Dolce & Gabbana Debuts Baby Perfume For The Impossibly Elegant Toddler

dolce-baby“How can babies smell even sweeter than they already do?” asked Stefano Gabbana of the illustrious Italian design duo Dolce & Gabbana.

How’s about a perfume that smells like “the softness of baby skin, the freshness of baby breath, a mother’s sweet hug, [and] the first smile”?

Those were the inspirations for Dolce & Gabbana’s eau de bambino, which features notes of citrus, honey and melon. The 50-ml, $45 fragrance is “designed to cuddle and pamper every little boy and girl.”

According to a sassy commenter on Jezebel, the baby perfume is a traditional gift in Italy “as well as other Mediterranean countries including France, Spain and Greece,” which goes back to ancient times “when perfumes and ointments were a gift for the precious – frankincense and myrrh, anyone?”

Anyone? Bueller? Burberry? Bulgari? Those last two also offer baby scents, so for anyone wanting to cover up that new baby smell or simply indulge in some ancient tradition, you’ve got options.

justin-vivian-bond-perfumeIn other smelly news, transgender diva Mx. Justin Vivian Bond is also coming out with a scent, “for the person who is Everything”: The Afternoon of a Faun.

Mx. Bond describes the eau de parfum thusly:

To be a Mx is to access the ecstatic, orgiastic cult of the ancient Goddess Cybele whose followers were known as the Galli, the sacred whores of the temple. These gender-variant spiritual revolutionaries used glamour and the power of their forbidden sexuality to honor the “Mother of the Mountain”, the “Lady of the Trees”. There is a thread that has travelled across the centuries to connect the Galli – through the arts of dance, drumming, singing and eroticism – with such legendary provocateurs as George Sand, Claude Cahun and Vaslav Nijinski, who scandalized the world with his flagrant sexual appetite in Mallarme’s “The Afternoon of a Faun”. The radical fairies and gender outlaws inhabiting our modern world are contemporary tranifestations of the “divine androgyne”. When we make love in the afternoon, on the ground, in the woods, surrounded by flowers we, too, honor the ancestors who have set us free.

To be a Mx is to be sexy, earthy, transgressive, and not just a little dangerous. Mx is for those who have achieved the golden mean – to be both a man and a woman – to be a Mx is to be Everything.

That certainly makes for an inspiring alternative to Axe Body Spray. Probably smells a whole lot better too (but honestly, so does a landfill).

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  • BJ McFrisky

    Seriously?! Like the shallowest of mothers, we apparently want to turn babies into accessories. And what does this nauseating whiff of ludicrousness have to do with gays?

  • Eric Auerbach

    Dumbass idea.

  • Gigi Gee

    @BJ McFrisky: People turned babies into accessories long ago.
    I have a picture of me, age 5, in the most horrific outfit ever made to prove it.

  • Chad Hunt

    Now, don’t get me wrong. Anyone who knows anything about me knows I love me some D&G. For many years my closet was stuffed with nothing else, but SERIOUSLY, perfume for babies. I know it is a tradition and all in Europe but seriously thats one tradition that needs to stop, right along with male baby circumcision.

  • 1EqualityUSA

    One time we were at a Chinese restaurant and my brother kept smelling his tea. He asked my mother why it smelled familiar. He kept smelling it, driven nuts by not being able to place it. We siblings ribbed him because he couldn’t let it go. Finally my mother said, “Hand it to me.” She inhaled the aroma and said, “I got it.” It was the A&D ointment she had used on his chapped infant buttocks. The whole table lost it. Derision and Chinese food pair nicely. I wonder how many teens are going to whiff this scent and wonder where the Hell they smelled it before.

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