dadt training

Don’t Worry Straight Soldiers: If Showering With A Homo Is Too Scary, You Can Drop The Soap Elsewhere

With all military branches now undergoing a “what life will be like after DADT is repealed” boot camp, what can servicemembers expect before they get their I’m OK With The Gay diploma? How does a two-hour training session sound? Don’t worry, there will be enthralling and suspenseful short clips covering the new Dos and Don’ts … that probably look something like this.

While the training isn’t out there to change anybody’s mind on homosexuality, relays the San Diego Union-Tribune , it is there to change behaviors. Here’s how they’re doing things in the Navy:

First, sailors will see a 24-minute narrated slide show that tells them what has and hasn’t changed. For example, people discharged for being gay can now seek re-enlistment. But military chaplains will still be able to preach about their religious beliefs, even if they oppose homosexuality. Then the training launches into what the Navy calls “vignettes,” a series of 14 real-life scenarios that try to guide sailors on how to react in the new environment. The scenarios delve into public displays of affection, gay-pride parades, locker room harassment, whether it’s acceptable to frequent gay bars and objections to rooming with straights or gays.

An example: A sailor dressed in civilian clothes is marching in a gay-rights parade. She is holding a sign that says “support gays and lesbians in the military.” Is that sailor breaking the rules? The Navy’s answer, according to a handout, is a qualified no. Just like marching in a political rally, a military person is not allowed to do so during work hours or in uniform. Dressed as a civilian and on her own time, despite the sign, a gay-rights parade would be “within the sailor’s right of expression and consistent with good order and discipline.”

Another example: In a locker room, two sailors are making loud derogatory jokes about not wanting to shower in front of a gay sailor. What does a leader do? The Navy’s answer is that a leader should inform the two sailors that discrimination and harassment aren’t appropriate. However, if someone requests the ability to avoid showering with another person, commanders will “have the discretion to grant personal requests within unit policies if the mission is not unacceptably impacted,” according to the material.

And if anybody has a follow up question about showering with homosexuals, they’ll be given the contact information of Capt. Owen Honors.

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  • Seandee

    Do people in the US really think repealing DADT will turn their military menace into a Village People music video? Those people scare me! Don’t worry, gays can abuse the poor and downtrodden civilians of 3rd world nations just as well as straights can.

  • McMike

    Too funny that they have different ones for different branches (they mention the Corps one). The Corps vignettes must be classic:

    “What happens when everyone in your unit is a total bottom?” (also known as ‘A total bottom’s guide to topping’.)

    “How to properly store your lube so other unit members will not steal it.”

    “Cucumbers. Does the kitchen really, really need them?”

    “Nonviolent ways to settle the dispute of who gets the new recruit.”

    “Marines: The few, the proud, the total bottoms.”

    “Bottoms in History: Famous Marines that have made the Marine Core what it is today.”

    “Be proud to be a total bottom.”

    And, I hear, their new motto is “It takes a real man to take it up the ass.”

  • Francis

    It’s stupid and silly, all of these rules, but the fact is, the military is very homophobic, and it’s not gonna be all fun and games for a while. So I can understand the “cautious” rules, even if they are being wrong. After a while, though, the shackles need to come off and the men need to just be men and deal with it.

  • Qwerty

    So, we’re basically back to square one. What’s the point of being out in the military if everybody is going to treat you like trash? DADT being repealed wasn’t the beginning, we have a thousand more steps to go, and I feel quite saddened that things didn’t miraculously change over night, but everyone has done so much, I know that we can accomplish lots more. I can’t believe these people, though.

  • thematics

    Very funny quips. Thank you for making me laugh out loud.

    Other nations’ militaries have managed to house and shower the straights and gays together without the gloomy doom and phobias that seem to be so pervasive among the nay-sayers. The sky won’t fall, and we’ll be amazed in 10 years that this integration was even an issue.

  • HAhahaha

    @McMike: oh man, I’m cracking my shit up. these are quite good. I look forward to spreading them.

  • Francis

    Qwerty, it’s very sad, and frustrating, but it’s a cultural issue, and many in the military, especially the older ones and the higher ups, see us as basically deviants ruining the order of the military. What needs to happen is there being an anti-discrimination ordinance passed. DADT may be a thing of the past but that doesn’t mean the homophobic mentality has changed.

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