DINERS CLUB

Does Santorum Salad Sound Appetizing To You? (Don’t Answer That)

When he’s not blathering on about unconstitutionally invalidating same-sex marriages, Rick “Frothy Mix” Santorum has been sampling the best cuisine Iowa has to offer.

Slick Rick recently stopped by the Pizza Ranch in Boone, IA, and tried their signature dish, a chicken salad much-vaunted by assistant manager Keith Prange, the Huffington Post reports.

“A lot of people ask about the economy and the threat of Iran and about military aid and maybe about social issues, whether it be abortion rights or something else,” says Prange. “I don’t care about those things, I care about what you think about my damn salad.”

Screw the economy and the pursuit of happiness—America is actually founded on the right to enjoy delicious chicken salad, damn it!

After Santorum declared the dish to his liking, Prange decided to name it Santorum Salad in the candidate’s honor. (Um, has he not heard about Rick’s Google problem?)

Well, eat up, Iowans! You’ll need a lot of strength to make it out to the caucus tonight.

Get Queerty Daily

Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #boonepizzaranch #iowa #keithprange stories and more

6 Comments

  • Johnny

    Fuck this arrogant asshole. He couldn’t be elected dog catcher!

  • TASTEY GOODIES

    BARF-O-RAMA!!!!

  • Greybat

    Selling the salad may prove difficult. wherever did they find Soy Ranch dressing?

  • JIMBO

    Would that salad be ‘Tossed’?

  • B

    Well, since some of the other candidates want to eat Santorum’s lunch (to use a popular idiom) and given their homophobia in general, having them end up with a santorum salad is a case of letting the punishment fit the crime.

  • Santorum Salad

    The salad has its own twitter and wordpress blog.

Comments are closed.