Don’t You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Perez Hilton?

Mario Armando Lavandeira Jr. has apparently dropped a bunch of weight and put on some mankink for Weekly InTouch, which sounds like senior citizen softcore but is actually a celebrity and entertainment rag. We bet you click through all three pictures just to check out his goods, whether you like Perez or not—you know you wanna.

Via The Sword NSFW

Get Queerty Daily

Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #marioarmandolavandeirajr #perezhilton stories and more


  • redmont

    His weight was never the big issue, it was his personality.

    He can lose as much weight as he wants to, its not going to make him any less of a horrible person.

  • Elijah

    I can’t help but look at these pictures and feel like someone photoshopped Perez’s head onto a better body. They don’t…look like they belong together.

  • QJ201

    He probably still has to pay for sex.

  • Ogre Magi

    He looks a bit like Steve-O now

  • Ray

    @Ogre Magi: Wow you just said something that grossed Steve-O out.

  • Spike

    He has an ugly face and an ugly personality. It was super annoying when he decided it was okay for him to use the word F*g while mad and scream it at the Black Eye Peas.

  • otis

    He is still a douche bag, always will be.

  • Taeo

    @redmont: HA! Agreed, what a shame he became famous by riding the coat tails of other bloggers and never giving credit whenever he bit off other people’s celebrity news. Also, making homophobic slurs and trying to act all high an mighty as if this kids the fucken voice of gay equality was just pandering. And accessing your [email protected] roots whenever is convenient also makes this homo, a no-mo…. tired but good on him for getting his fitness on.

  • Dave

    He clearly had a tuck and pull done.

    He was very heavy for a long time and when you lose a lot of weight rather quickly, you end up with a good amount of loose skin.

  • BlueBird

    Ehh, whether he lost weight or not…he’s still not very attractive looking…>.<;;

    I'll also be the first one to say it…Straight Thin, Gay Fat xD

  • Michael in Toronto

    Bitch bitch bitch. I say , losing weight is f-ing hard and whatever he’s like and however he did it HE DID IT. Good for him.

  • Queen Ima Tramp

    Good for her, but she’s still a douche bag.

  • Oscar Raymundo

    Did he… shave his armpits?

  • John D

    No, no, no!

    The only way to run a picture of Mr. Lavandeira is to use a pencil tool (in MS Paint, nothing so classy as Photoshop) and make white “semen” streaks run from this mouth. Then, using the same pencil tool scribble comments like “famewhore” on the image.

    That’s how it’s done.

  • Right Wingers Are Socioptahs (John From England)



  • bavb

    Vicious Bitches!!!!!

  • Cam

    I see the airbrushers have been hard at work.

  • Eric

    I had the displeasure of meeting him casually in LA at the Kylie concert (friend’s fault)…courtesy hug grossed me out because there were fat rolls. Kind of hard to believe this is all natural.

  • UWSguy

    so he dieted and had lip. He’s still scum

  • TJ

    I can watch the video of him getting punched in the face by one of the black eyed peas all day long. Who cares that he lost weight, he’s still a douche.

  • otis

    Hey TJ,

    Where is that video of the douche bag getting a face punch?

  • homowatch6969696969

    he is still a poor excuse of a fag

  • Sed

    So how did he lose the weight?

  • picquito


  • howdy

    Too bad he can’t do anything about that horse face of his.


  • fredo777

    Yeah, I kind of thought he looked shopped, too.

  • Blech!

    Still scum, so… Not hot.

  • JR

    He’s been sucked and tucked. too bad he didn’t go tfor the personality transplant as well. what a dousche nozzle.

  • Sebizzar

    @redmont: Exactly.

  • Stephan

    It’s always sad when guys lose a ton of weight–yet are still ugly.

  • Jakey

    Hate him, but hey, congratulations.

  • Interesting

    Everyone “hates” him, but somehow he is popular. I liked his old site. He was mean, which was refreshing It was honest and interesting. We have enough sites trying to give oral sex to the egos of stars.

  • George412

    His head is too big for his body and I mean the one on his shoulders since it appears the one between his legs is miniscule by looking at these photos.


    That’s not his Hate filled body and his hair is thinner than that also..

  • Franco

    I appreciate that he is trying to be healthier, but he lacks credibility considering the terrible things he has written about other people over the years, including calling a baby “fat” and viciously making fun of Rumer Willis’ appearance. So, no matter how much weight he loses he’s still not a very nice person and still just as vain. Maybe more so. He seems like a very insecure person.

  • Cam

    I don’t get why his site still gets hits.

    Whether you liked the old site or not it at least had some real stuff on there. Now all he does is just reprint whatever stars publicists fax him. Boring.

  • Polyboy

    Can we have Morning Goods back please?

  • WOW!

    This is the most uniformly-agreed upon post in the history of Queerty. I mean, even hot guys get quibbled over in the oft-missed “morning goods”. And you can’t bet that someone like Michelle Bachmann doesn’t have her strange supporters. But P-Hil? Apparently NO ONE can stand him. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside, hopeful for our community. :-D

    And yeah, I miss old Queerty too. Every time they go through another round of changes, it gets weaker and weaker. Like when they make tea at a restaurant and just keep watering it down to stretch it out cuz they’re too lazy to make more.

  • alan Balehead

    Now you definately have to bring back morning goods!!…

  • jeff4justice

    I don’t get why people hate on this guy. Because he teases celebs? How’s that different from Chelsea Handler, Kathy Griffin, Lisa Lampanelli whom my fellow gays seem to love so much?

    So really, why is this guy so bad to ya’ll? Seems like a bunch of jealous bitches up in here.

  • Bertie

    Downward dogface

  • Interesting

    @jeff4justice: From the posts here as sample, it would seem the real complaint is that they don’t want to fuck him. In other words, unlike fag hags that boost their egos in other ways, this guy serves no useful function. But, that’s just a guess because ultimately you are right- there is no difference between him and other people who say mean shit about stars. Also, the other possibility is that people get on bandwagons easily and never think about the irrationality of the bandwagon they are on even when you offer up. I am sure if they answered your question they would find some made up difference that really makes no sense when you think about it too much.

  • Interesting

    @Cam: Habit. A lot of people still go out of habit, but you are right- its boring now, and I stopped reading it for exactly that reason.

  • velocifero

    He is one step shy always of a pedophilia case and mark my words, he’ll get busted one day. He’s constantly lusting over pre-teen celebrities and boy-bands. In LA, he used to be known as a notorious drunk, then a dry-drunk and now I’m sure his self obsession with working out and dieting is just another extension of his addictive – narcissistic nature. I lump him in with Andy Cohen, the A-List and all the other sad excuses of gay men wishing they where rich-spoiled-white-women. The truly A-List PR firms in LA have him blacklisted ever since he started printing pictures of celebrity’s kids and insulting them on his blog. I wouldn’t be so proud of being profiled in “In Touch Weekly”. It’s about as tabloid as you can get and if anything, the editors are probably printing those photos to mock him and set him up for media derision. Though Perez is too self-absorbed to see as anything different.

  • Interesting

    Sometimes I think many of the people here are just the site’s management trying to drum up comments. Are there really people out there who think a celebrity gossiper is secretly a pedophile? How crazy do yo have to be to come up with that type of scenario if you aren’t trying to drum up comments?

  • Scott

    I have a hard time losing weight so I have respect for him at being able to set a goal and sticking to it.

  • boxer

    Too bad his face still looks that way. Also, his personality is revolting.

    Those pics have also been ‘shopped beyond recognition.

    God he’s gross.

  • mikael

    last pic is pretty nice

  • Adonis-of-Fire

    I bet you nasty bitter queens are twice as fat as he was

  • MattGMD

    Now he’s an in-shape snarky celebrity-envying sycophant.

  • Zeus

    omg now only 1 more year till he is a muscly chelsea whore!

  • Joe

    @Eric: I’m not a fan of Perez, but this comment is what makes LA sad for me.

  • Hunter

    Too bad he can’t get a head and personality transplant. Even with a much nicer body, (healthy is always better, good for him) just the thought of sex with him makes me throw up a little in my mouth! He’s still gross! But hey, you will always have hot young guys looking for rich sugar daddies so the douche will be just fine.

  • Andrew

    @ Scott – Well said! My thoughts exactly. It’s not easy to lose weight. So, whatever you may feel about him, he deserves some credit.

  • Yes it's me

    No bulge. Even if he was the most beautiful person in the world 99.9% of people would kick him out of bed based on his gross personality. He is shady, gross, and a terrible person with no talet who simply leaches of others hard work and fame.

  • bleh

    He’s still a hideous, meth-faced, pepperoni-nippled, acne-ridden douchehole.

  • Morgan

    Look it’snot that he’s physically unattractive(we all already know that). Rather it’s the cruel personality punctuated by righteous indignation at comparably minor events. That’s why we really hate him. That won’t stop us, however, from being just as cruel to him as he to other people.

  • Jack E. Jett

    Perez told me one time that he didn’t care if people loved him or hated him….as long as the clicked on his site.
    Now I think he is trying to become one of those people he drew coke bugers on.

    His body looks great. It take a lot of work to get to that sort of body at his age.

  • Daez

    Kind of brings to mind the old saying, “I may be fat, but you are ugly, I can lose weight!” Even as a skinny twink, Perez still has one of the ugliest personalities ever, and lets not forget that face.

  • Woody

    If he hadn’t made $$$$$ off of bullying people and their children he could not have afforded paying for a trainer, nutritionist and lipo and thus would still be eating compulsively to stuff his feelings. Now that he has money he says: no more bullying. How convenient. Ugly souls cannot buy a good soul. When money dictates the need, he will return to his cruel ways.

  • Frida

    Too bad you jealous superficial losers can’t see someone who has worked hard to change inside AND out. The most you will do today is scratch yourselves and bitch about Desperate housewives reruns.

  • Ross

    He looks great, and I’m jealous of that hair, the procedure was a definite success, good for him, I’m counting down the days till I can afford that.

  • GypsyBoy

    You can’t diet and exercise away pure cunt-ness though…

  • Ken S

    Congratulations, good for him. Now if only there was some exercise regimen or surgical procedure to fix his massive character flaws.

Comments are closed.