“There is security to being identified. ‘I’m a straight white male’ or ‘I’m a gay Asian dancer’ – you can find community easily and safely. Instead of being like, ‘Man, I really don’t know…’ Most of my college years were me being like, ‘I don’t know what I like.’ I had friends who asked, ‘Are you gay?’ And I’d be like, ‘I sort of feel like I am because I love this community.’ You know? But maybe I’m not? And I always was trying to figure out ‘Am I weird for not wanting to label it?'”— Donald Glover (Childish Gambino, Atlanta) speaking to Michaela Coel (I May Destroy You, Chewing Gum) about finding identity through sexuality in GQ.
MISTERJETT
if i could, i’d be so on that if he was gay. i think he’s gorgeous!!!!
southernscot
Why worry so much about labels, just say how you feel. If you say you don’t know for now how you feel, that is in it’s self is your truth. For me I don’t know what that is like because I knew how I felt from a very early age. Having hidden that side of me for as long as I did, I know how I have suffered for that and I hope that the situation Donald describes is something people can move through and get a point where they feel good about who they are.
jonasalden
He’s lovely. He was the best thing about Community. I had a major crush.
Donston
“Labels” help a lot of people politically. They also assists with feeling like you are a part of a “community“, and they assist in helping some people understand you more. So, they are helpful for multiple reasons. But selling identity as the be-all to everything just needs to stop. Hell, we can’t even come to a consensus around what “sexuality” even is. Sexual arousal, enjoyment, desire, passion, comfort, preference, behavior, history are all different things. And people choose whichever of those elements to define what sexuality means to them. Then there’s the different types of fluidity or paraphiliacs/fetishes or confusions/questioning some people experience. Then there’s the elements of gender, romantic affections, emotional connections and fulfilling commitment. Then there’s a bunch of other things that often play into what people do or how they present themselves: family, ethics, religion, ego, insecurities, sociology, resentments, internal phobias, money, trauma, mental health struggles, attention whoring, addictions, an individual’s sex drive.
This is the impasse we keep returning to. There’s just too much different shit going on, too many different types of people, and too many different struggles, motives, identities and interpretations. So, shaming people, pressuring people, or mostly just pushing identity politics is not the most helpful instinct. If you’re placing identity before people feeling safe, secure and sane and before people feeling free to live the lives that they really want to live then you’re not being helpful. In fact, you are a part of the problem. However, none of this means that you can’t call out the many folks who say and do vulture-like, manipulative or problematic things.
Res1
Labels are a big part of identify because they give you a sense of pride. Bisexual men, In my honest opinion, are usually the ones who don’t want a label so they don’t have to deal with their same sex attraction. If you noticed, they have no issues with the label straight.
Donston
People can live freely and honestly and have “pride” without the identity politics. In fact, many out “gays” still contest with a lot of internalized homophobia or fem-phobia. So, attaching yourself to a “label” does not automatically equate to pride.
Don’t oversimplify complicated and individual issues. Yes, homophobia, gay shame, “straight” privilege and hetero pressures are driving force for many. However, a lot of inherent bi men who are gay identifying don’t want to deal with their hetero attractions either. So, that’s not strictly about straight identifying guys. A lot of people don’t know if what they feel for a person is attraction or a paraphiliac or something else. Many don’t understand if what they feel for someone is romantic passions or just regular affections. Many people just don’t get themselves or their orientations. Never mind the realities of fluidity and just how dense and individual the gender and orientation spectrum can be. And at the end of the day people are always gonna say they are whatever the hell they want to say they are. While there’s still so much debate around what all these identities actually mean.
I’m not anti identity. Nor am I against people feeling whatever type of pride towards whatever identity. I just feel like too many people reduce not wanting to fully promote and indulge identity politics as the same thing as being closeted or promoting shame. And those are two different things. We have become too identity dependent. It has halted the overall conversation, and it’s a conversation that needs to evolve from merely gay/straight/bi or whatever other “labels”.
Res1
@Donston that’s not my experience with bi men.
kernowcraig
What a load of boll**cks! speaking as a bi-man, the biggest issues I have is that people (particularly in the LGBT community) don’t accept the label and push me to try and choose “what I prefer more”! The amount of gay guys I know that say its only a matter of time before I admit I’m totally gay is ridiculous! I’m married to a wonderful man, the easiest thing in the world to do would be identify as gay, but I’m not, so why my own community won’t accept that I have no idea! Oh I do…. people like you!
Kangol2
Donald Glover’s answer is refreshing, like his music and him as a person. He’s a longtime LGBTQ ally. He also is incredibly talented, and a beautiful soul. Atlanta was one of the more original series to appear on TV over the last 10 years, and managed to break new ground in a number of its episodes. However he chooses to label himself or not is fine by me.
stanhope
What a nice fellow and attractive too. Not my type at all but I’d love to have lunch with him at The Patio on Commercial Street and chat about tons of stuff.
michel_banen
Labels are for bottles and medicine. Only then it does matter if you take the ‘right’ one.
Heywood Jablowme
And pillows. “Not to be removed under penalty of law except by consumer”!
TMBisAOK
Say goodbye to any protections then. Smh
Cam
People against labels are doing exactly what the right wing bigots want. If nobody labels themselves as Trans, Bi, Gay, Lesbian, Non binary, etc. then there is no reason to pass any laws protecting them.
We label ourselves at this point to prove that we are here, we will be counted, and the Republican dream of us all going back into the closet won’t happen.
When there is full equality, then people can refuse to label themselves all they want and it won’t matter.
whateverokok
People can refuse to label themselves at any point that they wish. They don’t have to wait until everything is perfect, sunshine, and roses for everyone in that particular community. It is that person’s right to choose to label or not. However, the saying labels are for cans of soup has a lot more weight than most people realize.
We herd ourselves into groups based on whatever community we have labeled ourselves into and others will only see that particular label if we wear that label very loud and proud. I don’t label because there is no one label that can define who I am. Sure, one “could” label me a college rock music lover and that would not be untrue entirely. but that is only one aspect of myself.
I wear many different hats and shirts. No “one” hat defines me most. Or at all. As for the political aspects of it, i don’t subscribe to that theroy at all. To label ourselves so we can be seen, counted, and protected for what amounts to little is not cool. In other words, labeling ourselves so we can beg for scraps from the masters.
I’m sorry, but no one has any power over me politically. I’ll marry whom I want and when I want, for example. I would do that now and I would’ve done that 20 years ago, when people said you couldn’t do that. Nobody tells me anything. Much less a policitian. I don’t play their games. You can say what you will but you can never call me Nick Cliche. People have a choice. Espeically when it comes to their identity. Now and not in some future time.
Cam
@whateverokok
I know you’ve defending Republican’s in the past, and right here, trying to compare a person identifying as Trans or a bisexual, to somebody identifying as a “College Music Love” shows exactly what the right wing wants.
They for YEARS tried to claim being LGBTQ was a choice, and here you are trying to insinuate that being out of the closet is no different than liking country music.
Nice try.
radiooutmike
I love Glovers honesty.
I bet a cohort of men who are straight asked themselves this same thing in college. It’s nice that he owns up to it and that he loves our community. I wish the other guys would too…
TMBisAOK
I just don’t get how he can talk about questioning his sexuality, without ACTUALLY talking about his attractions ffs!