Doomed Roxy Saved By Sartorial Saint

Big news in Gayville! How big? Well, so big that HX Magazine apparently had to stop their presses to include the story in Friday’s issue. (Although, we were under the impression that Next Magazine – which actually owns the printer – went to press first and that HX typically didn’t finish printing until mid-morning Friday, but whatever…)

Those of you who live in New York, have been to New York or know that New York exists have probably heard of a place called Roxy: a legendary, legendarily sweaty club where homos dance shirtless, snort openly and snog like maniacs.

If you know that, you may also know that the former warehouse space has been on the chopping block for the past few weeks. Due to “forces behind our control” (read: tax evasion), the boys were packing their poppers and glitter in preparation for what would no doubt be a tearful, farewell.

According to HX, however, some mysterious – and appropriately rollerskate clad – angels have come to the rescue:

Roxy manager Jason McCarthy phoned to inform us that the day had in fact – at least at press time – been saved, thanks to a group of wealthy investors who love Roxy’s rollerskating (including one famous designer who rarely misses the Wednesday night party).

Let us rejoice! We still have a place where a mere $40 allows us all the drugged-out, slutty homo-hoppers we want! Not only that, but we’ll no doubt get some STDs for free! God, we love New York…

We haven’t been to Roxy in years, so we’ve got no clue as to who this disco loving designer may be – if anyone out there wants to venture a guess, we’re all ears. We’re assuming it’s not Karl Lagerfeld.