Duck Dynasty Grampa Says Queers Want to Break Into Women’s Bathrooms

13-1223-Phil-RobertsonCan you figure out the latest homophobic rant from Phil Robertson?

“For all you ladies in Texas, trust me when I tell you this: when you’re seated in your restroom, putting on your Maybelline, when I need to take a leak, I’m not going there,” he said this weekend at an rally organized to protest anti-discrimination laws.

(That’s right, it’s an anti-anti-discrimination rally. A pro-discrimination rally. They have those.)

The usual suspects were also in attendance: the Family Research Council (whose head says that gays are “operating outside of nature”), the National Organization for Marriage (which is hemorrhaging cash, so you might not have to hear about them for much longer), and the American Family Association (a leader of which called rainbows “the mark of the beast”).

There’s a gross rumor going around Houston’s ignorant church community that “men dressed as women” are invading bathrooms. This is obviously insane — what exactly do these people think that gay people do? — but it’s apparently suckered in some gullible idiots like Robertson.

Also apparently he thinks that women apply makeup while seated on the toilet? Sure, fine, why not.

The Duck Dynasty star who plays a friendsy, folksy fella on TV, but in reality he’s just another idiot millionaire, a one-percenter in hiding whose grasp on reality has slipped so far it’s essentially gibberish.

So this is the state of affairs in conservative religious America. We’re holding rallies to cheer about where some millionaire pees. Great job everyone.