american idol

Do Not Let Christopher Ciccone Take Over For Simon Cowell

Simon Cowell is a bitchy queen who likes talking crap about others. That doesn’t mean any bitchy queen who likes talking crap about others should replace him. Especially if his name is Christopher Ciccone.

Better known as Madonna’s gossiping brother, Christopher has been on a campaign to replace Cowell for months. Mostly, he’s been doing this via Facebook, where the group he started — Christopher Ciccone for American Idol! — has a whopping 604 members. And yet he’s still getting pick up in the press, telling Page Six, “I think I can bring a particular kind of credibility to the show. I’d be the only person sitting at the table who actually created a pop star from the beginning, and helped keep her there for 20 years. I know what it takes to make it.”

(As Madonna’s one-time assistant, Mr. Ciccone apparently believes he created The Material Girl. Cute, but delusional.)

What Cowell maintains in self-awareness (he knows people can’t stand him, and he revels in it), Ciccone absolutely lacks. That he believes he has “a particular kind of credibility” is actually an admission that he does not have any. Madonna’s brother has worn many hats; aside from her assistant, he’s been a stylist and a backup dancer, and now an author. None of them, however, have been positions of authority, or opportunities to brand him as a music insider.

That Americans aren’t terribly familiar with him shouldn’t be an impediment; nobody really knew who Randy Jackson was before he sat down in an Idol judge’s chair. But Ciccone’s bid is desperate, and appears to be merely a publicity stunt to promote … well, him.

We’re sure Ciccone would deliver catty commentary about contestants, fulfilling America’s stereotype of middle-aged gay white men. Some of his scripted lines could even be funny! But whereas Cowell impales Idol contestants to be honest, Ciccone would do it to be crass. We don’t want that. Kara Dioguardi already fulfills whatever necessary quotient of it there is.

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  • Cam

    He didn’t “Create a pop star from the beginning”. LOL! What a lie! Madonna left the family, moved out to New York, made it on her own, and then gave her famly members jobs AFDTER she got famous, and his job basically consisted of getting outfits for her tour! He has been trying to glom off her fame for YEARS and had never done anything for himself.
    Simon Cowell is blunt but not a dick, additionally Simon has created actual succuesful singers and groups. I’ve seen Christopher as a guest on Top Chef and he was just a nasty horrible bitch, and frankly a big ole mess. He wouldn’t make it through a week on Idol without getting fired.

  • bryan

    This is HYSTERICAl!
    This guy is such a mess. I know him from L.A and Miami.
    Paula has nothing on this scum bag when it comes to drugs.

    When are you going to realize your a sell out and you were her tail, slave, beard

    Get yourself some help and then GOOD THINGS WILL COME TO YOU!

    Good luck!

  • bryan

    What about the Latin Band he was representing in MIAMI. He did not do shit with them. Shut the fuck up CHRISTOPHER!!

    Seriously, you would be fierce on Rue Paul’s Drag Race, totally Amazing

  • ewe

    I have to type that I care enough to say i dont give a shite.

  • SugNight

    Don’t let WHO take over for Simon Cowell?

  • zenflo

    I think I saw him on Top Chef once; he was a pointless, disagreeable excuse for a “restaurant consultant” queen.

    I didn’t watch the end of that episode, nor would I tune in to AI if they engage this level of (non)-talent.

  • Kyle24

    IDOL will not allow 50% of their judges to be gay. No Perez or Chris.

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