Many Drag Race recappers were mad that Straight Roommate got left out of the recap last week, so to make it up to you, this week’s recap is all about my hetroomie and his views on Logo’s only worthwhile show, RuPaul’s Drag Race. This week, the final four duke it out for a place in the finals.
For the penultimate episode, the Final Four, Rebecca (aka Mean Mustache), Nina (aka The Gentle Giant), Bebe (aka Grace Jones Wants Her Attitude Back) and Shanelle (aka Let Me Tell You How Amazing I Am) have to come up with three looks: A swimsuit, a “real” business woman and evening wear, all themed to various Absolut vodkas.
Now, Absolut is throwing a ton of money at this show and up til now, we haven’t seen much of them. This episode makes up for all that by cramming as much vodka cross-promotional tie-ins as possible. Each girl is themed to be a different fruit-flavored vodka. There’s a mid-challenge cocktail party. The nice Absolut guy keeps explaining the various flavors of fruit-flavored vodka. We get it! Gays need to be alcoholics! We’re working on it! Somebody needs to tell the Absolut marketing people that fruity vodkas are out, by the way. Oh look, we just did. In the commercial break Straight Roommate and I discuss what sort of vodkas we would be. He settles on Absolut Whisky and I settle on Absolut Bombay Sapphire.
Take that, product placement!
How about we take this to the next level?
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The show’s editors continue to overplay their hand by overdoing the emotional manipulation. When Bebe is chosen to be Ms. Raspberry, S.R. jumps up and says, “Hey! That’s great! Chocolate and raspberries!” but the show cuts it to look as if Bebe is just sitting there doing nothing—which of course means she’ll win the challenge. We see it coming a mile away and to pass the time while we watch a bunch of dressmaking montages. Then me and the roomie decide who we want to win:
Shanelle
S.R.: “Shanelle is really good looking. Yeah she’s a total bitch, but she’s gorgeous.”
G.R.: “Total bitch, absolutely, but I love how into herself she is and I love the showgirl thing.”
Rebecca
S.R.: “If she stopped doing the raccoon eyes, she’d be a good looking guy.”
G.R.: “You killed Ongina’s chances, bitch. You’re going down. Also, I hate her make-up a little more every week.”
Bebe
S.R.: “She creeps my shit out. She’s so creepy. She moves like a spastic automaton. She shorted a circuit and went haywire.”
G.R.: “The most boring of them all. She’s classy, but yeah, kind of lifeless.”
Nina
S.R.: “I can’t get past Nina’s lack of eyebrows.”
G.R: “But that tattoos and the accent! Plus, for a beefy Latin boy, she knows how to pull out a new look every week.”
Our picks for winner
S.R.’s: “Shannelle. I’d hate to think they’d go for superficial, but then again, it’s a drag queen race, right?”
G.R’s: “Shanelle. Totally full of herself, but that’s half the fun.”
Straight Roommate is explaining how he would incorporate mangoes into his drag outfit (think flower petals) when Charo shows up in the Drag Race dressing room! Now, Charo will star in anything, anytime anybody asks, but after a minute of watching her teaching the girls how to samba and walk in heels (which the girls sweetly do not get uppity about), we’re totally won over by her Coochy-Coochy attitude. She’s like the Latina Tammy Faye, right? Straight Roommate adds, “Only in the middle of a gay show can you stop the action and have a conga line.” It’s meant as a compliment, obviously.
Quick assignment: Start a conga line this week. Detail your results in the comments.
On Vaseline Alley, Bebe, despite the editor’s attempts to make us think otherwise, pulls out all the stops and even S.R. says that she’s “the least creepy she’s ever been.” Straight Roommate goes on about how Shannelle will win the swimsuit portion because “she has phenomenal legs” and for the record, he says this before Shannelle walks down the runway. When Shannelle does come out, she does a little Silence of the Lambs routine that causes the Absolut Guy to recoil in horror. That’s not product placement we can believe in! Nina does some clever looks she says are inspired by her Mom, which makes it hard to say that they reminded us of Joan Crawford’s wardrobe in Mommy Dearest and to our eye, Rebecca’s outfits were the most modern and fresh.
Since it’s near the end of the competition, Ru asks the girls who they’d like to eliminate. Rebecca asks if she can choose just one and ha, ha, you’d think this was a joke, but she says it seriously. Rebecca’s not the brightest jewel in the tiara and Bebe and Nina both say they’d get rid of her if they had any say in it. Now, Shannelle hates, hates, hates Rebecca, but decides that she’s going to say that she’d kick herself off the show because the judges all call her a fake whose incapable of vulnerability and, goddammit, she’s beautiful! Beautiful!
As soon as she’s off the stage, all the judges decide that Shannel’s outburst was carefully planned. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t, girl. We think Shannelle has a point, to be honest. Her drag persona (which admittedly is a reflective of her real life persona) is of the indomitable performer who’s always in control. From day one she’s said she’s the “Barbara Streisand of drag,” so what do the judges expect, really? Just because she doesn’t want to cry and suck up to you doesn’t mean she isn’t any good.
And that spirited defense is obviously there because it’s Shannel who loses this week. Bebe wins and Nina and Rebecca are of to next weeks finals. Poor Shannelle. We shall miss your snake ensconced breasts, jiggling ass and imperious demeanor. We’ll look you up next time we’re in Vegas.
Qjersey
Shannelle always turned it out, but only in that Vegas surface level way.
Rebecca, Smack that worked over tranny drag DOWN
Bebe, love her but
NINA ROCKS and has my vote, in or out of drag!
Jason
Hate her all you want, but I’m pretty certain Bebe has this one in the bag.
Andrew W
Shanelle really is stunning, but… doesn’t she also look just a little bit (a whole lot) like Kirstie Alley?
BrianZ
Love love love Nina! She’s always amazing, always fresh and exciting: Mearl said it “She always manages to surprise” and I agree. That element of ‘what’s she gonna do next’ is something that really helped RuPaul gain the level of notoriety she has today.
I don’t hate BeBe but she’s just not exciting. I think she does amazing drag, but very few of her looks had the ‘wow’ factor for me: Very fishy but doesn’t pop. And that wig rippin’ hissy fit last week made me cringe.
I couldn’t believe that Rebecca got through, again!, on her “potential”. Honey I’m not going to watch this show for a couple years waiting for her to learn the skills necessary to win. Her outfits were frayed at the edges, totally unfinished. I do give her credit on some original thinking on the outfits, they weren’t totally shiteous. Her makeup is almost well done, but never polished; you can see the texture of it. Her walk on the runway looks as if her legs are getting some mechanical assistance, not fluid at all. And her expression in drag … well, maybe she’s afraid to move her face for fear of the pancake falling off. She might have potential (to be a street hooker), but it’s not to be a drag superstar. I gag ever so slightly (and that’s a mean feat at this point in my life) when I think that Ongina and Shannel went home to keep this person on the show.
PapaBing
How the hell is that Rebecca chick even still on this show????
rex
I for one didn’t think I would like the show – but I do – and I’m routing for Nina Flowers….I’ve seen drag over the my 48yrs and NEVER fully appreciated the work put into it…Nina Flowers represents Masculinity and the FULL Transformation that being a Drag Star entails.
Raven
Rebecca is just ” A boy in a dress” and NOTHING more.
GO NINA!
jackpacer
Shannel never had a chance winning, the judges always critiqued her harder than the rest. The reason, RuPaul is still a gorgous ass diva queen, Shannel is a gorgous ass diva queen and we all know that you can have two diva queen accupy the same room. Since RuPaul is in charge, Shannel had to go. Don’t worry Shannel, with LaCage closed in Vegas, there is room for a new drag show on the strip and now you get to advertise “as seen on DragRace”. Rebecca should have been off two shows ago. I’m rooting for Ms. NIina Flowers. He really worked out that Vogue challenge, shame we didn’t have a surprise Madonna appearance.
rex
I agree with JackPacer’s assessment..regarding Shannel…he/she was VERY Talented,and seemed to be Harshly Judged Every week…despite the fact that her appearance,and talent were Obvious!
Chris
I could not stand Shannel. She has no class. Her big attitude and even larger costumes really turned me off. I will be happy if Nina wins. Although a smart ass sometimes, she is always helping the other contestants so she can have a fair fight for the title. She is the most decent Queen on the show.
Jack
NINA NINA NINA
Tahitian Brown
Why the heck is Rebecca still in the show? Bebe sucks, but she’s going to win it unfortunately.
oneway
Among this cast of contestants, Nina is as close as it gets to being the total package. Bebe can pull off a wider range of looks, but Nina has a carefully crafted look that is immediately recognizable and very unique.
Go Nina!
Keith
@Andrew W: Fettuccine Alfredo!!!
kevin (not that one)
Shannel = Diva
Is anyone surprised that we FINALLY got to see Shannel’s inner diva go ballistic?
That said, I’m going to miss Shannel most of all since she is a true queen. I love the way she dishes and I believe, despite her divatude, that she/he’s a really nice person. And I totally agree with her about Rebecca.
It should be said that only out of the lips of a drag queen could you expect to hear the irony-laden “underneath all of that make-up is a superficial person”.
And what’s the deal with the whole retro foray into vogueing? That totally made no sense. And, if you’ve ever seen Paris is Burning or Party Girl, you would’ve known that none of them actually pulled off a true vogue.
Jon Wilson
Nina is adorable. And she has a great amount of class. I almost wept that week when she said she came from “a humble background” (because they couldn’t afford cable tv, as I recall). Bebe is classy too, but she is not sincere enough, nor is she articulate enough. Even though Nina has the accent, she is so winning as a human being. What ARE we going to do with those hideous tattoos?!?!?
Rebecca just has to go. Buh-bye.
Sebbe
Straighty vs. Japhy live blogging season finale please!!
scandi
Rebecca just doesn’t look like a drag queen to me. She looks like one of those gay boys (myself included) who decides to dress up on Halloween and might look okay, but ain’t no damn queen. It just kills me that she’s there over Ongina.
My vote is definitely going to be for Nina, she’s the only one left who’s truly fierce.
Rob W.
I’m rooting for Nina. She was surprisingly subdued this week with her outfit choices and she pulled it off. Her range is that of a winner.
scott
@Andrew W
That’s EXACTLY what I thought when watching it. Her eyes and with certain wigs she’s the spitting image of Kirstie. Except, maybe slimmer now.
I think Bebe will win it. Not that I want her too.
Tom Bardwell
Nina will win!
Rebecca needs to soften her contour.
Cuirboy
Shanelle has left and so have I. The show is now as tedious to watch as it was to have to watch that awful Ongina. Attitude is no substitute for talent or beauty.
dwain
Nina Pee’s…You go girl your the bomb ! ! And How Does She keep those wigs on her head? Surely not super-glue ?
Doug
I’d like Nina Flowers to win and think she should win… If you think about it Nina is the one you’d notice and the one you would remember. Nina Flowers is also more transformative in his persona’s and distinctive in his/her look… And he seems like a great guy too!
Phoenix (Formerly and AngerTwink, now just Angry)
Did anyone else feel like entering AA after this episode? That was a lot of vodka.
sparkle obama
@Andrew W:
>>Shanelle really is stunning, but… doesn’t she also look just a little bit (a whole lot) like Kirstie Alley?<<
yeah she does!
it’s the eyebrows.
shannel does the vegas showgirl thing and she does the vegas smoky eye.
chanel’s classic vegas stripper brow is cruelly curved – self-consciously “aggressive” and ever-so-slightly placed too close together.
it’s a sci-fi/fantasy “wicked disney queen” brow crossed with sheer, inadvertant reba mcintire/polly holliday cornpone…
shannel’s brows are consciously intimidating, angrily drawn
and faintly, slightly “white trash”
(not to get “racial”…)
like previous contestant tammy brown, as well as holly woodlawn, rhoda, ross the boss, clara bow and the fabulous marisa berenson,
rupaul’s eyebrows are always spaced wide-apart, open, light, ethereal – and more roundly *arced* than arched & angled.
rupaul’s art deco, ross-related brow is organic, friendly and optimistic.
it represents rupaul’s basic positivity as clearly as shannel’s knitted, country & baroquely “evil” brow mirrors her own intrinsic negativity!
-it’s as clear as the brows on those girls’ faces…
as fit and poised as she is, shannel’s sick, wrong, country stripper brow finally is a
deal-breaker for me, aesthetically speaking…
along with her dark, swooping, contrasting tammy fae baker lipliner –
– well she can kiss my grits!
nina flowers most consistently represents the standard set by rupaul himself.
she gives the face, the flair & the hilarity.
she brings back the human simpatico contagious joie de vivre that made rupaul herself so special when she first came out in the 80s & 90s, and added up to her persona as a shaman for the “age of oprah”.
however!
only the paint-challenged, tentative rebecca has the POTENTIAL to equal or even come close to the BEAUTY STANDARD set by rupaul as Supermodel of the World.
i have to assume that there a singing challenge & a beauty challenge yet to come in the competion.
do you think they will have to sing, or is “singing” a moot point in the rupaul equation??
entyway, i’m looking forward to a beauty shot challenge.
rupaul is just like his doppelgangers ross, cher & miss dolly parton,
along with the force of her phenomenal personality, it was sheer beauty & physical grace that brought rupaul all the way to the top of his field.
if rebecca can find her motivation, loosen up and somehow learn to
*blend her blush*…
Gurlene
I thought Ongina was nice even though she struck me as the type off camera you would want to slap the shit out of her prancing ass.
BobP
Geez, I have a headache after that endless post.
Nina should win. BeBe is boring and Rebecca doesn’t even look like a gay boy in drag, he looks like a straight boy in drag. Never pretty.
sparkle obama
i am gagging on “rupaul’s drag race”.
all the kids are lovely!
both nina flowers and ongina are potential superstars and the embattled rebecca glasscock is a true beauty and you lie if you deny!
shannel was a trip, and her absolute swimsuit walk was flawless and pretty, but i can’t cosign on all the praise her makeup application has recieved.
i think she’s talented, precise and skilled – but i also feel her style is misguided and “regional”, as the children say nowadays…
shannel brags about her skills, but how about some class?
…it’s all in the eyebrows.
someone else pointed out that shannel gives you kirstie alley *down* – and not in a good way.
Sebbe
@sparkle obama – Once Shannel shook her ass again at the judges I screamed OUT at the teevee. That may go over big in the club in vegas, and it was cute the first few times she did it, but enough already. She screams trashy vegas, I don’t think that is what Ru is looking for.
Mike
I just caught the show on VH1 last night. Does anyone know if Logo is picking it up for another season? Or will they abandon it like Noah’s Arc?
Keith
@Sebbe: Chicken Fetticine almost had but then did the ass shaking to a gospel track which is so not appropriate.
@ Sparkle Obama- love the eyebrow analysis food for thought.
@ Mike – God forbid Logo should do the right thing and renew a bonified hit. I’ve noticed that when they cross utilize a show it’s a good sign but I could be wrong. Lord knows they threw on the tar stain Tea Telicka on Logo just because it was a hit on MTV(I think) Was the thinking, “hey she’s bi maybe the queers watching Logo will like it.” I’m so hoping Rupaul gets renew because I forgot how wonderful he is. Sorry to go on & on. One last thing, Has anyone noticed how Rupaul kinda disappeared during the Bush years.
Stop! Or My Daddy Will Shoot!
@kevin (not that one): Voguing didn’t stop after Paris is Burning. Balls are still happening today, and the girls have taken the dramatics to a whole ‘nother gymnastic breakdancing level of ferocity. Nina especially knows how to pull off a contemporary vogue, notably ‘hand performance’, though I was hoping to see some real ‘dips’.
And speaking of, I’m dissappointed that instead of lending the whole Vogue/Ball theme a little bit of authenticity by having one of Paris is Burning‘s Legendary Children or a current figure on the scene (Jay Karan!) as a special guest judge, they brought out some Vodka shill. Yeah he was cute, but that’s not the point.
Shanelle was a little embarrassing to watch, as usual, and it was especially hilarious to see her shake her tailfeather to a GOSPEL song! Bebe does her thing but is a little dry, and I’ve been on Team Nina since the beginning. She helped Bebe with her outfits! She’s in it to win, but she’s not cut-throat like some other bitches who will remain glasscock, I mean nameless.
Mike
@ Keith. read his blog. It explains alot during those years.
dwain
How does Nina keep those mohawks on her bald head?