str8 & narrow

Don’t Call This Catholic Church’s 12-Step Program To Becoming Straight ‘Reparative Therapy’

Great news for Colorado’s homosexuals: The Catholic Diocese of Colorado Springs is launching a new 12-step program to help cure you of The Gay. But don’t confuse the new system for some quack therapy outfit, insists the Rev. Larry Brennan, a director there. “It’s not about therapy and not about activism. It’s about support.” Just like British lawmaker Roger Helmer, Brennan sees the 12-step system as merely one of many options for gay Catholics: “The people we want to reach are those who experience this as a burden.” So Step 1 now reads: “We admitted we were powerless over homosexuality—that our lives had become unmanageable.” But can Step 4 — “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves” — at least come with a same-sex pat down?

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  • Jeff K.

    Methinks they should first concentrate on making a 12-step program for their priests to keep them from fucking little kids.

  • GetBalance

    Oyavey someone please get me an anti-delusion pill for these people. ALL OF THEM. Is this not the most perfect legal pedophilia ring ever? First the Catholic church fucks boys in the ass with a big priest cock, then the boys feel horrible about it. Then they get too old for the psycho priest taste. Then they enroll in church therapy to get rid of unwanted same sex feelings, and the same orginization charges them bundlea of cold hard cash to get cured. Talk about wallowing at the scene of the crime, like, forever. It’s like asking for a shot in the head to get over the stab in the heart. These are the true poster children for wack job, the priests AND their victims. And dear “church lady” Athiest wonders why most people just can’t seem to support the Catholic church and all it’s tenants and “morals”. Seems the Bible has been breeding soooo much more than simply boys with fears their hands will fall off if they jack off and girls who can never orgasm via the virgin mother hoax. It’s so obvious it’s frightening.

  • justiceontherocks

    The twelve Steps of Courage are 30 years old. Here they are:

    We admitted that we were powerless over homosexuality and our lives had become unmanageable.
    We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
    We made a decision to turn our will and our lives to the care of God as we understood Him.
    We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
    We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
    We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of our character.
    We humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
    We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make direct amends to them all.
    We made the direct amends to such people whenever possible except when to do so would injure them or others.
    We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
    We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for the knowledge of God’s Will for us and the power to carry it out.
    Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

    Obviously the program has been ineffective among the clergy.

  • Cam

    Fine, I won’t call it ‘Reparative Therapy’, I’ll call it a bigoted attempt to focus attention AWAY from their REAL problem of child abuse, molestation, abuse of young girls, etc…

  • GetBalance

    First they love the little boys, then sex ’em, then fleece ’em for their money.

    And some say life is all about sex love and money.

    Pretty much true, at least in the Catholic church’s eyes it is. I’m just so amazed a corporation found a way to package and sell guilt so well, it became the richest corporation in the world. So much so the Vatican is considered it’s own country, though one built on the backs of the ignorant. Hey cash is cash in this world, gotta hand em that. They have made a complete killing, literally.

  • randy

    Same old snake oil, just a different bottle. I’m sure they will preach celebacy for your entire life, just an alcoholics must refrain from any drink for the rest of their life.

    Pity the poor souls who actually follow this crap.

  • Danny

    The best 12-Step program for Catholics is this:

    Step 1: Walk out of church
    Step 2: Walk down the block
    Step 3: Enter the church
    Step 4: Realize you are in an Episcopal Church or in a United Church of Christ
    Step 5: Convert to new denomination
    Step 6: Rejoice with new congregation
    Step 7: Attend new church
    Step 8: Discover you actually enjoy going to church now
    Step 9: Invite all your Catholic friends to join you
    Step 10: Internalize that being in an accepting loving church has made you so much happier than before
    Step 11: Be the great gay person you were born to be
    Step 12: Celebrate with your family and friends your newfound happiness at finding a way better church

  • the crustybastard


    Step 1: Walk out of church
    Step 2: Walk down the block

    You had me.

    Step. 3: Enter the church

    You lost me.

  • GetBalance


    Ditto to that! However, many people need to take baby steps out of milleniums of saturated misstep. The ones that do swap churches will undoubtedly find more reasons to swap and swap then drop, as time goes on. At least I pray that is the case.

  • Danny

    There are plenty of great churches filled with social-justice-loving congregations. The idea that you’ll convert people in mass numbers to be atheists is supremely naive and futile. To be blunt, without people of faith who support equality, you wouldn’t have any human rights for gay people in nations where the overwhelming majority identify as religious. However, do as you wish. You can tilt at windmills all you want and not acknowledge that plenty of people of faith stand for social justice and human rights for all people regardless of sexual orientation. You perhaps are older and only know churches that are anti-gay; much different for younger generations where you grow up in churches where there is harmony and acceptance between religion and sexual orientation.

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