When Michele Bachmann introduced an anti-marriage equality bill in the Minnesota legislature, she did it because the Lord told her she, like, totally should.
“I took a walk and I just went to prayer and I said Lord, what would you have me do in the Minnesota state senate? And just through prayer I knew that I was to introduce the marriage amendment in Minnesota.”
Her amendment failed, but the Lord works in mysterious ways. Or something.
At the Values Voters Summit in Washington, D.C. on Friday, the Bachs reportedly said gay marriage is “not an issue” the Republican party should be focused on. She went on to tell a reporter on Sirius XM Radio, “In fact, it’s boring.”
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So we can only imagine the chat that Michelle may have had with the man upstairs that lead her to minimize the antigay marriage moral crusade. She is, after all, a high-ranking Colonel for Christ.
God: Look, Michele, this isn’t working out.
Michele: Are you breaking up with me?
God: Don’t be so dramatic. Just lay off the anti-gay stuff, it’s boring. *finger snap* **disappears in cloud of smoke**
When asked to clear up her remarks, she told conservative site World News Daily:
“What I said is that this won’t be the issue that drives the 2014 election. I told the reporter it’s getting boring having them only press this issue with Republicans while ignoring Democrats.”
The translation of which would read: “While I may not have fully accepted that I’m squarely on the wrong side of history, I know a sinking ship when I see one so perhaps it’s best to scurry like a rat to the nearest land mass.”
Pressed for comment about Michele’s statement, the American Family Association’s Bryan Fisher showed his dedication to going down with the ship:
“Unfortunately, there are people in the conservative movement who have sort of given up. There are even evangelical leaders sending signals that the battle is over, that the battle is lost. ‘We’ll never be able to capture the millennials. They’re gone.’ I think it’s way premature for that. You know, when the homosexual lobby was 0 and 31 [having lost at the ballot in 31 states on marriage], the gay lobby didn’t quit. They didn’t give up. They didn’t do it. They didn’t give up, and neither are we.”
Jesus must be sending mixed signals.
Pistolo
Don’t worry, Michelle, God has a plan. And, for you, it looks as though that plan involves failure, embarrassment, and grinning through the disgusting bile that spills out your mouth on a regular basis. God works in mysterious ways, it’s true, but he’s kind of half-assing it with you.
Paul Nadolski
The ONLY thing Michelle tried to do in St. Paul was to pass the marriage amendment that ultimately was rejected by the voters of Minnesota. Her legislative record in Washington? She is one of the least-effective members of Congress. She has passed almost nothing. She is an embarrassment to the good people of Minnesota (the voters of whose 6th District for some reason kept re-electing her) and I for one am glad that she is going. Good riddance!
Dr. Mo
Well, she’s only been married to a gay man for 36 years. When it comes to gay marriage, Michelle Bachmann is actually a bit of an expert!
Cam
Well look at her career. When she was saying crazy things about politics, getting history wrong etc…. she didn’t seem to sink so fast. When she started coming after gays, people started pointing out her husband, their suspicious marriage, stories from her past etc…
She probably figured it’s better to cut her losses.
Desert Boy
Bachmann is as crazy as a loon. When she told a reporter “God visited me in my living room one evening and said, ‘Michele, I want you to run for Congress'”, even a Michele Bachmann fan boy has to admit this broad is cray-cray and needs treatment.
Bauhaus
Hmm. Bachmann has given up the fight, and now finds gay marriage so tiresome, tedious, and boring?
Ah, that really means her own marriage is dangerously close to being exposed for what it is.
And, Macus has been frequenting the truck stops way to often.
Bad Ass Biker
@Desert Boy: Hey, you know I thought I heard the voice of god one night but it turned out that I had gone to bed drunk and left the radio on.
mcflyer54
God told Michele to author a senate “marriage” amendment – it failed. God told Michele to run for President – that too failed (miserably). Apparently God has a much better sense of humor they most people thought or He simply enjoys watching Michele make a complete fool of herself. Either way I think Michele needs to reevaluate her relationship with the man upstairs because He certainly doesn’t have her best interests in mind.
Desert Boy
@Bad Ass Biker: My alarm went off at 5AM the other day and the station was playing a Barry White song. For a moment, I thought it was God.
DickieJohnson
It’s difficult to believe anyone has ever taken MB seriously! Maybe, just Maybe, God can tell all the other far-right religio-tards to hang it up as well, including the Benham boys, and the countless mouthy, hate-mongering, bigoted douchewad Repubs.
Harley
Unfortunately the right wing nuts won’t give up. Their victim hood status helps to elevate their image in order to get donations. It’s all about the money. Also, Marcus doesn’t hang around the truck stops. More likely he’s hanging around junior high schools with a pair of binoculars.
NJjoe
Bachman is so hell-bent on anything gay. Could it be her marriage is a scam? She married a homosexual? I would rather enjoy Marcus getting caught in some sort of gay sex scandel on video and let’s see her public reactions. Is that mean of me?
Nah, I don’t thinks so.
Are Bachman and Palin related in any way? They are the equivalent to the “Patty Duke” character(s) of many moons ago.
1EqualityUSA
Maybe God will tell her to jump of a cliff.