DINERS CLUB

Does Santorum Salad Sound Appetizing To You? (Don’t Answer That)

When he’s not blathering on about unconstitutionally invalidating same-sex marriages, Rick “Frothy Mix” Santorum has been sampling the best cuisine Iowa has to offer.

Slick Rick recently stopped by the Pizza Ranch in Boone, IA, and tried their signature dish, a chicken salad much-vaunted by assistant manager Keith Prange, the Huffington Post reports.

“A lot of people ask about the economy and the threat of Iran and about military aid and maybe about social issues, whether it be abortion rights or something else,” says Prange. “I don’t care about those things, I care about what you think about my damn salad.”

Screw the economy and the pursuit of happiness—America is actually founded on the right to enjoy delicious chicken salad, damn it!

After Santorum declared the dish to his liking, Prange decided to name it Santorum Salad in the candidate’s honor. (Um, has he not heard about Rick’s Google problem?)

Well, eat up, Iowans! You’ll need a lot of strength to make it out to the caucus tonight.