Joe Exotic‘s husband Dillon Passage held nothing back when pressed for details about his relationship with the convicted felon on Andy Cohen‘s Sirius XM radio show this week.
Passage described Joe as a “genuine and a good down-to-earth guy.” He explained that the two met on Grindr in 2017 when he was 22 and addicted to prescription pain pills.
Related: What to Watch: Just in time for quarantine…a very exotic story of tigers, murder and gayness
“I was in a really bad place in my life ,” he recalled. “I was going through a lot of things. I was an addict, and being around the animals kind of gave me a purpose. It brought me out of my depression. It was my own little rehab.”
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Two weeks later, they were married.
“We definitely jumped the gun,” he said, “but I’m not ashamed of it whatsoever.”
As for their sex life, Passage, who likes men and women “both equally,” told Cohen that Joe is neither a top nor a bottom.
“I would just say he’s a power vers,” he said.
Then he confirmed he, too, is versatile, but that he’s not into S&M.
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“We actually never did anything like that, and he never asked me to either,” he explained. “I knew he had done that in previous relationships.”
As for Joe’s Prince Albert piercing, Passage described it as a “small padlock” which he asks his husband to remove before sex. And doesn’t allow big cats in the bedroom when they’re making love either.
Passage, who now works as a bartender in Florida, also revealed that Joe was in quarantine in a federal prison, after being transferred from a facility where several inmates tested positive for coronavirus. This lead to reports that Joe, himself, had the virus.
But a post on the Tiger King star’s Facebook page later clarified that this is not true.
Related: ‘Tiger King’ Joe Exotic in coronavirus quarantine
“Joe DOES NOT have the COVID-19 virus, he’s in a 14-day quarantine because he was transferred from another facility,” the post stated.
“I do love Joe,” Passage told Cohen. “He’s been there for me through my darkest times, and I’m not just going to dip out and abandon him when he needs me most.”
Listen to Passage’s full interview below.
Donston
The documentary tried to present him as pretty much being “gay4pay”. But it’s probably more complicated than that. He seems like a very damaged person who’s been through a decent amount of trauma and has been through confusions and fluctuations within the gender, romantic, sexual, affection, emotional, relationship spectrum. They both come off as narcissistic people constantly trying to escape their issues and escape the “real world”. Joe is a pure megalomaniac who appears to prey on people who are addicts, are destitute and needy and on dudes with stifled self-esteem and poor mental health. And their relationship comes off more like co-dependency than love, partnership and commitment. But it’s not like those types of people and relationships are anything new.
Chrisk
I thought it was just John and Travis that were shown to be gay for pay. I’m not sure where you got all that about Dillon though. He seems like a pretty normal kid from a good family.
Donston
They definitely attempted to drop hints but seemed to resist going full-on because they’re still together. He definitely seems like the most together, the most loyal and the least succubus of Joe’s spouses. But it’s also clear that it’s a very co-dependent dynamic. That’s it’s more like a parent/caregiver-child dynamic than a partnership. And like, why are you even giving interviews and telling his business if you plan on sticking it out? As I said though, these types of people and couples are nothing new. And it works for some.
I don’t even believe the other two were genuinely, thoroughly gay4pay. The whole gay4pay/straight4pay stuff is sometimes true but is rarely completely accurate. Even if you ultimately see yourself as “straight” or “gay” or is even inherently hetero/homo or you’re mostly there for money or other reasons, there still tends to be some attractions, enjoyment, affections, ego boost, or something else there. Money or opportunity may be the biggest reason, but it’s rarely all that’s there. The gay4pay/straight4pay stuff is mostly just another way to push identity politics, fetishize identity and behaviors, fit into sociological spheres, ignore fluidity, ignore the orientation spectrum and ignore the multitude of different things that drive people’s sex lives, identities and relationships.
ShowMeGuy
I don’t know what documentary you watched because the one I watched didn’t portray Dillon in that light. It barely included any information about Dillon at all, while offering absolutely no back story about him. Dillon was the most normal and grounded person in the entire situation…..which is probably why he wasn’t seen much since he didn’t add anything to the freakshow.
youarebetterthanthat
“In 2019, Exotic was convicted on 17 federal charges of animal abuse (eight violations of the Lacey Act and nine of the Endangered Species Act) and two counts of murder for hire, for a plot to kill Big Cat Rescue CEO Carole Baskin.” – English Wikipedia
Please stop trying to glorify this convicted felon.
Chrisk
Not saying Joe doesn’t deserve some time but allot of that was trumped up and Joe definitely got framed. Baskin isn’t exactly innocent herself.
His Vegas friend Jeff is the one I’d worry about.
Donston
I get the fascination. His life and personality has been idiosyncratic. But it’s almost like some are forgetting that he’s been convicted of attempted murder, hired mostly homeless and/or drug addicted workers who he didn’t pay, mistreated animals, illegally bought animals, and he seemed to perpetually go after druggie, low-income, f-ed in the head dudes who didn’t have unabashed homo preferences and ambitions. Some are treating this dude like a “hero” because he’s strange, entertaining, unabashedly into guys, and because his story is so whack-do. I do however get the fascination.
Slipperyslope
Thanks for sharing. One small tip, it might be helpful to find more credible newsworthy sources to support your case next time such as NBC, NY Times, Time or at the very least HuffPost. Wikipedia is basically a dusty low-budget blog run by a group of biased and unprofessional volunteers.
JamJewel
It’s in the eye of the beholder: I came away realizing that, once again, the federal government used criminals and con men to entrap a fool. It was not by happenstance that prosecutors added the wildlife charges to prejudice the jury… who took three hours to convict on all charges, three hours to go through each charge without debate… then sign their names on the dotted lines. It was quite satisfying in the end to see Joe turn over his files so that some of the other asshats might potentially suffered fates as sad as his own.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
During this corona apocalypse unsettling times I would like to give a thanks to Queerty. Myself and many others are guilty of being bitchy bitches about the site sometimes. The sometimes maddening moderation system, the noxious trolls, and other quirks
Queerty provides one of the most open commenting platforms and the ability to review and revise your comments. Especially in these trying times. I have been posting here pretty much since the sites inception.
I for one (and think many of the regular posters) would like to offer thanks to the Queerty staff for offering us a place to vent, learn and sometimes laugh. Hoping all stay well….
Cam
Agreed!
revashayne
Question for the panel. Do you think we are getting these gay4pay portrayals of Joe’s “husbands” because they are attractive and for the most part conventionally masculine? The older one did marry a woman and have a child but he was with Joe for over 10 years.
Cam
The TV show that features the guy is being talked about all over the place. I think it’s because he happens to be a moment of pop culture.
Donston
There’s very little doubt that money, stability, drugs and/or opportunity are big reasons why those guys got with him and stayed with him. But there’s definitely some agenda there. Joe is not conventionally good-looking. The first two guys were, and they were “masculine”. If you see an “odd couple” it’s easy to think there’s something else going on there, especially if you think one of them is attractive and the other isn’t. Hell, his first “husband” may be with his wife primarily to have kids, for hetero-normal protections and to prop his ego. None of us truly know the dimensions of people, their journey or their motivations. While mainstream media still gives press to these dudes who do gay porn but present themselves as “straight”. Even though most of those guys go on to admit to not particularly being hetero or contending with some degrees of fluidity or confusion. It’s easy sensationalism, an easy headline, and it’s an easy way to make “gays” appear pathetic or desperate or obsessed with straight/hetero-leaning dudes. (Though yes, many do fit into that category). Societally, we’re still very much about pushing identity, forcing people into socio-political spheres and forcing people and their relationships to fit into our ideas of practicality. It’s not in the media’s interests to truly dissect things like internalized homophobia, hetero pressures or past trauma. Nor do they want to deal with the dimensions and realities of fluidity. Nor do they want to deal with how varied sexuality is. Or how varied the romantic, sexual, affection, fascination, emotional fulfillment, relationship preference spectrum is. It’s just easier to depend on instinctual observations, depend on identities or to write people off as things like “closeted” or “gay4pay”. It’s a way to make situations and people easier to digest. But those things rarely tell the whole story.
CurtisIsTheOne
Damn, DONSTON. Occasionally, you words ring TRUE.
Your post was ABSOLUTELY correct and well thought out. Congratulations on seeing multifaceted shades of gray in sexuality.
Creamsicle
“Passage, who now works as a bartender in Florida,”
I stopped and laughed at this line.
ShowMeGuy
Why did that line make you laugh?
pickles
Andy Cohen and John Hill delivered a FANTASTIC interview and Dillon Passage was VERY well spoken, articulate, fun, revealing, unedited yet controlling of what he said. Maybe he got great media training (but I doubt it, given his presumed financial situation, now) or maybe he’s just a far smarter guy than anyone would have guessed. If you can hear the interview, it’s worth it. That good. Kudos Andy. Also, supposedly, Passage will be back on soon.
Cam
This comment brought to you by Andy Cohen’s intern. lol
jaxtonypiper
The series on Netflix was interesting and the memes are funny, sure, but I wish to GOD we (the gay community) would STOP treating this man as some sort of Urban Legend/Hero.
He was violent, misogynistic, abusive and horrible. He doesn’t deserve a shred of the hero worship he is receiving.
He abused animals, probably murdered a few, tried to hire people to kill his detractor(s), lured men into relationships with meth and money, among MANY other things.
LGBT people need to quit holding people like this up as representatives of us.
JamJewel
As usual, there are some among us that would luv to presume in the fantasy of the “good ol’ gay!” when in fact we are as diverse as the population in general and deserve to have our psychotics and murderers and whatnots without apology. Remove the ‘gay’ and we are still left with a pathetic fool who, blinded by his obsession with his animals, surrounded himself with sycophants, and con men who eventually brought him down. And anyone who comes away thinking justice was served by his conviction, watched a different show than me. Which is why he testified against his lawyer’s advise, to tell his side of how he came to be hoodwinked. But, as the prosecutors wanted, the jury only focused on the horrendous wildlife abuses and convicted him in three hours. THAT’s American ‘justice’ of which we can be proud. /s
Donston
JamJewel, you’re still ultimately painting him as a victim. And I didn’t see it that way. He definitely has some “issues” and he got caught up with some “bad people”. But no one was manipulating this dude or had power over him. Insecurities and a lust for acceptance, relevance and notoriety can drive people into some messed up territories. We’ll likely never got the full-full story. While documentaries have their own agendas and perspectives.
edfu
Hey, Donston, go write a book.
Kangol2
Joe Exotic is also a horrible racist. “Tiger King’s” director Rebecca Chaiklin has stated, “Joe is a racist, I would say categorically,” and that he made “unsettling” racist comments during filming.
But the show’s director and producers edited those bits out to make it palatable, people have gobbled this crazy crap up, and now that a clip of Joe Exotic is circulating showing him to be overtly racist, she’s admitting what she did, so whatever.
Vomitastic!