Dream Team: 7 Athletes We Wish Would Come Out

chris kluwe

Now that Jason Collins has broken the gay male professional athlete glass ceiling, we got to thinking: who would be next? Who’ll come dribbling, rushing, sprinting, diving, fencing (?) out of the closet? In that spirit, we threw on our technicolor dreamjerseys and journeyed to the land of What If to imagine some of our favorite athletes switching teams, as it were.

Check out the 7 athletes Queerty wishes would come out. Go long. 

Tim Tebow

The recently-released Jets quarterback has a rabid conservative Christian following which would choke on its own self-righteousness if their golden boy came out of the closet. Those megachurch speaking engagements would probably dry up, but the boy’s not bad-looking and we’re sure he’d clean up off the field. And if Rob Gronkowski has anything to say about it, on the field. “Tebowing” would have an all new meaning.


Chris Kluwe and Brendon Ayanbadejo 

Brendon and Chris are such committed allies they’d probably just come out for the hell of it. And as the ultimate show in solidarity, they’d get married (in Maryland not Minnesota). Matching football helmets and all. Stunning. Where that would leave their respective families, however, is another matter best settled between lawyers and the tabloids. Love knows no out-of-bounds!


Usain Bolt

The Olympic sprinter has been Jamaican us crazy since he ran onto the track and into our hearts. If the six-time gold medal winner came out, it would also have serious impact in the notoriously homophobic island-nation from which he hails. We just hope his title as the “fastest man ever” doesn’t apply to all facets of his life.


Mike Piazza

That handelbar mustache is just begging for a ride. The former Met has been dodging gay rumors just because his position reminds people of man-sex and just because he looks like a leather daddy — a filthy one. Talk about judging a book by its cover, though how awesome a spokesman would he be for the Folsom community? Meanwhile, does anyone remember this sad chapter?

Russell Westbrook

Every gay’s crazy ’bout a sharp-dressed man. We were immediately infatuated by Russell’s impeccable style during his Levi’s 501 jeans commercial and his confidence is just as sexy. He could not only snatch all that LGBT enodrsement coin sponsors are suddenly so eager to throw, but also serve as a great role model for the up-and-coming children.

tom daley

Tom Daley


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