falsies

Do Andrew Christian’s New Fake Bulge Briefs Come In ‘Uncircumcised’?

It is underwear designer Andrew Christian’s goal in life to give men the same erotic zone enhancements that women have. He’s long promoted package-lifting briefs (with Show-It technology!). Then he came out with butt-lifting garments (with Flashback technology!). And now he’s basically just inserting prosthetics into your underroos to tell all the guys in the locker room: it’s fake, and it’s fabulous.

With Shock Jock Flirt technology(!), Christian’s new line of briefs and boxers feature a pouch to insert this plastic thingy that comes sculpted with the outline of a penis, so it’ll show through your briefs while you’re parading around the spa changing room.

(Hilariously, the company is pitching the technology as a way to add two inches to your frontal silhouette as well as prevent “zipper injury.”)

It’s perfect for guys who weren’t blessed in that department, but I see a real market in trans men who haven’t had surgery below the waist, but still want to be able to flaunt some manhood.

Between this innovation and Lady Gaga’s new Polaroid glasses, which snap photos while you wear them, we’re moments away from photographer Jeremy Kost presenting an exhibit of dudes and faux dongs.

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30 Comments

  • andrew

    Can you imagine the disappointment when you get a guy wearing that home?

  • Daez

    Wow, the transgendered remark is worse than most things I would have said, and we all know what I say.

    In short, this is completely overpriced underwear which will be gobbled up by label queens that then wonder why they can’t afford to put food on the table. Sure, I could get these if I wanted them, but I chose to use my money for things and causes that actually matter.

  • mike128

    why do we keep using terms like “blessed” for guys with big dicks? im not so sure what’s so great about a larger than average dick. love a normal dick here.

  • DR

    @Daez:

    What’s so offensive about it, it’s a plain statement of fact. If a FTM wants to appear like more of a man, then these are of some benefit to that appearance.

  • Daez

    @DR: but I see a real market in trans men who haven’t had surgery below the waist, but still want to be able to flaunt some manhood.
    —–

    Look at the wording. First, transgendered FTM don’t need to appear as more of a male. That is in an impossibility since they are male already.

    However, “flaunt some manhood” reeks of the belief that the penis makes male. That are “manhood” is comprised of our genitalia and that FTM need to use prosthetic devices in order to show “manhood.”

    I’m not saying it was QTs attempt to insult transgendered people. I’m simply saying the wording SUCKS.

  • Daez

    Look at the wording. First, transgendered FTM don’t need to appear as more of a male. That is in an impossibility since they are male already.

    However, “flaunt some manhood” reeks of the belief that the penis makes male. That are “manhood” is comprised of our genitalia and that FTM need to use prosthetic devices in order to show “manhood.”

    I’m not saying it was QTs attempt to insult transgendered people. I’m simply saying the wording SUCKS.

  • Daez

    Transgendered FTM don’t need to appear as more of a male. That is in an impossibility since they are male already.

    However, “flaunt some manhood” reeks of the belief that the genitalia makes the male. That our “manhood” is comprised of our genitalia and that FTM need to use prosthetic devices in order to show “manhood.”

    I’m not saying it was QTs attempt to insult transgendered people. I’m simply saying the wording SUCKS.

  • kurt

    @DAEZ preach

  • justiceontherocks

    You’d have to be insecure to a dangerous level to wear stuff like this.

  • SteveC

    “However, “flaunt some manhood” reeks of the belief that the genitalia makes the male.”

    So you disagree with the habit of MTF transsexuals in removing their penises? Are these women holding an incorrect belief?

  • DR

    @Daez:

    Some FTM may not care about their appearances, others may care about their appearances and I’m not going to debate that. Otherwise, I repeat, for those who can’t afford bottom surgery, this is hardly a horrible suggestion for an alternative should they desire it.

  • Jay

    is that prosthetic/impression a cut cock?

    what if you’re uncut? do you get a different one? lol

    what happens when you really do get hard, then wouldn’t it be like an awkward bulge, looking like two dicks.

  • Hot Guys

    That Show-It underwear actually looks fantastically comfortable. I’ve always wanted underwear like that!

  • tallskin2

    The outline of the cock is a cut cock! So American. You americans and your fear of cock smells with uncut cock! LOL

    And the designer calls genitals “junk” !!! WTF? The last thing I would call cock and balls is “Junk”!! Junk is rubbish, what kind of mindset is that to refer to cock and balls as rubbish?

  • Matt

    Tallskin2 so go post on a non-American web site. Are you from Canada where health plans don’t cover circumcision ? Is that what that smell is?

  • Mr. Enemabag Jones

    @Matt:

    Is that what that smell is?

    Nah, Matt. You’re smelling the shit between your ears.

  • declanto

    This is just so patently false it’s laughable. It mak
    es me think of red clown noses and bad comb-overs.
    @tallskin2: “Junk” for genitalia is a hetero phemomenon that’s been taken over by the LGBTQ in the USA. For unknown reasons I’ve not seen any posts about this. [email protected]Matt: Tallskin is British.

  • tallskin2

    @Matt – Yeah, I am European!

    Remember Europe? the civilised part of the world where we try not to cut our baby boys’ cocks because a sky pixie tells us to!

    And where we make good chocolate, and we have ten thousand types of cheese THAT SMELL,

    and hey, we even have food that tastes of something

    LOL how you’d squeal if you were tied down and a group of European men got a good sweat up and they rubbed their sweaty, smelly bodies all over your innocent yank face!

  • Matt

    Tallskin2 I think I saw that DVD…..

  • declanto

    Ooooh, Tallskin! I get all sweaty and smelly just thinking about it!

  • cornhusker

    Well – no offense intended as I know both M to F and F to M transgendered people but the lack of a penis is a huge disadvantage to F to M who want to ‘pass’ as real males…my M to F friends have a real vagina – can’t even tell from the ‘born with it’ ones…but the tech is not as good the other way yet so this is a way to give a little boost…nothing wrong with that!!

  • globo

    Cut cocks looks sexy, uncut cocks… ugh (and I’m no gringo)

  • missbaby4love

    Dearest One,
    Can i get to know you? my name is miss. Mimunna pls if you are interested on making real friendship contact me here;([email protected]) for more details.

  • Ernest

    @tallskin2:

    i love it ha ha!

    I hate it when gay men act like ladies, you got a dick act like it!

  • Mark

    @Matt Tallskin is quite obviously from the UK, and you incorrectly assuming that he is Canadian is just sad, as you are a living embodiment of the ignorant American stereotype Europeans have. Seriously how do you mix up Canadian and British English when Canadian is almost exactly like American English?

    @Tallskin As mentioned, “Junk” is a straight term for genitalia that the LGBT community also adopted. It’s just slang, and I’m sure each English speaking country has slang that would baffle another. Also, I found it funny you said “we even have food that tastes of something” when one of the stereotypes of British cuisine is that it is rather flavorless XD.

  • declanto

    And I STILL hate fraud and love the stiffie morning noon and night, cut or uncut.

  • AlterPride Project

    @Daez: Just FYI, it’s not “transgendered” It’s transgender. There is no procedure to become transgender.

  • AlterPride Project

    @tallskin2: I know, I can’t understand when people try to use this politically correct “junk”. When people see a woman’s breasts, they don’t say “Look at her junk.” But for some reason men are always relegated to the trash bin O.o

    –Randall

  • joeguy

    @mike128:

    TOTALLY AGREE MIKE. Whether I am the receiver or giver, I don’t like huge dicks. I think it’s nice to look at, in a video. But to EXPERIENCE one, especially up my butt, is a whole other story. I like average, slightly curved cocks up me bum.

Comments are closed.