’s pretty sad that so many people lack the desire to nurture and protect younger people, that they wouldn’t recognize this instantly.
Nick Gruber doesn’t *defiantly choose* to be attracted to guys much richer/younger than himself, he simply finds himself to be. Considering the shame attached to this in our culture, it’s hard to know how common this is, but in other cultures, it’s clearly not unusual. We’re all pretty much programmed to seek affection from older people when we’re young. Perhaps some guys have the gift of retaining that.
Klein and Gruber aren’t making a *defiant statement* to women by having a homosexual relationship. Nor are they having the relationship to send a message to other men. Or the homosexual community. Without evidence to the contrary, it’s safe to say they’re just doing their own thing. There’s something to be said for how unflinching they are to date in such a spotlight, but I think it’s commendable to set a good example and display good self-esteem.
It’s time we stopped acting like these men are obligated to conduct their lives in a manner which pleases us. We don’t like it when heterosexualists accuse us of making a “choice” to be homosexual and having meaningless relationships just to send political statements.
It truely seems like many of us have become smaller versions of our enemies.
Cam
@B: said…
“Maybe Calvin (or was it the other guy) wouldn’t be such a “mess” if his every move wasn’t the subject of public attention, or at least the paparazzi’s attention.”
_____________________-
Funny because Calvin ISNT’T the subject of public attention until of course he sends out press announcements that he is throwing his 20 year old boyfriend a party, or that he is celebrating their anniversary etc…
Somebody not wanting attention doesn’t send press releases out begging people to write about them.
Rockery
Calvin is hideous!! Nice undies though my fave but he is truly disgusting. EWWW at the pic, Nick is gross too
B
No. 23 · Cam wrote, “@B: said… “Maybe Calvin (or was it the other guy) wouldn’t be such a “mess” if his every move wasn’t the subject of public attention, or at least the paparazzi’s attention.” _____________________-
Funny because Calvin ISNT’T the subject of public attention until of course he sends out press announcements that he is throwing his 20 year old boyfriend a party, or that he is celebrating their anniversary etc…”
Funny that the comment using the word “mess” (which is why I had it in quotes) was referring to the young boyfriend, who didn’t seem to be putting out press releases.
I didn’t remember which was which as a result of having zero interest in the personal lives of either of these two guys. Since Cam was tracking them to the point of following press announcements, you’d think he’d know which one was supposed to be the “mess” and would have gotten that right.
Apparently insulting one or the other is very important to some people, and they’ll spout anything to justify their behavior.
Jerome
hahaha if anyone’s a total mess it’s CAM!
Martin
@James: Ill second that!
Its nobody elses’s business who sleeps with who and why…
Pete
Tongue wrestling with Calvin Klein must be like aversion therapy.
the other Greg
@James: Great statement. Similarly, I don’t “defiantly choose” to have a boyfriend who’s gay instead of bisexual. I don’t “defiantly choose” to be sexually turned off by a guy who was having sex with a woman last week. These things are innate. Hard-wired.
It’s become bisexual dogma recently on Queerty to declare that gay men MUST be sexually attracted to bisexuals or else we (gay men) are “biphobic.”
(And therefore, they declare, we’re just like the Westboro Baptist Church, even though we are GAY and are f*cking guys and s*cking c*ck!!! Go figure.)
Apparently bisexual men are not getting laid enough! And apparently they don’t always have a supply of roofies. So now they try to “shame” us into having sex with them if it’s not our natural orientation and hard-wiring.
Unless the bisexuals really believe they can run a sort of “ex-gay ministry” (and I doubt they seriously believe such a ridiculous thing), bisexuals on Queerty have come up with an organized DATE R A P E scheme.
I guess it MIGHT help if any of them have Calvin Klein-style money, but… naaaah, even then my bf & I couldn’t go through with it, sorry!
Hephaestion
Another misleading headline by Queerty.
Ruhlmann
@James: Well said.
PTBoat
Just like that asshole, Calvin Klein, went back in the closet when being gay was no longer chic or good for business because of the AIDS crisis? Calvin Klein deserves no attention from our community.
Baba Booey
@PTBoat: I never knew this. This will make me think twice about purchasing his merchandise.
Daez
Someone I know once said, “when you are gay you sell it when you are young and buy it back when you are old.”
There is no way that there was any physical attraction in this relationship. This was just an opportunist kid looking to get ahead, and now he is trying to ride his fame however possible to stay ahead.
B
Re No. 32 · PTBoat ” Just like that asshole, Calvin Klein, went back in the closet when being gay was no longer chic or good for business because of the AIDS crisis? Calvin Klein deserves no attention from our community.”
and
Re No. 33 · Baba Booey: “@PTBoat: I never knew this. This will make me think twice about purchasing his merchandise.”
Just out of curiosity, how do you go back in the closet? I though when you went out, they took away the door and would only give it back if you put out a press release that you were going into rehab or had “found Jesus.”
Surely someone can find a press release or some other indication that Calvin claimed to be straight after claiming to be gay – otherwise I’d pass the claim off as yet another case of “I saw it on the Internet so it must be true.”
Max the Communist
@the other Greg: For your information, the bisexual community does not run ex-gay ministries. We’re fighting for our lives and our rights, just like you.
If you don’t feel like dating us, go in peace. I personally would not relish the idea of dating someone who thought I was part of a conspiracy that was out to hurt him. That would be too weird.
the other Greg
@Max the Communist: I’m glad to finally hear from a rational bisexual! Maybe you didn’t see the TWO other, very long threads in the past week I was referring to. Lots of bisexuals (over a dozen at least!) ganged up on me and insisted that if any gay man is not open to dating and a relationship with a bisexual, he is “biphobic.” This seemed pretty extreme and weird to me, as well as impractical – I wasn’t sure if they were planning “Clockwork Orange”-style electric shocks on us, or what – but it’s a relief to hear that you think it’s weird too.
Max the Communist
@the other Greg: I still think you’re biphobic, I just don’t think it’s worthwhile bothering with a gay man who would prefer not to date bi men. And I find you constant association of bisexuals with persecution, such as ex-gay therapy or “Clockwork Orange”-style electric shocks, quite disturbing.
the other Greg
@Max the Communist: So that makes one vote, I’m supposedly biphobic because I’m not worth bothering with, and about 12 votes, I’m supposedly biphobic because I’d prefer not to have sex with someone I don’t want to have sex with. 🙂
My point was, why is this a criterion at all? Other marginalized groups – women, transexuals, etc. – don’t insist that gay men be open to dating and sexual relationships with them, or else we’re bigots. That’s weird and offensive. It’s also not even possible to DO, even if we wanted to. No one can change their innate sexual orientation and desires. But that is exactly what this (new?) bisexual dogma insists.
the other Greg
@Max the Communist: Another example I used earlier was smokers. (A large subset of gay men, about 40%.) When I was single I didn’t want to date smokers, so I encountered some disappointed smokers.
But I was never faced with snarling, seething resentment and charges of “smoker-phobia”: the equivalent of the bisexual situation. The smokers – a marginalized (albeit large) group if ever there was one – more or less cheerfully went on their way, to date other smokers, or non-smokers who could deal with the smoking.
So why this insistence from bisexuals that gays and lesbians (but not straights?) be “open” to sexual relationships with them, or else be damned as “biphobic”? Although that seems like a nifty way to condemn about 80% of the gay male population as biphobic, I don’t understand why that should make you guys feel better or what else it will accomplish, if anything!
Colin
@Max the Communist: Explain what your “rights” are, exactly. What are you fighting for? Are they gay rights? Or, are they straight rights that you already have as a “bisexual”?
Aaron
Alright, so we have an article about a nobody gold digger addicted to drugs, and in the comments we have: an apparently non-ironic Communist who’s Bisexual (yeah, great to have you my side…), a raging Biphobe who thinks I’m going to rape him in his sleep (never mind that I’m a Gray A), and then another Biphobe who thinks I apparently have all the privileges of straights and suffer no persecution whatsoever.
Why do I visit this site, again?
Bryan
@Aaron: The last line about him finally finding himself, doesn’t sound like bisexuality is the reason he’s apparently dating women now.
Mr. Enemabag Jones
@Bryan:
I do find it ironic that he’s garnered more attention for himself in the last few days dating a woman, than the entire time he was dating a man worth almost one billion dollars.
I guess it’s better to date a broke whore, than a rich queer.
the other Greg
@Aaron: re: my guess that bisexuals are thrilled “to condemn about 80% of the gay male population as biphobic…”
I stand corrected. Make that 95%.
Max the Communist
@the other Greg: once again, I don’t care if you date bisexuals or don’t. At the same time, nothing you’ve said so far has indicated to me that you don’t date us for rational reasons–your posts indicate an obsessive fear of us that is unrealistic and borders on paranoia.
@Colin: bisexuals will fight for all the legislation that gays and lesbians want. But we also have to educate the public about fluid sexuality and the fact that we exist–and we have a right to exist without discrimination. Bisexuals are under attack for being bisexual, not for being “half gay.” We are fired/not hired/discriminated against within the workplace because of the stigma that we are unstable, lying, not trustworthy, indecisive, etc. And people think that we “choose” our very complex and changeable sexuality.
@Aaron: great to be on your side, buddy. Bi the way, Max the Communist is just my nom de blog–ripped off from the first season of Mad Men. My politics are not communist–I don’t know if that make me ironic, non-ironic. I’d have to check on that. The word irony is so misused nowadays.
Matt
The other Greg is some tiresome queen that’s biphobic and a hypocritical bigot.
the other Greg
@Max the Communist: Let me try this from another angle. Maybe you’ve never seen the famous List (below) but a Queerty regular named Brandon has regularly posted it over the past year. (Note that it includes the willingness-to-date.) I don’t know where Brandon got the list from (Bisexual Comintern?) but he never answers any questions about it.
Since you are the first reasonable bisexual I’ve encountered on Queerty, I was curious do you disagree with anything on the List? I mean it’s a goddamn long, long, long, long, long List and it seems almost impossible not to run afoul of a few of these Rules! I just wondered if there was anything we could take a short-cut on.
Have you ever met a gay guy you personally considered NOT biphobic?
===========
Biphobia is not a fear of bisexuals it’s simply bigotry towards bisexual men and women.
WHAT DOES BIPHOBIA LOOK LIKE?
* Assuming that everyone you meet is either heterosexual or homosexual.?
* Supporting and understanding a bisexual identity for young people because you identified “that way” before you came to your “real” lesbian/gay/heterosexual identity.?
* Expecting a bisexual to identify as heterosexual when coupled with the so called different gender/sex.
?* Believing bisexual men spread AIDS/HIV to heterosexuals.?
* Thinking bisexual people haven’t made up their minds.?
* Assuming a bisexual person would want to fulfill your sexual fantasies or curiosities.?
* Assuming bisexuals would be willing to “pass” as anything other than bisexual.?
* Feeling that bisexual people are too outspoken and pushy about their visibility and rights.?
* Automatically assuming romantic couplings of two women are lesbian, or two men are gay, or a man and a woman are heterosexual.?
* Expecting bisexual people to get services, information, and education from heterosexual service agencies for their “heterosexual side” (sic) and then go to gay and/or lesbian service agencies for their “homosexual side” (sic).?
* Feeling bisexuals just want to have their cake and eat it too.?
* Believing that bisexual women spread AIDS/HIV to lesbians.?
* Using the terms “phase” or “stage” or “confused” or “fence-sitter” or “bisexual” or “AC/DC” or “switch-hitter” as slurs or in an accusatory way.?
* Thinking bisexuals only have committed relationships with so called different sex/gender partners.?
* Looking at a bisexual person and automatically thinking of their sexuality rather than seeing them as a whole, complete person.?
* Assuming that bisexuals, if given the choice, would prefer to be in an different gender/sex coupling to reap the social benefits of a so-called “heterosexual” pairing [sic].?
* Not confronting a biphobic remark or joke for fear of being identified as bisexual.
?* Assuming bisexual means “available.”?
* Thinking that bisexual people will have their rights when lesbian and gay people win theirs.?
* Being gay or lesbian and asking your bisexual friend about their lover or whom they are dating only when that person is the “same” sex/gender.?
* Believing bisexuals are confused about their sexuality.?
* Feeling that you can’t trust a bisexual because they aren’t really gay or lesbian, or aren’t really heterosexual.?
* Expecting a bisexual to identify as gay or lesbian when coupled with the “same” sex/gender.?
* Saying how you would not date or have a relationship with a bisexual person.?
* Saying that gays, lesbians, and straight people should avoid having relationships or dating bisexual people and just “Stick to their own orientation.”?
* Expecting bisexual activists and organizers to minimize bisexual issues (i.e. HIV/AIDS, violence, basic civil rights, fighting the Right, military, same-sex marriage, child custody, adoption, etc.) and to prioritize the visibility of so called “lesbian and/or gay” issues.?
* Avoid mentioning to friends that you are involved with a bisexual or working with a bisexual group because you are afraid they will think you are a bisexual.
Carlos
Max and Aaron here’s more biphobia from the idiot trolls: http://www.queerty.com/adele-had-her-heart-broken-by-a-bisexual-boyfriend-20120627/ and http://www.queerty.com/dallas-couple-handcuff-themselves-to-records-office-to-protest-marriage-inequality-20120708/
Biphobic bigots like the other Greg should be called out as hypocritical bigots.
Dave
Aaron what is gray A?
Aquarelle
What IS it with AC/DCs and their whole “biphobia” bullshit? If anyone should be afraid of you, it’s the poor girl you’re gonna dump in six months when you finally admit you’re all about the c0ck.
Dave
STFU Aquarelle I’m gay and biphobes like you and the other Greg-you’re a troll that posts under both names-are hypocrites and bigots.
Brandon
Yes that’s right Greg I do call you out as being biphobic since that’s what you are.
the other Greg
@Matt: Thanks for the usual utterly vague, twitter-length criticism that you guys so cleverly come up with, but can you be more specific? I have a new theory that bisexuality damages reading comprehension. 🙂
Aquarelle
@Dave: Honey, it’d be only hypocritical if I talked shit about bisexuals behind their back, like I’m doing now, and were nice to them IRL. But believe me, I treat them like shit in person too.
Ramon H.
Biphobia is just as bad as homophobia. I’m a gay man and I don’t want anything to do with any gays or lesbians who are biphobic.
Aquarelle
@Ramon H.: What about transsexuals who are biphobic? Why didn’t you mention THEM? Or don’t they count? Are you one of those people who think we should drop the T from LGBT? It’s obvious from what you’ve written that you’re nothing but a hypocritical transphobic bigot.
You, sir, are disgusting.
the other Greg
I am definitely NOT Aquarelle – I was writing a response to Matt #48 while comment #50-54 posted.
@Brandon: “Yes that’s right Greg I do call you out as being biphobic since that’s what you are.”
Same Brandon? I guess it’s hopeless! Like your endless, endless, endless, endless, endless list.
And I guess I wrong again earlier. It’s more like 100% of cisgender gay guys are “biphobic,” so fuck it.
Aquarelle
@the other Greg: Of course we’re not the same person. I’m totally hotter than you. I used to do modeling, you know.
Brandon
Mike I’m cisgendered and gay and I’m not biphobic, you and your sockpuppet names Aquarelle, GOProudest, and Colin are all biphobic bigoted gay men as you’ve shown.
the other Greg
I regularly disagree with Aquarelle on other matters, and think she’s just being silly here. Sort of a metaphorical arsonist rather than a troll.
I was trying to be serious, but since it turns out it really IS hopeless, I’m going to refer to Brandon’s Official List often and maintain most (if not all) the “assumptions” that he advises us to try to do the opposite of. Since it’s fucking hopeless.
Aquarelle
@Ramon H.: Oh, sorry, didn’t see the “Ramon” in there. Let me translate that so you can understand (thanks, Google translate!):
“Usted es un asco!”
Aquarelle
@Brandon: You forgot to mention Kev C and UsualPlayers. I’m also supposed to be those people.
the other Greg
Well now that it’s hopeless, my heart may not be in it (+ it’s getting late here on the east coast.) But what the fuck, I’ve had two beers and taken a few tokes.
As our friend UsualPlayers (who I visualize as Linus with the SINCERE PUMPKIN PATCH) would say…
What about the polysexuals and the pansexuals?
(Whatever the fuck they are. Never mind how they’re different?)
We can’t have polysexual and pansexual “erasure.” That would be genocide!
“Clearly, you have never read Derrida.” !!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA (imagine in Snoopy laughing voice)
Jack
I’m a gay man and I’ve been out for decades and I’m ashamed and embarrassed at how bigoted some of my fellow gay men are when it comes to bisexuals and bisexuality. Who are you to tell someone that they’re not bisexual or that an entire sexuality and community of people does not exist? How would you know since you’re homosexual and not bisexual?
To all of the men here who claim that there’s no such thing as bisexuality, that bisexual men are always really gay men, or that bisexual men should be avoided:
You’re no better than Conservative Republicans, how some Christians (the born again type and Westboro Baptist church) are, and you’re bigoted just like these people are towards us gay/bisexual/queer men.
It’s 2012 and you’re fellow queer men. One would hope that you’re not a tiresome old queen who talks out of his ass about something she knows nothing about when it comes to bisexuality.
Try studying human sexuality sometime guys instead of just cruising for d!ck online. Study some Kinsey-Anything between (zero-straight) and 6-gay is bisexual. Or look at the Klein Grid of human sexuality. Or look at the book “Dual Attraction” by Martin S. Weinberg, Colin J. Williams, and Douglas W. Pryor.
There’s nothing wrong with being bisexual. To the bisexual men reading this ignore the haters replying to this blog. Not all gay men are bigoted like a few of them are here. Many of us gay men love bisexual men and I’ve met many gay men who are more into bisexual men and only have lasting long term relationships and date them.
There are some guys here who think that they’ve had sex with actual “straight” guys. Dream on, it’s just a fantasy and if a guy is really hetero or straight and you’re not in prison with him for the rest of your lives as his prison b!tch or doing something forced or non-consensual with him for sex you’re never going to have sex with a real straight guy.
I’ve had relationships with lots of bisexual men and they were just fine. I have had lots of gay men flat out cheat on me and lie to me which is something bisexual men have never done but I’d never tell a bisexual or gay man “Oh don’t date gay men! They will probably lie to you and just cheat on you!”
For the guys who claim that bisexual married men cheat that’s pure BS. I know tons of GAY men who constantly have affairs on their husbands and partners, and their partner does not know about it. Sometimes these men even have an open relationship where they claim that they only “play together” and of course one of them goes off and cheats since having sex with others while only with his partner is not enough for him. Other times the partner assumes that they’re both monogamous and the cheating by his gay male partner goes on right under his nose and has been going on for years or even decades.
Aaron
@Max the Communist: Oh my, I stand thoroughly corrected. If I could edit the comment right now, I would (that’s sincerity, by the way). I haven’t seen much Mad Men, not because I don’t want to (Aaron Staton is in it… I have all the motivation in the world to watch it), but because of my crippling inability to keep up with television. I just assumed you were sincere, considering the amount of other… extremists on this site.
@the other Greg: Don’t have too much to drink! After all, it’ll be the perfect time for all the evil bisexual men to come out and molest you. Why do I get the feeling you imagine us as men in suits, a top hat, and with a mustache we like twirl, frequently tying up damsels and innocent gay men to train tracks?
Maria
I find biphobia in the gay community ridiculously hypocritical and wish the hypocritical gays and lesbians would just shut up.
I was outed at school when I was 14 – not a great time for me. I never had any problems with my sexuality until I was 30 (I’m now 44) and could no longer ignore that I was attracted to men and that I’m bisexual. I also had to cope with a lot of prejudice and biphobia from the lesbian community. I encountered far more prejudice coming out as bisexual than I ever did as a lesbian – and it was from within the gay community that had been my support network for 15 years, at a time when I needed support. I’m nearly 45 now and really only now am I comfortable with who I am as a bisexual, but it’s no thanks to a peer group I once considered my extended family. Their loss.
the other Greg
@Jack: “Or look at the book “Dual Attraction” by Martin S. Weinberg, Colin J. Williams, and Douglas W. Pryor.”
THANK YOU! FINALLY, somebody recommends a fucking BOOK!
I often ask the bisexual guys serious questions and all they do is call me BIPHOBIC back, in a one sentence reply. There’s not much one can do with that.
Well it’s after midnight here so I’ll look up the book tomorrow, promise.
Aaron
@Dave: http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Gray-A
Personally, I’m somewhere between the third and fourth on that list there. And I’m also Bisexual/Biromantic. (Even though I don’t act on sexual desires [yet], I have them, and they are toward both sexes, and I have romantic feelings toward both sexes). I’m sure complicated ideas about sexuality like this will no doubt cause the cranial implosion of people like the other greg and Aquarelle. Or at least, can hope.
Speaking of Aquarelle…
“Um … awesome? Seriously, we need a *cute* rapper to come out. Who cares about uggos like this?”
That was his comment on the story about Frank Ocean. Please don’t continue to reply to and feed the mind of the most horrifyingly stereotypical ‘queen’ on queerty. If people wonder why I don’t socialize much with the gay male community (or at least, the mainstream), they need look no further than people like him for the reason.
Boy howdy, I’m feeling mighty mean spirited today…
the other Greg
@Aaron: Bwa ha ha! Thank you for a little humor. No, going to bed now.
Aaron
@Jack: Love you. No, seriously. Probably one of the most sane commentators on queerty. I especially love the section about sex with “straight” guys (I’m guessing most of the people who believe this believe everything they see in porn, not knowing that “gay-for-pay” actually just means ‘Bisexual, but getting extra money to say I’m straight’).
Jack
Greg the book I mentioned is good but it’s VERY dated and it was written when HIV/AIDS was very new.
Some other good books about bisexuality are Bi any other name: Bisexual people speak out, Bi men coming out every which way by Ron Jackson Suresha, and Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday Life by Marjorie B. Garber.
the other Greg
I was afraid to ask what Gray A meant, I figured I’d just get a cryptic one-sentence insult again. Funny, I knew the pop-culture reference to “Max the Communist” right away but I kind of figured Gray A was a reference to some vampire shit I hadn’t seen.
@Aaron: No “cranial implosion” but after reading what you wrote a few times, I thought the notion of being lectured to by a bisexual virgin who figured out his OWN sexuality from a book was pretty amusing. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.” Well, good luck to you, and I get the point that there must be a LOT more kinds of bisexuals out there than the generally mean ones I have met in real life!
@Jack: You bring up a lot of things that no one here has really brought up, certainly not me. For instance, yes yes yes, I’m well aware that when I was young and blew a “straight” guy in the park, that he was in reality bisexual.
You say “Many of us gay men love bisexual men and I’ve met many gay men who are more into bisexual men…” etc. I have too and it’s fine with me. My objection was to this new (?) bisexual dogma that ALL gay men must be open not only to casual sex, but to romantic relationships with bisexuals, or else be condemned as biphobic. It’s offensive (as well as impractical and pointless) to dictate others’ sexual DESIRES and hard-wiring in such a way. Brandon’s “little” manifesto includes this and no one except Max has seemed willing to give up on it. In fact if there are so “many gay men who are more into bisexual men” (and again, I’m sure there are), why do you guys need this belief at all? This is an important point, and although sure I can learn more about bisexuality, it just sounds like a scheme to get laid.
I’m well aware also, that plenty of cisgender GAY men are seriously fucked up. But that is a topic for many, many other threads.
Max the Communist
@the other Greg: Greg, put yourself through this little fill-in-the-blank test: “I would never date a bisexual man because all bisexual men are ____________.” If you can fill in that sentence with anything, then you are biphobic. And the only reason I think it’s okay that you never date any bi men is because I think bi men deserve better than you.
PS–thankfully, I know gay men who are not judgmental like you and I’m happy to see some show up in this thread. Thanks, guys, you make my day.
@Aaron. No problemo. “Max the Communist” is pretty precious and confusing, but what can I say? I loves me some Mad Men, Aaron Staton and everybody.
Aquarelle
@Max the Communist: Don’t know how Greg would answer that, but as for me, “I would never date a bisexual man because all bisexual men are __attracted to women, and I prefer men who are only into men__.”
Don’t know if my answer makes me a biphobe, but the question makes you a moron.
Evan
Greg thinks that bisexuals are “gross” because they’re sexually attracted to both genders.
Little does this bigot know that this sort of thinking is EXACTLY what straight homophobes/biphobes say about gay and bisexual men.
I’m gay and hell even I wouldn’t want to date or god forbid have sex with Greg!
Mita
Aquarelle thanks for proving yet again that you and Greg are the same poster but are sock puppets of each other!
Aquarelle
@Mita: And thanks for proving yet again that you’re an dumb cu:nt who read somewhere what the phrase “sock puppet” means and now thinks she can spot one merely by identifying people whose opinions differ from hers.
Seattlequeer
One thing’s for sure the other Greg and Aquarelle are hypocrites and total bigots, and the fact that they are biphobic gay men is not surprising.
Jerome
Greg/Aquarelle you can argue that your sexual desires don’t include bisexual men but unless a man tells you he’s bisexual there’s no way you’d be able to tell, and therefore you’re a bigot, and a complete idiot.
Aquarelle
@Jerome: There’s no way I’d be able to tell if a man was into scat, or liked gangsta rap, or enjoyed eating his own boogers, or whatever, but if he does and I find out, you can bet my attraction towards them will vanish.
Meg
That’s nice Aquarelle since everyone can easily tell that you’re a bigot and as far as sexual attraction goes it’s never been there to begin with for you from anyone.
Then again I’m sure you’re Greg’s partner or you’re both looking to joining the klan or Westboro baptist church since you’d fit in great at both places!
Cory
Aquarelle and the other Greg are both biphobic bigots, idiot trolls, and fugly as hell inside and out, and they’re scat queens!
Geri
Maybe he was just out looking for a hot chick to share with Calvin? Why not? After all Calvin is bisexual too & I’m sure he likes younger women as well as younger men.
the other Greg
Jeez. See PROOF that I am not Aquarelle: comment #62 & 63, July 11, 11:32pm at the exact same moment. Physically impossible to do. (Plus, if you’re a “member” at Queerty it would take nearly a full minute to log out, log back in & log out again.)
You can stop putting the word “gross” in quotes, because I’ve never used it. Apparently bisexuality damages reading comprehension.
I don’t get the continual references to Westboro baptist church. Fine with me if you accuse Aquarelle of that (whatever the hell it means), but I don’t even believe in god. Where have I been declaring that “God hates bisexuals” (and loves gays) or anything remotely like that? The analogy makes no sense at all.
Again, I was always just a little freaked at the idea of KISSING a guy who had sex with a woman recently. That’s about it. If a straight woman who was an ally in every other way – political, social, everything – felt the same way, you wouldn’t say anything or even think it was unusual at all.
Again, can’t you guys get laid without roping me (and every other gay guy) into the mix? No other group does this.
the other Greg
@Max the Communist: “Greg, put yourself through this little fill-in-the-blank test: “I would never date a bisexual man because all bisexual men are ____________.” If you can fill in that sentence with anything, then you are biphobic.”
Hmm. I guess my traditional fill-in there was always… “likely to want to have sex with women on the side.”
Well I guess there are no actual polling data on that. Although I suspect my vague word “likely” there covers it, I admit I don’t know for sure. And again, can’t you guys get laid without me? – I’m flattered but still mystified why this is so freakin’ important to you. No other group does this.
But okay, what the hell, I’ll give up. If I find myself single again, and looking, I will be open to dating a bisexual man.
Happy now?
JT
There are tons of biphobic idiots on here.
Rex
Greg that’s bullshit you have said how because bisexual men are sexually attracted to women as well as men that you find them to be gross, disgusting, or nasty. You’re biphobic and no better than Rick Santorum and all the rest of those fools who hare LGBT people.
Tim
Greg you’re a troll and have a huge ego. It’s not about you or people wanting sex with you, it’s about respect and not being bigoted towards bisexuals.
the other Greg
@Tim: Gee, I said exactly what you said, earlier in the thread, many times. I had thought it was enough just to be respectful and not bigoted, like with any other group. After all, women, transgenders and even smokers (for instance) expect me merely to respect them and not be bigoted against them; they don’t demand that I be open to dating them too. But the bisexuals kept insisting on the point that I should be open to dating them.
So, I finally said YES. And look what happens! Since we agree on the other stuff, you can stop badgering me.
@Rex: I’ve NEVER used the word “gross,” “disgusting” or ‘nasty” to refer to sex to women, if that’s what you want to do. “IT’S FINE WITH ME,” – a quote I’ve said many, many times.
I’m a liberal Democrat and resent being lumped in with Santorum, and Westboro or whatever etc. etc. etc. Very weird, irrational and hateful invective that doesn’t make any sense.
Geri
Max the Communist wrote:
“Author: Max the Communist
Comment:
Newsflash: Some people like pussy and cock. Get over it.
Plus, whatever sexploitational thing was going on between Calvin and Nick, I’m pretty sure both were conscious about it and didn’t rate the relationship for other than what it was. For those thinking (and writing) “what a disgrace to our community,” look in the fucking mirror and quit your own seedy behavior if you really care that passionately about it.
You know what I’d love? If Nick went on dating both Calvin and Chelsea and Calvin went on shelling out money for their big threesome foray–because he’s Calvin Klein and he can do that. That would make all y’all’s heads pop! Well, a girl can dream.
As for “But our enemies will use this against us,” of course, they’ll use bisexuality against you. They’ve always used bisexuality against you. Hitler did that. They always will do that. Are you going to freak out over every little sign or evidence of bisexuality because of the religious right? Or are you going to face the fact of life that some people like pussy and cock and get over your fears? Because bisexuality has existed since (before) the dawn of humanity and it’s not going away. Your only hope is to get over your fear of it so that the right cannot use that against you.
Sheesz!”
I agree. Hear, hear.
‘
EvonCook
@HM: Can’t wait til you get there!
EvonCook
@Dixie Rect: The picture looks “disgusting”? Beauty and hate are in the eye of the beholder. Too bad so many people, even those supposedly in our community, have bigger mouths than brains.
EvonCook
@gimmeabreak: Then just go back into your ageism closet, and leave people to do what they want to do, enjoy and can afford. Lot of real opinionated, narrow-minded creeps on here. May-December relationships? Good luck to them, just like everyone else. Hope the haters reap what they sow.
EvonCook
Lastly, what an enormous amount of bs and hate about being bisexual. We are ALL bisexual, meaning that we are born with the ability to be stimulated by and orgasm with either sex (although I have never, and have absolutely not only no interest but a revulsion towards the thought), but usually various elements and experiences gradually refine our patterns of behavior into a preference. Some are simply not so radically polarized for whatever reason. Fine for them, as a gay person since the age of five,( yes sucked lots when I was five and ever since), I tend to find bisexuals have a slippery-ness which offends my sense of political justice, especially when gays are fighting for equality and bisexuals seem to be able to play both sides when it is convenient — a lot like females, lesbians (who claim invisibility but get away with a lot more as acceptable) and female-preferring bisexuals. But, bisexuals are absolutely not non-existent, intrinsically evil, liars or necessarily bad people, just ones who can never be counted on to be totally devoted to the gay agenda. Even Gore Vidal saw our species as basically bisexual. Try reading Sex at Dawn. And leave the poor bisexuals alone to wander where they please imagining they have the best of both worlds (but perhaps none of the conviction or pressure of either).