Why settle when you can have it all? One Reddit user listed 10 requirements for his Mr. Right in the r/askgaybros forum recently, writing, “This is all I want in a guy. Please tell me if it’s too much, or if I should add anything to the list.”
Here’s his wishlist, in full:
– Taller than me but not so tall that he makes me look short
– Makes over six figures but isn’t consumed by the idea of wealth
– Is faithful and pretends that I’m his first boyfriend
– Is super jacked but makes me his priority before hitting the gym or meal prepping his food
– Likes all the shows I do but isn’t addicted to TV
– Has very high standards for a partner but not so high [that I don’t make] the cut
– Can speak three-plus languages so he can tell me he loves me in different ways
– Is funny and has my exact sense of humor but doesn’t think our relationship is a joke
– Is very career-driven but is even more relationship-driven because I’m important
– Is super handsome but doesn’t make me look like an old witch
In case it’s not obvious, that Reddit user was parodying other wishlists he’d seen online. And we admit, it took us a few bullet points to catch on!
Some commenters in the thread understood the assignment, so to speak.
“Ugh, kween, you didn’t even add that he ought to be of royal blood,” one quipped. “Learn 👏 to 👏 know 👏 your 👏 worth.👏”
Another wrote, “D*ck size. He should be big, but he should also not be big, because it can hurt. Also, he should have a hairy chest/forearms/legs/pubes, but he should also not have body hair, because we don’t know what we like and want on a given day.”
The thread turned serious, however, when one Redditor observed that “some people standards are so low that they could use a wake-up call like this to let them know to shoot a little higher.”
But another user begged to differ, writing, “Standards and a list of criteria are two entirely different things, and that’s what a lot of gays have trouble understanding. … Wanting a tall, dark-haired, hung, green-eyed, career-driven man is having criteria. Wanting a man with whom you’ll be able to truly communicate is having standards. … Don’t mistake the two together. That’s the problem of a lot of gay men, because they think they have standards, while they only have criteria and thus end up in shitty relationship.”
Do you have thoughts on that standards-versus-criteria argument? Are there other paradoxical requirements you’d add to the list above? Let us know in the comments!