DOLLYWOOD BE DAMNED

Dolly Parton Is Sorry That Her Theme Park Hates Gay Marriage, Y’all

Dollywood’s Splash Country messed with the wrong lesbian couple when a park employee asked one of the women to reverse her “Marriage is so gay” t-shirt, so as not to offend the delicate eyeballs of fellow “family” park-goers. The enraged couple Olivier Odom and Jennifer Tipton went straight to the media with the story; or as straight as a lesbian couple can go.

Dolly Parton, who has a huge gay following, immediately issued a statement of apology to ABC news.

Parton said: “I am truly sorry for the hurt or embarrassment regarding the gay and lesbian T-shirt incident at Dollywood’s Splash Country recently. Everyone knows of my personal support of the gay and lesbian community. Dollywood is a family park and all families are welcome.”

She added: “I am looking further into the incident and hope and believe it was more policy than insensitivity. I am very sorry it happened at all.”

Pete Owens, Dollywood spokesman, stated that dress code policy is to ask people with clothing or tattoos that could be considered offensive to change clothes or cover up. He further added, “We try to provide an environment for families of all shapes and sizes to enjoy themselves.”

Odom and Tipton argue that it’s cool to have dress code policies and all, but maybe their employees should use common sense when determining what’s considered offensive, and teach them that “families” aren’t just the hetero kind.