What A Total Tool

Disgusted By Marriage Equality Ruling, Hardware Store Owner Proudly Hangs “No Gays Allowed” Sign In Window

635712202888097841-0630SignCollageWell, this is a backwoodsian tale of the macabre. WBIR.com reports that an East Tennessee store owner has hung “what some call a controversial sign” that expresses his feelings about same-sex marriage.

In a spidery Sharpie scrawl, the sign simply reads “No Gays Allowed.” Yeah, WBIR, some people would call that controversial. At least.

Related: Aww, Dammit! This Indiana Pizzeria Won’t Cater Your Gay Wedding

Jeff Amyx, owner of Amyx Hardware & Roofing Supplies in Grainger County, thinks the sign demonstrates that he’s a brave Christian who’s not afraid to stand up for his beliefs.

“They gladly stand for what they believe in, why can’t I?” said Amyx, who we imagine looks something this:


“They believe their way is right, I believe it’s wrong,” he continued, quite possibly over the frenetic strum of dueling banjos. “But yet I’m going to take more persecution than them because I’m standing for what I believe in.”

He currently has no plans to take the sign down. If someone within a five-mile radius of Amyx Hardware & Roofing Supplies can stop in and gently explain that we’re no longer living in the age of Jim Crow laws, perhaps he’ll come to his senses. If not, we’ll pay you $100 to take the sign down.