FECES & LUBE

Don’t Worry, Rick Santorum Still Wants to Ban Your Gay Marriage

Phew! For a while we worried that Rick Santorum was going soft on conservative moral issues like allowing teh gays to have buttsecks in private. But never fear. If elected President of the United States of Advertising, the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex would do his best to ensure a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage so each state will have identical marriage laws—never mind that whole pesky states’ rights thing. What a prince!