Can a person have gay sex and still be a Christian?
AL.com recently sat down with Rev. Dr. Wesley Hill (pictured), author of Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality, to discuss this hotly debated question.
Hill is a self-hating openly gay man who has chosen a life of celibacy because, he says, “I believe that the Bible and the Christian tradition don’t endorse same-sex sexual activity.”
Instead, he says, he seeks “a life of hospitable community, deep friendship, and genuine love.” (Evidently, he doesn’t consider gay love “genuine.” Perhaps he just hasn’t met the right guy yet.)
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Hill calls celibacy “a worthy calling” and a pathway “that the Bible and the Christian tradition have recognized for the stewarding and purifying of our wayward human desires.” (By “purifying” we can only assume he actually means to say “suffocating.”)
Naturally, he’s also opposed to gay marriage.
“The historic Christian teaching is that marriage is meant to be a lifelong covenantal union between a man and a woman that is open to bearing and raising children,” he rambles.”If someone wanted to enter a same-sex union (or was already in one), I would encourage them to consider whether their love for each other could be expressed without sex.”
Better yet, Hill says, if you’re a gay man, why not simply deny yourself real love (and ruin someone else’s life in the process) by marrying an unsuspecting woman? Your everyday existence may become a living hell, but at least you’ll go to Heaven when you die.
“It’s important to say that some gay Christians have married spouses of the opposite sex,” Hill says. “I wouldn’t want to set that up as some kind of norm, but I also don’t want to erase those people’s stories either.”
Because we all know how happily those fairytales have ended.
Related stories:
10 Bible-Based Reasons Why Christians Should Love Homosexuality
New “Christian” Documentary Depicts Tombstone For Gay Past Of Ex-Gay Man
Former “Ex-Gay” Activist Marries A Man And Finally Finds His Happily Ever After
Daniel Alvarado
oh hes not done with it
Harry R. Courtright
Poor sole.
Bob LaBlah
“Instead, he says, he seeks “a life of hospitable community, deep friendship, and genuine love.” (Evidently, he doesn’t consider gay love “genuine.” Perhaps he just hasn’t me the right guy yet.)”
I think that perhaps he should move to West Hollywood.
Dave Basora
He’s done with all that or he’s done all that?
Scribe38
@Bob LaBlah: Give me a bottle of wine, some Sam Smith playing in the background, and 50 minutes with this dude and I will have him moaning “Oh Jesus, don’t stop”.
Josh447
When you’re that infested with Sexual self hate, a place like WeHo could induce a deepened conflict that might just push him over the edge.
Giancarlo85
“The historic Christian teaching is that marriage is meant to be a lifelong covenantal union between a man and a woman that is open to bearing and raising children”
Where was that in the bible? Oh that’s right… that’s made up. But then again the bible is fiction.
Do I have pity for this man? No. In this day and age we have enough information so one can educate themselves, and he chooses to be ignorant.
NoCagada
Marriage was redefined when most people stopped trading their daughters for two goats and a mule…which still happens in places like Alabama and Mississippi and is still part of the official plank of the GOP
thisisnotreal
What bothers me about this article is not this mans choice, its the response of the gay community to it. I don’t see anywhere in this article where this man is being a closet case. He knows he is gay and because of his personal beliefs he is making the choice to live a single celibate life. I see no reason why this man should be attacked or insulted for his choice, if his conscience feels better living that way then he should be allowed to do so without people calling him a closet case or a religious zealot.
The gay community has fought for so long for acceptance and the right to live their lives the way they feel is best. and now that we are finally starting to gain a little of that respect and freedom we are turning around and using it to attack anyone who doesn’t support our cause or choices. People have the right to disagree with homosexuality as long as they aren’t hurting anyone with their stance, and i hope the gay community doesnt turn into the oppressors we have fought for so long. You may not agree with this mans choice but you should respect it and let him live his own life.
And before someone calls me a homophobe,or a closet case im an openly gay man myself. I may not agree with this mans choice but i still respect it.
Giancarlo85
@thisisnotreal: This is all wrong. He is using hateful reasons to be celibate. If one wants to be celibate, awesome… so be it. But he has attacked the gay community using the bible and attacked those in same sex relationships.
“If someone wanted to enter a same-sex union (or was already in one), I would encourage them to consider whether their love for each other could be expressed without sex.”
– This is what he said. Seems like he’s instructing others about what they should do. So you see why people are getting defensive? He’s just another religious zealot who is attacking other gay people like myself for being in a same sex relationship.
So why should I spare him any form of criticism? He made all sorts of stupid and hateful claims about same sex couples, and people have a right to criticize.
So what exactly are you respecting?
“People have the right to disagree with homosexuality as long as they aren’t hurting anyone with their stance”
This is bullcrap. Do people disagree with people being black? Or being women? Or the sky being blue? Homosexuality isn’t a opinion that can be disagreed with. It just is. It exists naturally. End of story. I wish these christian extremists would disagree with oxygen… would make the world a better place.
Xzamilio
@thisisnotreal: I do. I see plenty of reasons why this man should be mocked, ridiculed and put out there to be looked at as a pathetic husk of a self-hating homosexual man. Let’s get a few things straight, my good man: You can respect someone’s rights and freedom to exercise their existence to fit their desired mold of life, but you damn sure don’t have to respect the results of that desire. He can be whatever he wants, and I can respect him for living his truth, but I don’t respect his truth, because his “truth” is self-harming religious bullshit that has no place in a modernized society. And by they way, you don’t have a right to disagree with something that isn’t up for debate; it is intellectually dishonest and nonsensical. What is there to “disagree” with about homosexuality? It’s this stupid crap that I had to live with growing up, and it does NOTHING but inflict feelings of guilt for daring to have feelings for the same gender. 2015 and people are still believing in sky daddies and magic.
Bob LaBlah
@thisisnotreal: “You may not agree with this mans choice but you should respect it and let him live his own life.”
Dear, when you stand on the mountain top (as this queen has obviously done/doing) it is always best to take a GOOD LOOK at who and what it is you are telling your personal business to and ask yourself “are they really going to give a flying fuck”.
Not only do I not believe her I don’t give one damn about whether she has given away the battery recharger and vibrating dildo or put it in a box under the bed (which is what I bet she did do). These responses should have been expected on EVERY web site that has an audience such as this one. Get real honey.
Bob LaBlah
@Scribe38: “Give me a bottle of wine, some Sam Smith playing in the background, and 50 minutes with this dude and I will have him moaning “Oh Jesus, don’t stop”.
You know, after looking at that picture posted here (and we are more or less on the subject of Jesus and “mixed” up)…..never mind.
dhmonarch89
celibacy or he just couldn’t get laid….tomato/tomAto
Scribe38
@Bob LaBlah: I am willing to take one for the team.
jwtraveler
If this guy doesn’t want to have gay sex, I certainly won’t force him to. I just hope he’s as respectful of my choices.
Nixter
@thisisnotreal: You got owned by the excellent comments below!
Cobalt Blue
Good! This man deserve kudos !
tusgold
This is a prime example of the difference between intelligence and education. The two don’t always go hand in hand. How would you like to be this guys ex. Eeeek
tusgold
a great and intelligent reply! You have a good head on your shoulders!
tusgold
I think people would be less negative if he decided which sin sends you straight to hell. In his mind he is once again as all haters do say gay men in healthy sexual marriages are going to hell. Its a sin when he just checks out a dude I believe the term is “lust in your heart” something every sexual being does regardless of the gender of either. I mean the guy iss basicly saying I am going to hell because I am having a sexual relationship with another man. I am not wild about “Christians” of any blend ultimately decide to order sins and determine which sin sends you to hell. Are hetro adulters number 2 on the sin and go to hell list? My God is a forgiving God and while being gay might not be advocated in the Bible no where does it make this sin any more important than adulters or slaves not obeying their masters.
Realitycheck
So sad, who knows what kind of social pressure the guy has taken all
of his life to be lead to this kind of mental set up………
On this other hand if he had a stronger personality he would have found
a way to move on and out of a repressive anti-gay environment.
Luis H. Lopez
You will see him on the down low soon this is so stupid!
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Always the fugly or micropeen ones embracing the “struggle” of celibacy LOL!
guyinnh
in typical fashion the gay “community” rips apart someone who dares think that there might be more to life than who they have sex with. when he says he wants to live “a life of hospitable community, deep friendship, and genuine love” what he is talking about is making fulfilling connections and relationships that are not sexual in nature. how horrifying and foreign a concept for the gay community that sexualizes everything.
guyinnh
@thisisnotreal: how dare you, sir! the basic tenet of being a gay man is to have sex with gay men, frequently. this man is an abomination for thinking otherwise. he probably doesn’t even have a smartphone so he can’t use grindr.
Zekester
Something tells me that his trollish face and boring personality, and not a god, that better explains why he’s not having gay sex. But whatever helps him sleep at night.
AtticusBennett
lovely. another enemy. and make no mistake – this man is the enemy, and his message will harm more gay men than “god hates fags” ever has or ever will.
the idea that physical expressions of our love or affection or sexuality are a “sin” is what drives people to lose hope, go crazy, and kill themselves.
there’s always some broken Christian boy, with a disapproving family whose tolerance he seeks, who tries to tout this “just be celibate” nonsense. matt moore. that aryan nut job Grady Smith. and they’re all cut from the same “my family disapproves!” cloth.
http://littlekiwilovesbauhaus.blogspot.ca/2014/07/stop-being-part-of-problem-not-solution.html
i was raised in the united church. we had a gay minister. i came out to my family and my congregation when i was still in high school. many from my church have joined my family in doing actual LGBT Outreach and advocacy, a number of those lovely grey-haired folks joining my family to march in the pride parade with us.
that’s why i’m well-adjusted, and this crazy guy is going to likely have a life of endless anxiety.
Zekester
@guyinnh: Nice try! There’s NOTHING that says a person cannot have hospitable community, deep friendship and genuine love” AND have sex with a man. I have all of those things and I’m happily married and I have sex with my husband. Fuck you and your willingness to promote gay stereotypes. And fuck you for acting like his extreme is any better than the other extreme. There is a middle way you know.
AtticusBennett
@thisisnotreal: here’s why you’re an idiot – his “personal choice” is actually a condemnation of all gay men who don’t take his chosen path of celibacy. his message – that gay sex and gay intimacy are abominable sins – is exactly what splits families apart, drives young men to suicide, and gives people no hope of happiness and love in life.
yuo’re upset with intelligent gays who are CORRECTLY pointing out that this man’s “love the sinner hate the sin” message is the very ignorant force that destroys lives? then you’re a complete, and i mean COMPLETE, f***ing moron.
which is to be expected from you.
you’re an “openly gay man”, eh? prove it. show yourself. you won’t. because you’re not an openly gay man. you’re an anonymous mentally-stunted internet coward. thanks for sharing.
Zekester
@thisisnotreal: No one is telling him how to live his life. We’re asking him to stop spreading the nonsense that there is something wrong with people who don’t believe as he believes and do as he does. This is the core source of homophobic legal and social oppression in this country and around the world. That’s why his “opinion” is harmful and even dangerous. He preaches that men who have sex with men are sinners, less Christian, less worthy and generally less-than in the eyes of some god. To that I say a hearty FUCK YOU! Why can he not just live his life according to his beliefs without having to try to convince other people to do the same?
Giancarlo85
@AtticusBennett: Exactly. Look I don’t have an issue with people who are celibate, just people who peddle hateful crap like this guy. And yes, that “love the sinner hate the sin” message is incredibly self destructive.
At any rate, thisisnotreal won’t reply to any of us. It’s pretty obvious he’s a one time poster trying to get a reaction. There are these one time hit and run trolls on here… and hilarious he tried to claim he’s an out gay man. More like closeted idiot.
guyinnh
@Zekester: you and those like Mr. AtticusBennett are the ones perpetuating gay (and true) stereotypes. the guy feels his religion is more important to him and his happiness than sex and the gays want to take him out to the square and stone him because his celibacy represents some kind of condemnation of homosexuality. leave it to the gay community to come out against self restraint and discipline as something to be villainized and mocked.
guyinnh
@AtticusBennett: there is certainly an idiot on this thread, that i agree. if there is one thing you would be well served to take away and understand from thisisnotreal’s post its this: “i hope the gay community doesnt turn into the oppressors we have fought for so long.” like the man who was the subject of this article there was no hateful comments about homosexuality, the hate came from small-minded dweebs like yourself that are incapable of nuance or understanding an issue beyond “he’s good he’s bad, I’m right your wrong”. the only hate exposed here came from your keyboard. you sir are the intolerant oppressor.
martinbakman
I see by those books in the background he has something important to say.
AtticusBennett
http://goodmenproject.com/families/4-promises-from-a-christian-pastor-dad-if-his-children-turn-out-to-be-gay-wat/
*ahem*
had this broken pastor had a father like this man, he’d not be the self-hating coward he is today.
“the oppressors” are those who continue to promote the idea that gay sex is a sin.
it’s no surprise that the cowards defending this pathetic excuse for a man are all Anonymous Commenters – you boys are such wimps, and so intellectually stunted, it’s actually sad.
“no hateful comments about homosexuality”, eh? no. just comments stating that those of us who aren’t celibate are sinning. sinners. sinful sinners sinning and angering god and damning ourselves.
i won’t apologize for being smarter than you, nor for having the spine you’ll never know.
yes. i’m such an intolerant oppressor, calling out bigoted ideologies that result in LGBT people feeling unloved, confused, obsessed with being “sinful”, and many taking their own lives.
@guyinnh: FALSE.
this isn’t self-restraint – this is a weak-minded cowards fear of “going to hell” for acting on his own nature.
Intent and Motivation – why is this man celibate? because he thinks gay sex is a sin, gays shouldn’t be allowed to marry, therefore all of us that have sex and/or marry are angering God and going to Hell.
it’s not self restraint. he’s had to neuter himself for his bigoted family to tolerate him, and that’s what oppression is.
http://littlekiwilovesbauhaus.blogspot.ca/2014/06/thank-you-mum-and-dad.html
there’s my family. to the folks defending this pastor, where is YOUR family? let’s see ’em.
you can’t say that our lives, and our love, are sinful and then pretend your statements or beliefs are not harmful.
wanna be a celibate gay so your crap family will tolerate you? go right ahead and waste your own life. but the moment you evangelize your ignorance you deserve all the vitriol that comes your way.
AtticusBennett
@guyinnh: yup. i perpetuate a gay stereotype. in that i’m educated, well-read, and don’t live in fear of what ignorant low-thinking bigots think. i’m a stereotypical gay in that i don’t live each day terrified of what right-wing Christians think. i embody the gay stereotype of the man who lives his life on his own terms, not the terms doled out by a misogynistic and homophobic reading of an ancient text.
what stereotype are you? oh, right. the stereotypical internet coward who peddles intellectual-falsehoods from a place of anonymity. *snap*
http://littlekiwilovesbauhaus.blogspot.ca/2013/07/pride-2013.html
AtticusBennett
fun fact! this self-hating idiot pastor is engaged to an asian woman. yay!
Bauhaus
@AtticusBennett:
Game, Set and Match.
tricky ricky
did this mealy mouthed twerp not get the memo that you are not allowed in any way shape or form to acknowledge that you are in the least little bit gay whether you are having sex or not? that you have to live your entire life hiding your true thoughts and feelings to be accepted by the antigay religious nut jobs and must pretend to be a card carrying heterosexual?
tricky ricky
@guyinnh: even if gays did what he said they still wouldn’t be accepted by the religious right wing nut jobs who endlessly gay bash. even to THINK you are gay is a grave sin to them. so he, like you, can shut your mealy little mouths and go the hell away.
guyinnh
@AtticusBennett: oh my. by your self description you are clearly an excellent person and the ideal specimen of a gay man. and you know what they say about people that rant at length at how great they are: they always are!! isn’t that what people say? maybe i have it backwards.
your response is actually the perfect example of the self obsessed gay man whose identity is solely attached to being gay. this may sound completely outrageous, unlikely, impossible perhaps but there are people with different values and priorities in life and that is OK. are vegetarians morally naive because they think killing animals is wrong? the guy doesn’t want to have sex with men, he doesn’t think that is important to him and there are other things in life, why is he so terrible? oh right, because that isn’t what YOU want for yourself.
and what is with this anonymous commenting thing? are you trying to get my number or something?
guyinnh
@AtticusBennett: and i made my self-obsessed comment BEFORE i looked at your blog. dear god man.
tricky ricky
@guyinnh: @guyinnh: I am so sick and tired of you straight trolls going to gay websites and spewing your vile bilge and telling us what we are doing and who we are. I suspect you are nothing but a little self loathing closet case who really needs a good old fashioned f*ck. now get out there and lift your legs to jesus and praise the lord. I refuse to live by some stupid bronze age book of myths rules. nobody should have to accept the barbarity of the bible and the rules of a bunch of descendants of syphilitic brained village idiots who believe that hog wash and do what ever they damn well please all the while bashing gays and deny them rights. gays are the only so called sinners that have to put up with this bullsh*t. and don’t be telling us what the gay tenets are. you mental midgets make this sh*t up as you go along pulling our rote replies from your big old handbook of gay bashing as needed to silence anyone who disagrees with you and your evil disgusting ways.
tricky ricky
@guyinnh: HE DOESN’T WANT GAYS TO HAVE ANY RIGHTS. so shut the f*ck up troll.
AtticusBennett
“the guy doesn’t want to have sex with men, he doesn’t think that is important to him and there are other things in life, why is he so terrible? oh right, because that isn’t what YOU want for yourself.”
no. because he’s saying go marriage goes against God and having sex is a sin if you’re gay. #duh
were you homeschooled or were your parents siblings?
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Talk about making a virtue out of necessity.
Wow, cheap as fuck earning your martyr wings these days.
#BringBackThe Lions
Ron King
Good for her..
Xzamilio
@guyinnh: http://shallowvoices.blogspot.com/2014/02/okay-to-be-ex-gay.html
A lot of us here have struggled coming to terms with who we are because we didn’t grow up in accepting societies or families. So you’ll understand if I take issue with someone’s lackadaisical approach to sexual orientation as being something you can just suppress. Because that worked real well with the Catholic priesthood, right?
guyinnh
@tricky ricky: i’m not making anything up. everything i am saying is illustrated perfectly by you and other commentators on this article as well as this entire Internet magazine. @AtticusBennett , he believes what he believes. the only reason i am even coming to his defense is because i am tired and disgusted with the gay communities intolerance of other peoples values.
lets say this guy decides to marry a women and has a kid and is happy; the gay community would lash out at him for lying to himself. self loathing biggot, a wretched person. why? because the only value that gay men cherish is sexual liberation, indulgence, anything goes, and suggesting anything contrary to that is unacceptable.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: You’re an idiot. Who are you to come on here and tell us that this guy should be respected? He’s spewing intolerance and hatred of gay people… he’s attacking our families and our even being together. So please shut the fuck up.
—the guy feels his religion is more important to him and his happiness than sex and the gays want to take him out to the square and stone him because his celibacy represents some kind of condemnation of homosexuality.–
He can feel whatever way he wants, but he’s out there telling people are doing wrong and advocating that people do one thing. He’s attacking others. So open your peanut sized mind and look at the reality.
guyinnh
@Xzamilio: he isn’t suppressing his sexuality he is committing himself to celibacy. i take issue with your catholic priest analogy because you are essentially saying that gay men that don’t have sex become sexual predators.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: How are we oppressing anyone (and I don’t mean you, as you’re not gay)? We aren’t passing any laws against this man. We aren’t out there advocating that he be silenced (please understand criticism is NOT silencing or oppressing anyone). What laws has the gay community passed to prevent this man from living his life? None (no matter how much Fox News tells you otherwise).
I’m so sick of these fakes on here claiming they are gay, but then spewing this bullshit.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: He’s spewing hatred and bigotry towards other gay people. If he wanted to be a celebate religious nut that’s his own deal. But once he starts voicing out in public against others and actually advocating against them people have a right to react.
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: drama queen! where is the hatred and intolerance coming from him in this article? all he is saying is his book says he shouldn’t so he isn’t going to, and his book is more important to him than fucking men. again, i reiterate the “peanut sized” mind of gays such as yourself that cannot possibly fathom another man not prioritizing sex over everything else in their life.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: You are full of shit.
Quotes:
““I believe that the Bible and the Christian tradition don’t endorse same-sex sexual activity.””
If someone wanted to enter a same-sex union (or was already in one), I would encourage them to consider whether their love for each other could be expressed without sex.”
—-
This is bigotry. Plain and simple. You stupid dolt. Maybe if you had half of a fucking brain to think with you would realize that.
And one other thing I am not prioritizing sex over everything else in my life. You stupid illiterate fool. And learn how to come up with your own words. Don’t copy my own.
Giancarlo85
Now this idiot troll thinks gay men like me only think about sex. Err wrong. I do have a boyfriend, but I think about work, my life, paying bills, etc. Take your fucking homophobic bullshit somewhere else.
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: “I would encourage them to consider whether their love for each other could be expressed without sex”
i am an atheist and do not subscribe to his religious justifications but i think his quote is brilliant and the exercise of this if only a thought is completely lost to you and 90% of gay men.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: You are not an atheist. You are not gay. Now go infest some other site with your illiterate rantings and delusions. His quote is that of stupidity. Sexuality is normal among human beings. And please don’t speak for me again because you don’t have a mind to think with.
Xzamilio
@guyinnh: Take issue with it all you want… I take issue with archaic beliefs that warp sexuality and take one of the most basic aspects of human nature (sex) and turn it into a bargaining chip for afterlife woo woo bullshit. I don’t give a damn what conclusion you drew from what I said because I don’t too much see religion as any force for good derived solely from its existence. And if you think his quote is brilliant, I would like to thank you for showing that atheists can be just as stupid as theists.
polarisfashion
A gay friend of mine has chosen a life of celibacy because he found religion with the RCC. I feel bad for him because he is denying who he is. None of our mutual gay friends understand him. He still talks to some of us but I miss the old him that used to go dancing and bar hopping with us.
David Tillman
Yes hahah just like he’s done with grindr and scruff….he’ll just get them again in a week.
enlightenone
@thisisnotreal: “…And before someone calls me a homophobe,or a closet case…”
… Just no intellectually astute! And that’s okay, being “openly gay” doesn’t require social intelligence.
Saint Law
@guyinnh: Celibacy isn’t incompatible with prioritising sex. In fact, as the pretend virgin admits, sex has a surpassing significance for them, albeit a neurotic and destructive one.
And I suppose that’s where you and he agree. He doesn’t have sex because he thinks there’s something wrong with it, whereas you clearly have a lot of sex, but don’t enjoy it because you too feel there is something wrong with it.
And perhaps the sex available to you is awful. But that isn’t down to sex per se. That’s down to you. You’re clearly an awful human being.
guyinnh
@Xzamilio: again, its all about sex! is it possible to love someone without sex?
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: Who is saying it is all about sex? Are you illiterate?
guyinnh
@Saint Law: “you clearly have a lot of sex”
hmmm, at what point was that indicated in anything i said? the underlying point i am making here is this:
sex is all that gay men care about which is very well demonstrated by the vitriol being shown for this gay men choosing celibacy because that is what he wants. believe it or not there are more important things in life than sex but this is completely lost to gay men who worship sexual indulgence like he does the bible.
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: since you seem to be a literary master might you be clever enough to come up with another retort beyond “are you illiterate”? are you expecting me to answer with a yes or no?
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: More illiteracy. Sex isn’t all what gay men care about. At least not the ones you have met. I have already talked about more important priorities in my life. And no one is spewing vitriol. Seriously get a fucking life. No matter how much you say your homophobic bigotry on here nobody is buying into it.
Worship sexual indulgence? Seriously get the fuck out of here. Nobody is doing that on here.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: Well idiot, you reuse words I used so you’re not very smart to begin with. Get some original material please.
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: you are wrong. i also question if you understand the meaning of illiteracy at this point. is there something i should be reading? i think what you mean to say is that i am ignorant.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh:How am I wrong? Because you say so? Oh yes… you’ve been outstanding with your lack of logic. You don’t know how to fucking read and you’re extremely ignorant. And yes, you don’t know to read well at all = hence your illiteracy.
Stupid tool.
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: ok boss, you got me. i do not know how to read.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: Stop being a smartass.
Xzamilio
@guyinnh: Wrong… HE made it about sex. HE’S the one who seems to think you cannot have any kind of relationship with a same gender person, sex or no sex, so don’t try that crap with me, you willfully ignorant jackass. I don’t think about sex every waking hour, but only a moron would think that sex does not play an important role in forming bonds and loving relationships. THAT’S my issue… that this ignoramus has whittled his existence down to “celibacy”, meaning that sex is CLEARLY important to him, otherwise he wouldn’t be running away from it to please sky daddy. The real question here is, why does he think he can impose his own sexual hangups on others just because HE can’t look at another man without thinking about his mouth wrapped around their di–
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: ok i’ve just stopped being a smartass.
guyinnh
@Xzamilio: all i would say to that is that you like most men (gay or straight alike) are not very evolved when it comes to forming social/intimate relationships. once you get past sexualizing everything you can actually start appreciating life, people, experiences for what they truly are and that is the life he aspires to lead. again i would not expect anyone here to understand or even entertain this idea because sex and sexuality is only thing this community stands for.
guyinnh
@polarisfashion: ” but I miss the old him that used to go dancing and bar hopping with us.”
what a life he has chosen to leave behind indeed.
Xzamilio
@guyinnh: Oh, so is that what it is? Because I have sex, I’m not evolved enough to go out and experience life, appreciating it and the people and experiences for what they truly are? Because sweaty coitus apparently must zap the part of the brain that allows for me to appreciate life. Dude, you’re talking to an atheist… you’ll find most of us DO appreciate life, and cherish it, considering it’s the only one we know we’ll have. I find that most men (like you and this pastor) are likely burned out whores who couldn’t figure out how to make those bonds of love without equating it to sex, and now feel that everything gay men do or feel about each other is tied to bumping and grinding… but then again, this is religion, hands down, so I’m not interesting in tired-ass apologetics from brainwashed theists… especially the ones resolved to being husks of who they are while their straight counterparts get to enjoy REAL love that sky daddy approves of…
Xzamilio
@guyinnh: And by the way, he can “aspire” to lead any life he so chooses… but that doesn’t mean I won’t mock it for the harmful religious nonsense it is.
Atrius
“a life of hospitable community”….hmmm sounds like he’s decided to let the anti-gay people win who believe if they treat us badly enough we’ll stop being gay. Well he’s giving them exactly what they want.
Not me.
guyinnh
@Xzamilio: without having an in depth personal discussion with you its impossible to know for sure. but if i were to make a reasonable guess and assessment of you i am quite confident that no, you are not a very evolved person, and are probably very much stuck on the hamster wheel that most gay men find themselves on.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: People aren’t sexualizing everything. You are just being paranoid and delusional.
” once you get past sexualizing everything you can actually start appreciating life, people, experiences for what they truly are and that is the life he aspires to lead.”
What a pile of pretentious crap. Just because someone has sex with another doesn’t mean they can’t appreciate life, people and have good experiences.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: You condescending little shit. What makes you better than other gay men?
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: have you been to a gay bar? san fran/boys town/ptown? have you read this website? have you watched tv shows or movies featuring gay men? have you spent any time around gay men? how many hookup apps do you have on your phone? you cannot honestly say that the social lives of gay men are not disproportionately sexualized as compared to any other.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: Blah blah blah… you always know better don’t you? Thanks for all your idiotic questions. Yes I have been to gay bars, to West Hollywood and have read this website. You frankly don’t know shit. Many gay men are not fixated on sex. But it seems like you are. By the way, men in general like sex. That’s just a normal thing. Have you seen heterosexual men before?
You’re just stupid. Mind numbingly fucking stupid.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: And I highly doubt someone like you even knows any gay people. Seriously fuck off dipshit.
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: you know that i am correct about this. think about it.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: Correct about what? that you’re spouting out of thin air? Stop trying to be better than other people. You’re a delusional paranoid idiot. What part of “NH” do you live in? Must not be many people around there. I live in Los Angeles.
guyinnh
i spent 8 years emersed in the gay community and with friends and social groups consisting almost exclusively of gay men before coming to the final conclusion that the priorities and lifestyle of this community are quite simply dumb. the TV show looking actually pretty brilliantly spells out the life of a group of gay men and it really captures the pointlessness of it.
enlightenone
@guyinnh: ““I would encourage them to consider whether their love for each other could be expressed without sex”
Why should WE?
Nothing “brilliant” here, just pandering to political, controlling, disjointed, incomprehensible text that is the “Bible” or some churches’ dogma!
guyinnh
@enlightenone: the question is are you even capable of it? i suspect based on your answer you are not, and that is sad.
Xzamilio
@guyinnh: You’ll have to forgive me, but considering your defense of such antiquated nonsense being promoted by the subject of this article, I don’t hold your poor attempts at assessing my mindset to high esteem. But if it makes you feel better, I didn’t think much of your views in the first place, so you can’t really get lower than ground level. The only ones on the hamster wheels are the fundamentalists buffoons still holding to iron age mythology while the rest of us have moved into the 21st century… still believing in books that subjugate women, kills gays and nonbelievers, and says bats are birds. Surprising you said “evolved”… his type aren’t so big on the evolution thing.
enlightenone
@guyinnh: “…the priorities and lifestyle of this community are quite simply dumb.”
This explains your shallow thinking! Got it.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: Bullshit on all counts. You never spent 8 years immersed in anything. I’ve lived in major cities most of my life. You live in some town and you don’t know anybody there. You’re about as stupid as it comes.
guyinnh
@Xzamilio: you are completely fixated on the religious text and not on my point.
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: just because you have lived in metropolitan areas doesn’t make you smart enough to understand your environment.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: You are smart enough to understand shit or anything around you. You are as dumb as a fucking rock.
I know my environment far more than some loser like you.
What is your point anyways? Some delusional paranoid bullshit? Did some guy break your heart? Probably…
Giancarlo85
@Giancarlo85: *aren’t
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: i have stated my point numerous times.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: No you haven’t. You don’t have any point. You’re on here bitching and all this other shit.
Don’t you realize most gay men don’t go to clubs or are part of the scene? Most are just working to pay bills and live life? Who the fuck are you anyways to question others?
polarisfashion
@guyinnh: Point is, we used to go out and have fun! Now I have to walk on eggshells because I have to be careful with what I say. He believes same sex attraction is a sin and he has flip flopped on some progressive issues.
lcandela123
@Bob LaBlah: I also thought the article was overly disrespectful. I disagree with the man’s position, but why all of the invective?
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: i have addressed my point multiple times in multiple posts.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: You have totally and completely failed at that. Sorry.
Xzamilio
@guyinnh: Because you don’t have a point outside of the religious text and even less justification for defending this guy’s nonsense when you try to… but, what is your point since you keep bringing up how everyone is missing it? Is your point that we as gay men center our entire existences around sex? That the moron in the article has a point and that the only thing we that are in relationships can offer each other is “sex”? You do realize that we don’t need a relationship for sex to happen, so wouldn’t that just be a pointless task? But, please… break your point down to me and explain it thoroughly… it’s hard to absorb and process data, me not being as “evolved.”
Bauhaus
@Giancarlo85:
Nothing worse than a “reformed” anything in life. That loon in Nh has serious hang-ups. Repressed, angry, bitter, cynical, and jaded. Yuck.
onthemark
@guyinnh: NH = “Live Free Or Die”
You seem to have chosen the latter?
You keep saying you’ve made your points “multiple times in multiple posts.” Okay, we understand what you don’t do (i.e. have sex) but what do you actually do up there in NH? Sit around patting yourself on the back for being celibate? What do you do in NH besides NOT have sex?
Bauhaus
@onthemark:
New Hampshire is a haven for anarchists and political rabble-rousers.
onthemark
@Bauhaus: Oh I’m aware of that. But it’s not clear that’s his thing. He has even denied having religious motives – which makes him rather off-topic, considering the topic of the article – and he just rambles on about how sex-crazed the “gay community” supposedly is.
So I wonder how he spends his time up there. (Does it involve goats?)
guyinnh
@Xzamilio: run-down of my “points” that I have made numerous times through the course of this commentary:
This conversation started with people assailing the gay pastor guy for choosing celibacy and pursuing “a life of hospitable community, deep friendship, and genuine love” which everyone here took out of context and accuse him of being a self loathing monster. he is gay, he believes in the teachings of his book, he is choosing to abstain from sex with men, and everyone here seems to think a gay man not having sex with gay men is sacrilege. i said that i thought his statement about “If someone wanted to enter a same-sex union (or was already in one), I would encourage them to consider whether their love for each other could be expressed without sex” was a compelling idea to consider. Not because I don’t think people should have sex but because I think there could be no more foreign an idea for a gay man to consider and that exploring this might lead someone to a greater understanding about the true nature of meaningful, lasting relationships. Which leads to my next point:
Gay male culture dramatically over-sexualizes everything; tv, movies, media (like this site), bars, hookup apps, casual sex, conversations, sex is the dominating over-riding theme that pervades all aspects of gay male life. this preoccupation with sex leads to a community of incredibly shallow, thoughtless priorities. why do we hang out with other gay men? what do all gay men as far as a social group/community have in common? they prefer having sex with men; that is the foundational basis that this community is borne from and the result is not surprising: everything is sexualized.
of course now i am accused of being the scorned, self loathing gay man as the gays brand people that dare question the values of this often cult-like community. my challenge to you would be to take the sexual component out of your social life and exist as a human being seeking relationships/connections for intellectual fulfillment. why do girls like hanging out with gay men? in many cases because the conflict of sexual tension does not exist, there is purity of intentions in the friendship.
my point is that there are more important things in life than sex and an evolved person understands this. why are mom and dad still happily together after 40 years? not because of the sex. peter-pan syndrome is another symptom of this problem in the community, but I digress.
CCTR
The sad thing is that this guy writes and sells books that I am sure are being used by religious people to make young people feel worthless, shameful and hopeless if they have same sex sexual attractions.
If any conflicted young people are reading these comments… seek out books and resources that will help you reconcile your faith with your sexual orientation, not put them at odds with each other. Religious faith is learned and can be unlearned or changed. Your sexual orientation is yours and yours forever.
If celibacy is his “worthy calling” good for him, but that doesn’t mean its good for others. I can imagine he has a loose definition of celibacy, “deep friendships” and “genuine love”.
guyinnh
@CCTR: they should equally be made aware of the false promises of a shallow community centered on sexual indulgence.
CCTR
@guyinnh: If there were any such promises of a shallow community centered on sexual indulgence I think they should be made aware of that too. I don’t think the gay community makes any promises. They should be made aware of the facts that repressing one’s sexuality can be very difficult, harmful, and depressing. I’m not sure how much community is inherently involved in being gay or in having sex with someone of the same sex.
onthemark
@guyinnh: But you haven’t answered my question yet – what do you actually DO up there besides NOT have sex? Do you carve duck decoys? Build birdhouses? Do you own any goats???
guyinnh
@CCTR: 90%
guyinnh
@onthemark: i think.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: You really are inclined to stupid bullshit aren’t you?
I made it very clearly I have no problem with anyone being celibate. I do have a problem when people like this guy make statements directly at gay couples teling them what they should do or should not do. And this guy will also most likely advocate anti-gay laws and get his followers to do the same.
What he does personally is NOT my business, but what he says publically is my business and I will have a right to criticize him. If he criticizes my relationship, I’ll criticize him. THat’s only fair.
You’re a jaded paranoid fool. Many gay people don’t take part in hooking up and other factors. MAny are in relationships and want recognition (that’s what the current legal battle in front of the Supreme Court is all about). You, being the naive little brat you are, took something you saw on Will and Grace or some other TV show and thought it represented gay culture. I don’t believe for a moment you ever were in any predominantly gay neighborhood, business or establishment. By the way, I hang out with some gay men because they are my friends and nothing more. It seems to me you can’t differentiate between a friendship, a relationship or sexual contact. Gay men tend to be friends with each other because many go through the same struggles in live. Everything is NOT sexualized.
This again you being a paranoid jaded tool… you think you have all the answers. The problem with your arguments is they are one-sided perspective of someone who clearly has a major chip on shoulder from prior bad experiences. And what cult like community? Again another farcical lie. Everything you say is quite baseless. You want a cult like community? Take a look at the religious sects in this country (particularly the one this Pastor is part of being). Religion is more like a cult and is the opiate of the stupid masses (much like yourself).
Many gay couples have been together for decades… so take your snob like attitude somewhere else. You aren’t better than everyone else and you certainly don’t stand above other gay people. And for many gay people sex isn’t everything. Sex isn’t the basis of my life… it isn’t even the basis of my relationship.
So do us all a favor, take your know-it-all attitude somewhere else. We’ve heard enough of it. And please get a life.
CCTR
@guyinnh: You are entitled to your opinion but do you agree that his writings have the potential to do more harm than good, particularly concerning young people that may be conflicted about their sexuality and religious beliefs?
CCTR
@guyinnh: oops, thanks but no thanks. I just read some of your other comments and I see you are coming from a totally different understanding.
Best wishes!
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: the fact is sir you are grossly incorrect about my history. you are also naive and oversimplify a more complicated social dynamic you are incapable or (less likely) unwilling to explore or understand. my conclusions are not only based on my own experiences but also observing others. i am certain if i looked over your own social situation, relationships and history i would only find evidence to support my position. people are not complicated but they are commonly flawed and the patterns of gay male social interactions are as predictable as the tides.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: Naive and oversimplify? Are you really this much of a douchebag? I know more about gay culture than you ever will. How old are you? 20? Get real please. Your conclusions are based on idiocy and paranoia. You can’t observe others with shit covered sunglasses on. In other words, you are too biased to make objective conclusions about others. That has to do with your huge personality flaws and that serious chip on your shoulder.
Giancarlo85
@Giancarlo85: ” i am certain if i looked over your own social situation, relationships and history i would only find evidence to support my position.”
Oh yeah? What would you know about my social situation, relationships and history? I’ve been in a monogamous relationship for six years now. So yeah, you are quite a stupid little thing. You don’t know shit about my own situation.
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: “Are you really this much of a douchebag?”
No.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: Then don’t make stupid statements about my own personal life.
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: i am certain without any doubt whatever your situation may be it is a snapshot of the same experience i have seen time and again.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: You should try not to type in run-on sentences. What is my situation exactly, moron? I already described it to you. I’ve been in a monogamous relationship for six years. Anything else?
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: “Anything else?”
without a doubt
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: Without a doubt, you’re a fucking idiot that doesn’t know anything about my situation. End of story!
transiteer
Another self-hating gay, who has taken refuge in that Holy Book of Assorted Fairy Stories (no pun intended) to justify why WE are not good, and he is because he’s celibate.
The Bible is Fiction. The Gospels are a Roman Public Works project to pacify those rebellious Jews, and each and every one is made up – fake. And that’s his refuge? Christian compassion typically missing in action too.
More rubbish from another f**ked up christian half-wit who thinks he’s found his answer. Bent of the dining room table with a crowd around would give him his answer, and disclose the real valuelessness of religion.
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: you are not unique
guyinnh
@transiteer: he never said you aren’t good.
Xzamilio
@guyinnh: Your challenge is rejected and nonsensical. Apparently, your existence or your knowledge of gay men only goes as far as TV, movies, and the Internet, because everything you just said applies to a SUBSET of the gay community that would be found likely in the LA or WeHo with the rest of the self-obsessed bobbleheads with vain aspirations of fame, but likely destinations in low-rent bareback basement porn. It is not my problem that you and this guy have created some false dichotomy where the only two options are being some sex-crazed slut or a celibate eunuch for the rest of your life (obviously he’s not castrated, but still).
” i said that i thought his statement about “If someone wanted to enter a same-sex union (or was already in one), I would encourage them to consider whether their love for each other could be expressed without sex” was a compelling idea to consider. Not because I don’t think people should have sex but because I think there could be no more foreign an idea for a gay man to consider and that exploring this might lead someone to a greater understanding about the true nature of meaningful, lasting relationships.”
It’s not a compelling idea at all… in fact, the way he worded it was quite narrow minded and telling of his own deep ignorance about his own sexual orientation. Make no mistake, there is nothing eye-opening or profound coming out of this man’s mouth, and I am trying my hardest to remain civil with you, but your own deep ignorance to the spectrum of the homosexual community is grating. When you only look for one type of aspect that supports your argument while ignoring all others, you are committing confirmation bias.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: You are a loser and don’t know anything about gay people. All you see is on TV and the internet. You are pathetic. I don’t even know why anyone bothers responding to you anymore.
guyinnh
@Xzamilio: well i hate to take advantage of your civility but you are wrong about this. it is not a subset, it is completely pervasive among gay men. i have socialized with every possible gay demographic and it always devolves into the same sex driven narrative.
Giancarlo85
Never have I met such an idiot who pretends to be a know-it-all. What a complete failure of a human being.
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: perhaps because i strike a cord
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: How so?
I’ve already explained my personal situation quite well, and it doesn’t seem to match your incorrect view.
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: you don’t know what my view is of your situation, i didn’t tell you.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: Are you autistic?
Just an honest question.
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: yes. i also cannot read.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: Oh and you did tell me. Saying it matched the stereotypes you saw on TV. You’re a true idiot.
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: i think it is you that cannot read.
Bauhaus
@Giancarlo85:
Remember what I said about the “reformed” kind of people? They spend a lot of energy and time arguing, fussing, instead of living. He’s so desperate to be right, because he either was that person, or was crushed by the sort of person he keeps describing.
fetch3535
I’d like to get him drunk just to draw many dicks on that billboard forehead.
guyinnh
@Bauhaus: yawn…..
guyinnh
@Bauhaus: desperate…..must….be…..correct!
have you ever had an original thought? or do you always regurgitate the same canned responses hoping people will think you are clever when your just repeating the only things you have ever heard over and over again?
Xzamilio
@guyinnh: No you haven’t… unless you’re a magician or 200 years old, I guarantee you have not associated with every gay demographic and are simply saying that to justify your ignorant position. Tell me… what did you learn from each of these demographics? Surely, you have some stories from around the world and America, and within each state, city, town, community, group of friends, etc. Enlightened this person in need of “evolving.”
guyinnh
@Xzamilio: i have spoon-fed you enough enlightenment at this point. if you are curious and objective enough take a hard look for yourself and see what you find.
Xzamilio
@guyinnh: In other words, “Duhhhh…. I got nothing.”
Giancarlo85
@Bauhaus: You can’t help someone who is as dense and stubborn as him. He seems to try to know everything and fails so miserably at it. And he’s been on here all day repeating the same things over and over. It doesn’t seem like he ever logs off… I wonder if he has a life.
Xzamilio
@Xzamilio: You’ll write a freaking novel poorly defending some repressed dimwit but when challenged to present your own experiences, you tuck your tail between your legs and run off. Figured as much.
guyinnh
@Xzamilio: there is nothing unique about my own experiences. they are all the same.
RyanD
@guyinnh: This has been an…interesting conversation you stirred up.
I have a question for you, if I may.
You seem entirely focused on same-sex relationships, that are to your opinion are solely based on sex, but what of opposite-sex relationships?
Are you equally as condemning to them as same-sex relationships simply because they from time to time have sex with each other? (much like same-sex couples)
As for my opinion of this pastor: I don’t care what he does with his life, but more often than not it’ll end with him “renouncing” his orientation and insulting gay couples who are not as religiously-bothered as he is.
guyinnh
@Xzamilio: it is not possible for me to explain this to you because you are not self aware enough to comprehend it and i doubt you truly even care to know. all my critics here have demonstrated that they are happy little hamsters running on their wheels.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: The arrogant delusions of grandeur continue. He seems to try to elevate himself. Funny seeing this guy falling right on his face. You’re the only little hamster here… a brainless idiot running aimlessly and trying to sound intelligent. Nothing more than a pseudo-intellectual warped idiot.
guyinnh
@RyanD: i am equally condemning but the situation is not apples to apples. the preoccupation with sex is not as prevalent or pervasive in straight culture as it is with gay men, and that is saying a lot. i think women provide a buffer against the uninbitited desires men have toward sex, which is why lesbians are comparatively benign in this regard and so family oriented. this is also why i think gay male culture is so extreme in its obsession with sexualizing everything, because men (boys) just reinforce, legitimize and empower their sexual immaturity with each other.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: There he goes again… repeating what he did hours and hours and hours ago… seriously get a life. You already said that and it already has been debunked.
guyinnh
@Giancarlo85: your comments are really not very interesting. i’m not sure trying harder will help. i just don’t think you are very smart.
guyinnh
@guyinnh: and you are not correct. the women buffer thing is new to this discussion. pay attention or please stop participating because all you are providing is white noise.
RyanD
@guyinnh: And if I may go further, how have you come to your conclusions? If people are going to generalize, I’d like to hear their reasoning.
guyinnh
@RyanD: i am too tired to go into that detail at this point. if you have a specific question i’ll try to answer it. otherwise, i would point you to previous posts on this thread or looking objectively at your own experiences.
Xzamilio
@guyinnh: Can you do anything else other than insult my intelligence while conflating your own to some unattainable level that makes it incapable for you to “dumb it down” for me? You’re a coward. Your experiences are the same because you don’t go anywhere… you don’t do anything… you take your cues from pop culture and then proceed to come online and pretend you’re some cultured gay man when you’re nothing but a troll spewing pseudo-intellectual BS.
Xzamilio
@guyinnh: Too tired. Replace “tired” with “intellectually dishonest” and you’d be more accurate.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: And your comments are incredibly bland. You keep repeating the same thing over and over again. You’ve been on this site for perhaps 15 hours now. You’ve never logged off. Do you have a life? Yes you are too tired to go into detail… because you failed miserably. And yes, definitely intellectually dishonest. You can’t defend your own arguments.
Xzamilio
@Giancarlo85: Crap… you and me are on the same page that it’s not even funny.
RyanD
@guyinnh: But that’s just it, I read your comments and they strike me as a result of conformation bias.
You automatically assumed your hypothesis (gay men only care about sex) and continued to seek validation (bars, sex clubs, etc) and concluded that you are correct.
Seeing as though you’re not willing to state your reasoning, I have to assume you used your limited experience.
I also wanted to address a point you made earlier. You stated that gay relationships are only based on sex and not on emotional or romantic worth, but what of relationships that are emotionally and romantically satisfying while still enjoying sex.
You seem to have taken an extreme stance on this topic, while a middle-ground is quite reasonable, no?
guyinnh
@Xzamilio: its kind of hilarious to me that people assume i don’t go anywhere or do anything made even more amusing because if i attempt to tell you otherwise you won’t believe me. i assure you i have had a vibrant gay social life and know these things to be true.
RyanD
@guyinnh: Ahem. Please refrain from projecting your issues on to others please. It’s rude.
Even though I disagree with your opinion, the name-calling (by everyone) is very stifling of this conversation.
guyinnh
@RyanD: it is not practical or possible for me to detail every single experience i have had that has lead me to this understanding. this comes from the conglomeration of years of experiences living among gay men that i have come to these conclusions.
let me rephrase that i believe that gay relationships are predominantly based first on sex, particularly among men in their 20s-30s-40s, not exclusively.
i think there are less men on the middle ground on this topic than would like to think they are. the middle ground is convenient when you don’t want something, and when that happens no holds barred.
guyinnh
@RyanD: this is the trough my friend, if you can’t take a little name calling than i would turn the page. as long as you keep it thoughtful and respectful i will follow in kind
RyanD
@guyinnh: As opposed to straight relationships that are…what? More emotionally based? And let me assume, your “conglomeration of years of experiences” can verify?
I think I got all the information I need from you. Thank you for assertions.
guyinnh
@RyanD: you are conflating my point. there is more balance and restraint among straight relationships/community than exists with gay men.
RyanD
@guyinnh: I’d like you to thank you for responding to my questions, even though I don’t find them very convincing.
And as a tip, if you’re going to play Devil’s Advocate so much, I’d consider wearing a lot of red.
Have a good one.
RyanD
@RyanD: To thank you, rather. Where’s the edit button…
guyinnh
@RyanD: i’m not going to divulge every personal detail about my life to testify to something that is so easily identifiable among gay men.
ditto
Xzamilio
@guyinnh: And that’s what I said at first. That you struck me as a burnt out gay man who was a huge slut in his heyday and is now projecting his old promiscuous habits onto others. I assure you, as a gay man who was stationed in Germany for 4 years, I saw almost everything there was to offer, sexually, and did not partake in it all because it wasn’t my kind of thing. We all have those ones we regret later on down the line, but you just reek of “This is who I used to be and you’re like that too because EVERYONE around me was.” Dude, if everyone here is coming to the same conclusion about you based on one on one interactions with you (And I’ll give you props for replying to each person, although you say the same thing over and over), then maybe that would give you pause and see that it’s probably you.
Xzamilio
@guyinnh:
“@RyanD: you are conflating my point. there is more balance and restraint among straight relationships/community than exists with gay men.”
And now I’m done. You can have the last word, as you have officially confirmed that your opinions are rectum-derived and lacking in any substance. I’m almost convinced that YOU’RE the guy from the article trolling Queerty. Have the last word.
guyinnh
@Xzamilio: then my last words are this: i am right.
Giancarlo85
@guyinnh: Delusions of grandeur. So sad you spent the entire day on here trying to convince everyone you are right. You come off as a ignorant pompous douchebag who isn’t right about anything.
You need mental help.
RyanD
@Giancarlo85: I’ve been making the “Sure, Jan”-look a lot throughout this page. 😛
Tebn
He has gay feelings but he is unable to bring it about. He is ASEXUAL.
He can try to overcome it or he can resign himself to a boring and unfulfilled life. He chose freely the second option.
I respect him but it’s not right that he uses homophobic arguments for justifying himself. He is not a good example, he is a bad example.
onthemark
@guyinnh: So your whole schtik is that women don’t like sex very much and therefore hetero society does it better? (in your not-so-humble opinion?)
And therefore we should ALL aspire to avoiding sex because… ?
You’re not even using religion as a “because,” you’re just saying… because?
onthemark
I tried celibacy once. Worst 4 days of my life! – ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
I’m glad “guyinnh” is doing it though. I bet all his old sex partners are glad also.
Bauhaus
@onthemark:
…heterosexual sex is slightly less gross and superfluous than gay sex. At least there’s the possibility of a baby after all of that undignified messiness (sex). Why go through all the trouble, when we can just chat and comb each other’s hair?
AtticusBennett
@guyinnh: either you’;re a right-wing Christian “Straight” person (HA!) with no life who needs to troll gay boards, or you’re a pathetic right-wing gay man who, like the pastor in this article, has a bigoted disapproving family that you’re terrified of continuously disappointing.
i’ll try to break it down into even dumber terms: it’s intent and motivation. he’s “not sexually active with men”, and opposes LGBT equality and marriage for gay couples, not because “it’s his opinion”, but because he’s one who promotes the idea that such things are sins against “God”
therefore, he’s the problem – the insecure self-hating cowards who insist and promote the belief that gay sex is wrong, is sinful, is damnable, and angers “God” – the very mentality that tears families apart and drives LGBT youth to suicide.
you don’t get it. you’re either one of the most simple-minded gay men to ever crawl on this planet, or are yet another non-gay right-wing troll who obsesses over gay issues online because you have no life of your own.
either way, you’ve made a profound fool of yourself.
AtticusBennett
@guyinnh: is your anger toward “gay men who have sex” something that stems from the obvious fact that no other gay man has ever lowered his standards to sleep with you?
AtticusBennett
@guyinnh: how are things in Peterborough? right by Mercer.
Clark35
I know gay men who are celibate but it’s by their own choice. I know a bisexual man that wanted to become a Buddhist monk and he was celibate.
AtticusBennett
“guyinnh” lives in a town with fewer than 7000 people. that’s why he says what he says about “the gay community” – he has not idea who and what we are. he’s surrounded by white conservatives in a town that doesn’t even have 10,000 people.