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‘Don’t Ask’ Protects Gays!

Finally, the Onion News Network gets a straight answer on why the government prohibits gays from serving in the military:

Under no circumstances can we put America’s homosexuals in danger… Gays of America are the only group left untouched by war. They’re special, pure and rare, like a gleaming diamond… It has been the solemn oath of every man in uniform to lay down his life in defense of America’s precious, precious homosexuals.

Also learned: one gay life’s worth seven straight soldiers. We estimated eight, but we were pretty close. That counts for something, right?

On:           Aug 14, 2007
Tagged: , , , ,
    • jknight

      We can finally stop doing our work! Haha. Funniest video ever!

      Aug 14, 2007 at 9:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bryan

      I. Love. This.

      Aug 14, 2007 at 10:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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